SURVESY: Could you pass a US citizenship test?

89/96 for me, but 3 of the 7 ones i missed, i had the right answer checked, then changed it, argh!

I am truly embarrassed that I keep forgetting the 3rd president of the USA, and that I forgot there were 9 supreme court justices and answered 11. MAJOR DERPS.


List 15 directors that blah blah blah blah. Okay, I can play this game too.

  • Terry Gilliam
  • Tim Burton
  • David Lynch (even though I dislike a lot of his movies, I love the direction)
  • Darren Aronosky
  • Gregg Araki
  • Park Chan-Wook
  • The Wachawski Bros
  • Quentin Tarantino
  • Stanley Kubrick…mostly
  • Todd Solondz…mostly
  • David Cronenburg
  • Zucker-Zucker-Abrams
  • Harmony Korine
  • M. Night Shamayalan (ducks)
  • Peter Jackson

NOT Jim Jarmusch [sorry]…Please kill me first.

NOT Richard Linklater…A few shining moments, but NO.

NOT Steve Sodorberg… I only like half his movies.

NOT The Coen Brothers… Too slow. Great direction, but too slow. Fargo and Raising Arizona were the best.


I’ve done like.. hardly any of this. So this will be very easy to fill out.

Things you have done during your lifetime:

( ) Gone on a blind date
( ) Donated Blood
(x) Had surgery
(x) Broken a bone
(x) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter (It wasn’t flying)
(x) Been lost
(x) Gone to Washington, DC
( ) Hugged a homeless person
(x) Swam in the ocean
( ) Swam with Stingrays
(x) Been sailing
(x) Performed in public on a musical instrument
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons [if the tablecloth at Macaroni Grill counts]
( ) Ran a marathon/or triathalon
(x) Sang Karaoke
( ) Volunteered at a soup kitchen
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch,
( ) Seen the Northern Lights
( ) Been Parasailing
(x) Been on TV – I was in the background with Lance Armstrong
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(x) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) Fed an elephant
( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Fired a gun
( ) Danced in the rain
( ) Been to the Opera
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Serenaded someone
( ) Seen a U.S. President in person
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe [I’m just assuming here]
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
( ) Driven a race car
(x) Been to a National Museum
( ) Been to a Wax Museum
( ) Eaten caviar
(x) Blown bubbles
( ) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone to the movies [uh DUHHH]
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Lived in more than one country
(x) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(x) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( ) Seen the Grand Canyon
( ) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( ) Been on a cruise
(x) Traveled by train – if the subway counts, then yes
(x) Traveled by motorcycle
( ) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco cable car
(x) Been to Disneyland OR Disney World
( ) Truly believe in the power of prayer
( ) Been in a rain forest
( ) Seen whales in the ocean
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Ridden on a camel
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier
( ) Been spinnaker flying
( ) Been water-skiing
( ) Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Been to the Taj Mahal
( ) Been to Rome, Italy
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
( ) Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game
( ) Swam with sharks
( ) Been White Water Rafting
( ) Written a book or screen play
(x) Been in love
( ) Put a foot in the Oval office
( ) Hitchhiked
( ) Joined the Mile High Club
( ) Snorkeled
(x) Seen a person on fire
(x) Been a person on fire – if my jacket counts and someone else had to inform me of it (more…)

Since everyone else is doing it… Here’s mine…

What annoys you the most?
That’s SOOO hard, because there are so many things. I tried creating a pet peeve list, and have added to it on several occasions, but it will never be all-inclusive.

I might have to go with “restrictions”, and “those who tend to want to restrict others”. Especially if it’s “for your own good”. People say “live and let live”, but then they don’t. Especially if their reasoning is based on a belief system built upon the imaginary foundation of sky fairies.

I mean really…. “what annoys you the most” has a different answer for every category. What clothes annoy me the most? What music annoys me the most? What people annoy me the most? What food annoys me the most? What pets annoy me the most? (Dogs.)

If you could, where would you go right now?

Amsterdam, or preferably someplace warm. South America?

Generally speaking, how often do you think about love?
Pretty damn often. Many times a day.

Choose an element: earth, air, fire, water
Fire. However, I am an earth person. I hate air, and hate water even more.

Which would you rather have: Ability to fly, to breathe underwater, or to move things with your mind (Telekinesis)?
Also, telekinesis gives you get rudimentary concentration-based flying — just don’t get distracted and fall to your death. I bet you could telekinetically move bubbles of air into the water for you to breathe as well.

But either way… Imagine the sex. Flying or breathing underwater is not going to make sex nearly as interesting as telekinesis. We’re talking infinite stamina, no muscle strains from repetitive motion, unhooking bra straps with your mind, non-chaffing bondage, and floating from rooftop to rooftop as you run away from cops trying to arrest you for having crazy telekinetic sex in an alleyway.

I might even do some yardwork if I was telekinetic. And chopping food would be sooo much easier; get several knives going at once. But above all, I would probably glide 1 inch above the ground rather than walk. This would be great on Halloween.

Would you rather not have to sleep or eat and drink?
Sleep, of course! We lose 25 years of our lives to sleep. To answer anything else other than “sleep” in this question is like saying “I want 25 years of my conscious life to be ripped away from me”!

Remember: The question said “not HAVE to”. You can still take a nap if you want. You just wont HAVE to.

Eating is a close second, if only because it requires so much resource and money, and ultimately all that investiment turns to shit. It’s a constant addiction that I’d just as soon end. But I’d still eat for pleasure.

Do you believe in aliens, UFOs, ghosts, or any other supernatural beings/objects?
Aliens? Definitely.
UFOs? There have certainly been unidentified flying objects. I don’t think anybody’s disputing THAT.
Aliens visiting earth? Who knows. I can see scenarios where it’s unlikely, and scenarios where it’s inevitable.
20090701 - X-Day - GEDC0191 - alien blow-up doll
20080705 - X-Day at Brushwood - 162-6213 - 'Like a homesick abortion...'

Ghosts? No, and certainly not based on people thinking they’ve seen them. Some form of scientific evidence is needed. I think paranormal studies should be explored scientifically, and not ignored, however.

Supernatural beings/objects? Objects? hahaha. Beings? You never know. But us humans are pretty supernatural and godlike compared to the ants. They would not be able to understand us explaining how reality works to them, and we could smite them effortlessly. That doesn’t actually make us supernatural. Even if there is a scary boogy man in the sky, he’s not necessarily god. Any super beings claiming to be god should be instantly distrusted.

Choose one: Love or money?
Love. Money is great, but it doesn’t hold you.

Infatuation or inspiration?
Inspiration, but I think it’s kind of an unfair question in a sense. Isn’t infatuation a form of inspiration anyway? (inspiration: the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions [emphasis added]). If given the choice between something and a subset of that something, I’m generally going to choose the full something and nto the subset. It’s more. Inspiration is infatuation and that much more. So… bad question.

Day or night?
Night. Forever.
If there could be a *warm* night that lasted forever, that would be paradise.

Imagination or knowledge?
Imagination with no knowledge is boring.
Knowledge with no imagination is stagnant and sometimes even inefficient (a waste of learning).

It takes a lot of work to develop one’s knowledge — and such a work can turn out to be a waste if one lacks the imagination required to have full critical thought and insight on how to apply said knowledge to new and unique situations and data. Knowledge is easy. You build it up like a skill. Anyone can study until they learn something. Like tennis, or playing the guitar.

Imagination to the point of creating something new is actually harder to develop and foster than “plain ol’ knowledge”. Imagination is more special. (And I don’t mean daydreaming!)

Breakthroughs typically require top-tier imgination coupled with top-tier knowledge. But knowledge is the easier one to teach.

Beavis - Choke - think 1

Describe your “perfect” place of living.
The weather outside? Somewhere where palm trees grow.

Politically? A country that had the American sense of freedom that America had in the *late* 1800s.

Physically? Some sort of underground borg cube. No natural light. No outside windows/access. Some sort of technology (or magic, heh) that keeps any and all life [besides humans] from existing — No bugs, No plants. Music playing 24/7. Lots of luxuries [like fans] on remote control. Motion sensing lights. Always around 77 degrees. A few small rooms in the lower level, but mostly one huge room on the top level.

Fiction-wise? I’d probably do pretty well in a steampunk universe, actually. The future would be pretty awesome, but a steampunk universe just seems like there’d be less of an armed, surveillance-based government around.

Lastly, is destruction a form of creation?
Definitely. The difference between creation and destruction can often be subjective. The words themselves are fairly broad.

What if I want to create a pile of rubble? I could do that by destroying a concrete building.
What if I wanted to create a full stomach? I could do that by destroying the life of an animal and eating it.

The whole circle of life is basically based on one being’s destruction being another being’s creation. The sun destroys itself [by slowly burning itself out] to create energy for the plants. They destroy carbon monoxide to create oxygen. Herbavores destroy vegetation to create sustenance. Carnivores destroy more. We destroy our feed to create feces. Plants destroy our feces to stay fertilized. And so forth and so forth.

Sometimes you gotta blow up an old building to build a newer buliding. Even that tends to count in my book as destruction that’s a form of creation. Sterilizing surgical tools as well: You’re using *fire* [basically] to sterilize. That’s pretty destruction-like to me. But that destruction creates sterility. (more…)

This is one survey I’m going to do the hell out of, since this could easily be something that people write a blogpost about: What they experienced when they were 17. Since I can’t experience the events of a movie like 17 Again, I’ll just have to be content to try to remember my own 1991.

So I’m gonna answer the hell out of this survey. And include pictures. Of me when I was 17 / pictures taken around 1991.

Anyway, when I was 17, it was 1991. I was a sophomore and junior in high school. It was the year I received this for either my birthday or Christmas:

1991 - OH! - The Clint


1. My favorite musician was: Probably Glenn Danzig, because he wrote the music for all The Misfits songs, and they were my favorite band. (Nowadays, it’s a tie between Misfits, Ween, and Atari Teenage Riot)

1991ish - Clint's room - metal posters, Misfits vinyl - 0449
^ Wall of my room, 1991

2. My favorite song was: Hard to say, because I don’t really have favorite songs, in general. If I was asked this question today, it would be Atari Teenage RiotRevolution Action.



3. My favorite subject was: A.P. Computer Science 1. Where else could I goof off, sometimes sleep, and end up getting college credit (after taking both years in high school)?
I got a 5 on the harder of 2 AP tests, which meant 7 credit hours and not having to deal with PASCAL at the Virginia Tech class that causes most C.S. majors to drop out. I thik it was the dreaded CS 1701. If I remember that number correctly, it’s the only specific college class number I remember — and it’s of a class I didn’t take.

4. My favorite teacher was: Mr. Linz. Hands down. One of 5 or so teachers I even remember from high school. He got sick and I never knew if he died, until recently, when someone commented on this picture, telling me Mr. Linz had published a book about overcoming his illness .

1991ish - Clint - Wooodbridge High - Mr. Linz's physics class - Clint makes a funny face
^ Me in Mr. Linz’s class. Photographer unknown.

5. I had a crush on: This person (picture below) who really caused me to hate people with uptight issues… But it was good, because she broke me bad enough to keep my hands off any woman until I ran into Carolyn, who I waited until early 1992 to start crushing on :)

19900820 - bitch - Carver MA - 4499

6. Favorite food was: …and always shall be, tacos.

B&B - Citizen Butt-head - cafeteria

Even gummi tacos are pretty awesome:
20071226 - Christmas Presents - 146-4663 - build your own tacos

7. My favorite hangout was: Definitely my room. With my my bunk bed, the tacky tropical-tree wallpaper that came with our house:
1991ish - Clint's room - Clint - about to go to work - tie - flicking off - 0443

the carpet that was colored such that you could pour half a can of coke on the ground, leave it, and never notice:
1991ish - Clint's room - Shane the dog - 0445
(Yes, I poured sodas on my carpet many times to make my point)

and most of all, the fact that there was more privacy in my room than in most kid’s rooms:
1991ish - Clint's room - Clint, Sam - Ouija Board seance - 0437
1991ish - Clint's room - Brent - trying to be evil - sitting - 0451
No. We did not use it well.

8. I wished I could be: NO CLUE! I have always been quite content with being me. All I wanted to do was a job with computer programming.

9. My plans for the future were: At the beginning of 1991? Go to college and major in Computer Science. I also had always said I wouldn’t get married until I was 30… but I was off by 4 years and got married at 26.
At the end of 1991? My plans were along the lines of, “How do I start dating this Carolyn chick I know?”

10. My favorite TV show was: Twin Peaks. I came in near the end of its run, had no CLUE what the fuck was going on, and absolutely loved it!! Though it took me until 2007 to find it, propertly watch ALL of it in order (pilot, both seasons, Fire Walk With Me), and finally buy some Twin Peaks t-shirts:
20071215 - Clint - 144-4436 - Twin Peaks shirt - back

11. I hated: I’m going to assume it was not having sex, as I lost my virginity in 1990, had a couple things not work out that year (see #5), and didn’t hook up with Carolyn until 1992.

(If this was 1990, it would be my parents not letting me go to The Undead show. If this was 1992, it would be having to be separated from Carolyn while at Virginia Tech. 1991? Not really so terrible, other than the usual horrible bullshit I always had to deal with.)

12. It was the year: I met Carolyn. And we know how that turned out.
Her first words to me were, “Are you Satan?” And mine to her were, “Are you Magic Mist?” That’s not exactly taken from the book of traditional romantic opening lines.

19920223 - Carolyn's 16th Birthday Card from Clint - 1 - front

13. Best memory: Besides meeting Carolyn? Playing guitar/drums with Sam Watson in my room every day after school, until he moved to Mississippi:
1991ish - Clint's room - Sam, Clint - playing guitar - 0441

…and in general: BBSing, and still quite happy to finally being able to drive (got license in 5/1990).

14. Worst memory: #5 (Nikki) and #12 (best friend moving away). The comedic answer would be the lesson of “The Secret Center Is PAIN”:
1991ish - Secret Centers - the secret center is PAIN!
(Click through image for the story on why that makes sense.)

Hat tip to Parthena for posting this on Facebook.

Another 1991 gift:

20071208 - Christmas Party at Becky & Vic's - 143-4348 - Clint collage

My family, 1990ish (closest I could find to 1991):

1990ish - Vic, Becky, Britt, Clint - Beechnut Ct - 0103 (more…)

Another stupid Facebook quiz with terrible, terrible questions like how you would react if your friend fell in love with a monkey.

Your Result: You are German.

You are precise yet romantic, efficient yet dreamy, friendly yet somewhat suspicious of others. You rarely smile, but when you do it’s very meaningful. You like it best when there is a group consensus, and yet you are easily annoyed by the slowness and/or stupidity of others. Sometimes you think that if only you could live on an island or move to some wonderful place far away, everything would be better, and if you can’t realize this dream you often lose yourself in books/vacations/recipes/sports — anything for an escape! All in all, however, you make your peace with life, and have many old friends. (more…)

And old quiz I took in 2002… No longer online… But here are the results:

You are Heavy Metal!
Angry, sad, and disillusioned, you are Heavy Metal. You are the embodiment of the darkness of the human heart. Your main themes are sadness, anger, and hopelessness. You are frequently misunderstood by others and many link you to devil worship. However, those willing to look through the shell of darkness and anger find you to be very intelligant, poetic, and artistic. Too bad your inclination to look for the beauty in darkness and your general attitude of frustration with humanity as a whole tends to send most people running for the nearest exit. But despite that, you wouldn’t have it any other way.


Your result for The Social Persona Test (What kind of man/woman are you?)…

Lord of the Misfits (QLAM)

Quirky Liberal Alpha Male

You are similar to The Fratt Boy, in that you often try to take care of peers you percieve as less successful, but with the added benefit that you actually understand those on the fringes. You are a good ally to have, but people might be hurt if they believe your universal good will is a sign of a close friendship. You are nice to everyone, but you know who your true friends are. In terms of dating, you want someone who shares your interests; other than that, anything goes.

You are more QUIRKY than NORMAL.

You are more LIBERAL than TRADITIONAL.

You are more DOMINANT than PASSIVE.

When picking a date, consider: The Rarity (QTAF), The Renaissance Faire Wench (QLAF), The Librarian (QTBF), or The Emo Girl (QLBF)

(Image from UNC Library Website)

Take The Social Persona Test (What kind of man/woman are you?)
at HelloQuizzy

Compared to other takers

  • 83/100 You scored 1 on Maleness, higher than 83% of your peers.
  • 27/100 You scored -2 on Normality, higher than 27% of your peers.
  • 7/100 You scored -4 on Tradition, higher than 7% of your peers.
  • 31/100 You scored 1 on Dominance, higher than 31% of your peers.


I got this from Parthena, who was Uhura.

Your results:
You are Spock

Leonard McCoy (Bones)
Jean-Luc Picard
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)
James T. Kirk (Captain)
Will Riker
Deanna Troi
Mr. Scott
Geordi LaForge
Mr. Sulu
Beverly Crusher
You are skilled in knowledge and logic.
You believe that the needs of the many
outweigh the needs of the few.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test

[crossposted from Facebook]

  1. I’m a techie. I was the first human being I ever knew to have cable (’79ish), have a VCR (’80ish, $800, separate UHF/VHF knobs), have a personal computer (’80), write a program (’83), get online (’88), record and play music on my computer (’90-91), use the internet (’91), use a TV as a monitor (’95, but my dad did this around 1980), have a webpage (’95), use google (’98ish, I emailed my whole addressbook telling them about it), use a social networking site (SixDegrees in ’98, and not ONE friend accepted my request–people didn’t get that social networking had great potential… it took another 10 yrs for facebook to take off), control lights in my house with a computer (2002ish), transmit audio over FM with my computer (2003ish), use gmail (2004), flickr (2004), or have a YouTube account (2004). Y’all are slow at figurin’ this technawlogee out. Not to toot my own horn (but isn’t that what 25 things is for?), but you might want to follow my lead when I get into new things. I’m often onto things before others. I was called a geek for a lot of these things, then every trendy person on the planet turned around and did most of them 10 yrs later. PWNED.
  2. I first got online in 1988 with a dumb terminal. That means there was no software, and you had to type out most of the phone numbers you dialed (it could store 10) manually. And of course you couldn’t download. No disks. No operating system. No computer. Just a monitor and a keyboard. I called BBSes at 2400bps, 1200bps, and 300bps. 30 characters a second is REALLY slow. It wasn’t long til I had lots of online friends, as well as phoned in death threats to my house.
  3. I once rear-ended a purple limosine. I pretended to be poorer than I was, and the owner, a reverend, never called.
  4. My grandfather started a cult ( http://delicious/clintjcl/markprophet ) … Tens of thousands beleived he was divine, and ascended directly to heaven.
  5. I only have mid-digital hair on my left ring finger.
  6. I love warmth, but I think I’d be content with never seeing the sun again. I’ve gone about 3 weeks without seeing it before and it didn’t bother me a bit. But I would be the first in any group to die of exposure if tied to at ree.
  7. I once stabbed my dad in the arm with a fork. I was pretending to, and it broke his skin, and felt just like picking up a piece of cut steak. Gross.
  8. I once slit my dad’s throat with a piece of paper. I was pretending to, and flicked it, and it actually paper-cut his throat. Oops!!
  9. By the time I graduated high school, I had only drinken alcohol 8 times.
  10. I’ve never used chapstick/lip balm, except for 2 times that I’ve taken so much Mucinex that it dried me out. I really don’t understand why it’s so critical for people.
  11. I’m 35, and I still get carded if I shave. Yet my first legal drink at 21, they didn’t card me. WTF.
  12. My 3 favorite bands are Atari Teenage Riot, The Misfits, and Ween. They sound NOTHING like each other. (I prefer punk & metal, yet only The Misfits squarel fall into that.)
  13. I didn’t learn to really talk or use a toilet until I was 3, but I could read by the time I was 4 (before kindergarten), and at an adult level by 7. Listening to other kids read out loud in class was always EXTREMELY painful. I first corrected a teacher in kindergarten; I was right, she was wrong.
  14. I’ve never been out of the country. (Canada at age 3 doesn’t count!)
  15. I dislike being in public, because there are rules. True freedom only exists on private property.
  16. I’ve been tested as typing at 104WPM with 99% accuracy. (Temp agency, college)
  17. We had our first computer when I was about 5 or 6 (kindergarten, 1979-1980). I wrote my first computer program around age 8 (3rd grade). It merely printed to the screen that my high score in bowling was 30. Ha!
  18. Because I learned how to program for loops by copying my dad around age 8 or 9, I thought the loop control variable always had to be called “T”. For YEARS. (Nowadays I use $i!)
  19. I have Gilbert’s Syndrome. Basically, glucoronyl transferase enzyme deficiencies cause abnormal bilirubin (what makes your pee yellow, a byproduct of broken down hemoglobin) levels in my blood, making me succeptible to a harmless form of jaundice and possible bouts of fatigue (which would explain a LOT). But it lowers your rate of heart disease and artery hardening. Bacon, here I come. If my skin or eyes seem a bit yellow, this is why.
  20. I prefer to floss with plastic (10-pack-o’-gum bags, sandwich bags). Plastic never cuts your gums, and you can fold it over for farther apart teeth, use the edge, or use the middle for strange-shaped teeth gaps (a crown is only worth replacing so many times before you accept having a “food trap” shape between 2 teeth). Also, the dental tape (not floss) kicks ass for the same reasons — but plastic is free. I do keep floss around. At work, in my car, at home. It’s a basic emergency need. People not having it is how I discovered the plastic trick: Parties where the host has no floss tend to have smokers present, and the cellophane from a pack of cigarettes works just as well (But it’s stronger than plastic, and CAN make you bleed.)
  21. I have no friends my age who have been in a relationship as long as I have, and wonder if I ever will.
  22. I once refused to sneeze for a period of several years. And was successful.
  23. It seems like my tendons NEVER heal. Pull my back? 3 years of agony. Walk on sand? 9 months of constant discomfort [so far]. Any unknown treatments for this?
  24. I’ve had surgery 3 times, but only one was “real”/asleep surgury. Nodule in my thumb, and a radicular cyst in my gums (twice, it grew back even tho it’s not cancer). You’d think with all this, I’d be lumpy… but I’m not. Unless you count a gut. But that doesn’t have lumps.
  25. I didn’t learn to swim until my parents bribed me with a stereo at age 13. I despise water. If I were one of the 4 “elements”, I’d be fire. Then earth. Not air, and definitely not water.
  26. I’m a 3rd gen I.T. guy. We’re a rare breed. But it’s harder to find work if you don’t want to help kill people.


This is a Facebook meme going around, but I don’t like to post these ON Facebook….

“Think of 15 albums that had such a profound effect on you that they changed your life. Dug into your soul. Music that brought you to life when you heard it. Royally affected you, kicked you in the ass, literally socked you in the gut if you know what i mean. Then when you finish, tag 15 others, including myself. Make sure you copy and paste this message so the people you tag will know the drill.”

Well… This is a hard one. I listen to a LOT of music. I have 36,000 mp3s (and only about 3,000 of those aren’t music). I spent 5+ yrs listening to a random playlist of 9000 songs (typically limit myself to playlists of 1000-2000 songs these days). I went through a set of rechargeable (Nickel-Cadmium) walkman batteries every day in high school. I have music playing 24/7/365 at home. I often turn the in-game music off in video games, leaving only the sound effects, so I can use my own music. I bring music to work and listen non stop. I would be very hard pressed to choose my 100 favorite albums, let alone choose 15.

So this will be kind of random and arbitrary! I will probably focus on some of the albums I listened to when I was younger (high school), as they shaped my future tastes. I also will try not to repeat 2 albums by the same band.

01. Guns N’ Roses – Appetite For Destruction – first cassette I ever bought, around 1988. At first I would just listen to Sweet Child O’ Mine over and over again. Chris Hanners made fun of me. Eventually my favorite song became “It’s So Easy”, and now I’m also quite fond of “Rocket Queen”. I’ve heard (and played) Sweet Child O’ Mine enough for a lifetime.

02. Metallica – Ride The Lightning – not my first Metallica album – that was And Justice For All, arguably more influential because it helped get me into metal. But then I got Kill ‘Em All, and liked it better than Justice, listening to it about 400 times in high school. Ultimately, however, I decided on Ride The Lightning as my favorite Metallica album, and this hasn’t changed in 10 or 15 years. This is the only Metallica album that I would still consider listening straight through in sequential, today. Metallica themselves can fuck off and die in 2009; they should be burned on the high alter of hypocrisy.

03. Megadeth – So Far, So Good… So What? – Along with Metallica‘s And Justice For All, and Megadeth‘s 2nd album Peace Sells…But Who’s Buying?, this was one of the 3 albums that got me into thrash metal and metal in general (or speedmetal, as we called it back then). I started with Guns N’ Roses, moved on to Metallica & Megadeth, and progressed into Slayer, Anthrax, Testament, Kreator, Coroner, etc. This was also my introduction to the Sex Pistols, as Dave Mustaine‘s cover of “Anarchy In The UK” (retitled “Anarchy In The USA”) made me realize that Sex Pistols are a band I need to get into someday. (It took me until college to get around to this.)

04. 20080223 - cd longboxes - Nine Inch Nails: Pretty Hate Machine, Jane's Addiction: Nothing's Shocking, Ministry: The Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Taste, Gwar: Scumdogs Of The Universe, Type O Negative: Slow, Deep And Hard, Atari Teenage Riot: Live In Philad Jane’s Addiction – Nothing’s Shocking – After seeing “Mountain Song” on MTV’s Headbanger’s Ball (despite wikipedia claiming MTV wouldn’t air the video), I felt it slightly out of place. This was before 120 Minutes existed, back around 1988 or 1989, before Jane’s Addiction became mainstream. This was back when their 1st (live) album couldn’t be found in record stores, because they hadn’t “broke” yet. The cover artwork, in the form of a longbox CD case (remember those?), was perhaps the most subversive piece of art I owned, at age 14. I was a freshmen at the school across the street from my house. It wasn’t until I was a junior (1990-1991) that everyone seemed to know the song “Been Caught Stealing”. The songs were so incredibly powerful (Ocean Size, Had A Dad, Ted,Just Admit It, Standing In The Shower…Thinking, Mountain Song, Pigs In Zen.) To this day, I think the song “Jane Says” is probably the worst non-instrumental song on the album, maybe tied with Idiots Rule.

05. SabbatDreamweaver (Reflections Of Our Yesterdays) –  Click the album title for my 5800 word review on this album. One of 2 albums I have ever bought on all 3 formats: Cassette, Vinyl, and CD (original pressing for $54 and remaster for $26). I bought this because I liked the record company, Noise Records, and because I liked the cover art. It was around 1989. It was a truly random purchase. Extremely dense thrash metal, with TONS of lyrics for each song, and TONS of riffs. Sam Watson figured out that it was a concept album with an incredible story — and this was AFTER I had grown to love it. Eventually, lyrics surfaced on the internet, and I spent weeks in college listening to it over and over, fixing the lyrics until they were right. I had a national library search for the book it was based on fail twice, before finally succeeding some 10 yrs afterward. We now own the book it is based on, and have both read it. This might be my favorite metal album of all time, and is probably Carolyn’s too.

06. 20080223 - cd longboxes Violent Femmes – Violent Femmes – In my day, sonny, we didn’t have emo music. If you were crushing hard on a girl, or feeling a lot of teenage angst, you would listen to THIS album. Blister In The Son, Kiss Off, Prove My Love, Add It Up, Please Do Not Go, Gone Daddy Gone, To The Kill… This entire album was great, and helped show me that you could still rock with acoustic instruments, and “lead acoustic bass”. “Lead” bass is rare. Primus, Mr. Big (who I hated, but was impressed with the bassist), and some Violent Femmes were really all the music I could think of that had “lead” bass. I still remember an entire bus of random party-goers at Virginia Tech spontaneously breaking into singing this song. People from all kinds of different social standings and circles of friends united into a drunk carol of epic proportion — I remember that bus ride to this day. 4 years after getting into the album, I was surprised to find out that it was well known among all the other random Virginia Tech people. And later, they would play at Squires Student Center.

07. NoMeansNo – Live + Cuddly. NoMeansNo has way too many MASTERPIECE, EPIC albums for me to choose one. It’s really hard for me to choose a favorite between Wrong (the album), Small Parts Isolated and Destroyed / The Day Everything Became Nothing, Sex Mad / You Kill Me, or 0 + 2 = 1. But Live + Cuddly was the first NoMeansNo cassette I ever heard, after a guy named Dane played some of it for me in a car at a sleepover that Carolyn’s ex-ex-boyfriend had lured me to with the promise of cheerleaders also attending. (There weren’t any, and when we talked to some random chicks walking down the street, they informed us that the neighborhood nickname for this kid was “Turd”, lol.) Suffice to say that Dane helped me to influence the most people I have ever influenced in my life to like a band. When NoMeansNo came to the Rock N’ Roll Hotel, I could attribute 10-15 people being there because they got into it from people who got into it from me. It spread through my friends, Carolyn’s brothers friends, the Ingebrets3n brothers, and more. They are one of the most creative “punk” acts out there. It’s too bad their post-2000 work does not at all stand up to their pre-2000 work. I will also remark that their first album, Mama, clearly has songs that sound exactly like Primus‘s style (lead bass, nasally vocals) — years before Primus hit the scene. But this was not the sound they would ultimately have. It was punk — but only because it lacked classification elsewhere. It was punk with high variance. No two songs sounded a like. Usually, with punk, most songs by the same band sound somewhat alike. Still one of my favorite bands ever.

08. Alternative Tentacles – Virus 100 Dead Kennedys Tribute. Back in my day, sonny — before p2p and bittorrent — if you wanted 1 rare song by a band you lived that appeared on some strange compilation/tribute album… You had to go to the record store, special order the album, and play the waiting game. This album is well known among Dead Kennedys fans, and even among non-fans. I never heard a single Dead Kennedys album until AFTER college, despite the fact that I had this in *high school*. I knew I liked the songs, and I knew I would eventually like Dead Kennedys (Which I do now). What’s the rush? In fact, I would say that for about 80% of the songs on this album — I like them better than the Dead Kennedys version. They’re far more stylized and unique. This is also how I got into Victims Family, a NoMeansNo-produced funky punk band that has some decent stuff (and some stuff that’s not quite as decent). It’s also how Disposable Heroes Of Hyphopcracy got on my radar. I’m not into hip-hop, but they did a spoken word collaboration album with William S. Burroughs (“Spare Ass Annie”), and the fact that I had already heard them do California Uber Allies helped convince me to pony up the cash for Spare Ass Annie after seeing The Naked Lunch movie.

09. WeenPure Guava. After hearing Push Th’ Little Daisies on Beavis & Butt-head, I knew this was a band for me. I wasn’t wrong. This album blew my mind, and introduced me to one of my 3 favorite bands (Ween, The Misfits, Atari Teenage Riot). Listening to Ween has been pretty much a daily occurrence ever since, and Ween is the band I have seen the most times live — 8 (counting the Gene Ween and Gene Ween Band shows). Basically, this album helped expand my love of modern psychedelic music, and greatly influenced my music taste. Although I got this in 1992/1993ish, it was not until about 2001 that I decided Ween was tied for my favorite band. But the voyage started with this AMAZING album. My favorite track? Morning Glory!

10. Saturday Morning Cartoon’s Greatest Hits. Won by my dad in a sweepstakes contest in 1995, I threw this into my 12-disc changer without knowing what to expect. What we were treated to was a bunch of cover songs of cartoon themes. Liz Phair, Semisonic, Matthew Sweet, Juliana Hatfield, Tonya Donelly, Collective Soul, Butthole Surfers, Helmet, The Ramones, Reverent Horton Heat, Frente, Violent Femmes, Face To Face, Tripping Daisy, Sublime, Toadies, The Murmurs, etc. These were, for the most part, bands I never listened to, and to this day am not the slightest bet interested in (except Femmes, Ramones, Surfers, and to a lesser extent Rev. Horton Heat, and The Murmurs who had a great song Beavis & Butt-head watched called “You Suck”). Yet they made an album of songs I absolutely loved — mostly because they didn’t write them. Old, corny TV songs re-done in modern styles. All the soul of the old, and all the style of the new. It was the perfect mashup, and was probably a Top-10 listened-to album in college for Carolyn & I. Sublime turned the 30 second Hong Kong Phooey theme song into 7.5 minutes of sometimes psychedelic reggae madness. Popeye The Sailor became a fast, aggressive, headbanging song. Happy Happy Joy Joy became something that could be moshed to. H.R. Pufnstuff had far more charm than the original. Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah was the perfect one for Violent Femmes to improve, and improve they did. The whole album was a masterpiece. Later, Schoolhouse Rock! Rocks gave the exact same treatment to the Schoolhouse Rock! songs, with pretty much equal success (including a Ween song, as well as Man Or Astro-Man?’s best song ever, Biz Markie, Lemonheads, Skee-Lo, Moby, Pavement, and such). These 2 albums are in a category of their own.

11. Type O Negative – Bloody Kisses. Best gothic metal album ever? I think so. You just can’t beat songs like Black No. 1, Christian Woman, Blood & Fire, Too Late: Frozen, or We Hate Everyone, and the rest of the album is quite good too. I was a Carnivore fan before Carnivore changed its name to Type O Negative. So this was really the 4th studio album byt hese guys. But it was groundbreaking at the time — their shows are still extremely popular to this day. Type O Negative did for gothic metal what Sisters Of Mercy did for gothic rock!

12.Ministry – In Case You Didn’t Feel Like Showing Up. I first heard the song “Thieves” (with samples from Full Metal Jacket) when I saw D.R.I. (with Bad Religion opening) at the old 9:30 Club. They played it on the speakers in between bands. I went out and got the live album, and to date it is one of my favorite live albums ever. The accompanying video IS my favorite live video ever (and I lost my VHS! Stolen by friends, I assume.) Most of the songs on this album were better than the studio equivalents! They were longer, more aggressive, and had TWO drummers. This began my descent into industrial metal. This album was ultimately responsible for me liking KMFDM, Rammstein, Atari Teenage Riot, Chemlab, Nine Inch Nails (who I got into because of the raw aggression of Broken; I hated Pretty Hate Machine in high school), and Marilyn Manson.

13.Atari Teenage Riot – Burn, Berlin, Burn! Just click on the band name to find other posts where I gush about Atari Teenage Riot. Combining techno, industrial, metal, punk, hip-hop (tiny bit), and noise into a genre they dubbed “digital hardcore” — ATR redefined the very meaning of the word “heavy” for me. Slayer‘s got nothing on these guys. Metallica wishes they could make something this aggressive. Most death metal is too generic and unrelenting to really get me going. These guys get me going. And politically, they are the only band to capture the true rage that we should be feeling with the state of the world and society being what it is today. There other albums are equally as good, but this is what helped me START THE RIOT (one of their songs)! In fact, Atari Teenage Riot has inspired real riots, with riot police, mass arrests, and everything. I’d pay good money to travel back in time and attend that show. Too bad Carl Crack is now dead.

14.Sex Pistols – The Great Rock ‘N’ Roll Swindle. Yes, I know this isn’t “really” the Sex Pistols, and that their only true studio release was Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols. Despite that fact, this was one of the most listened to albums by Carolyn & me in college. It sat in our 12-disc changer for years, just like Saturday Morning Cartoon’s Greatest Hits. Despite it not being “real” Sex Pistols, I found this album to capture a particular essence that made it realer than a real Sex Pistols album. Most Sex Pistols fandom probably considers this to be sacrilege, yet this is how I feel. Don’t get me wrong — Nevermind The Bollocks is a seminal classic. But I might even like the Ex Pistols The Swindle Continues better than Nevermind The Bollocks! Either way. The Great Rock ‘N’ Roll Swindle is the single “Sex Pistols” album that I would have to choose to take to a desert island.

15.Minor Threat – Complete Discography. While I originally owned this as two separate cassettes, they released them onto 1 cd, and I now consider it 1 album, because it all fits on a cd! This is the first song I ever performed in my first band — and I hadn’t even heard the original at that time! In high school, I grew to GREATLY love this. It is some of the best punk that ever existed, and has not been forgotten, like some greats often are. It seems everyone still remembers and loves them. If they were to tour as Minor Threat today, I’m thinking the shows would quite possibly sell out. Too bad Ian MacKaye is a dick and a hypocrite, now seen drinking around D.C. bars despite starting the [stupid] straightedge punk scene. To quote the Undead: “No Vices! How boring it would be if we had No Vices!”

NOTE: No The Misfits albums were included because there are so many The Misfits albums that are varying permutations of the same songs. Thus, any good Misfits song appears on multiple different albums, making it really hard to pick one as being particularly influential.

I wish I had room to include Moistboyz #2, Mr. Bungle #2 (Disco Volante), and The Undead‘s Dawn Of The Undead on this list. But I don’t. I would also consider putting Freezepop‘s Freezepop Forever album on this list, if only because it is an incredible departure from my normal music tastes. I also wonder if The Church‘s Starfish album belongs here for similar reasons.

Fill this out about your SENIOR year of high school. The longer ago it was, the more fun your answers will be!! Then share with 25 others!

Woodbridge High School - 0530-NOT Clint's-Senior-1992-pic cropped & artifacts removed

1. Did you date someone from your school? This is all for senior year only? Then: Just Carolyn.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? Carolyn.

3. Did you car pool to school? Not my senior year. I drove myself even tho Dad said I couldn’t. Thanks for covering me, Mom! Muahahahaha. (Will this be when Dad finally finds out?)

4. What kind of car did you have? Pontiac 6000 STE. Don’t remember the year (88?). Sunroof, digital dashboard.

5. What kind of car do you have now? Pontiac Bonneville 1993.

6. Its Friday night. Football games or Party? Pre-Carolyn, I sometimes went to the WSHS football games to socialize with people. I generally never faced the field the entire time. I’m an extrovert and I’d socialize online on BBSes most of the time, so it was good to get some f2f time with real people. Post-Carolyn, I spent my time with Carolyn every night. Still do.

7. It is Saturday night? Uhhh… Post-Carolyn, stuff with her. Pre-Carolyn? It was pretty random. I had friends do sleepovers up until college because it was a good way to eliminate boredom.

8. What kind of job did you have in high school? Weis Markets. Stock clerk. But I volunteered for as much porch duty (loading groceries into peoples’ cars) as possible. Probably double anyone else. It was WAY less boring than stocking, or “fronting” (moving stuff to the front so it looks more appealing). Except that last hour on Sunday. I recall literally watching the second hand go around the clock at times.

9. What kind of job do you have now? None. But usually I do something with web development, web application development (yay), or web producing (meh).

10. Were you a party animal? Nope. I party far harder at 35 than at 18. And I’m [finally] starting to pay for it.

11. Were you considered a flirt? Nope. I got more flirty after college.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? None of the above. Study hall! (I was in Choir in middle school.)

13. Were you a nerd? Yup, and it’s paid off well. Everybody else had to work the last 10 yrs; I’ve only worked 6 of the last 10 and we still have more money in the bank than most people.

14. Did you get suspended or expelled? Not as a senior (or ever), but I did manage to get written up or detention during about 11 out of 13 of my K-12 years.

15. Can you sing the fight song? Huh? Is that like the Rocky theme or something? Eye Of The Tiger? Huh? Sports? What are those?

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher? Mr. Lenz. He had health problems. I hope he’s still alive. He told us all about his night in jail, haha.

17. Where did you sit during lunch? I think I hung around back in the lockers a lot. But that might not have been my senior year. I really don’t remmeber.

18. What was your school’s full name? Woodbridge Senior High School

19. When did you graduate? 1992

20. What was your school mascot? Viking

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you? Yes, but TOTALLY differently. I mean… Totally. Except for Carolyn. I would have sought her out a year earlier and probably ended up breaking some age of consent laws (I had to wait 2 weeks after we started dating for it to be legal to do her, hahah.) (2 years and 2 wks age difference…)

22. Did you have fun at Prom? I had fun because I was with Carolyn, but overall, watching people I mostly didn’t like dress up in fancy clothes I mostly didn’t like while listening to crappy hip-hop music that I still don’t like was a big waste of money. That being said, if I had to do it again, I’d still go.

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? Yes. She is sitting next to me typing up her 25 Things.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion? Yes. I regret pussing out of my 10-year reunion.

25. Do you still talk to people from school? Yes. Moreso now that Facebook hit critical mass in 2009. (more…), after telling a Vegan why he was wrong in the comments of a flickr picture meant to incite debate (see image to the right), I ran into an interesting gender survey. I took it, and ran into an even more interesting result:

“A 25 year old woman is mugged by a stranger, who shoots her dead to steal her purse.
In another case, a 25 year old woman is shot and killed by her husband, when her parents refuse to buy a brand new car for him.
If you were on the jury for these two cases, how would you judge them?

a. You would judge both crimes to be of the same severity and decide that the same punishment should be given to both assailants. (122)
b. The mugging crime is more severe than the domestic one and that assailant deserves a harsher punishment. (6)
c. The domestic crime is more severe than the mugging crime and the husband of the dead woman deserves a harsher punishment. (122)
d. None of the above. (8)”

First off, I’m throwing out D. Either the 2 assailants get equal punishment, or one gets more. There’s no need for a D.

That leaves 250 answers. So out of those 250 people, only 122 (49%) believe the husband deserves a harsher punishment? What the hell?

I thought the point of justice is to punish people for a crime, with a fitting punishment. The betrayal and murder of someone by a spouse who supposedly loves her and has pleged his life to har is FAR more insulting, unjust, evil, vindictive, wrong, betraying, sickening — than being killed by a complete stranger (which is a random roll of the dice). The 49% of people who would give both crimes the same puunishment are total fucking idiots to me. Yes, random killing is sickening, but at least it’s not adding the insult of betrayal to the injury of murder? I think the fact that only 1% of people chose to punish the mugger more indicates that people at least subconsciously realize this, but what confuses me is how 49% of the remaining 99% still want to punish the bad husband no more than the mugger.

Similarly, a mother killing her child is far worse than a random person killing a child.

Anyway, the survey is quick (11 questions, no login) and easy, and interesting. Take it here if you want. (more…)

Take the test. My results below. 9 types listed here. Thanks, Parthena. (more…)

I choked 2 or 3 times during the test. . .

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 7.1
Mind: 7.8
Body: 8
Spirit: 6.5
Friends/Family: 6.1
Love: 9.1
Finance: 8.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Read on for an analysis of each number, as well as statistics for the million or so people who have filled these out.


I am The Devil. Figures. My BBS alias from 1989-1994 or so was “Satan”. (more…)

Read up on Asperger’s Syndrome at WikiPedia, if you don’t already know what it is. I just took a 171-question quiz. Apparently, I am average, although it is pretty clear that in every category (especially “Talent”), I leaned slightly in the Aspie direction. That is, for almost every section, my neurotypical score was lower than my Asperburger score. UPDATE: 20100201: The test now has a version 2, so I took it again. I will place my new results below the old results.

Version 1:

Your Aspie score: 100 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 96 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

Version 2:

Your Aspie score: 106 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 107 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits.

Do you have Asperburger’s Syndrome? Take the survey HERE and find out.


Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you’re very difficult to predict.
One moment you’re in your own little happy universe…
And the next, you’re on a bad trip to your own personal hell!
At your best: You understand the world completely, and every ordinary experience is sublime.

What people like about being around you: You say and do the craziest things. You’re very entertaining.

What people dislike about being around you: You’re unpredictable. Your mood swings are quite intense.

How addicted people get to you: They pretty much don’t get addicted to you.

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Carolyn’s results (marijuana) HERE.

1. Go to
2. Put in Username: nycareers Password: landmark
3. Take their “Career Matchmaker” questions.
4. Post the top twenty results [or more if you want].
5. Bold the jobs you’d genuinely be interested in.

My results to below: (more…)

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