Work comedy


It has come to my attention that I like font humor.  I already coined “seriffic” and “sans-seriffic”.  And now I just commented, “Isn’t Silent Lucidia a Queensryche song?”  I also stole Angel‘s comic sans serif joke… “Comic sans serif walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘We don’t serve your type here.'”   That sent the girls out of my office.

So last Thursday, my contractor (Dan Lopez of Virginia Design Builders, who lives in Laurel, MD) called me and asked for me to return his call.  I thought we were done.  But after a few minutes, I called him back, wanting to find out what the deal was this time.  His tone and demeanor seemed to have changed from previous times we’ve dealt with him.  He practically apologized for the way the whole thing went down.  He may have even said the word “sorry” in the context of a larger sentence.  (I think I replied that I was sorry things turned out the way they were — which is really a non-apology, because none of this was my fault.)    More: (more…)

DEMOTIVATIONAL POSTER: Government Contracting – It’s easy to stay afloat when you’re swimming in a sea of mediocrity., originally uploaded by ClintJCL.

I have to admit that I “stole” the photo. I write the caption first, in my head, then looked for a fitting image. I searched for “fish”, “swim”, “float”, “mediocrity”, and somehow wound up with the amputee kid…. I think it works VERY well.

I was at this pointless meeting where people were very confused about what was happening during what year.  All the confusion centered around the fact that the fiscal year, in the U.S. at least, is October 1st to September 30th.  “But it’s not 2007 yet.”  “But it will be FY 2007 in October so we need to think about 2007 as “next” year.
Just a lot of painful confusion.
So I decided to reduce confusion, we need fiscal months. 
FM (fiscal month) 1 would correspond to our October.
FM (fiscal month) 2 would correspond to our November.
etc.
It was a boring meeting that had nothing to do with me directly, so I came up with them on the spot:
  1. Jackuary
  2. Federalary
  3. Farch           (inspired by ‘farce’)
  4. Anlil             (inspired by ‘anal’)
  5. Pay
  6. Jewne
  7. Juliar
  8. Ughrust
  9. Sepmember
  10. Octoburn
  11. Neverender
  12. Distemper
I think we should all switch to the new system immediately.
Have fun on Halloween. 
‘Jackuary’ was inspired by jackoffs but this time it can mean jackolanterns as well.