VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Leon: The Professional (1994)

Clint: 3.6/5 stars.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars.
8/10 from both of us.
Native rating: 4.2/5 stars, 8.6/10.

I’d heard “The Professional” recommended so many times. After all, it’s the 31st highest-rated movie in IMDB. Natalie Portman’s 2nd movie, and she’s only about 12 or 13 years old. Starring Jean Reno, who we really only have seen as Ponton in the Pink Panther remake movies, but who is quite good. And Gary Oldman.

I’m not a big fan of the crime genre, but the actors in this were good. The story was kind of generic, but the characters were not. The sexual tension between Natalie Portman and Jean Reno was so completely awkward and cringe-inducing and unique.

The over-the-top mega-acting of Gary Oldman was pretty intense, and at times hilariously cheesy. Yet the movie itself doesn’t come off as cheesy at all. The ending could be better — it felt slightly cliched to me (but I’m a cynic) — but all in all this movie held my interest more than I expected.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110413/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

VIDEO: MOVIE: CARTOONS: ANIME: REVIEW: Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) (Japan)

Clint: 3.6/5 stars, 7.2/10.
Carolyn: 3.4/5 stars, 7/10. “Good. No Howl’s Castle or Princess Mononoke, but still.” And that’s about how I feel.
Native ratings: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7.8/10.

Hayao Miyazaki. Great animator. Great director. Good writer. Huge body of work.

The plot wasn’t super exciting and full of jam-packed action, as it was more character-driven than plot-driven. There was no “bad guy” for example. Just a 13 year old girl trying to live independently for a year, as is the custom with witches.

And if you can fly on a broomstick, why not start a delivery service?

I do feel like it puttered out at the end a bit, which is a trope among anime. Anime is often more about the voyage than the destination, and that remains true here. But less frustratingly so than usual.

This was so lighthearted!

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097814/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Looper (2012)

Clint: 4.4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Native rating: 4/5 stars Netflix, 7.8/10 IMDB>

It’s really hard to go wrong with time travel, Bruce Willis, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I am probably fucking up by not quite rating this 5 stars like Carolyn…. But it’s just not quite as up there as, say, 12 Monkeys, another movie where [spoilers] Bruce Willis meets a younger version of himself.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1276104/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

Clint: 3.4/5 stars, 7.6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 5/10.
Ouch. MAJOR DISPARITY from Clint’s rating. It’s so very rarely 3/10 different with us!

Native rating: 3.9/5 stars, 5.4/10.

I have to admit I barely remember anything about this movie just a few days after watching it, so while it entertained me… It wasn’t anything super spectacular in the story department.

It’s a good thing that they are only planning one more movie in this franchise. It’s run its course, and something to tie it all together is the only way for it to not keep getting worse.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1855325/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Visioneers (2008)

Clint: 2.8/5 stars, 6.2/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native rating: 3.2/5 stars, 6.1/10.

First off, this is NOT a comedy, and shouldn’t be billed as such. It really messes with my enjoyment of a movie to expect a comedy and not get one. Argh!

Second off, not much really happened… It felt slow.

Third off, it was not just slow, but sad-and-slow, a painful combination.

This was a weird glimpse into an alternate earth, where people literally explode from stress, to the point of it being a national issue.

Very surreal. Quite random. Lots of scenes that just don’t connect to the plot at all, and are just kind of there… But also great cinematography, highly unique situations, good actors, and overall a very well-painted picture.

Yet I didn’t like it as much as I could have. This really reminded me of Wristcutters:A Love Story in that respect.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0833557/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: The Bourne Legacy (2012) [Bourne 4]

Clint/Carolyn: 3/5 stars.
Clint: 6/10. Carolyn: 6.6/10.
Native ratings: 6.8/10 IMDB.

This just didn’t hold up to the other ones.

Where’s Matt Damon?!? Why do they keep mentioning his character if he’s not going to be in it? That confused me the most. I kept wondering if the main character was simply another actor playing Jason Bourne, or was another character. It wasn’t made clear ot me. Very distracting.

And then also.. It just wasn’t very good. Barely passable to me. It seemed a bit disjointed and haphazardly put together. But it still had a good budget, and some good action. Yeah…Some.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1194173/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: My Last Five Girlfriends (2009)

3.6/5 stars, 7.6/10 from both of us
Native rating: 2.7/5 stars Netflix, 5.7/10 stars IMDB.

It was a bit of a chick flick — watching this guy go through 5 women. Relationships, yada yada….

But it had enough quirkiness — including gratuitous visual quirkiness to the point of directorial masturbation [not literally] — to keep interest going.

The comedy ended, but not as early as usual, and the quirkiness survived.

It was kind of surreal — a suicide dream sequence — a lot more visual-driven than I would have expected.

The moral of the story? Life goes on. Surprising that this is a necessary message, but it is.

[And by the way… The first 4 girls were progressively less hot, until the black chick {Naomie Harris} at the end who landed smack dab in the middle of the hotness of the other 4 girls.]

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1050002/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1