VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Imaginaerum (2012)

Clio & Carolyn: 2.8/5 stars, 6.4/10.
Native ratings: 5.7/10 IMDB. Not available on Netflix.

This will be the 2nd time we watch a movie based on a concept album we’ve never listened to, performed by a band we’ve never listened to. The last one was Marillion:Brave, by Richard Stanley, director of the movie Hardware (1990). This one is based on an album by the Finnish metal band, NightWish. We mostly watched it for the visuals, which were pretty cool, but we were not as impressed as we were hoping.

The story was a bit lacking. The sound mix was surprisingly bad (though that is a distribution problem). It was overly-dramatic and kind of full of itself. But of course, it’s a video for an album, and music videos are sorta-kinda SUPPOSED to be like that — all grandiose and shit. So I might be faulting the genre for its own self-definition here. It also got a lot less exciting (and a lot more depressing) near the end. The acting wasn’t the greatest, but this also wasn’t a movie with very much acting in it.

In the end, this was style over substance. Some pretty awesome visuals. Definitely a great movie to watch — not as great to listen to, or think about. But visually, it was an 8/10.

Directed by: Stobe Harju (who directed Nightwish’s “The Islander” music video).
Written by: Stobe Harju & Mikko Rautalahti (Alan Wake video game), and Richard Jackson.
Story written by Tuomas Holopainen (Nightwish songwriter and band member) & Stobe Harju.

Starring Marianne Farley (Undressed, 2001: A Space Travesty, 6 eps of Vampire High) as Gem Whitman.
Quinn Lord (young boy in The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus–is he now typecast to only be in movies with Imaginae?rium in their title?, 2 eps of Smallville) as Tom Whitman – age 10.
Tuomas Holopainen (Nightwish song writer and band member) as Tom Whitman – age 47.
Francis X. McCarthy (BASEketball, 7 eps of Melrose Place, 4 eps of the original 21 Jump Street, Alien Nation, 2 eps of The Greatest American Hero, 1 ep of Smallville, 1 ep of Cheers, 1 ep of ALF, 1 ep of The A-Team, 1 ep of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose) as Tom Whitman – age 70.
Joanna Noyes (Grandma Thora Read in Arthur) as Ann – age 73.
Anette Olzon (Nightwish band member) as Ann.


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (2011) (TV) (SyFy) (The Asylum)

Clio: 2.2/5 stars, 3.6/10.
Carolyn: 1.6/5 stars, 2/10.
Native ratings: 2.7/5 stars Netflix, 3.1/10 IMDB.

WHO THE FUCK CAN RESIST A MOVIE STARRING BOTH DEBBIE GIBSON *AND* TIFFANY? (Also, Micky Dolenz of The Monkees is in this briefly.)

Carolyn was feeling kind of sick, so we didn’t want to waste a good movie on sickness. Thus, we finally had a chance to watch another movie by The Asylum — a company that makes deliberately bad movies. Often mockbusters, but sometimes “original” ideas like this one. Now add the fact that it’s a SyFy original movie just to make the endeavor that much more awful.

But with the cast of these two has-been (but well-respected by me) pop stars at the helm, how could I fucking resist? HOW COULD I? I’d be doing a grave disservice to 16-year-old me. Y’know, I STILL have two copies of the Tiffany cassette because I couldn’t figure out which print had the shade of red that I liked better as her hair color. And I still have the 7″ single to Only In My Dreams by Debbie Gibson.

I have no shame.

Carolyn: “That movie was terrible. I don’t think it had any redeeming qualities. Except for the boobs. Those boobs were really good, but not enough to save that trainwreck of a movie.”

And how! This movie had some of the best boobs ever. Sure, they aren’t naked. But they are boobs people have lusted after for 20 years. Pop-singer Tiffany has gained a few pounds since her Playboy shoot in 2005 (conveniently found at )…. And you know what? It doesn’t look bad! She’s basically Christina Hendricks, but sultry.

Whereas Tiffany has the sultry, refined look of an older woman….Debbie Gibson has retained her youthful looks a bit more — or at least disguised herself as such. She still has the figure of a [boobless] 18-year-old, thanks to being stick-thin anorexic looking. Upon initial purview I thought she was the hotter one, but after staring at Tiffany’s tiffanies the whole movie, I realized I was wrong. Sultry beats cutesey in this instance!

So yes. This movie was awfully bad. Bad writing. Plot issues that didn’t make sense. Bad acting. Bad CGI. Bad sets. Bad dialog. But GODDAMN, YOU GET TO SEE TIFFANY AND DEBBIE GIBSON IN A CAT FIGHT. The money shot is Debbie Gibson covernig Tiffany’s tits in whipped cream during a catfight scene. Did I spoil it for you? Good, becuase that’s really the only reason to watch this movie, so you may as well know.

Things get really over the top in the 3rd act… So much so that I was laughing hysterically. Sometimes you gotta enjoy a bad movie, and I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t hate this. I didn’t like it either… But I edged towards liking it. Sick, guilty pleasure.

Thank you Syfy.

BTW, the young cop was in American Pie: The Book Of Love. And this was directed by the director of Pet Semetary, and the writer of #1 Cheerleader Camp (which was itself a mockbuster for Fired Up).


VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Rock ‘n’ Roll High School (1979)

Clint: 4/5 stars, 7.4/10.
Carolyn: 3.6/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.8/5 stars (Netflix guessed 4.1 for us), 6.7/10.

An exception to our usual focus on modern offerings.

This movie had funny moments, and the Ramones were fun.  It was very much what people would think of as a stereotypical 1980’s highschool/teen-comedy movie. Except it had The Ramones in it, which is something few other movies can boast.

Most of the main characters in this movie still have acting careers today, which is a change compared to most b-movies. As for the “Riff Vs. Kate” debate, It’s almost a tie. Riff’s clavicle is the tiebreaker. I want to see cleavage, not Skeletor. Kate wins.

Interesting that CBS censors mentions of DDT in Teenage Lobotomy when this movie airs on TV, but cocaine and swastikas are just fine. Can’t mess with Monansanto!

And how the fuck are they remaking this? I guess this movie could be remade for every band out there that has a fandom, but it’s never going to be something as seminal as the fucking RAMONES!

It will probably still be better than the sequel I just found out about – Rock ‘N’ Roll High School Forever (1992) – staring Corey Feldman (feat Mojo Nixon). Or the 2nd sequel, Shake, Rattle and Rock! (1994), starring Renee Zellweger and Howie Mandel (feat Paul Anka). God help us all.

At least the 3rd one has some of the original characters and actors from the first one (including P.J. Soles).

Still though — good times!


I was so annoyed that this album became popular RIGHT after I started listening to it. I actually had a copy before they ever had a video on MTV. Then they became super-mainstream.

Still, this is my favorite Alice In Chains album – and frankly, the only one I think is truly worth owning and KNOWING.

Without further adieu, here is a listing of the songs in the Alice In Chains album “Facelift”, in order from best to worst. Yes… This probably took me 40 minutes to evaluate and verify! Sweet love my labor…


01_We Die Young [JtC’s #2]
04_Bleed The Freak
06_Love, Hate, Love
02_Man In The Box
07_It Ain’t Like That [JtC’s #3]
03_Sea Of Sorrow [Parthena’s favorite]
12_Real Thing [they should’ve fleshed out the structure more]
05_I Can’t Remember [possibly the best bridge on the album, though]
09_Put You Down
11_I Know Somethin’ (Bout You)
08_Sunshine [JtC’s #1]

I will accept other submissions of other peoples’ rankings, but you MUST *actually* evaluate all the songs. That means comparing one song to the song next to it, bumping it up one, and doing it again and and again until everything is sorted. This is very similar to a bubble sort.

Here is the full album on youtube:

Dreamed I listened to Sean E’s radio show and he played some awesome punk band.

I immediately tuned out, listened to more of it on Pandora, really really liked it, and then immediately went to bittorrent and downloaded their complete discography.

I listened to it and really loved this punk band.

Then the next day at work (still in my dream), I told Sean about it.

This dream was a bit odd because this dream was on the same night as his radio show in real life, and he’s my co-worker in real life, and I really did tell him about the dream in real life afterward… So this practically could have really happened.

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

MUSIC: Ween breaks up – Stereogum


But can’t say I didn’t see this coming – it’s been longer since a proper Ween release than at any point in their 25 year career.

I’m glad I got to see them live 7 times (10 of you count Gene Ween band and Gene Ween solo shows).

It looks like of my 3 favorite bands even (The Misfits, Atari Teenage Riot, Ween) — there is still 1 left: Atari Teenage Riot who recently reformed. (No, the new Misfits don’t count.)

This is the saddest music news since the death of Type O Negative singer Peter Steele.


MUSIC: little kids cover “Sonne” by Rammstein

…And apparently a lot of other Rammstein songs too. That little drummer girl looks too young to comprehend rhythm, but then she switches to a harp at the end of Sonne? And the singer-guitarist also plays the violin?  This is the best child music performance since that Metallica cover band with the 8 year old lead guitarist girl!


MUSIC VIDEO: MC Chris – Discord

Yet another unexpected “collaboration” – MC Chris has released a song all about My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic.  Fear the Brony movement!


JOURNAL: PARTY: Local Experts Can’t Agree On Whether Styx Sucks Worse Than Rush

John The Canadien’s blogpost about our Saturday hangout/partying experience.


TAGS: personal, journal, hangingout, parties, people, Clint, Carolyn, JohnTheCanadien, MarkI, AutumnS, ChablisO, SeanR, media, audio, music, bands, Rush, Styx, Voivod, songs, Mr.Roboto, Genesis, video, TV, shows, TheClevelandShow, FamilyGuy

JOURNAL/REVIEWS: HANGING OUT: House of MagicMist Passes Referendum Banning Talk of Shia LaBeouf and DubStep

John The Canadien’s blogpost about hanging out with me & Carolyn & Mark I on Friday night, wherein we watched 2-3 hrs of TV (episodes reviewed within).


TAGS: personal, journal, hangingOut, JohnTheCanadien, blog, posts, MarkI, Carolyn, Clint, media, video, TV, shows, reviews, cartoons, music, audio, dubstep, ShiaLaBeouf, MarilynManson, NinjaGaiden, D.R.I., ChemLab, NickCave, TheBirthdayParty, Unsupervised, Frankenhole, CartoonNetwork, FX,

I created a command, “after month”, that would edit a text file; I then created calendar reminders to remind me to edit that every month. The result is that I now can look back in my life and have a textual sense of what each month was like. Pictures are great, but there are lapses in pictures, and I shall be keeping text summaries as well from now on. Also included will be my graphs of music I listened to, because all text is kind of boring. (more…)

To the best of Carolyn & my ability, these are the most complete lyrics for this song to appear on the whole Internet….We started with the only post on the Internet about finding the lyrics, which is HERE. That message board isn’t allowing new signups, either, so if someone’s gotta take this topic over, it’s gonna be me.

For Star Control 2 fans, this is a song that used the Melnorme theme as the basis, but is about alcoholic robots (much like Bender from Futurama.)

Here’s the original Melnorme music:

No clue if this link is authorized or not, but everyone seems to have this song already. But if you can’t find it, it seems to be here on FilePlanet.

What is the matter?
My circuits are fried!
Servos malfunctioned,
I am scrambled inside!
Too much memory to process those bits
I know it’s happening in potato juice
We make Potato Juice
We make Potato Juice
We make Potato Juice
We make Potato Juice
and you’re soaking in it

Robots are jumping,
maybe? ’cause they’re young? (drunk?)
I’m getting dizzy, and hearing strange sounds
My wheels are clogged
There might be some dents
I ran into a wall and got up again
We make Potato Juice
We make Potato Juice
We make Potato Juice
We make Potato Juice
and you’re soaking in it

We’re wacky robots
We go to a pub
Refuel for culture?
and throw away the mug
When we go riding down the street late at night
You better watch it if you get in our way
We are Potato Juice
We are Potato Juice
We are Potato Juice
We are Potato Juice
and you’re soaking in it

If you’re organic, then we think you are scum
We hope you’re ready for anhilation!
If we were able to, we’d kill you right now!
But on potato juice, we just don’t know how!
We are Potato Juice
We are Potato Juice
We are Potato Juice
We are Potato Juice
and you’re soaking in it


Okay Internet… You are now complete again. (more…)

Someday I’d like to expound on this more…

As part of the loudness wars, they are compressing the dynamics of music more and more.

So we have music that’s at an average level of 90% with a 98% peak vs music that’s at an average level of 50% with a 75% peak. (more…)

So, I actually remixed a song. Or, rather, a segment of a song.

Fellow SubGenius Orpheus Stain had the idea of doing an Exquisite Corpse audio project — breaking up a long track into 5 parts, and having different people remix each part. I, uh, appropriated samples from The Simps0ns (mainly Lisa tripping, and Marge talking about LSD), Doom (the game), The Three Stooges, and even the Moon8 album (Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon re-done as 8-bit Nintendo music).

Most selections were based on my WAV file collection from the early 1990s… I’m too lazy to actually decide on a sample and then find it; rather I look at what I have and incorporate random things. I’d never done anything like this, and learned how to use the program Mixcraft after determining that CoolEdit wasn’t quite powerful enough for this specific situation.

Anwyay, here’s the original blurb from Orpheus Stain, Ministry Of Slack:

While putting together AlcheMinistry Labs episode 23 : The Chaos! : I came across a track called “JD lives on” from The John Dillinger died for you society on It was a semi-repetitve 7+ minute long piece, but far too predictable to go onto a podcast in honour of Eris Discrodia! I realized, cutting it into 5 pieces and handing them out to anyone who wanted a slice could indeed make it much more chaotic. “JD lives on” is now “John dilinger died for you and is still alive!”.

  1. Orpheus Stain – 23 Skidoo : instrumental.
  2. Pontifex Soddi -John Dillinger is processed.
  3. UUAR UUZARE – Shot down in his tracks.
  4. Clint — i.e. ME!! — aka Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos – John Dillinger is still alive.
  5. Orpheus Stain – Dillinger beat the shit out of those motherfucking Illuminati cocksuckers.
    You can download the mp3 here: A better filename than the default download filename would be “Orpheus Stain, Pontifex Soddi, Erazuu, Clint aka Xanatos – John Dillinger Died For You And Is Still Alive!.mp3”

    You can tell where my part begins: The first sample from The Simps0ns.

    This message is brought to you by The John Dillinger died for you and is still alive Society. (more…)


The full 3-minute version of the Mr. Belvedere theme, by Gary Portnoy are absolutely nowhere to be found on the internet! So I’m posting them myself. If this is some kind of copyright violation, please let me know via the comment section rather than contacting my host, but frankly you should enjoy the free advertising:

Purchase a non-DRM mp3 of the full 3 minute Mr. Belvedere song, as originally sung by Gary Portnoy (best known for writing and singing the Cheers and Punky Brewster themes), for 99 cents at

This song is still stuck in many peoples’ heads, apparently.

Now, enjoy the theme as sun by Stewie of Family Guy:

Here’s another goofy cover:

Yes… There’s still a lot of people obsessed with this song!

Then things get REALLY weird, I mean, why does something like this exist?

And if you’re curious what the instrumental closing-theme version of the original theme sounded like, just fast forward to the 8 minute mark in this video:

Anyway, here are the lyrics…

20100503 – Netherlands – Amsterdam, Paradiso
20100505 – CH-Geneva, PTR-Usine
20100507 – France – Limoges, CC………M John Lennon
20100508 – France – Rennes, Antipode
20100509 – France – Tourcoing, Le Grand Mix
20100512 – GB-London, Electric Ballroom
20100514 – Italy – Parma, Circolo Onirica
20100515 – Italy – Roma, Init
20100521 – Hauzenberg bei Passau, 29. Pfingst Open Air NEW!!!
20100716 – B-Dour, Dour Festival
20100717 – FR-Montmartin Sur Mer, Chauffer Dans La Noirceur
20100910 – Berlin, Berlin Festival

Oh who am I kidding? If I go somewhere, it’s going to be Amsterdam.

BTW, these are Atari Teenage Riot reunion tour dates. They’re probably not doing it again, and this is the only time in 10 yrs that they’ve played. (more…)

Two minutes devoted to those who don’t have jobs: Don’t feel bad about it.

Also, we went to Freezepop last night. Man, the Velvet Lounge is the worst venue ever. But at least the show was good. They have their QY70 again; there’s a new member named Christmas, who’s so friggin’ cute it’s ridiculous–it was her first tour night ever, in her life.; Sean P. Drinkwater walked into the crowd with his keytar, and made Carolyn hit a couple keys on it (then she recoiled); They played 3 new songs I’d never heard; Liz Enthusiasm was sick, and messed up a verse during one of the songs [but I don’t fault her for it], Sean P. Drinkwater was playing with his new keytar, annoying the hell out of Liz, Even their old songs sounded better, as they seemed to have more complex arrangements: It was almost like hearing a new song. Among the songs they played that I recognized were Bike Thief, Super Sprode, Science Genius Girl, Plastic Stars, Stakeout, Brainpower, Less Talk More Rokk, Get Ready 2 Rokk, and closing with some Christmas song.

The best Freezepop concert was still their AnimeUSA show, where they had huge screens showing the band playing, and played to a room easily filled with 1000 or more people. Then they played at Chief Ike’s, which I called the “smallest venue ever”. But Velvet Lounge is even smaller than that! If they come back to AnimeUSA, I’m definitely going to see them there again, it was way more kick-ass than the other 2 tiny venues!

To see every concert I’ve ever been to, go to my List Of All Concerts page.

Also, check out my songkick profile, which is a site devoted to cataloging what concerts one has gone to. (more…)

“we could wander in the garden of Eden baby
we could do anything tonight, maybe
we could even touch the sky
if we just get up on our feet and try
we could wander in the garden of Eden baby”

I like how it’s a reference to In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida… [Iron Butterfly’s singer was so intoxicated at the recording session that he was supposed to say “in the garden of eden”, but all anyone could hear was In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.]

Oh look.. there’s a video!

This song comes from Tiamat‘s post-death metal, post-black metal, Gothic rock, Sisters Of Mercy-sounding phase. From one of my 2 or 3 favorite Tiamat albums. (more…)

John The Canadien’s review really sums it up (he went with us). But this was an epic concert for me!

This was my 81st concert.

The 4th and 5th full albums I’ve ever seen performed live.
(The last two were also 20th Anniversary Tours! Pixies:Doolittle and They Might Be Giants:Flood.)

The 2nd time I’ve seen Testament (first time was 20 years ago).
The 1st time I’ve seen Megadeth, despite being a fan since 1988.

1991ish - Clint's room - metal clippings, guitar pick - 0471
^ Megadeth and Testament magazine clippings on my bedroom wall, parents’ house, 1991ish.

The 3rd concert that’s actually had TWO bands I REALLY care about play [others were Jane’s Addiction/Nine Inch Nails, and Celtic Frost/Type O Negative].

The 8th and 9th Guitar Hero songs that I’ve seen live after playing ’em in Guitar Hero. (Peace Sells, Symphony Of Destruction). :)

…And my 3rd Megadeth shirt :)

Megadeth was one of my first 2 metal bands (not counting Guns N’ Roses), though my friends had, at the time, tricked me and told me the Megadeth side of the cassette was Metallica, and vice-versa. But the deception only lasted a week or so, back in late 1988.

Carolyn wore the Megadeth shirt that I bought in 1988 / 8th grade, one of my Original Four Black T-Shirts [Megadeth, Metallica, Guns N’ Roses, Anthrax]. I wore a newer Megadeth shirt that Carolyn’s brother Jay (or one of his friends) gave to me in the late 1990s.

2000ish - Carolyn, Clint - front yard - 20 - we has mail
^ 20 year old Testament concert shirt that I could not find in time for the concert

I was actually more excited about Testament than Megadeth. I think The Legacy (1987) is a better album than Rust In Peace. The music isn’t as complex and well-written, but the songs just strike home a bit better than the Megadeth ones. Regardless, these are 2 albums I’d love to see live… and Megadeth played some of their best songs from other albums. Wake Up Dead, Peace Sells, and Set The World Afire are among some of my all-time favorite Megadeth songs. And In My Darkest Hour and Symphony Of Destruction are pretty damn good too.

As for Testament — Chuck Billy plays mean air guitar on his mic stand! I thought I was looking at someone playing a guitar, and then oops! It’s a mic stand! Haha. Too bad that Alex Skolnick is busy touring with the Alex Skolnick Trio… He’s tied with Randy Rhoades for my favorite guitarist, and the replacement guitarist just wasn’t as good. I couldn’t tell during the show, but I could tell watching the below video of Over The Wall on Youtube. He simply didn’t do Skolnick’s solos right. But the mix was bad enough at 9:30 Club that I at least couldn’t tell while I was there.

And I moshed for the first time in ages!!!!!!

Shirtless, sweaty, drunken moshing during the closing climax of “Peace Sells”. My shirt came off at the beginnign of Megadeth, haha. Kind of out of character for me, but as I get older, my cold-bloodedness and lack of any thermal regulation is really getting to me. Surprisingly, I survived the pit intact. Had a stitch in my stomach afterward, but am glad to report no mosh-related soreness the next day. I did, however, have considerable headbanging-related soreness the next day.

Amazing show! This was one of the best concerts in my life!!

Afterward, John & I bought some $10 “bootleg” tour t-shirts, which basically seemed to be official shirts that had the tag cut in half. Maybe they were misprints? Well, doesn’t that increase the collector value? There’s simply no way I’m paying $35 for a t-shirt. Ever. $20 was pushing it. $15 is a sure thing. But $10? I’m in!

And as we drove back, I shouted out “Polaris” and “Next thing you know, they’ll take my thoughts away!” at many random D.C. pedestrians. Goddamn. Great night. Then Carolyn, John The Canadien, and I went to 7-11, got taquitos, came home, watched the newest episodes of Kids In The Hall:Death Comes To Town and Family Guy. John fell asleep, so Carolyn opted to watch Nip/Tuck, staying up to a record late time of 3AM. She wakes up at 7:30AM, yet chose this fate. Of course, a nap was promised the next day. And John had the day off. And I didn’t exactly recover gracefully either. GOOD TIMES!

^ Testament: Over The Wall (live)

^ Megadeth: In My Darkest Hour [ending only]

Not a lot of pictures of this concert seem to exist online, but there are some that start on this page. They are only 500px in resolution, however.

The setlist for this concert is posted HERE.

To see every concert I’ve ever been to, go to my List Of All Concerts page.

Also, check out my songkick profile, which is a site devoted to cataloging what concerts one has gone to. (more…)

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