April 2019


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Movie 43 (2013)

Clio: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Jesse: “That was awesome.”
iDRMRSR: “Oh this was a GREAT flick. I had to shampoo my reclinar after I watched it I crapped my slacks so many times laughing.”
Native ratings: 3.0/5 stars Netflix, only 4.4/10 IMDB.

This movie took me places I’ve never been before. It gets really low ratings becuase it is too ridiculous, disgusting, and low-brow. But if you like the Family Guy/South Park style of humor, IGNORE THE LOW RATINGS and go for this.

It is a series of about 13 interconnected segments. The framing-device part that encapsulates all of the sketches is probably the worst part. The individual segments range from funny to oh-god-make-it-stop awkward to disgusting to ridiculous.

For example, Hugh Jackman goes on a blind date with Kate Winslet, and he has testicles that hang off his neck. The whole segment is about Winslet’s disbelief at Jackman’s neckticles.

There’s also a super hero speed dating segment.

Great movie that totally exceeded all of our expectations.

BTW, another reason to watch this movie? Ensemble cast. Anna Faris (why do you think we watched this?), Emma Stone, Hugh Jackman, Johnny Knoxville, Kate Winslet, Naomi Watts, Kate Bosworth, Elizabeth Banks, Uma Thurman, Leslie Bibb, Kristen Bell, Seth MacFarlane, Patrick Warburton, Liev Schreiber, Gerard Butler, Seann William Scott, Dennis Quaid, J.B. Smoove, Justin Long, Greg Kinnear, Charlie Saxton, Chris Pratt, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe Grace Moretz, Stephen Merchant… and even Snooki.

Even the directors of the segments include Bob Odenkirk (who wrote his segment) and Elizabeth Banks.

This movie is all over the place, and that’s awesome.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1333125/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Warm Bodies (2013)

Clio: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Jess: 3.4/5 stars, 5.9/10.
Native ratings: 4.0/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

*Another* zombie romance movie? Awesome! But unlike Boy Eats Girl, this one is post-apocalyptic, in a world populated almost exclusively with zombies. Like I Am Legend.

And yet, this movie is completely and wholely about the power of love.

Very good movie. It didn’t get too sappy with the romance part, and the zombies were awesome. There is a surprising amount of comedy. Surprising. And this had a slightly different take on zombie-ism. For instance, with great effort, a zombie can utter word or two. And there were two kinds of zombies: The normal zombies, and the ones that had given up so much hope that they’d peeled their skin off and were basically walking skeletons. These ones were feared even by the normal zombies.

I’d describe the movie math behind this as (I Am Legend * ((Twilight + Romeo & Juliet) / 2)) – teen emo bullshit + Boy Eats Girl… I caught on to the Romeo & Juliette similarties during the balcony scene.

But the fact that I just said Twilight might scare people. However, Teresa Palmer, to me, looks exactly like a blonde Kristin Stewart. And being loved by something that has a natural instinct to devour you is the basic premise of both Twilight and this movie.

But the fact that I just said Twilight might scare people. However, Teresa Palmer, to me, looks exactly like a blonde Kristin Stewart. And being loved by something that has a natural instinct to devour you is the basic premise of both Twilight and this movie.

In the end, you are left with a great message of hope, the power of love, and human triumph over darkness. Can love change the way the entire planet functions? Yes. Yes it can. And I’m not just talking about the movie.

Beware: This is a work of fiction, and makes no attempt to be fully logical. For example, electricity is still working even though society has collapsed. If you’re unable to look past something like that (but somehow able to look past the fact that zombies don’t actually exist), you might want to resolve that mental incongruity prior to watching.

Directed and written by Jonathan Levine. This is his best movie, though The Wackness was also good and profound.
Based on a novel by Isaac Marion.

Nicholas Hoult (Beast in X-Men: First Class, Clash Of The Titans remake) as R the Zombie.
Teresa Palmer (Take Me Home Tonight, The Grudge 2) as the human girl, Julie.
John Malkovichas Julie’s father, Grigio.
Analeigh Tipton (Crazy Stupid Love, The Green Hornet) as Julie’s horney friend, Nora.
Rob Corddry (Hot Tub Time Machine, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, the clown doctor in Childrens Hospital, Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, The Ten) as M.
James Franco’s brother Dave (Superbad, the new 21 Jumpstreet, The Riddler in 2 eps of Young Justice) plays Perry, the original boyfriend.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1588173/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Pecker (1998)

Clio: 4.6/5 stars, 8.4/10.
Carolyn: 4.6/5 stars, 8/10.
Jesse watched this with us.
Native ratings: 3.3/5 stars Netflix, 6.3/10 IMDB.

This was actually a really awesome movie… Hilariously fun and bizarre. Plus, it’s about photography, and the way people tend to overreact to someone other than the government taking their picture. This movie out-quirks 99% of movies out there… And goddamn is the soundtrack very strange at times. It’s definitely appropros and adds to the film. Basically, it is obvious when watching this movie that it is the product of a brilliant director.

And of course, like all John Waters movies, you get outrageous dialogue, and great, memorable lines.  “This is a gay club and I need to see some gay I.D.”  “Pubic hair causes crime.”  “My meat curtain stands alone.”

It got kinda sad during the middle, but then magically everybody loved him again. How did that transformation occur? Well, I think I actually glossed over the piont of it all, and then Carolyn explained it to me… Once he “screwed” over the New Yorkers the same way he did the Baltimorians, they all realized, “Oh, but it’s art!”, and began to see photography from a more objective viewpoint.  It was a little convenient, but what would you expect from John Waters? They all have a surreal, skew quality to them. Like a live-action cartoon that no child should ever see. [Hmmm… Imagine John Waters doing an AdultSwim cartoon. That’d be awesome.]

Starring Edward Furlong (Hawk in Detroit Rock City, John Connor in Terminator 2, The Crow in The Crow 4, American History X, The Green Hornet) as Pecker.
18-year-old Christina Ricci (Wednesday in The Addams Family, Sleepy Hollow, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, 200 Cigarettes, Bless The Child) as Shelley. The younger she is, the weirder and creepier she looks. Her latest IMDB picture actually makes her look like a normal redhead person.
Lili Taylor (instantly recognizable as Lisa from Six Feet Under, High Fidelity, Four Rooms, Short Cuts) as Rorey, the art dealer.
Lauren Hulsey (she has not acted in much… she’s a visual effects person nowadays) as Pecker’s sugar-hyped little sister, Chrissy.
Mark Joy (Cecil B. Demented, Dogma) as Pecker’s dad.
Mary Kay Place (Being John Malkovich, Smashed, Mrs. Saunders in Youth In Revolt) as Pecker’s mom.
Martha Plimpton (Stef from The Goonies, Dante’s Inferno, 200 Cigarettes) as Pecker’s sister, the faghag Tina.
Jean Schertler (A Dirty Shame, Runaway Bride [don’t ever watch that piece of crap movie!]) as Memama, Pecker’s FUCKING CREEPY grandmother…. “FULL OF GRACE!”
Brendan Sexton III (Seven Psychopaths, Empire Records, Welcome To The Dollhouse) as Pecker’s shoplifting friend, Matt.
Mink Stole (A Dirty Shame, Cecil B. Demented, Splendor, But I’m A Cheerleader, other John Waters‘ movies such as Hairspray, Polyester, Pink Flamingoes) as Precinct Captain.
Bess Armstrong (the mom in My So-Called Life) as Dr. Klompus. Didn’t recognize her.

Amber adds: “Love this film and am a big Edward Furlong and John Waters fan Oddly enough, one of my FB friends who writes a satirical column for BrightestYoungThings published this amusing piece about the “death of Edward Furlong” LOL. It’s really a shame he’s gone so downhill http://brightestyoungthings.com/articles/obytuary-edward-furlong.htm

We love it too….. Enlightening article! he was…. interesting as The Crow in The Crow 4. They had so much makeup on him I didn’t know whether to be scared or horny. It was disturbing in a different way than the other crows…

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0126604/combined