VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Ted (2012)

4.4/5 stars, 8/10 from both of us.
Native Rating: 4.2/5 stars Netflix, 7.4/10 IMDB.

It’s pretty hard for Seth MacFarlane to do wrong. It’s about time he got a full movie out of his efforts.

This was funny, as well as unique and touching and relevant for the holidays.

I would have perhaps liked it a bit more if it was more risque, but I think I’m just desensitized from all the fucked up shit I watched. Apparently people had issues with things like 911 jokes and cocaine use.

Anyway…. I had a teddy bear when I was little… Though I never wished for him to be real, using such an childhood archtype was a really good device for driving the movie.

This had a lot of fun aspects. Good times.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1637725/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

4.6/5 stars from Clint, 4/5 stars from Carolyn.
8/10 from both of us.
Native rating of 4/5 stars (Netflix) and 7.3/10 (IMDB).

So ridiculously soon for a reboot, yet…. This had aspects no other Spider-Man interpretation has ever had, like a backstory Peter Parker’s parents. And Gwen Stacy instead of Mary-Jane. The Lizard instead of Doc Ock and the Green Goblin.

This movie broke the typical cliches of every Spider-Man first being the exact same story. And that’s something comic books do, y’know? Ultimate Spider-Man, Ultimate X-Men, etc. – Things get rebooted, re-done, re-interpreted, so that good franchises can live forever without getting stale.

But if you do it in a movie people will get mad. Apparently there should be exactly one movie for all things, and whatever is first will be best and should never be redone.

Anyway, this was more emo and awkward than most Spider-Mans, but then, Spider-Man is supposed to be an awkward nerd.  While we could argue Toby MacGuire was satisfactorily nerdy — there’s definitely room to go derper, and the new guy came off as even more awkward and more nerdy.
So that aspect felt truer to the comic. Enough hate already.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0948470/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Rubber (2010)

Clint: 3/5 stars, 6.4/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10. “And that is being VERY generous.”
Native ratings: 3/5 stars Netflix, 5.7/10 IMDB.

Dafuq did I just watch? A movie about a killer tire?!?!

That’s a very unique concept. A good idea if done right. But unfortunatel it was a bit lame.

It had some weird twists, and didn’t make much sense… But it wasn’t trying to.  It was just… weird.

This really could have been an awesome movie. I had higher hopes for it and was let down. They could have really gone somewhere with this.

I was hoping for more of a direct badass parody; something like the movie Machete, but with a rubber tire that violently runs people over, pushes them off cliffs, etc.  But instead it tried to be a slightly pretentious commentary on art in general.

The tire killing people the way it did was the ultimate letdown of the movie and the concept as a whole.

Genre-wise, it’s a bit confusing. It’s comedy disguised as horror. It kind of succeeds at being funny, but not at being great.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1612774/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Clint: 5/5 stars, 8/10. Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 9/10.

Native rating: 4.5/5 stars, 6.0/10.

Produced in part by Tim Burton, directed by Timur Bekmambetov —  the same director as Night Watch and Day Watch — so he already has experience with awesomely-visual surreal worlds involving vampires. Very good choice. I’m glad this guy is doing English-language movies now.

This was an awesome concept. I pretty much instantly knew from the title alone that I would love this movie.

But then… Even despite all that… It completely blew away my expectations. Way more than I thought, and I already thought I’d love it.

I did not catch on that Abe’s wife was Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.

Anyway… Abe Lincoln was already pretty awesome, and this movie made him even cooler than before. Doesn’t matter if it’s fiction. This stoked simultaneous feelings that no other movie has ever stoked before. Great job!

This also wins the award for “best movie idea produced by manatees” (that’s a South Park Vs. Family Guy reference, in case you missed it).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1611224/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

Clint: 3/5 stars, Carolyn: 4/5 stars, both: 7/10.
Native rating: 7.2/10 IMDB, 3.5 stars on Netflix.
So for once, we’re in agreement with the general public.

We’re a sucker for time travel movies, and Aubrey Plaza is awesome in her own way as well… Did you know she’s “like that” in part, possibly, because she had a stroke right before her acting career started? Who knows?

Anyway, because we’re a sucker for time travel movies, this was an obvious choice once I saw a little blurb on it in Rolling Stone magazine.

It turned out to not really be a comedy so much as a romance movie with an interesting sci-fi-based perspective…. But lacking much real sci-fi.

So it was a bit disappointing in that it was kind of a bait and switch into a romance movie with SOME adventure and SOME comedy.

Still interesting, but a few complaints: The agents weren’t really explained/fleshed out as much or as realistically as they could be… And the ending could have maybe had some more exposition. Even the subplot (the paid reporter and his old blonde-turned-redhead squeeze) story didn’t really conclude well enough. . I don’t think that was the end of it — and that kind of annoys me too.

But it was still quite interesting and entertaining. And Aubrey Plaza is awesomely quirky, showing more of a range here than she’s typically been allowed in past roles.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1862079/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Men In Black 3 (2012)

We’re fans of the first 2 movies AND the animated series (which is friggin’ awesome), so of course we’d be watching this!

Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Clint: 4.4/5 stars, 8.4/10. Maybe I should give this 5 stars. It was pretty awesome. I love time travel.
Parthena: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Eli: 4/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: Netflix: 4/5 stars, IMDB 7.0/10.

Carolyn: I’m a sucker for Men In Black, and I enjoyed it immensely.

Parthena: I really really liked the movie, but one tiny thing I noticed- in the beginning, when Agent J went to the young guy in the store to get the time-travel device, the guy shouldn’t have acted surprised to see those weird jelly-fish things on the tvs in the background- he seemed surprised, and said something like, “Oh, yeah, I guess me sending Boris back did change things,”etc.  But if Boris had succeeded in changing the entire timeline, Dude in Store would have no idea that anything had ever been different than the way it currently was-hopefully that makes sense.  Not a huge deal but just a tiny timeline-continuity thing that I noticed. :)

Eli: I really enjoyed it.  Surprising for a third in the series.

Matthew: It was pretty good. The whole time travel thing was confusing to both Julie and I, but those types of situations in movies always seem to be a little hard to follow. Overall it was a good, fun experience. It didn’t really lag or drag on, it was pretty smooth flowing throughout. There were some holes in the plot, like what happened to those motorcycle type things they were riding and the Ford Galaxie that was on fire? How did the bad guy get from the moon to earth? Did he just swim through space? Whatever, it was still fun.

Julie: I liked the movie. I did like the fact that I didn’t have to have seen the first two to figure out what was happening. I really hate when movies in a series require you to have seen all the previous ones to follow the plot.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1409024/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Starship Troopers: Invasion (2012) (anim)

3/5 stars, 7/10 from the both of us.
Native rating: Netflix 3.2/5 stars, IMDB 5.8/10.

A nice coda to the movies & the Roughnecks animated series.

This really opens up possibilities for the story to progress much further than it ever has… But will we ever see anything out of the Starship Troopers franchise again?

After watching all 3 movies, the 40 episodes of the Roughnecks cgi series, and even the shitty anime version — how much more steam can Starship Troopers have?

Time for a reboot?

Hell no, I’d much rather then continue the story further, beyond the realm the books ever went to.

Actually… Instead of making this fucking movie, they should have concluded the final unfinished story arc of the Roughnecks series. In a way, this movie is like spitting in our faces, spitefully saying “we could have finished Rougnecks, but no, fuck you, we’ll make this instead”.

But it’s still better than nothing. And to many, better than Starship Troopers 2 & 3.

But not to us — we LIKED the sequels, especially Starship Troopers 3.

I would like to know more.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2085930/