VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Assault Of The Party Nerds (1989)

Claire: 2.4/5 stars, 5.4/10.
Carolyn: 2.4/5 stars, 5.4/10.
Native ratings: 2.4/5 stars Netflix, 3.6/10 IMDB.

A typical 1980s party/sex comedy movie that doesn’t really have too much of a plot.  This is the type of movie that they would have shown on “USA Up All Night!” back in the day.

This movie had some of the worst acting I’ve seen in my life, but since it was a very obvious low-budget b-movie, that was kind of to be expected.

Another complaint: Only 18 actors. It’s unconscionable to have a party movie where scenes of the party only have 2 people on the screen, with only 1 or 2 extras passing by the entire scene. Party movies are supposed to have big parties with tons of people!

The characters were basically: 4 nerds, 3 jocks, 3 girlfriends, 1 frat-legend old-guy, and 3 party hookups.  Only 4 other people in the whole fucking movie!  It would have had a lot more of a party feel if they had used more actors.

Carolyn’s thoughts: It was a very slow buildup. I was wondering when the party happened already. There were a few almost-redeeming moments (mountain of beer cans collapsing and William Tell Overture computer-keyboarding), but otherwise, the movie just fell flat. It didn’t have much else going for it. Oh, no, I can’t believe there’s a sequel.

Claire again: Wow, a sequel. WTF. And it’s rated even lower? Not sure why.

This wasn’t good. But it had good things about it. It wasn’t serious. You get to laugh a few times. Sometimes you’re laughing at the actual jokes in the movie, but most of the time you’re just laughing at how bad the movie is. Either way, laughter is great medicine.

But I could have used more of it.

Directed by, written by and starring Richard Gabai.

Richard Gabai (he’s in a decent amount of movies, but we haven’t seen any of them) as Ritchie.
Richard Rifkin (Hellboy 2, 8 eps of The Pillars Of The Earth) as W.O.L.A. (World’s Oldest Living Active).
Joe Whyte (The Emperor’s New Groove, Chicken Little) as T.K..
Marc Silverberg (1 ep of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and one other movie. Not much at all!) as Scott.
Troy Donahue (Sex Pot) as Sid Witherspoon, the frat-legend old guy.
Michelle Bauer as Muffin.
Linnea Quigley (again, lots of movies, but none that we’ve seen) as Bambi.
Kevin M. Glover as Cliff.
C. Paul Dempsey as Bud.
Robert Mann as Chip.
These people mostly didn’t go anywhere, becuase these people mostly weren’t talented.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096839/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Uncle Buck (1989)

Claire: 3.2/5 stars, 7.2/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.6/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

I seriously haven’t seen most John Hughes movies. I hadn’t even heard of this one until Jesse mentioned we should get it.

This was somewhat funny, though a lot of the humor did fall into the somewhat sappy humor-category of “look at the odd father figure do odd things, haha”. I feel like this kind of humor is genetically programmed on some sort of level, which diminishes its value a bit.  Maybe the whole movie was just too family for me.

Anyway, I thought it would be a “John Candy Vs. A Family” comedy, but now I know that it was actually a “John Candy Vs. A Teenage Girl” coming-of-age story with comedic moments.  I guess I didn’t know where the story was going to be going. Hell, this may be a rare movie that I would have liked to have seen a trailer for, first. But then I think it would have just ruined the best funny moments.

I’m glad I watched this, though I think it probably would seem more profound AND funnier to a younger viewer.

Carolyn: I saw this when I was young, and I remembered it being funny. I don’t remember how much I liked it at the time, but it was probably about the same as now. Nice light-hearted family comedy about John Candy learning that he can be a family man if he wants to be…

I think as a kid, it didn’t seem so short-attention-spanny to me. For example, the birthday party scene happened so fast that it felt like it was just stuck in there, and I think as a kid, that was a funnier scene. Now the movie seems really rushed, but still funny, and maybe it is good that it is rushed, because it doesn’t get stale.

Directed and written by John Hughes (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Pretty In Pink, Home Alone movies, Flubber, 101 Dalmations, Vacation movies, Planes Trains & Automobiles, She’s Having A Baby, Mr. Mom).

John Candy (RIP) as Buck Russell.
Macaulay Culkin as Miles Russell.
Jean Louisa Kelly (3 eps of Mad About You) as Tia Russell. She got pretty hot.
Gaby Hoffmann (Crystal Fairy in Crystal Fairy, 200 Cigarettes, Sleepless In Seattle) as Maizy Russell.
Amy Madigan (Carnivale, 1 ep of Frasier) as Chanice Kobolowski.
Elaine Bromka (1 ep of Sopranos) as Cindy Russell.
Garrett M. Brown (Kick-Ass‘s dad in the Kick-Ass movies) as Bob Russell.
Laurie Metcalf (Jackie in Roseanne, God The Devil And Bob, Andy’s mom in the Toy Story movies, 3 eps of 3rd Rock From The Sun, 2 eps of Duckman, 1 ep of Malcolm In The Middle) as Marcie Dahlgren-Frost.
Jay Underwood (The Boy Who Could Fly, Not Quite Human movies) as Bug.
Suzanne Shepherd (Requiem For A Dream, The Sopranos, The Jerky Boys, Mystic Pizza) as Mrs. Hogarth. She’s not very memorable.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098554/combined