Clint: 3.4/5 stars, 7.2/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 7.6/10.
Native: 4.2/5 stars, 7.4/10.

Good–but not as good as the other Pixar/etc current-day animated movies.

We don’t face huge evil threats like in How I Trained My Dragon, we don’t face anything as ridiculously creative as Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, and we don’t face anything as emotionally poingnant as Up.

But it’s still good. Just not great. It was perhaps a tad cliche.


I'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link]

Clint: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3.7/5 stars. IMDB: 7.3/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: Netflix: N/A/5 stars, IMDB: 6.5/10.

CLINT’S THOUGHTS: They made it out like it’s going to be a baby movie — lowering your expectations — and then it turned out to be a civil rights movie, raising the bar! Good move. Betray my expectations. Good move. Amanda Seyfried is dreamy. Making it about civil rights actually brought up politically relevant points.

CAROLYN’S THOUGHTS: It’s on par with the other Seth MacFarlane stuff. More jokes that are similar to those in Family Guy.


Directed by Seth MacFarlane (A Million Ways To Die In The West, 1 ep of American Dad (the unaired pilot), American Dad: The New CIA, Family Guy: Back To The Multiverse).
Written by Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show, A Million Ways To Die In The West, 26 eps of Dexter’s Lab, 21 eps of Johnny Bravo, Cavalcade Of Cartoon Comedy), Alec Sulkin (Family Guy, A Million Ways To Die In The West, 51 eps of The Late Late Show With Craig Kilborn) & Wellesley Wild (A Million Ways To Die In The West, 13 eps of Family Guy, 51 eps of The Late Late Show With Craig Kilborn).

Mark Wahlberg (The Other Guys, Date Night, The Happening, I Heart Huckabees, Planet Of The Apes, Transformers 4, The Big Hit) as John.
Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show, A Million Ways To Die In The West, Futurama: Into The Wild Green Yonder, Robot Chicken, Movie 43, Hellboy 2, Cavalcade Of Cartoon Comedy, 1 ep of Aqua Teen) as Ted.
Amanda Seyfried (Mean Girls, Jennifer’s Body, A Million Ways To Die In The West, 1 ep of American Dad) as Samantha. It looks like she’s also going to be in the upcoming Twin Peaks.
Jessica Barth (3 eps of Family Guy) as Tami-Lynn.
Giovanni Ribisi (Phoebe’s brother Frank in Friends, A Million Ways To Die In The West, Avatar, Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow, Saving Private Ryan, Lost In Translation, The Postman, 15 eps of The Wonder Years, 1 ep of Family Guy) as Donny.
Morgan Freeman as Patrick Meighan.
Patrick Warburton (Seinfeld, The Tick, Family Guy, The Venture Bros., Bad Milo, Movie 43, Men In Black 2, Game Over, Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command, 5 eps of News Radio, 3 eps of Archer) as Guy.
Michael Dorn (Worf from Star Trek:TNG, I.\M. Weasel in Cow & Chicken, Coldstone in Gargoyles, Superman Batman: Public Enemies, 3 eps of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-TAS (2010s), 2 eps of The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy, 1 ep of Adventure Time, 1 ep of Punky Brewster) as Rick.
Bill Smitrovich (Iron Man, Independence Day, Splash, 2 eps of Batman Beyond, 1 ep of 24, 1 ep of God The Devil & Bob) as Frank.
John Slattery (Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp, Iron Man 2, Sleepers, Traffic, 4 eps of The Cleveland Show, 3 eps of Arrested Development) as Shep Wild.
John Carroll Lynch (Eastman in The Walking Dead, Paul, Crazy Stupid Love, Gothika, Fargo, Shutter Island, Gran Torino, 12 eps of Carnivale) as Tom Jessup.
Ron Canada (Wedding Crashers, 4 eps of Weeds, 1 ep of Frasier) as Judge.
Liam Neeson (Zeus from Clash Of The Titans 2010, Batman Begins, Aslan from the new Chronicles Of Narnia movies, Qui-Gon Jinn from the Star Wars prequel trilogy, Schindler from Schindler’s List, A Million Ways To Die In The West, The A-Team, The Lego Movie, Ra’s Al Ghul in The Dark Knight Rises, Ponyo, 1 ep of The Simpsons) as Customer.
Dennis Haysbert (President Palmer in 24, Sin City 2, Wreck-It Ralph, Kung Fu Panda 2, Major League movies, Cornfed’s singing voice in Duckman, 3 eps of Justice League, 1 ep of Axe Cop, 1 ep of Newsreaders, 1 ep of The Boondocks) as Fertility Doctor.
Patrick Stewart as Narrator. (more…)


4.4/5 stars, 8/10 from both of us.
Native Rating: 4.2/5 stars Netflix, 7.4/10 IMDB.

It’s pretty hard for Seth MacFarlane to do wrong. It’s about time he got a full movie out of his efforts.

This was funny, as well as unique and touching and relevant for the holidays.

I would have perhaps liked it a bit more if it was more risque, but I think I’m just desensitized from all the fucked up shit I watched. Apparently people had issues with things like 911 jokes and cocaine use.

Anyway…. I had a teddy bear when I was little… Though I never wished for him to be real, using such an childhood archtype was a really good device for driving the movie.

This had a lot of fun aspects. Good times.


 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: Factory worker Doug Quaid suspects that he may actually be a spy whose memory has been wiped clean.

BACKWARD PLOT SUMMARY: Mass transit terrorist rewarded with uneventful factory job, hot wife.

QUIRKS: Based on a Philip K. Dick novel, like so many Hollywood movies.

VISUALS: The movie *looked* a lot better than the original, and as movies are a visual medium, that means a LOT to me. If you only care about plot and not looks, you should read a book. I care about both. Even actress-wise Kate Beckinsdale and Jessica Biel are both way better looking than Sharon Stone (and I’m saying this as one who prefers blondes).

REMAKE RANT: It’s wrong to call this a remake of the 1990 movie, as it’s actually another adaptation of the book. As such, it was completely different, with different aspects used, different aspects dicarded, different levels of ambiguity, and differnet plot emphasis. The only thing that is shared is some of the original theme and plot feel. There is no Mars. There is instead “The Colony”, which is basically Australia. There are no mutants. But this movie has “The Fall”, which the 1990 movie didn’t. They are just two very different movies that share less than people want. Basically, anything that was missing from the 1990 movie people complained about, but I know from The Hangover 2 that if you make a movie exactly like the “original”, people will complain about that just as much as if you change a movie from the original. So you can’t win.

BAD STUFF: There was a lot of “chease scene-ism” that got in the way of developing characters a bit more, but hey, this is an action sci-fi movie, if you want a bunch of cerebrial internalism, read the Philip K. Dick book.

CONCLUSION: I thought it was an awesome. I honestly don’t really remember the 1990 movie that much. I liked this one better. So…. Yet another remake I enjoyed while everyone else complained.

Clint: Netflix: 4.6/5 stars. IMDB: 8.2/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
Native rating: 4.6/5 stars on Netflix (same as the 1990 original), 6.3/10 on imdb (compared to 7.5/10 imdb rating for the 1990 version).

RECOMMENDATION: See it, most especially if you aren’t a hater who’s going to whine that it isn’t the same movie as it was in 1990.

MOVIE QUOTE: “I give good wife.” I read a lot of hate on the line “I give good wife”, which I actually thought was a brilliant line. People were thinking it was a reference to oral sex? Huh? It was more about her ability to go through the motions, and fake it in a way would be gratifying. It was not about sex. It was about faking an entire relationship. I thought it really captured her character’s one-dimensional bitchiness. (more…)

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

4.6/5 stars from Clint, 4/5 stars from Carolyn.
8/10 from both of us.
Native rating of 4/5 stars (Netflix) and 7.3/10 (IMDB).

So ridiculously soon for a reboot, yet…. This had aspects no other Spider-Man interpretation has ever had, like a backstory Peter Parker’s parents. And Gwen Stacy instead of Mary-Jane. The Lizard instead of Doc Ock and the Green Goblin.

This movie broke the typical cliches of every Spider-Man first being the exact same story. And that’s something comic books do, y’know? Ultimate Spider-Man, Ultimate X-Men, etc. – Things get rebooted, re-done, re-interpreted, so that good franchises can live forever without getting stale.

But if you do it in a movie people will get mad. Apparently there should be exactly one movie for all things, and whatever is first will be best and should never be redone.

Anyway, this was more emo and awkward than most Spider-Mans, but then, Spider-Man is supposed to be an awkward nerd.  While we could argue Toby MacGuire was satisfactorily nerdy — there’s definitely room to go derper, and the new guy came off as even more awkward and more nerdy.
So that aspect felt truer to the comic. Enough hate already.


VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Rubber (2010)

Clint: 3/5 stars, 6.4/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10. “And that is being VERY generous.”
Native ratings: 3/5 stars Netflix, 5.7/10 IMDB.

Dafuq did I just watch? A movie about a killer tire?!?!

That’s a very unique concept. A good idea if done right. But unfortunatel it was a bit lame.

It had some weird twists, and didn’t make much sense… But it wasn’t trying to.  It was just… weird.

This really could have been an awesome movie. I had higher hopes for it and was let down. They could have really gone somewhere with this.

I was hoping for more of a direct badass parody; something like the movie Machete, but with a rubber tire that violently runs people over, pushes them off cliffs, etc.  But instead it tried to be a slightly pretentious commentary on art in general.

The tire killing people the way it did was the ultimate letdown of the movie and the concept as a whole.

Genre-wise, it’s a bit confusing. It’s comedy disguised as horror. It kind of succeeds at being funny, but not at being great.


VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Grave Encounters (2011)

Clint: 4/5 stars, 7.6/10.
Carolyn: 3.6/5 stars, 7.4/10.
Native rating: 4.5/5 stars Netflix, 6.1/10 IMDB.

A “found footage” movie. Like Blair Witch meets Quarantine meets The Cube.

Good Halloween choice.

It was interesting that the movie is about people that themselves are filming a shitty ghost-chasing reality TV show…. Then get more than they bargained for.

Definitely some really creepy stuff going on here…. Though the VERY ending could have been a bit better.


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