VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Spies Like Us (1985)

Carolyn: 2.6/5 stars, 5.6/10.
Clint: 2.9/5 stars, 5.9/10.
Native ratings: 3.5/5 stars Netflix, 6.1/10 IMDB.

Unfortunatley, I pretty much fell asleep throughout most of this movie. When Carolyn summarized it in email to me the next day, I recalled pretty much everything she talked about… But I lacked the ability to put it together from my shattered memories.  Later, I re-watched the parts I was less aware during, and gained a coherent memory of the movie.

Ultimately our feeling was that this movie wasn’t really that good, despite the Akroyd/Chase powerhouse combo. Carolyn’s main commentary was: “Not much happened.” The jokes were decent, but not hilarious… And the action/spy plot got in the way of the comedy too much.

Still worth seeing, though. This movie is referenced a lot. For example, the 2009 Family Guy episode “Spies Reminiscent of Us”, guest-starring Akroyd and Chase. Definitely worth seeing that.


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEWS; Gross Anatomy (1989)

Clint: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Native ratings: 3.1/5 stars Netflix, 5.8/10 IMDB.
This was billed as a comedy, but it wasn’t THAT comedic… It was more drama/romance than anything… There were definitely laughs sprinkled throughout, but this is not a straight-comedy movie.

It mostly showed how hard and miserable medical school is… with a lesson of “oh, we shouldn’t be working so hard to be doctors, because we also need to have good beside manner, because the patients are more than just files, they are human beings.”

Daphne Zuniga! In a role similar to her role in The Sure Thing, if you ask me.

I totally did not realize the main character Joe Slovak was played by the same guy (Matthew Modine) who was Private J.T. “Joker” Davis in Full Metal Jacket.  I can’t really visualize them as being the same person AT ALL. Nor do I remember him being in 12 episodes of Weeds!

Doogie Howser mentioned this movie in an episode!

Also: The nerdy main char who got in trouble…. Was Ol’ Drippy in 2 episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. And one of the writers wrote the Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie.


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Holy Motors (2012)

Clint: 3.4/5 stars, 7.6/10.
Carolyn: 3.6/5 stars, 7.6/10.
Native ratings: 3.8/5 stars Netflix, 7.1/10 IMDB.

Dafuq did I just watch? Seriously. That was some weird fucking shit.

Of course this was totally expected. I actually read reviews of this movie, which helped set me up for the experience.

Because that’s what this is: An experience. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

There is not really a plot. The movie is about acting, but only in the broadest sense: That, as Shakespeare said, we are all just actors on a stage.

But who sets up the stage? Who decides what role we all play?

Fortunately it’s not a mysterious white limo that drives us around like the main character in this movie.
Fortunately *WE* get *SOME* amount of say in the matter.

The main character in this movie? He has to live many different peoples’ lives–all in one day. Anyone who could really pull that off would be the best actor on the planet. Is that the point of the movie?

I have no clue… But this was one of the most unique movies I’ve seen in a long time, and was visual as well: The psuedosex scene with the motion capture actors was one of the strangest things I’ve seen in my life. Or was it the scene with Eva Mendez singing to a fake penis? Or was it Edith Scob looking surprisingly attractive for a 76-year-old (way mroe attractive than her IMDB pictures where she looks like a grandma)? This movie is FULL OF STRANGENESS.

The best explanation of the movie I have found is here:


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Boy Eats Girl (2005) [ZOMBIES!]

3/5 stars, 6/10 from both of us.
Native ratings: 2.9/5 stars Netflix, 5.0/10 IMDB.

This was a zombie romance film of sorts. There was real conflict, but the main motivation of the main character is that he just wants the girl.

It’s not done THAT well. At times, you really have to have left your brain at the door to get by some of the deficiencies.

Also, these zombies were created by… voodoo. Brace yourself.

There’s problems. It’s not as memorable as it could be. There’s screw-ups. There’s some things that fall flat.

This movie is considered by some to basically be My Boyfriend’s Back (1993), except trying to be more of a serious romance/thriller, instead of a purposefully campy comedy. Which might be a mistake.

Conclusion? Glad I watched this, but I don’t think I’d watch it again. I recommend this for zombie completists.

P.S. It was nice to see the lovely half-Irish, half-Zambian Samantha Mumba (The Time Machine, 2002) again. She is so friggin’ hot, and makes any movie she’s in a bit easier to watch :D


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Skyfall (2012) [James Bond]

Clint: 2.9/5 stars, 5.8/10.
Carolyn: 2.9/5 stars, 5.4/10.
Native ratings: 4.2/5 stars Netflix, 7.9/10 IMDB.

I should have remembered that neither Carolyn nor I are James Bond fans. Carolyn thought she had never even seen a bond movie, but then I reminded her that we watched whatever the new one was in 2004.

I’d never seen any of the 3 movies with the current (Daniel Craig) bond….This guy is a TERRIBLE Bond. He’s the least JamesBond-y of all the James Bonds. Ever.

And man this was movie generic and kid of pointless. It had entertainment value, which kept us from outright disliking it… But this is very much just “ok”.

And what the hell is “skyfall”, anyway? “Skyfall.” “Done!” … Then never mentioned again. Meh.

And the computer parts! Fucking ridiculous, not even a realistic unrealistic like one would hope for. There’s more realistic computer usage in childrens’ cartoons!

Also: Adele is terrible. Not helping. Not helping.

Big disappointment.

NOT. ENOUGH. ACTION. Javier Bardem as a crazed killer is already cliche, too.


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Crazy People (1990)

Clint: 3.4/5 stars, 7/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars Netflix, 5.3/10 IMDB.

This was a charming movie with the gimmick of an advertisement agency accidentally starting a trend of ultra-honest advertisements, and continuing to get these ideas from incarcerated mental patients. It started out pretty funny at times, though it got more serious near the end.

This movie is ultra-unbelievable, from the totally unsecure mental hospital, to people actually liking honest advertising, to Daryl Hannah being a crazy hot chick available to instantlly fall in love with a schlub like Dudley Moore. But that’s part of the movie’s charm.

Strangely, this is from the director of… My Bodyguard (1980)?!?! and the writer of Good Morning, Vietnam (1987). Though you’d never guess. Starring Dudley Moore & Daryl Hannah, with Paul Reiser, Mercedes Ruehl, and a bunch of people playing crazy people at what must be the least secure mental health facility on the planet. Including David Paymer (who was in Bad Teacher), who I thought I recognized from the lame NBC sitcom Boston Common, but no, that was his brother Steven Paymer.



Clint: 4/5 stars, 8.4/10.
Carolyn: 4.6/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars Netflix, 6.5/10 IMDB.

Did I mention this was written by Joss Whedon?

Very interesting animation… It looks like it’s going to be motion-comic-style with hardly any real movement and no lip-moving, but then it turns out to be almost fully animated. Still more “comic-book-y” than any “real” animation… But I think this really meets the halfway point between the two, in a way that I’ve never seen done better in my life. However, the strange warping they did to simulate 3D-ness kind of wigged me out. But I get it: This is a motion comic, they take shortcuts, lower budget means higher ability for more releases. Works for me. You just gotta accept it.

My one problem with this was that there was no steadfast conclusion to all the various stories spinning up (and down). In that respect, yes, it was very comic-book-y. Almost too much! Though… If something like this came out once a month for the rest of my life, it’d be frickin’ awesome.

Also, the voices weren’t top-notch… Beast’s voice especially threw me off as being so different from what I’m accustomed to that it was actually distracting. But again, that’s kind of something you have to accept when doing with motion-comic type releases (Even though this is the most motion-y motion comic I’ve ever seen.)

But other than that? That was pretty fucking awesome. It took place in the current chronology: The Legacy Virus is long gone… Beast had his secondary cat mutation… Colossus is dead…Jean is long dead [again, but this time for real]… Cyclops is dating Emma Frost The White Queen now….  [Which, if you read the wiki on Jean… Her spirit actually basically rose from her grave to tell Scott it was okay to hook up with Emma…]

WAIT WAIT WAIT.. THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST OF FOUR “MOVIES” (some call them seasons, but they are analagous to Whedon’s graphic novels)?!?! WTF!!! WELP.. I’M OFF TO GET THE REST! CYA!