VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Gridlock’d (1997)

Clint: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.7/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

So…. first movie we watch this year opens with a New Year’s Eve countdown… What are the odds of that? Compute them for me, please.

Carolyn’s thoughts:  I thought this was going to be more of a caper, but it turned out to not be as funny as I was hoping.  It was more a commentary about how messed up the system is for drug addicts who want to get help to kick the habit.  It was pretty interesting, and it was lighthearted enough to not bring us down too much.

Clint: I can still see why this has “comedy” listed as one of its IMDB genres, but I should have noticed “Comedy | Crime | Drama” having “drama” right there at the end.  If the only thing between drama and comedy is crime, then it verges on dramedy territory. I hate expecting humor and getting little. But this still had comedic elements all the way through to the end. It was kind of a black comedy. Depressing yet unexpectedly funny at the same time.  I don’t know that I’d recommend it, but it had its interesting moments.

Written & directed by Vondie Curtis-Hall (directed 1 ep of Firefly).

Starring Tupac Shakur as Ezekiel ‘Spoon’ Whitmore. One of the last 2 movies he appeared in.
Tim Roth (Mr. Orange in Reservoir Dogs, The Incredible Hulk (2008), Funny Games, The Cook The Thief His Wife & Her Lover) as Alexander ‘Stretch’ Rawland.
Thandie Newton (2012, Run Fatboy Run, The Chronicles Of Riddick, Interview With The Vampire, Mission Impossible 2, 1 ep of American Dad) as Barbara ‘Cookie’ Cook.
Lucy Liu as Cee-Cee. (Why the hell didn’t I recognize her?)
Charles Fleischer (Roger Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, A Nightmare On Elm Street, Dick Tracy, Gross Anatomy, 1 ep of Men In Black:TAS, 1 ep of God The Devil And Bob, 1 ep of Weird Science, 1 ep of Lois & Clark) as Mr. Woodson.
Howard Hesseman (Halloween 2 (2009), WKRP In Cincinnati, 7 eps of Soap, 3 eps of That 70’s Show) as Blind Man.
James Pickens Jr. (19 eps of The X-Files, 19 eps of Roseanne, 2 eps of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 2 eps of Six Feet Under) as Supervisor.
Tom Towles (Rob Zombie’s Halloween, Grindhouse, The Devil’s Rejects, Night Of The Living Dead, 1 ep of Firefly, 1 ep of Malcolm In The Middle) as D-Reper’s Henchman.
Tom Wright (The Onion Movie, Live!, 2 eps of 24, 1 ep of Nip/Tuck) as Koolaid.
Richmond Arquette (A Midsummer’s Night Rave, Rob Zombie’s Halloween, Smashed, Scream 3, Fight Club, Se7en, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button) as Resident Doctor.
Vondie Curtis-Hall (Die Hard 2, 1 ep of The Sopranos, and the director of this movie) as D-Reper.


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Supernatural Activity (2012)

Carolyn: 2.4/5 stars, 5/10.
Clint: 2.4/5 stars, 5/10 (mostly deferring to Carolyn’s rating here).
Native ratings: 2.4/5 stars Netflix, 2.9/10 IMDB.

Review by Carolyn: This was alright.  It started off slow, and didn’t really pick up that much.  However, it did get slightly more funny near the end, but not enough to redeem itself.  I enjoyed the characterizations, but the execution wasn’t that great.

We both thought of the movie Grave Encounters when they were talking about how the show is faked.  That movie was better than this one.

Speaking of the ending, it was confusing.  Clint tried to ask me to explain it to him.  The ending made about 57% sense to me, and my understanding wasn’t enough to be able to explain it to Clint.  Basically, there was some confusion about  different hairstyles (I’ll just leave it at that…).  I was like “It wasn’t that good, and it didn’t make that much sense.  How am I supposed to explain an ending to a movie that wasn’t that good?”

Clint’s thoughts: I had a rut of movies I didn’t remember very well after watching, and this was one of them. Just not that great. Mildly entertaining at best.



3/5 stars, 7/10 from both of us.

Native ratings: 3.7/5 (Netflix guess for us=3.6/5), 7.0/10.

So for once, we rated lower than average. Probably because we despise sports. Yet, this was a quite serviceable sports comedy, and I have no regrets watching it. We laughed. And apparently it’s a “true” story, albeit turned into a comedy. A bloody, bloody comedy.

However, the ONLY reason I convinced myself to watch this was that it was co-written by a  writer who worked on Pineapple Express, Superbad, Da Ali G Show, and The Green Hornet. And the other co-writer? Jay Barchel, the gangly kid from Undeclared, Knocked Up, Tropic Thunder, Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Fanboys, & The Rules Of Attraction.

Actores include Seann William Scott (Stifler from American Pie) — who seemed to be breaking his previous acting range, playing a soft-spoken, humble character, instead of a full-of-himself asshole. His acting was actually a treat. Also with Alison Pill (Kim Pine from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World), Liev Schrieber (Sabretooth from the X-Men movies, Cotton Weary from Scream 1-3), and Eugene Levy.

Yea, this was an enjoyable sports comedy. And most people seemed to like it even more than we did.

“Two rules, man: 1) Stay away from my fuckin’ percocets; and 2) Do you have any fucking percocets, man?”


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Siblings (2004)

Clint: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 6.5/10 IMDB. Not available on Netflix.

This was an interesting Christmas choice! A completely subversive christmas message counter to all the bullshit family movies that are usually forced down our throat this time of year.

This is one you want me to spoil the premise of, beucase you’ve never heard of it, it’s not on Netflix, and you likely will never watch it anyway.  And I think the spoiler is in the actual 1-line IMDB summary.  I.E. You’re supposed to know what happens before going on. So here we go.

This is a movie about 4 siblings whose cool grandfather dies, so they kill their FUCKING ASSHOLE parents. Seriously… Their parents are just awful. Incredibly awful. In every imaginable possible way. They don’t dwell on the awfulness too much: Just enough to establish that each parent is a total piece of shit to at least 2 of the 4 kids.  Most of the movie is focusing on the siblings. Ergo the title.

This is listed as a black comedy, and that is definitely true. It’s mostly not funny — and you don’t really laugh out loud — but the way everything works out is slightly uplifting in a dark, morbid way. Sometimes murder is good.  Sometimes killing your parents is good. Merry Christmas.

You don’t smile much when watching the movie. It’s more of a cringer. But you smile at the end. That’s what counts. While not  THAT spectacular, it holds interest, and celebrates the Christmas spirit. Sort of.

While not our favorite movie, I still sort of think it is a must see for anybody who likes morbid subversion of christmas holidays sprikled with a little murder.

Merry Christmas.

Directed by David Weaver.
Written by Jackie May.

Alex Campbell (2 eps of Goosebumps) as Joe, the older brother.
Sarah Gadon (The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Total Drama, 1 ep of The Dating Guy) as Margaret, the older sister.
Samantha Weinstein as Danielle, the younger sister.
Andrew Chalmers as Pete, the younger brother.
Sarah Polley (Mr. Nobody, eXistenZ, The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen, Splice, Dawn Of The Dead, Exotica, Go, 1 ep of Friday The 13th: The Series) as Tabby.
Paul Soles (The Incredible Hulk (2008), Spider-Man in the 1967 Spider-Man series, Bruce Banner in a 1966 Hulk series, also in an Iron Man 1966 series, 3 eps of a Captain American 1966 series) as Grandpa.
Nicholas Campbell (Antiviral, Hank in Naked Lunch, Goon) as Dad.
Sonja Smits (Videodrome) as Mom.
Tom McCamus (Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning, Tangled, 2 eps of Friday The 13th: The Series, 1 ep of Puppets Who Kill) as Mr. Phillips.
Aaron Abrams (Simon in Producing Parker, Jesus Henry Christ, YPF (Young People Fucking), Resident Evil 2, 1 ep of The Dating Guy) as Pastor.
Joan Heney (Detroit Rock City) as Agnes.
Martha Burns as Miss Bradford.
Shawn Roberts (Resident Evil 4-5, Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief, Jumper, X-Men) as Tom Muster.


VIDEO: SHOWS: REVIEW: Todd & The Book Of Pure Evil (2010)

“Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Dazed and Confused meets Tales From the Crypt wrapped inside a GWAR video”

This show is one of the awesomest things I have ever witnessed on television.

Not the BEST.. But one of the awesomest.

Check out John The Canadien’s review of this show, which he watched based on my recommendation! Thanks John!



An animated comedy movie? Yes!

Oh, it’s done in 8-bit style? Double yes!

And it’s about a washed up, failing 1980s synthpop band?!?!?!  Triple yes.

Must see this when it comes out!


VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Joysticks (1983)

7/10 from both of us (IMDB rating is only 3.2/10!). 3/5 stars from Carolyn, 4/5 from Clint (Netflix rating is 2.7/5, with a prediction of 3.0 for us.)

OMFG this was a TOTALLY RIDICULOUS cheesy screwball unrealistic 1980s comedy about a video arcade. Think FOOTLOOSE, but with video games instead of dancing.

Get a chance to see Larry’s always-silent, other-brother-Darryl from the 80’s Newhart sitcom — not just in a speaking role, but also sometimes in drag!

This also stars Uncle Rico from Napoloeon Dynamite, as a video-junkie punk – “KING VIDIOT” – who just wants to hang out at the video arcade with the snobby cool kids. Yes, you heard me right: The snobby cool kids (and topless chicks) all want to hang out at the video game arcade.

NOT UNREALISTIC ENOUGH? Ante up! Dude takes 2 girls back to his private office where he has a strip video game, and they have a threesome while playing the videogame.

Carolyn liked it better than she thought it would. She was resistant to this movie, yet I had to tell her that I observed her laughing and laughing and laughing out loud over and over many many times through the movie — as did I.

This exceeded my low expectations and is actually funnier than a lot of A-movie comedies out there.


opening theme / beginning of movie: