Ian B


//www.acm.vt.edu/~clint/download/imagedump/jesus1.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.[originally posted 3/25/2008] Because I am outspoken, have a powerful web presence, and have unpopular and unapologetic opinions, I tend to attract trolls from time to time. For example, the guy who argued that we must protest South Parkbefore the series even came out. Honestly, I might be the actual troll here, as I deliberately put some stuff up to bait people into leaving responses, which is the definition of trolling. But that definition usually applies to neutral forums, not to posting to your own forum. So I’ll go ahead and call the people who attack me on my own spaces “trolls”, in the “I’m rubber you’re glue” spirit.

This is in response to my “What Would Jesus Smoke?” blogposts HERE, as well as my What Would Jesus Smoke (and other Jesus) Flickr images HERE.

These pictures draw “Christian soldiers” from all over the place, causing them to hurl entertaining vitriol in my direction. I fucking love it.

I always thought “Ye who has not sinned should cast the first stone”, but hey, Christians don’t seem to know much about being Christ-like, just like Muslims don’t seem to know much about being Mohammad-like. (And if they did, they would all have 6-year-old wives like Mohammad.) My uncle Sean has already published, analyzed, and commented on this letter, and there are already a few comments over there on his blog. He is more calm and collected, and can say how I feel better than I can. :)

Anyway, this gets ugly. Very ugly. Read on to see the love God puts in all Christians’ hearts. (That was sarcasm.) (more…)

Dear Babyboomers: The National Debt is a Grandchild Tax. Thanks for less than nothing!  Ryan Somma has captured exactly how I feel once again, with his sarcastic congratulatory letter to babyboomers are are about to retire. So long, and thanks for all the fish debt! My dad predictably quipped “Every generation thinks the last screwed up the world for him”. Of course, he grew up during the 1950s — the most prosperous generation in American history. And inherited ~$1M from his parents. So… It’s quite easy for anyone to cynically quip “every generation had it this bad” while sitting atop an ivory tower. As Ian so profoundly said: “Not caring — the privilege of the rich.”

    And: Remember when Iran’s president said they have no gays in Iran? Perhaps this explains why people get free sex changes in Iran. “in traditional societies there is more pressure to conform to standard gender roles”. Odd indeed. And in some ways, more progressive than America. In other ways, it’s ass-backwards, because you can’t be both gay and have a dick. But on the other hand, hey: Free surgery. (I’m thinking of “Deep Thoughts” where Jack Handy says “Hey, free dummy!”) And, they let people be who they want to be without standing in the way with such excuses as, say, money. In many ways, that is superior to how America handles it (only the rich get what they want). Of course, Iran is a sucky shithole of a country, but still.

    Heavy cell phone use tied to poorer sperm quality. Of course, correlation is not causation. However, it’s also good to be cautious. Me? I will now be buying a cellphone just to put it into my pants as birth control.

    I’ve never burped and had it taste like burnt plastic before. WTF?!?!?!

    In possibly-related news, Carolyn cooked a new meal tonight, “scalloped tomatoes”. It was the best vegetarian meal I’ve ever eaten. We were both completely stuffed with only 400 calories. Of course we were both hungry again in 4 hrs, but that’s usual for me.

    And, even less related: that new “Sunflower” vegetarian restaurant on Route 7? Teh suck! There’s sooooo many vegetarian meals I could have enjoyed, but they managed to screw every menu item up….There was nothing good. I stared at the menu for 20 minutes, made my best guess, and could barely get it down. I tried others’ meals, and every one was completely unpleasant. They even made noodles with tomato sauce that had something crunchy and disgusting in them — I didn’t know you could screw up noodles, but apparently if you pay, you can get a cook skilled enough to do so. Crunchy noodles? Okay, I admit it: I’m anti-crunch most of the time. The *company* was great (shoutout to Meagan/Glen/Angel/Ian/Lauren/Ryan) but I wont be convinced to return. Ever. They hardly had any foods that used my favorite veggies: tomatoes and cucumbers. Everything was mushrooms or other weird veggies I’ve never heard of. How about a standard Ceasar Salad? Is that so hard? Ugh. Carolyn’s scalloped tomatoes were 10X better than anything Sunflower had to offer. Sunflower should totally serve this recipe.

    And yes, I originally just wanted to post about my burp, but it unexpectedly turned into a rant when I realized the burp came from vegetarian food that was far better than that I’ve paid for. Time to edit my subject line! Sunday for my birthday I’m checking out Rio Grande with my family — should be good. I love Mexican food (yes, it’s Mexican, not Peruvian or Salvadorian) more than any other ‘genre’.

    Nice to know I match Carolyn the most — as usual. (OKCupid has verified this too…)


    Add us as a netflix friend by sending a frend request to “clintandcarolyn at acm d0t vt d0t edu”….

    It’s always a good times! Ian’s re-cap. Ian’s photos. Angel’s photos. Casey’s photos. Christian’s photos. Our photos. Vicky’s photos. Read on for my recount. Also, check out the journal everyone wrote in (PDF Warning). (more…)

      And some inappropriate humor too.  And of course some daily Abuse Of Authority. (more…)

      After working 12 days straight, I partied hard this weekend. Normally I might get two hangovers in a year, but this time I got two in a weekend. Special thanks to Angel for throwing the party; her blog post about it is here. Pictures will eventually be posted HERE, among other places.