I'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link]

Watched in 3-D with Carolyn, Nathan, Jess, & Emily.

Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7.4/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7.4/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: Netflix: 4.0/5 stars, IMDB: 7.5/10.

This was the most disappointing movie of both Middle Earth franchises. It started out really good with Smaug… But once the Smaug situation resolved, it just turned into a war movie that wasn’t as exciting. I haven’t felt this bored by ultra-action since watching Sucker Punch — but Sucker Punch is actually a better movie. So much fighting. I think it would have helped if I had remembered the books more, but I purposefully stopped thinking about the books about 16 yrs ago when the first trilogy was announced. I seriously had to get on IMDB and read what the fuck happened, because we were in such a haze by the end of the movie, that we really felt like the award should have gone to us, for making it through it.

It wasn’t bad. It was just… An amusement park ride.


Directed by Peter Jackson (Lord Of The Rings movies, The Hobbit movies, Meet The Feebles, Bad Taste, Dead Alive, The Frighteners).
Written by Fran Walsh (Lord Of The Rings movies, The Hobbit movies, Meet The Feebles, Dead Alive, The Frighteners), Philippa Boyens (The Lord Of The Rings movies, The Hobbit movies), Peter Jackson & Guillermo del Toro (Pacific Rim, Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy movies, Mimic).

Ian McKellen as Gandalf.
Martin Freeman (The World’s End, Arthur Dent in The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, Shaun Of The Dead, What’s Your Number?, Hot Fuzz, 14 eps of The Office (UK)) as Bilbo.
Richard Armitage (Captain America: The First Avenger, uncredited in Star Wars Episode 1) as Thorin.
Ken Stott (The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian) as Balin.
Graham McTavish (Erik The Viking, Pandemic, Mikhail Novakovich in 7 eps of 24, Loki in 5 eps of The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Sebastian Shaw in 4 eps of Wolverine And The X-Men, 1 ep of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2010s)) as Dwalin.
William Kircher (1 ep of Xena: Warrior Princess) as Bifur.
Orlando Bloom (The Lord Of The Rings movies, Pirates Of The Caribbean movies, The Three Musketeers, Troy) as Legolas.
Cate Blanchett (The Lord Of The Rings movies, Hanna, How To Train Your Dragon 2, Ponyo, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, 2 eps of Family Guy) as Galadriel.
Benedict Cumberbatch (Kahn in Star Trek 12, 1 ep of The Simpsons) as Smaug / Necromancer.
Sylvester McCoy (The 7th Doctor in Doctor Who) as Radagast.
Luke Evans (Immortals 3D, The Three Musketeers, Clash Of The Titans remake, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Bard.
Billy Connolly (Fido, The Boondock Saints 1-2, Gulliver’s Travels, Indecent Proposal, Lemony Snicket’s, 1 ep of Third Rock From The Sun) as Dain.
James Nesbitt (The Hobbit movies) as Bofur.
Stephen Hunter (The Hobbit movies) as Bombur.
Dean O’Gorman (Young Hercules, 5 eps of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, 2 eps of ) as Fili.
Aidan Turner (The Hobbit movies) as Kili.
Hugo Weaving (Lord Of The Rings movies, Cloud Atlas, Red Skull in Captain America: The First Avenger, Megatron in the Transformers movies, V For Vendetta, The Matrix movies) as Elrond
John Callen (The Hobbit movies) as Oin.
Peter Hambleton (The Hobbit movies) as Gloin.
Jed Brophy (Lord Of The Rings movies, District 9, 1 ep of Xena: Warrior Princess) as Nori.
Mark Hadlow (Meet The Feebles, 1 ep of Xena: Warrior Princess) as Dori.
Evangeline Lilly (Ant-Man, The Hobbit movies, The Hurt Locker, Lost, The Long Weekend, 4 eps of Smallville) as Tauriel.
Lee Pace (Guardians Of The Galaxy, The Hobbit movies, Twilight: Breaking Dawn part 2, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Thranduil.
Christopher Lee (Saruman in the Lord Of The Rings movies, Death in The Color Of Magic, The Golden Compass, Count Dooku in Star Wars Episode 2 and Star Wars: The Clone Wars pilot movie, Alice In Wonderland, Corpse Bride, Sleepy Hollow, Gremlins 2, Police Academy 7) as Saruman.
Ian Holm (Lord Of The Rings movies, Brazil, The Day After Tomorrow, From Hell, Ratatouille, eXistenZ, The Fifth Element, Naked Lunch, Alien) as Old Bilbo.Mood: bad
Music: BabyMetal – Akatsuki aka Crimson Moon