VIDEO: MOVIES/CARTOONS/COMIC BOOKS: REVIEW: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 (1993)

Claire: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 5.7/10.
Native ratings: 3.1/5 stars Netflix, 4.7/10 IMDB.

Oh joy: Corey Feldman returns as Donatello.  He had a lot of lines, this time.  Maybe he was all fucked up during the first movie and they had to throw away a lot of his lines?  It seemed like in TMNT1, Donatello was almost totally ignored *BECAUSE* he was Corey Feldman.  Not so, this time.

So anyway, this was a completely different kind of plot that did not involve The Shredder.  It was kind of a one-off plot that had nothing to do with the standard TMNT plot. TIME TRAVEL?  Unnecessary. But since they go to feudal Japan, it is at least relevant and not totally contrived.

It was mostly entertaining though, and definitely not as cheesy or corny as the second movie. And with more fights. So it’s one of those rare threequels that’s better than the sequel.

Except the suits. The turtle suits on the actors were inferior and looked stupider. Can’t win them all.

Written & directed by Stuart Gillard (directed 20 eps of the new 90210, writer of 1 ep of Mork & Mindy, 1 ep of Three’s Company).

Starring:

All three movies:
Robbie Rist (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1, Sharknado, Michelangelo in a 2011 fanmade movie called Casey Jones, 1 ep of Jackie Chan Adventures, 1 ep of Batman-TAS) as Michaelangelo (voice).
Brian Tochi (Police Academy 3-4, Revenge Of The Nerds 3, 10 eps of Johnny Bravo, 4 eps of Avatar: The Last Airbender, 2 eps of The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy, 1 ep of Family Guy, 1 ep of Samurai Jack) as Leonardo (voice).
From the second movie only:
Paige Turco (18 eps of Party Of Five, 18 eps of Guiding Light, 16 eps of All My Children) as April O’Neil.
Mark Caso as Leonardo / News Room Staff.

From the first movie:
Corey Feldman as Donatello (voice).
Elias Koteas (A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, Let Me In, Defendor, Last Days On Mars, Shutter Island, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, Exotica) as Casey Jones.

New people:
Tim Kelleher (Independence Day, The Birdcage, 2 eps of American Dad, 1 ep of 24, 1 ep of Six Feet Under) as Raphael (voice).
Stuart Wilson (Hot Fuzz, Lethal Weapon 3) as Walker.
Sab Shimono (Uncle in Jackie Chan Adventures, Gung Ho, Waterworld, The Shadow, 6 eps of Avatar: The Last Airbender, 3 eps of Samurai Jack, 2 eps of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series, 1 ep of The Boondocks, 1 ep of Max Headroom) as Lord Norinaga.
Vivian Wu (1 ep of Tales From The Crypt) as Mitsu.
Matt Hill (Soarin’ in My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, Havok in X-Men: Evolution, SheZow, Ed in Ed, Edd, n Eddy) as Raphael.
Jim Raposa as Donatello.
David Fraser (11 eps of Sailor Moon) as Michaelangelo.
James Murray (Susan The Monster in Greg The Bunny, The Brave Little Toaster Goes To Mars, uncredited student puppeteer in Being John Malkovich, 3 eps of Life With Louie) as Splinter.
Eidan Hanzei (Crank 2, 1 ep of Heroes, 1 ep of Sherman Oaks) as Kenshin.
John Aylward (Armageddon, 2 eps of Carnivale, 2 eps of Third Rock From The Sun, 1 ep of Nip/Tuck) as Niles.
Tad Horino (The Kentucky Fried Movie, Mulholland Dr., Bill & Ted‘s Bogus Journey) as Grandfather.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108308/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES/CARTOONS/COMIC BOOKS: REVIEW: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

Claire: 3/5 stars, 5.9/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 5.6/10.
Native ratings: 3.5/5 stars Netflix, 5.9/10 IMDB.

Claire’s thoughts: I was thinking this was pretty good, and would end up 4/5 stars like I rated the last one… And maybe 7/10 like the last one. But no. God no. Things really took a drastic turn for the worse when vanilla ice appeared and shit got ultra-corny.

Also, I find the whole idea of a caged rat learning martial arts a bit ridiculous – Even in a world where teenage mutant ninja turtles exist, it is still utterly fucking implausible that a rat in a cage learned kung fu by watching and imitating his master. And he’s always on their case about being teenagers… But rats only live 4 years. So he’s at most 23 himself.

But anyway… When you end with a song and a dance, you know you’ve lost that loving feeling.  Apparently Frank Oz or someone complained that TMNT 1 was too violent, so this one was more family friendly.

At least it wasn’t horrible.

Carolyn’s thoughts: Donatello was much more fleshed out in this one. At one point, I asked Claire, “See how many lines Donatello has now?” The difference is definitely noticeable. This one definitely was more cheesy and corny than the first one. (I think they tried to tone down the violence since Jim Henson was apparently upset about how violent the first one was.) Definitely jumped the shark when they had a Vanilla Ice rap.

Directed by Michael Pressman (2 eps of Weeds).

Written by Todd W. Langen (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1, 7 eps of The Wonder Years) & Bobby Herbeck (3 eps of Small Wonder, 1 ep of Diff’rent Strokes).

Starring:

From the first movie:

Robbie Rist (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1, Sharknado, Michelangelo in a 2011 fanmade movie called Casey Jones, 1 ep of Jackie Chan Adventures, 1 ep of Batman-TAS) as Michaelangelo (voice).
Brian Tochi (Police Academy 3-4, Revenge Of The Nerds 3, 10 eps of Johnny Bravo, 4 eps of Avatar: The Last Airbender, 2 eps of The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy, 1 ep of Family Guy, 1 ep of Samurai Jack) as Leonardo (voice).
David McCharen (Men At Work, Ice Age 3) as The Shredder / Oroko Saki (voice).
Michael McConnohie (Resident Evil: Damnation, 1 ep of Wolverine anime, and a lot of video games and anime including Dragon Ball and Robotech) as Tatsu (voice).
Kevin Clash (Elmo in Sesame Street) as Splinter (voice).
Michelan Sisti as Michaelangelo / Soho Man.
Leif Tilden as Donatello / Foot #3.
Toshishiro Obata as Tatsu.
Raymond Serra as Chief Sterns.

Someone who was in the first movie, but as a different character:

Kenn Scott (Talkative Foot #2 in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1) as Raphael (as Kenn Troum). WHAT A PROMOTION!

New people:
Laurie Faso (The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, 18 eps of The Transformers, 1 ep of Jesse) as Raphael (voice).
Adam Carl (1 ep of Batman-TAS, 3 eps of Designing Women, 3 eps of Who’s The Boss?) as Donatello (voice). Corey Feldman is out.
Paige Turco (18 eps of Party Of Five, 18 eps of Guiding Light, 16 eps of All My Children) as April O’Neil. This is the movie of the 3 movies that she is the hottest in, though the red hair is missed.
David Warner (Archmage in Gargoyles, Ra’s Al Ghul in Batman, In The Mouth Of Madness, Lord Downey in Hogfather, Sweeney Todd, Avatar, Black Death, 9 eps of Men In Black: The Series) as Professor Jordon Perry.
Mark Caso as Leonardo / News Room Staff. He’ll be back in TMNT 3.
Ernie Reyes Jr. (Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, Rush Hour 2) as Keno.
François Chau (Lethal Weapon 4, 11 eps of G.I. Joe (1980s), 2 eps of Childrens Hospital, 1 ep of 24) as Shredder (as Francois Chau).
Mark Ginther (Iron Man 3, 1 ep of Buffy The Vampire Slayer) as Rahzar.
Kurt Bryant (1 ep of Titus) as Tokka.
Kevin Nash (he’s a wrestler, Grandma’s Boy) as Super Shredder.
and of course, Frank Welker as Rahzar / Tokka (voice).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103060/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES/CARTOONS/COMIC BOOKS: REVIEW: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Claire: 4/5 stars, 6.6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6.6/10.
Native ratings: Netflix sucks, 6.7/10 IMDB.

I am in a unique position of having never been exposed to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles until 2013. I’d not read one comic book (not even one panel), nor seen even one animated second of any TMNT cartoon.  When the new CGI animated series came out in 2013, I decided to give it a shot to see what I’d been missing…. And we both love it. It’s nice to have a lighthearted superhero cartoon to go with all our slightly-more-serious Marvel/DC-type superhero cartoons.

SO I’M FINALLY SEEING SOMETHING TMNT FROM THE 20TH CENTURY by watching all 3 movies this week. About goddamn time.

And y’know what? The new cartoon is better.  I probably wouldn’t have liked this nearly as much without priming up with the new version. And now I’m ready for the Michael Bay version. Bring it on, Michael. There’s nothing you can do to me that you haven’t done before. My body is ready.

Carolyn’s thoughts: I had watched the original animated series when it was on back in the 80’s, but when the movies came out, I wasn’t interested. Nowadays, I don’t remember that much from the original series, but we’ve been watching the new animated series. The new animated series is actually really good. Back to this movie, some of the jokes fell flat. It might have been better if I watched this when I was younger, because maybe it just didn’t live up to the test of time. I don’t remember much of the original series, but now that I’m comparing it to the new series, maybe that is why I didn’t enjoy it as much.

I don’t remember how Donatello was in the original series, but he really seemed like a throwaway character in this movie. I noticed that they barely touched Donatello’s character in this movie, and he just came across as really really lame. And then I found out Corey Feldman did his voice, and it was the worst voice. Poor Corey Feldman. It’s almost like he sucked so bad that they didn’t give him very many lines, or maybe he said a lot more originally and they cut it all out. I don’t know.

Directed by Steve Barron (Coneheads, The Adventures Of Pinocchio).

Written by Todd W. Langen (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, 7 eps of The Wonder Years) & Bobby Herbeck (3 eps of Small Wonder, 1 ep of Diff’rent Strokes).

Starring:
Judith Hoag (Salt, Armageddon, 1 ep of Weeds, 1 ep of Dream On, 1 ep of Mad About You) as April O’Neil.
Corey Feldman as Donatello (voice).
Josh Pais (Michael & Michael Have Issues, Adventureland, Synecdoche New York, Scream 3, 1 ep of The Sopranos) as Raphael (voice).
David McCharen (Men At Work, Ice Age 3) as The Shredder / Oroko Saki (voice).
Michael McConnohie (Resident Evil: Damnation, 1 ep of Wolverine anime, and a lot of video games and anime including Dragon Ball and Robotech) as Tatsu (voice).
Elias Koteas (A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, Let Me In, Defendor, Last Days On Mars, Shutter Island, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, Exotica) as Casey Jones.
Sam Rockwell (Zaphod Beeblebrox in The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (2005), Iron Man 2, Galaxy Quest, Seven Psychopaths, A Case Of You, Heist) as Head Thug.
Kenn Scott (Raphael in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2) as Talkative Foot #2.
Robbie Rist (Sharknado, Michelangelo in a 2011 fanmade movie called Casey Jones, 1 ep of Jackie Chan Adventures, 1 ep of Batman-TAS) as Michaelangelo (voice).
Brian Tochi (Police Academy 3-4, Revenge Of The Nerds 3, 10 eps of Johnny Bravo, 4 eps of Avatar: The Last Airbender, 2 eps of The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy, 1 ep of Family Guy, 1 ep of Samurai Jack) as Leonardo (voice).
Kevin Clash (Elmo in Sesame Street) as Splinter (voice).
James Saito (Life Of Pi, The Devil’s Advocate, Die Hard 2) as The Shredder / Oroko Saki.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100758/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Iron Man 3 (2013)

Claire: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 3.9/5 stars Netflix, 7.4/10 IMDB.

Claire’s thoughts: Man… That movie was a bit hazy for me. I enjoyed myself, but I often didn’t have a clue what the plot was. Alcohol is a hell of a drug!

Carolyn’s thoughts: This one didn’t seem to have the same Iron Man charm as the first and second movies, but it was still good overall.  I don’t think it had as much of the comedic elements as the other Iron Man movies, and the Avengers movie.  Oh, this one was directed by someone else, and not Jon Favreau, so that probably explains the different feel.

Claire: It seems as comedic if you’re drunk! But then it’s hard to know what’s going on.

Well anyway… At least this was another Iron Man movie. I’d watch 100 of these. The end.

Directed by Shane Black (writer of the Lethal Weapon movies).
Written by Drew Pearce and Shane Black.

Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark.
Gwyneth Paltrow (Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow, The Royal Tenenbaums, Se7en, Contagion) as Pepper Potts.
Don Cheadle (Ocean’s Eleven movies, Hotel Rwanda) as Colonel James Rhodes.
Guy Pearce (Memento, Prometheus, The Count Of Monte Cristo, The Time Machine (2002), L.A. Confidential, The Hurt Locker) as Aldrich Killian.
Rebecca Hall (Vicky in Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Dorian Gray) as Maya Hansen.
Jon Favreau as Happy Hogan.
Ben Kingsley (Ender’s Game, The Dictator, Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time, The Wackness, A.I. Artificial Intelligence, Sneakers) as Trevor Slattery.
James Badge Dale (World War Z, 24) as Savin.
Stephanie Szostak (R.I.P.D., Dinner For Schmucks, 1 ep of The Sopranos) as Brandt.
Paul Bettany (The Da Vinci Code) as Jarvis.
William Sadler (Machete Kills, The Shawshank Redemption, Freaked, Bill & Ted‘s Bogus Journey, Die Hard 2) as President Ellis.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1300854/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Red 2 (2013)

Claire: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 3.7/5 stars Netflix, 6.7/10 IMDB.

Carolyn’s thoughts: This was on par with the first one.  Some action, some comedy, some government politics. Mary-Louise Parker‘s character grows and gains experience.

Claire’s thoughts: How do they keep making Helen Mirren look so good when she’s 68 fucking years old?  Yay Hollywood makeup artists? But anyway, I don’t remember the first movie that well. I mostly just remember how much I liked it. And I like this movie pretty much that same amount.  I think maybe this one didn’t feel as comic-book-y as the last one.  And yes, these kinds of movies are a bit formulaic.  But the fact that it stayed funny is kind of what Red movies are: Comedy-Action movies that are over-the-top and unrealistic.

Daniel Hagan’s adds: “Yeah, they’re empty calories – fun to watch but not particularly notable from a cinema viewpoint”

And since we can never get enough comedy at our house — and prefer comedy to action — it’s great to get both at once.

Plus the cast was great. Anthony Hopkins was particularly fun to watch.

Directed by Dean Parisot (Galaxy Quest, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of The Tick live-action series).
Written by Jon Hoeber (Red 1) & Erich Hoeber (Red 1).

Starring some of the same people from the first movie:
Bruce Willis as Frank.
John Malkovich as Marvin.
Mary-Louise Parker (Nancy Botwin from Weeds, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Fried Green Tomatoes) as Sarah.
Helen Mirren (Deep Thought in The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, Georgina Spica in The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover, National Treasure: Book Of Secrets, 1 ep of French & Saunders) as Victoria.
Brian Cox (Captain O’Hagan in Super Troopers, The Campaign, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, X-Men 2: X2, Adaptation, Fantastic Mr. Fox, narrator in The Color Of Magic, The Bourne Identity movies, Troy) as Ivan.

Plus some new people:

Anthony Hopkins (Hannibal Lecter in The Silence Of The Lambs, Odin in the Thor movies, Beowulf, Titus) as Bailey. A great performance.
Byung-hun Lee (G.I. Joe movies) as Han Cho Bai.
Catherine Zeta-Jones (The Mask Of Zorro, Ocean’s 11, Traffic, Rock Of Ages, Side Effects) as Katja.
Neal McDonough (Captain America: The First Avenger, Minority Report, 8 eps of Band Of Brothers) as Jack Horton.
David Thewlis (Remus Lupin in the Harry Potter movies, The Big Lebowski) as The Frog.
Wahab Sheikh (Trance) as Iranian Clerk.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1821694/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Wolverine (2013)

Claire: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Carolyn: 4.6/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Evan: 4/5 stars.
Native ratings: 3.7/5 stars Netflix, 6.8/10 IMDB.

Watched in 3-D: I’ve noticed it’s really hard for me to rate 3-D movies, because the 3-d distracts me from my normal train of thought. I think some of my being-impressed-with gets transferred from the content of the movie into the spectacle of 3-D.

But hey — I guess I loved this movie, ’cause superhero stuff kicks ass, so i guess that’s 5 stars.  But I was’t orgasming over it, so I guess it’s a low 5 stars, so I guess I agree with Carolyn’s 4.6/5 rating.

Love Marvel. Love mutants. Love the X-Men. Love Wolverine. It’s almost impossible for Marvel to screw up; these movies are barely worth reviewing because they’re incredibly consistent to us.

Carolyn’s thoughts: Entertaining movie about Wolverine and the Mariko story origin. I’m looking forward to the sequel, if it ever comes out.  We love the comic superheros and I’m glad they are continuing to make them into movies.  The 3-D was alright, but didn’t seem as spectacular as it could have been.  Judging from the quality of the mountains at the beginning that Claire noticed, maybe it was converted to 3-D.
Evan: That fake mountain was pretty hilarious. Is it wrong that I like the ninja guy better then Hawkeye? (As a ranger-type character.) The 3-D is always better at your place, so my ratings typically go up a notch when I rewatch stuff there. I’d give wolvy a 4. Not enough action.

Directed by James Mangold (Kate & Leopold, Girl Interrupted, Knight And Day).
Written by Mark Bomback (Fifty Shades Of Grey, Total Recall remake) and Scott Frank (Get Shorty, Minority Report, Dead Again).

Starring Hugh Jackman (X-Men movies, Movie 43, Rise Of The Guardians, Van Helsing, Kate & Leopold) as Logan.
Tao Okamoto as Mariko.
Rila Fukushima as Yukio.
Hiroyuki Sanada (Ring & Ring 2, Speed Racer, 5 eps of Lost) as Shingen.
Svetlana Khodchenkova as Viper.
Brian Tee (1 ep of The Problem Solverz, 1 ep of Sym-Bionic Titan) as Noburo.
Hal Yamanouchi as Yashida.
Will Yun Lee (Total Recall remake) as Harada.
Famke Janssen (The Faculty, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, The Wackness, The Ten, 11 eps of Nip/Tuck) as Jean Grey.
Ian McKellen as Magneto (uncredited).
Patrick Stewart as Charles Xavier (uncredited).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1430132/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Man Of Steel (2013) [watched in 3-d]

Claire: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Carolyn: 4.6/5 stars, 9/10.
Evan: 4.3/5 stars, 9/10.
Native ratings: 4.0/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

I knew this would be a movie I loved… Although I had my doubts because the last Superman movie wasn’t that memorable. (Though checking my notes, I said it was as good as any other Superman movie. Of course those other ones were late 1970s/early 1980s, so of course something made in the 2000s will generally be comparable just by the fact that movies are much more well done nowadays).

Suffice to say, I was not disappointed.

Very entertaining.  Superman origin story with LOTS of action.  LOTS. The action barely let up, even for a moment.  Those were literally some of the most epic fight scenes I’ve seen in my entire life. Especially if you don’t count animation.  Superheroes are awesome, and this was awesome.

I like how they made it a point to not spend too much time on his childhood. I like to think of that as a “fuck you” to Smallville’s later, shitty seasons. Incindentally, at least 5 people from this movie played in at least 1 episode of Smallville. Amy Adams (S1E7), Mackenzie Gray (S5E15,S10E1), Tahmoh Penikett (S6E19/21,S3E15), Alessandro Juliani (14 S8 eps), and David Paetkau (S1E3,S8E15).

One complaint: Everyone had way too visible pores. I do not need to be THAT aware of y’alls’ pores!

 

Directed by Zack Snyder (Sucker Punch, Watchmen, Legend Of The Guardians: The Owls Of Ga’Hoole, 300, Dawn Of The Dead (2004))
Written by David S. Goyer (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises, Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance, The Crow 2, Jumper, Blade: The Series) and Christopher Nolan (Inception, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises, Memento, Following).

Henry Cavill (The Count Of Monte Cristo) as Clark Kent / Kal-El.
Amy Adams (Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby, Psycho Beach Party, Cruel Intentions 2, 3 eps of The Office, 3 eps of King Of The Hill, 1 ep of Smallville) as Lois Lane.
Michael Shannon (Cecil B. DeMented, Groundhog Day, 8 Mile, Vanilla Sky, 1 ep of Delocated) as General Zod.
Diane Lane (Jumper, Judge Dredd) as Martha Kent.
“Oh my God, it’s Russell Crowe” as Jor-El. Took 3 of us to come up with who he was. Claire: “Isn’t that what’s his name? The guy who went fightin’ round the world in South Park.” Carolyn: “That’d be Russell Crowe.” Evan: “Yes, that is Russell Crowe.”
Kevin Costner as Jonathan Kent.
Antje Traue (Pandorum) as Faora-Ul, Zod’s right-hand woman.
Harry Lennix (Commander Lock in The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions, 6 eps of 24) as General Swanwick.
Richard Schiff (Se7en, Deep Impact, Speed, The Hudsucker Proxy, Ghost In The Machine, 1 ep of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles) as Dr. Emil Hamilton, the scientist.
Christopher Meloni (Chris Keller in Oz, Green Lantern in Green Lantern: First Flight, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, Wet Hot American Summer, Twelve Monkeys, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, Junior, 1 ep of Michael & Michael Have Issues) as Colonel Nathan Hardy.
Ayelet Zurer (Angels & Demons) as Lara Lor-Van.
Laurence Fishburne (The Colony, Morpheus in The Matrix movies, Silver Surfer in Fantastic 4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer, Contagion, Mission Impossible 3, Mystic River, Apocalypse Now) as Perry White.
Dylan Sprayberry (Spaced, 1 ep of MADtv) as Clark Kent (13 Years).
Richard Cetrone (he’s usually a stuntman, but he plays The Headless Horseman in a Sleepy Hollow TV series, a werewolf/merman in The Cabin In The Woods, a lyncan creature in Underworld: Awakening, Hunter Morlock in The Time Machine, CJ in Sucker Punch) as Tor-An.
Mackenzie Gray (The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus, Iron Man: Armored Adventures, 2 eps of Smallville) as Jax-Ur.
Julian Richings (Atticus’s father in Todd And The Book Of Pure Evil, and Satan in the 2003 Todd And The Book Of Pure Evil, Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief, X-Men: The Last Stand, Detroit Rock City, Mimic, Naked Lunch) as Lor-Em.
Mary Black (Mrs. Henderson in Fido, The Wicker Man, ) as Ro-Zar.
Michael Kelly (The Adjustment Bureau, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Unbreakable, 6 eps of The Sopranos) as Steve Lombard.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0770828/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Red (2010)

4/5 stars, 8/10 from both of us.

This was pretty good. It was more action than comedy, but the comedy was there. Not quite a 100%-serious movie. John Malkovich’s character was the comic relief. Imagine that.

That DC Comics had its name attached to the credits surprised us. We didn’t know this was a comic book movie. That really added to things. And helped explain the feel. Retired CIA operative being forced to go rogue. Respect for your elders. It works, and makes a fun movie. Nothing unique, but fun nonetheless. I’ll watch the sequels.

Directed by Robert Schwentke (The Time Traveler’s Wife).
written by Jon Hoeber (we haven’t seen his other movies) & Erich Hoeber (we haven’t seen his other movies).

Starring Bruce Willis as Frank Moses.
Morgan Freeman as Joe Matheson.
John Malkovich as Marvin Boggs. Originally it was gonna be John C. Reilly!!!
Mary-Louise Parker (Nancy Botwin from Weeds, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Fried Green Tomatoes) as Sarah Ross.
Also Julian McMahon (Christian Troy from Nip/Tuck, Dr. Doom in the Fantastic 4 movies) as vice president Robert Stanton.

Karl Urban (Judge Dredd from Dredd, Bones in the Star Trek reboots, Eomer in the Lord Of The Rings movies, Julius Caesar in Xena: Warrior Princess, 2 eps of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Ghost Ship, The Chronicles Of Riddick, The Bourne Supremacy) as William Cooper, the CIA operative ordered to bring in Frank Moses.
Ernest Borgnine (doorman in The Single Guy, Gattaca, BASEketball, Renegade aka Blueberry, Mermaid Man in Spongebob Squarepants) as Henry, The Records Keeper.
Chris Owens (The Incredible Hulk (2008), 13 eps of The X-Files, additional voices in Saw 6 and Saw 7) as Hanged Man.
Jaqueline Fleming (Harriet Tubman in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter) as Marna.
Jefferson Brown (Silent Hill: Revelation 3D) as Fred.
Audrey Wasilewski (3 eps of Sym-Bionic Titan, 3 eps of Family Guy, Rosie O’Donnell in Queer Duck: The Movie) as Businesswoman.
James Remar (Harry Morgan in Dexter, Django Unchained, Narrator in The FP. X-Men: First Class, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, Pineapple Express, Ratatouille, 4 eps of Justice League, The Girl Next Door) as Gabriel Singer.
Brian Cox (Captain O’Hagan in Super Troopers, The Campaign, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, X-Men 2: X2, Adaptation, Fantastic Mr. Fox, narrator in The Color Of Magic, The Bourne Identity movies, Troy) as Ivan Simonov.
Helen Mirren (Deep Thought in The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, Georgina Spica in The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover, National Treasure: Book Of Secrets, 1 ep of French & Saunders) as Victoria.
Richard Dreyfuss (4 eps of Weeds, Jaws, Close Encounters Of The Third Kind, James And The Giant Peach) as Alexander Dunning.
Rebecca Pidgeon (we haven’t seen her stuff) as Cynthia Wilkes, the CIA boss.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1245526/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: CARTOONS: REVIEW: Superman: Unbound (2013)

Claire: 4.4/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Carolyn: 4.6/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Native ratings: 3.7/5 stars Netflix, 6.4/10 IMDB.

This one was still good, but it didn’t seem as good as the last movies. This wasn’t Bruce Timm’s work.

But it’s still pretty damn good, because we love us some superhero cartoons! Especially ones not made for TV.

That being said… How many times do we have to watch Superman fight off Braniac? It seems to have happened like 5 times now. I’m getting a bit tired of it.

This was still pretty solid, though.

Directed by James Tucker (5 eps of Batman Beyond, 5 eps of Static Shock, 4 eps of Legion Of Super Heroes).
Written by Bob Goodman (Batman: The Dark Knight Returns 1&2, 51 eps of Batman Beyond, 51 eps of Superman, 2 eps of The Batman, 4 eps of Justice League, 8 eps of The Zeta Project)

Matt Bomer (In Time) as Superman / Clark Kent.
Stana Katic (3 eps of 24, 2 eps of Heroes) as Lois Lane.
John Noble (The Dragon Spirit in The Last Airbender movie, 100 eps of Fringe, 3 eps of Transformers Prime, 3 eps of 24) as Brainiac.
Molly C. Quinn (105 eps of Castle, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story) as Supergirl / Kara Zor-El.
Diedrich Bader (Batman in Batman: The Brave And The Bold, Guy Gardner in The Green Lantern-TAS, Kraven The Hunter in Ultimate Spider-Man, 2 eps of Gravity Falls, 3 eps of King Of The Hill) as Steve Lombard.
Jason Beghe (X-Men: First Class, Thelma & Louise, Maid To Order) as Terrorist Leader.
Frances Conroy (the mom from Six Feet Under, The Wicker Man remake) as Ma Kent.
Melissa Disney (Blade in Batman Beyond) as Thara.
Alexander Gould (Shane Botwin from Weeds, 1 ep of The Life & Times Of Tim) as Jimmy Olsen.
Sirena Irwin (Persephone in Striperella, 3 eps of Adventure Time, 80 eps of Spongebob Squarepants, 3 eps of Batman: The Brave And The Bold) as Alura.
Andrea Romano (voice actress casting director) as News Anchor #2 / Superman‘s Ship.
Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive in King Of The Hill, Office Space, NewsRadio, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, The Men Who Stare At Goats, Penguin in Batman: The Brave And The Bold, 4 eps of Gravity Falls, 2 eps of The Legend Of Korra, 1 ep of the new Thundercats) as Zor-El.
Wade Williams (Harvey Dent in Batman: The Dark Knight Returns – Part 1, Black Mask in Batman: Under The Red Hood, The Dark Knight Rises) as Perry White.
Michael-Leon Wooley (Twayne Boneraper in Ugly Americans, 2 eps of Batman: The Brave And The Bold, 1 ep of Delocated) as Ron Troupe.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2617456/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: CARTOONS: REVIEW: Spider-Woman, Agent of S.W.O.R.D. (2009) [Marvel Knights]

Clint: 3.2/5 stars, 6.4/10.
Carolyn: 2.6/5 stars, 5/10.
Native ratings: 5.9/10 IMDB (not available on Netflix).

Only 51 minutes; a compilation of 5 motion comics that were about 10 minutes each.

Carolyn thought the dialog was a bit stilted and annoying, but this is really meant to be in the same vein as a comic book, not a movie… So I don’t hold it against it as much.

The artwork was good — Spider-Woman was modeled after Jolynn Carpenter. Did a google image search on her afterward. Yup! Spider-Woman!

The voice acting wasn’t as good.

A motion comic is a really low budget thing… I celebrate additional low-grade stuff vs having nothing.

I could see this as being done as an animated series akin to the Men In Black animated series. I’d watch it.

The conclusion seemed kind of rushed. Like, “Whoa, it’s suddenly over?” I thought more was going to happen but then it suddenly felt like The End.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1673449/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Dredd (2012)

4/5 stars, 8/10 from both of us.
Native rating: 3.9/5 stars, 7.3/10.

This was quite action-heavy, as expected. Since that was our expectation, we were satisfied.

The quirk of a drug called “Slo-Mo” that slows down time to 1% was amazing with the way they represented it on film. Wow.

At a couple points, they had shitty cgi blood, the worst since Star Trek 5…but fortunately that was only a 1-2 time thing and it looked good the rest of the movie.

Overall, this was visually superior to the previous version…. And the previous version’s visuals were a lot of what it had going for it.
But now things are modern, and sssso deliciously crisssssssp.  The old movie couldn’t offer that.  And I think Stallone is kind of cheesy anyway.

So file this under: Yet another remake I liked better than the original, just like with Total Recall.

Of course one can always say this is not a remake, but another, different adaptation of the source material.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1343727/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Clint: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Native: Netflix 4.4/5 stars, IMDB 8.8/10 (31st highest rated movie of all time).

The sound mix suffered!
That messed with the viewing enjoyment!
Hard to understand dialog compared to most movies!
Maybe it was the way we played our bluray, but goddamn, it really messed up the experience for me.
I was distracted by wanting to futz with the settings.
Don’t have this problem with most movies.

Carolyn says: “I enjoyed it.  The sound mix detracted some, but other than that, i thought it was a solid batman movie.”

Anyway… I liked the 2nd Batman movie the best, even though that one irked me with the creation of the Maggie Gyllenhaal character.

Minor spoiler: They really threw me for a loop with Talia. What a tweest!

Alright… This movie was pretty epic, but…. I just didn’t get into it as much as I could have. I may revise my rating later.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1345836/

VIDEO: MOVIES: CARTOONS: REVIEW: Doctor Strange (2007)

Doctor Strange – The Sorcerer Supreme (2007) – 
Clint: 4/5 stars, 8/10. 
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9/10. 
Native ratings: 3.8/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

Carolyn: This was a good animated Marvel movie.  I am not as familiar with Doctor Strange in the comic book realm, so it was interesting to see his origin story.  The Marvel animated movies rarely disappoint, anyway.

Clint: I have to agree. This is the type of stuff we like. This isn’t one of the best, but I suspect it’s the only feature-length Doctor Strange origin movie that’s worth watching. 

I wasn’t as wow’ed by it as Carolyn, as I’m starting to get jaded from watching so.many.movies lately. I’m starting to get to that age where you notice stories are becoming less unique: This felt like a combo of the origin stories of Batman (in Batman Begins) and Green Lantern (in terms of ancient leaders and their corrupt inner circle members), combined with the latest season of Avatar:The Legend Of Korra (in terms of demonic gods trying to break through to our realm). I should probably take a break from watching movies for a bit, to become less jaded. (But I really want to watch one tonite!)

One interesting thing: The sound mix was excellent. 

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910865/combined

XKCD: click to drag, visualized

If anyone else failed to find everything in yesterday’s XKCD comic, because, y’know… It would take 30 minutes to drag that 3rd panel around…..

….Here’s a zoomable visualizer that lets you see the entire thing. Works in Chrome. Can’t speak for other browsers.

LINK URL: http://xkcd-map.rent-a-geek.de/#10/0.8713/-91.9295

COMICS: The 8 Most Awkward Sexual Moments in Comic Book History | Cracked.com

Ha!   I read about the Emma Frost / Cyclops / Jean Grey thing in wikipedia recently and was like “jesus fucking christ”.. but Batman/Superman crying after watching tentacle sex, Green Lantern sleeping with a 13 year old, Wolverine trying to sleep with a 15 year old Mary Jane, and Nightcrawler knowingly banging his sister despite being Catholic? Wowie…

LINK URL: http://www.cracked.com/article_18957_the-8-most-awkward-sexual-moments-in-comic-book-history.html