VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Big Man On Campus (1989)

Clio: 3.4/5 stars, 7.4/10.
Carolyn: 3.4/5 stars, 7.4/10.
Native ratings:  6.0/10 IMDB. Doesn’t seem to exist on Netflix, which is weird.

I thought it’d be funnier… But it *was* funny.

Wait… Leading-lady Cathy was Jan (Melora Hardin) from The Office?  WTF?!? I totally didn’t recognize her! She’s all soft and curly and young instead of hard and stark and mature. I think I prefer her mature…More unique.

Carolyn:  I also thought it would be funnier, but it did have its laugh-out-loud moments.  It was entertaining enough, but all the positive reviews on IMDB made me have higher expectations.  It had a 6.0 rating on IMDB, which is pretty high for a comedy.

Clio: Yes. A native 6.0 is a bit misleading. That would generally map to an 8.4-9.6/10 given our personal rating distribution. Instead this was only a 7.4.  However, we knew going in that this would be a gimmicky 80’s comedy, which often means dated and lacking a modern edge.  So while the IMDB seemed misleadingly high, it still surpassed our expectations despite not being THAT great.

Worth seeing. Nice that the Hunchback Of Notre Dame can be done as a comedy…

Directed by Jeremy Kagan (The Journey Of Natty Gann, 1 ep of Ally McBeal).
Written by Allan Katz (6 eps of Rhoda, 4 eps of Blossom, 2 eps of M.A.S.H., 1 ep of Roseanne).

Allan Katz (this is the only thing he’s starred in, except for a movie that is in post-production dated 2013 that he is writing,starring, and directing) as Bob Maloogaloogaloogaloogalooga (Hunchback).
Corey Parker (How I Got Into College, Friday The 13th 5, 5 eps of Will & Grace, 1 ep of Duckman) as Alex. He’s like a Paul Reiser-wannabe in a Mathew Broderick-wannabe body. Not a good combo.
Melora Hardin (Jan in The Office???!?!?!?!?!? totally didn’t recognize her!, 17 Again, Thank You For Smoking, 2 eps of Quantum Leap, 1 ep of Family Guy, 1 ep of Friends, 1 ep of Lois & Clark) as Cathy.
Cindy Williams (Shirley in Laverne & Shirley?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?, Steel Magnolias, 1 ep of Lois & Clark, 1 ep of Hope & Gloria) as Diane Girard, the female psychologist.
Gerrit Graham (Franklin Sherman in The Critic, Police Academy 6, 6 eps of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, 4 eps of Gargoyles, 1 ep of The Tick-TAS) as Stanley Hoyle.
Jessica Harper (Minority Report, 19 eps of It’s Gary Shandling’s Show) as Dr. Fisk, the evil psychologist.
Tom Skerritt (Alien, Top Gun, Picket Fences, Poltergeist 3) as Dr. Webster.
John Finnegan (Mars Attacks!, Last Action Hero, Vegas Vacation, JFK, An American Tale) as Judge Ferguson.
Bill Morey (18 eps of G.I. Joe, 11 eps of Dallas, 2 eps of Mork & Mindy, 1 ep of Working, 1 ep of Full House, 1 ep of Designing Women) as Dean Crawford.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096925/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)

Clio: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Native ratings: 3.1/5 stars Netflix, 3.9/10 IMDB.

Hank (the cop) from Breaking Bad AND Chloe from Smallville are both in this movie, though almost nobody (including us) will notice this.

Carolyn’s thoughts: This was more like The Pink Panther about a theft gang on a stealing spree. The team are brought in to help Captain Harris catch the thieves, and then Commandant Lassard is framed so they try to clear his name. Still going.

Clio: Yup. Still going. These Police Academy movies get really unremarkable, but at least this one had a sort of mystery plot to it that the others didn’t have. That helped stave off the rate of decay of the franchise a bit…

Directed by Peter Bonerz (29 eps of Home Improvement, 12 eps of Friends, 11 eps of Wings, 9 eps of Alf, 3 eps of Just Shoot Me, 3 eps of Joey, 2 eps of Newsradio, 2 eps of Shit My Dad Says).
Written by Stephen Curwick (Police Academy 5-6, 5 eps of Family Ties, 2 eps of Growing Pains, 1 ep of Who’s The Boss?).

Starring
From the previous movies:
Bubba Smith (Police Academy 1-6, 1 ep of Married With Children, 1 ep of Sabrina The Teenage Witch, 1 ep of Family Matters) as Moses Hightower.
David Graf (Police Academy 1-7, 1 ep of Dream On, 1 ep of Ferris Bueller, 1 ep of Night Court, 1 ep of MASH, 1 ep of Family Matters) as Tackleberry.
Michael Winslow (Police Academy 1-7 and the series, Spaceballs, Gremlins, 3 eps of The Love Boat, 1 ep of Family Guy, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Larvell Jones.
Leslie Easterbrook (Police Academy 1,3-7, The Devil’s Rejects, Laverne & Shirley, 2 eps of Batman-TAS, 1 ep of The Love Boat) as Sgt. Callahan, the hot blonde.
George Gaynes (Police Academy 1-7, Henry in Punky Brewster, Wag The Dog, 1 ep of Sliders) as Commandant Lassard.
George R. Robertson (Police Academy 1-6, National Lampoon’s Senior Trip, JFK) as Chief Hurnst.
Marion Ramsey (Police Academy 1-6, 1 ep of Tim And Eric Awesome Show Great Job!, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Laverne Hooks, the quiet one.
G.W. Bailey (Police Academy 1,4-7 Short Circuit, Mannequin, 14 eps of MASH, 1 ep of Soap, 1 ep of Nip/Tuck) as Lt. Harris.
Lance Kinsey (Police Academy 2-6, Loaded Weapon 1) as Proctor.

From the last movie:
Matt McCoy (Police Academy 5-6, 4 eps of Carnivale, 2 eps of Seinfeld, 1 ep of Six Feet Under) as Nick, Lassard’s nephew, pretty much Mahoney’s replacement.

New people:
Allison Mack (Chloe Sullivan from Smallville) as Little Girl. This was her film debut.
Dean Norris (Hank the cop/brother-in-law from Breaking Bad) as cop in gym. Not even credited. No, we didn’t notice him.
Kenneth Mars (Triton in The Little Mermaid, The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again, 26 eps of Malcolm In The Middle, 9 eps of Pirates Of Darkwater, 4 eps of Life With Louie, 2 eps of Batman-TAS, 1 ep of Lois & Clark, 1 ep of The Real Adventures Of Jonny Quest, 1 ep of The Angry Beavers) as The Mayor / The Mastermind
Brian Seeman (2 eps of Sabrina The Teenage Witch, 1 ep of Murphy Brown) as Flash
Darwyn Swalve (Barton Fink, Summer School, 1 ep of The A Team) as Ox
Beans Morocco (Bob The Janitor in Police Academy 5, New Nightmare, Once Bitten, 6 eps of Growing Pains, 2 eps of Mork & Mindy, 2 eps of Laverne & Shirley, 1 ep of Soap, 1 ep of Dream On, 1 ep of Mad About You, 1 ep of Caroline In The City, 1 ep of Murphy Brown) as Bank President

From previous movies:
Bruce Mahler (Police Academy 1-3,6, Fridays, 3 eps of Seinfeld, uncredited in Loaded Weapon 1, uncredited in Dick Tracy) as Doug Fackler.
Billie Bird (Police Academy 4,6, 2 eps of The Wonder Years, 1 ep of Cheers, 1 ep of Max Headroom, 1 ep of Murphy Brown, 1 ep of Who’s The Boss) as Mrs. Feldman. She played Mrs. Feldman in Police Academy 4. I guess it was a different character altogether, but I didn’t remember to notice her.
Arthur Batanides (Police Academy 2-4,6, 5 eps of Happy Days, 4 eps of The Dick Van Dyke Show, 3 eps of The Odd Couple, 2 eps of Wonder Woman, 1 ep of Star Trek) as Old Man Kirkland.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098105/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: TerrorVision (1986)

Clio: 2.6/5 stars, 5.4/10.
Carolyn: 2.0/5 stars, 4/10.
Native ratings: 5.2/10 IMDB. Not available on Netflix. Ha!

Another cheezy movie to watch while Carolyn is ill.

Sooooo 1980’s!

And the fact that this is a family, but that the parents are swingers? That really added to the hilarity, and was arguably what caused this to be worthwhile.

The whole sex-positive vibe of the movie was incongruent with the profanity-negative vibe. They went out of the way to say “what the hey” and other such ridiculousness (rather than cursing)… But they have Nagel’esque bondage threesome art and other topless art all over their walls?

So refreshing to see sex portrayed as less harmful than cursing or violence.

Also, the actors all seem to be from other things I’ve seen. And yet I only recognized about 3 of them.

Overall this was a campy piece of 1980s cheeziness. Something I would have probably loved as a kid, but can only barely stand as an adult, and only as something to ridicule.

There was definitely redeeming value, though. I can see why so many people recommend this movie. It was over-the-top 80’s-horror cliche to the max. Dude.

Written & Directed by: Ted Nicolaou (involved in a lot of cheesy horror movies, it seems like)

Starring Chad Allen (147 eps of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, 21 eps of My Two Dads, 5 eps of General Hospital: Night Shift) as the brother, main character Sherman Putterman.
Diane Franklin (Better Off Dead, Bill & Ted‘s Excellent Adventure, How I Got Into College, The Adventures Of Lass 1-3) the punk-rock daughter/sister, Suzy Putterman.
Gerrit Graham (guardian in Gargoyles, Franklin Sherman in The Critic, 6 eps of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, 22 eps of Now And Again) as the dad, Stanley Putterman.
Mary Woronov (The Devil’s Rejects, The Living End, Rock N Roll High School) as the mom, Raquel Putterman.
Jon Gries (Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite, Lazlo in Real Genius, Unicorn City, 2 eps of Carnivale) the metal-head boyfriend, O.D.
Bert Remsen (Dick Tracy, 4 eps of Dynasty, 3 eps of Melrose Place, 13 eps of It’s A Living) as Grampa.
Alejandro Rey (74 eps of The Flying Nun, 7 eps of Dallas, 1 ep of Knight Rider) as Spiro, the swinger.
Randi Brooks (Hamburger: The Motion Picture, 8 eps of The Last Precinct, 1 ep of Designing Women) as Cherry, the swinger. You can find videos of her real estate company on YouTube. And another one where she sings with her daughters. Not as hot today, obviously–but still not bad.
Jennifer Richards (2 eps of Night Court) as Medusa, the Elvira wannabe. She had the vibe of a Tromette, for sure.
Sonny Carl Davis (Evil Bong 1-3, Thelma & Louise, Where The Buffalo Roam) as Norton, the satellite tv guy.
Ian Patrick Williams (1 ep of Dexter, 1 ep of Batman Beyond, 2 eps of Weird Science) as Nutky (the cop?).
William Paulson (5 eps of Law & Order) as Pluthar, the alien.
Frank Welker (voice-actor GOD) as the monster’s voice. How he manages to always be SO GODDAMN UNIQUE is beyond mystery. We counted his IMDB credits: 750. I’ve never seen anyone else with 750 credits in my life!

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092074/combined