November 2020

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Man Of Steel (2013) [watched in 3-d]

Claire: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Carolyn: 4.6/5 stars, 9/10.
Evan: 4.3/5 stars, 9/10.
Native ratings: 4.0/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

I knew this would be a movie I loved… Although I had my doubts because the last Superman movie wasn’t that memorable. (Though checking my notes, I said it was as good as any other Superman movie. Of course those other ones were late 1970s/early 1980s, so of course something made in the 2000s will generally be comparable just by the fact that movies are much more well done nowadays).

Suffice to say, I was not disappointed.

Very entertaining.  Superman origin story with LOTS of action.  LOTS. The action barely let up, even for a moment.  Those were literally some of the most epic fight scenes I’ve seen in my entire life. Especially if you don’t count animation.  Superheroes are awesome, and this was awesome.

I like how they made it a point to not spend too much time on his childhood. I like to think of that as a “fuck you” to Smallville’s later, shitty seasons. Incindentally, at least 5 people from this movie played in at least 1 episode of Smallville. Amy Adams (S1E7), Mackenzie Gray (S5E15,S10E1), Tahmoh Penikett (S6E19/21,S3E15), Alessandro Juliani (14 S8 eps), and David Paetkau (S1E3,S8E15).

One complaint: Everyone had way too visible pores. I do not need to be THAT aware of y’alls’ pores!


Directed by Zack Snyder (Sucker Punch, Watchmen, Legend Of The Guardians: The Owls Of Ga’Hoole, 300, Dawn Of The Dead (2004))
Written by David S. Goyer (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises, Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance, The Crow 2, Jumper, Blade: The Series) and Christopher Nolan (Inception, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises, Memento, Following).

Henry Cavill (The Count Of Monte Cristo) as Clark Kent / Kal-El.
Amy Adams (Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby, Psycho Beach Party, Cruel Intentions 2, 3 eps of The Office, 3 eps of King Of The Hill, 1 ep of Smallville) as Lois Lane.
Michael Shannon (Cecil B. DeMented, Groundhog Day, 8 Mile, Vanilla Sky, 1 ep of Delocated) as General Zod.
Diane Lane (Jumper, Judge Dredd) as Martha Kent.
“Oh my God, it’s Russell Crowe” as Jor-El. Took 3 of us to come up with who he was. Claire: “Isn’t that what’s his name? The guy who went fightin’ round the world in South Park.” Carolyn: “That’d be Russell Crowe.” Evan: “Yes, that is Russell Crowe.”
Kevin Costner as Jonathan Kent.
Antje Traue (Pandorum) as Faora-Ul, Zod’s right-hand woman.
Harry Lennix (Commander Lock in The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions, 6 eps of 24) as General Swanwick.
Richard Schiff (Se7en, Deep Impact, Speed, The Hudsucker Proxy, Ghost In The Machine, 1 ep of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles) as Dr. Emil Hamilton, the scientist.
Christopher Meloni (Chris Keller in Oz, Green Lantern in Green Lantern: First Flight, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, Wet Hot American Summer, Twelve Monkeys, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, Junior, 1 ep of Michael & Michael Have Issues) as Colonel Nathan Hardy.
Ayelet Zurer (Angels & Demons) as Lara Lor-Van.
Laurence Fishburne (The Colony, Morpheus in The Matrix movies, Silver Surfer in Fantastic 4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer, Contagion, Mission Impossible 3, Mystic River, Apocalypse Now) as Perry White.
Dylan Sprayberry (Spaced, 1 ep of MADtv) as Clark Kent (13 Years).
Richard Cetrone (he’s usually a stuntman, but he plays The Headless Horseman in a Sleepy Hollow TV series, a werewolf/merman in The Cabin In The Woods, a lyncan creature in Underworld: Awakening, Hunter Morlock in The Time Machine, CJ in Sucker Punch) as Tor-An.
Mackenzie Gray (The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus, Iron Man: Armored Adventures, 2 eps of Smallville) as Jax-Ur.
Julian Richings (Atticus’s father in Todd And The Book Of Pure Evil, and Satan in the 2003 Todd And The Book Of Pure Evil, Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief, X-Men: The Last Stand, Detroit Rock City, Mimic, Naked Lunch) as Lor-Em.
Mary Black (Mrs. Henderson in Fido, The Wicker Man, ) as Ro-Zar.
Michael Kelly (The Adjustment Bureau, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Unbreakable, 6 eps of The Sopranos) as Steve Lombard.


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The World’s End (2013)

Claire: 5/5 stars, 10/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9.4/10.
Native ratings: 3.8/5 stars Netflix, 7.2/10 IMDB.

The movie is actually the conclusion of the unofficial “Three Flavors Cornetto Trilogy”, which includes Sean Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World’s End.


Achievement Unlocked: Watched a movie where the protaganist wore a Sisters Of Mercy shirt the whole way through!

What’s up with all these new apocalyptic comedies? First Rapture-palooza, then This Is The End, then The World’s End. This is becoming my new favorite genre! The exact same joke is generally funnier if the apocalypse is happening at the same time! It’s like they’ve discovered some untapped secret of humor. (Alright, it’s not really a new discovery, but the spate of these movies this year is really making it feel like that. In truth Mars Attacks and many movies before it know the secret that apocalypse == funny.)

So anyway, the premise of this movie — involving bars and the apocalypse — made us think of Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel, which is indeed the movie most similar to this one out of all movies we’ve ever seen. Only this one has no time travel, and End was quite better than that Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel (which we rated 4/5 stars, 8/10). The World’s End was just as much of a drinking/party movie as FAQATT, yet it managed to be both funnier AND more poignant. It also had a better budget, and a much better cast. A winner is you!

Beyond the premise being fucking awesome, Simon Pegg‘s character really reminds me of myself…if I were an idiot loser. He’s going on 40–like so many characters in movies that resonate with us lately?!?–and he hasn’t stopped partying and having fun. He thinks the others hate him because he’s still free. The others hate him because he’s an annoying idiot. Nonetheless, I’m going on 40 and haven’t stopped partying and having fun. Plenty of people hate me, think I’m annoying, think I’m an idiot (though I’m not). I, too, sometimes drive 20 year old cars, but out of cheapness, not neccesity. Like him, I am not tied down by the kids, and athough I have a nice job like Simon Pegg‘s friends, I’ve also fucked off, not worked, and am irresponsible when compared to my peers, and would do so again with a cavalier attitude most people are too insecure to be able to live with. He yearns for his past full of friendship, friends, fun, and parties, yet is disappointed in how his once-best friends are now too fuddy duddy to bother having fun anymore… And I TOTALLY identify with that. Emotionally a lot of what the main character wanted really resonated with me. In a drinking movie. About the world ending. So there was some minor poingnancy in this that FAQATT lacked. YET IT WAS STILL FUNNY. It could have ended up being one of those “You’re too old to party; grow up and learn your lessons already, and enough of your Peter Pan syndrome!” type movies. But it wans’t. It took what you think it symbolizes and remained loyal to it the entire way through.

And did it with amazing laughs… The entire way through.

We weren’t going to drink that night. We drank a lot. I suggest trying to keep up with this movie, but beware: They are trying to drink a pint of beer in TWELVE DIFFERENT BARS. Unless you can do 12 shots, you might want to consider what cadence you will drink with during this movie.

Because this must be watched while drinking.

You have learned movie watching. Go in peace.

Directed by Edgar Wright (Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Shaun Of The Dead, Spaced, Hot Fuzz, fake trailer segment “Don’t” in Grindhouse, 1 ep of French & Saunders).
Written by Simon Pegg & Edgar Wright (Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Shaun Of The Dead, Spaced, Hot Fuzz).

* People from Spaced:
Simon Pegg as Gary King.
Nick Frost as Andy Knightley.
Julia Deakin (the landlady from Spaced) as the bed & breakfast landlady. So good to see her again!
Michael Smiley (2 eps of Spaced) as Reverend Green.

* Everyone else:
Martin Freeman (Bilbo in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Arthur Dent in The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, Shaun Of The Dead, What’s Your Number?, Hot Fuzz, 14 eps of The Office (UK)) as Oliver Chamberlain.
Paddy Considine (Hot Fuzz, The Bourne Ultimatum) as Steven Prince.
Eddie Marsan (Hancock, V For Vendetta, 21 Grams) as Peter Page.
Rosamund Pike (Wrath Of The Titans) as Sam Chamberlain.
Thomas Law (231 eps of EastEnders) as Young Gary.
Pierce Brosnan (Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief, Mars Attacks!, Shattered) as Guy Shepherd.
David Bradley (Argus Filch in the Harry Potter movies, Captain America: The First Avenger) as Basil.
Jonathan Aris (Sightseers, Gulliver’s Travels) as Group Leader.
Alice Lowe (Hot Fuzz, writer and star of the awful movie Sightseers) as Young Lady.
Rafe Spall (Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz, Life Of Pi) as Young Man.
Steve Oram (Sightseers, 1 ep of NTSF:SD:SUV, 1 ep of The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret) as Motorcycle Policeman.

P.S. More on the trilogy comment… To quote IMDB: “…the characters are seen eating peppermint with chocolate chip ice-cream – as what the Cornetto green wrapper represents. According to Edgar Wright, green represents science fiction and extraterrestrial elements, which is the main motif in the film. For Wright’s other films, Shaun of The Dead, it was red/strawberry flavor, symbolizing blood and zombies; while the second part, Hot Fuzz, it was blue/vanilla symbolizing the police.”

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Freaked (1993)

Clint: 5/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars Netflix, 5.8/10 IMDB.

While trying to decide on a funny movie to watch for a lazy Saturday night, we decided to check out this little gem.  We weren’t expecting too much, as it was clearly a 1980s b-movie. [Yes, I’m going to call it an 80’s movie even though it came out in 1993. Deal.]

But my god, this turned out to be hilarious. It was completely over-the-top and ridiculous — including a lot of completely cheesy jokes that a 6 year old would laugh at — but it kept us laughing THE. ENTIRE. TIME. It’s pretty dense with humor.

Brook Shields. Mr. T in drag. Keanu Reaves as a dog; Bill *AND* Ted, actually. Bobcat Goldthwait. Gibby Haynes. Randy Quad. Morgan Fairchild.

This is from, and inspired from, an era of movies being infatuated with monsterism: The Toxic Avenger, Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, etc etc.  And it’s definitely cut from that same kind of cloth. But it’s not a Troma movie. It’s actually better than that. And it stars some real actors! You wont recognize Keanu Reaves because he’s a dog…But the South Park “Freak Strike” episode also tributes Keanue’s role in this movie.

Anyway, I really don’t know where to start with trying to capture what it was like to watch this movie. You’re shaking your head at how bad some jokes are, then you’re laughing out loud at how funny some jokes are. And sometimes those 2 feelings overlap simultaneously. It’s bad humor done well. Did you like old zany movies like Top Secret or Naked Gun? This movie is like a cross between those and some of the mosterism movies I mentioned early. It utterly and completely exceeded my expectations while still not necessarily matching up exactly with what a modern comedy moviegoer would consider “good”. So: Bonus points for uniqueness.

Did I mention the soundtrack includes multiple Butthole Surfers songs?

This movie apparently enjoys a large cult following to this day; 20 years later, I have now finally joined the Freeks as a fan of this film. I hear Keanu Reaves bought the domain when the fandom accidentally let it expire, in order to quell rumours that he was in this movie (which, according to IMDB, he is). Probably not true, but it’s a funny thought.

Directed by Tom Stern (The Andy Milonakis Show, The Man Show, 4 eps of Saul Of The Mole Men) & Alex Winter (Bill in the Bill & Ted movies, 5 eps of Saul of The Mole Men, 1 ep of Robot Chicken).
Written by Tim Burns (Crank Yankers, 1 ep of Star Wars: The Clone Wars) & Tom Stern (The Andy Milonakis Show, 3 eps of Saul Of The Mole Men) & Alex Winter.

Starring Brooke Shields (Suddenly Susan, The Blue Lagoon, Bag Boy, 7 eps of That ’70s Show, 3 eps of Nip/Tuck, 1 ep Gary The Rat, 1 ep of The Larry Sanders Show) as Skye Daley, the reporter in the framing scenes (most of the movie is a flashback).
Alex Winter as Ricky Coogan.
Keanu Reeves (Ted in the Bill & Ted movies, the Matrix movies, A Scanner Darkly, The Devil’s Advocate, Johnny Mnemonic, Dracula, Speed) as Ortiz the Dog Boy (uncredited).
Michael Stoyanov (The Dark Knight, Gross Anatomy, 2 eps of Working, 1 ep of Married With Children, 1 ep of Quantum Leap) as Ernie.
Megan Ward (362 eps of General Hospital, Joe’s Apartment, Encino Man, 1 ep of Friends, 1 ep of Jesse) as Julie.
Mr. T as The Bearded Lady.
Bobcat Goldthwait as Sockhead as Tourist / Sockhead (voice).
William Sadler (Machete Kills, Onion News Empire, Iron Man 3, The Shawshank Redemption, Bill & Ted‘s Bogus Journey, Die Hard 2) as Dick Brian.
Eduardo Ricard (8 Heads In A Duffel Bag, 2 eps of The Love Boat, 1 ep of Webster, 1 ep of Fantasy Island) as George Ramirez #1.
Henry Carbo as George Ramirez #2.
Deep Roy (Star Trek reboot movies, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, Corpse Bride, Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Big Fish, Dr. Who, The NeverEnding Story, The Dark Crystal, The Pink Panther Strikes Again, 3 eps of Eastbound & Down) as George Ramirez #3.
Mihaly ‘Michu’ Meszaros (ALF in 10 eps of ALF, Big Top Pee-wee) as George Ramirez #3.
Brian Brophy (Armageddon, 1 ep of Max Headroom) as Kevin.
Morgan Fairchild (uncredited in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, 5 eps of Friends, 3 eps of Roseanne, 1 ep of The Angry Beavers, 1 ep of Nip/Tuck, 1 ep of That 70s Show, 1 ep of That 80s Show) as Stewardess.
Alex Zuckerman (The Exorcist III, Hook, Fatal Instinct) as Stuey Gluck.
Randy Quaid (Not Another Teen Movie, Kingpin, Vacation, Christmas Vacation, Vegas Vacation, Independence Day, Brokeback Mountain, 19 eps of Saturday Night Live, 1 ep of The Ren & Stimpy Show) as Elijah C. Skuggs.
Jaime Cardriche (1 ep of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, 1 ep of The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, 1 ep of The Wayans Bros.) as Toad.
Derek McGrath (Mr. Mom, 4 eps of Cheers, 2 eps of Bob & Doug, 2 eps of Newhart, 1 ep of Growing Pains) as Worm.
Jeff Kahn (Tropic Thunder, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Reality Bites, 4 eps of The Ben Stiller Show, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of The Larry Sanders Show) as Nosey. He’s also a writer and producer on Drawn Together, Dilbert & The Ben Stiller Show…
John Hawkes (S. Darko, Wristcutters: A Love Story, Contagion, Rush Hour, 15 eps of Eastbound & Down, 2 eps of 24) as Cowboy.
Lee Arenberg (Pirates Of The Caribbean movies, Dungeons & Dragons, Waterworld, Robocop 3, 2 eps of Seinfeld, 1 ep of Grounded For Life, 1 ep of Friends) as The Eternal Flame.
Patti Tippo (Being John Malkovich, The Iron Giant, Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls, Sid and Nancy, Barb Wire, 1 ep of Titus) as Rosie the Pinhead.
Tim Burns (Crank Yankers, 1 ep of Star Wars: The Clone Wars) as Frogman.
Don Stark (John Carter, Donna’s dad in That 70s Show, 8 eps of Spider-Man-TAS (1990s), 3 eps of Curb Your Enthusiasm) as Editor.
Arturo Gil (Epic Movie, Monkeybone, Saul Of The Mole Men, The Man Show, 2 eps of Just Shoot Me) as Clown.
Tom Stern (3 eps of Saul Of The Mole Men) as Man #2 / Milkman.
Gibby Haynes (Butthole Surfers singer, 1 ep of The Larry Sanders Show, GWAR: Phallus In Wonderland) as Cheese Wart.
Pamela Mant (Leprechaun, 1 ep of Seinfeld) as Nun.
Joe Baker (Dumb & Dumber, Robin Hood: Men In Tights, 2 eps of Highway To Heaven) as Prof. Nigel Crump.
Jon M. Chu (director of G.I. Joe 2) as Giant Stuey Monster.