VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Ass Backwards (2013)

Clint: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 2.7/5 stars Netflix, 4.1/10 IMDB. OUCH!

Man, I fucking love June Diane Raphael. She’s so damn hot. I am intensely attracted to her. NTSF:SF:SUV:: is a great show that few people have heard of, and more people should watch. Then I got a movie she was in that I *THOUGHT* was a comedy (Girl Most Likely), and was totally disappointed.

Finally, this. She wrote it too! Along with Casey Wilson, who apparently knows John The Canadien‘s sister or something. Interesting stuff.

So anyway, this was a pretty funny movie.  2 childhood friends who are living in denial about their loserdom decide to go to the anniversary of the childhood beauty pagaent they came in last in….to show that they can win.

But they are so. damn. clueless. If the movie we watched last night (The To Do List) was a female American Pie 1, then this was a female Dumb & Dumber. Romy & Michelle’s Highschool Reunion? Yea, that too.

On the surface, this is a movie about laughing at stupid chicks being stupid. But a bit deeper, it still has some heart. And it tends to send a subversive message of it being okay to embrace one’s own loserdom and inner loserness.

But for the most part, it’s a ridiculous (there’s even a meth subplot) road trip/buddy comedy with two really stupid main characters who [debatedly] mean well…but are just fucking idiots.

They run into some interesting cast members, too, like a much-less-recognizable Vincent D’Onofrio (he shows up in the weirdest places sometimes), Alicia Silverstone (not quite looking as good), Bob Odenkirk (always exaxctly the same), and Paul Scheer (lucky son of a bitch from NTSF:SF:SUV:: who gets to be married to my girlfriend June Diane Raphael).

The nature of a road trip movie is that the tone of the movie gets to jump all over the place, and sometimes with very little notice. And that’s kind of fun. Hop on and enjoy the ride. This was great fun.

It seemed to be rated unusually low on IMDB, though there’s only 437 votes at the time of writing this. I guess a lot of people don’t go for vapid, idiotic main characters. Or movies starring mostly women. Or movies written by women. ‘Tis a shame, because guy-guy buddy comedies involve vapid stupid fucking idiots as well, and that seems perfectly fine with everyone. Personally, I think it’s quite nice to enjoy a female-created movie. It didn’t come off as chick flick at all, I mean it starts with them pissing!

Some said the ending was sad, because they are losers. But it wasn’t sad. They were happy with their lives at the end — arguably happier than they had ever been before. They embraced the fact that not everyone has to be an overachiever — or even an achiever, as well as the fact that material wealth isn’t necessarily the only path to happiness. They grew as people, from vapid losers to less-vapid losers. It’s a happy ending.

Strange real-life coincidence: This movie featured several scenes with the 2 main girls peeing in public, and while watching it, a random guy adds me as a flickr contact, and all his favorites were girls pissing. Don’t believe me? Here are his favorites:

Directed by Chris Nelson. Written by Casey Wilson & June Diane Raphael (my girlfriend).

Starring June Diane Raphael (NTSF:SD:SUV::, Anchorman 2, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Year One, Girl Most Likely, 3 eps of American Dad, 1 ep of Drunk History) as Kate.
Casey Wilson (The Brothers Solomon, 30 eps of Saturday Night Live, 2 eps of The Life & Times Of Tim, 1 ep of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, 1 ep of The Human Giant, 1 ep of Drunk History, 1 ep of NTSF:SD:SUV) as Chloe.
Bob Odenkirk as Pageant MC.
Jon Cryer (Due Date, Two And A Half Men, Hot Shots, Pretty In Pink, 3 eps of Stripperella, 2 eps of American Dad, 1 ep of Family Guy, 1 ep of Mr. Show With Bob & David, 1 ep of Andy Richter Controls The Universe) as Dean, the pageant runner.
Vincent D’Onofrio (Full Metal Jacket, Strange Days, Men In Black, The Salton Sea, JFK, 3 eps of Men In Black: The Series, 2 eps of Xavier: Renegade Angel) as Bruce.
Alicia Silverstone (that Aerosmith video, Clueless, Batman & Robin, 1 ep of Childrens Hospital, 1 ep of The Wonder Years) as Laurel.
Brian Geraghty (The Hurt Locker, 1 ep of The Sopranos) as Brian, the drug addict.
Paul Scheer (Human Giant, NTSF:SD:SUV, Rapture-Palooza, Year One, 5 eps of TRON: Uprising, 4 eps of Fat Guy Stuck In Internet, 2 eps of Childrens Hospital, 1 ep of Bob’s Burgers, 1 ep of The Life & Times Of Tim, 1 ep of Adventure Time) as Strip Club Owner.
Sandy Martin (Grandma in Napoleon Dynamite-TAS, Speed, 1 ep of Weeds, 1 ep of Nip/Tuck, 1 ep of Warren The Ape) as Qwen, the womyn leader.
Marcia Jean Kurtz (Black Swan, Requiem For A Dream, 1 ep of Hope & Faith) as Barb.
Lea DeLaria (Helga in The Oblongs, 1 ep of Friends) as Deb.
Deanna Raphael (1 ep of NTSF:SD:SUV) as Lizbeth.
Johnny Ray Meeks (7 eps of NTSF:SD:SUV) as Jack.


Claire: 2/5 stars, 4.6/10.

Carolyn: 2.6/5 stars, 5/10.

Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars Netflix, 5.6/10 IMDB.

Carolyn’s thoughts: Not a comedy. Repeat: NOT A COMEDY! Don’t be fooled by what IMDB says and the presence of June Diane Raphael. This is a drama. It was OK, but nothing really special and it was kind of “blah.” It was pretty sad, and there wasn’t enough funny to counteract the sad.

Claire: Yes, pretty sad indeed. Usually a few shots of alcohol make a movie more interesting for me, but in this case it simply took my disinterest in what was going on within the movie and converted it into unconsciousness. And I might rate the unconsciousness higher on IMDB. I mean, it’s not BAD…

But anyway…What an utter, underwhelming disappointment this was. My girlfriend June Diane Raphael has no business being in this.

Directed by Shari Springer Berman (American Splendor, Wanderlust) & Robert Pulcini (American Splendor, Wanderlust). Written by Michelle Morgan.

Kristen Wiig (Young Lucille Bluth in Arrested Development, Date Night, Adventureland, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Knocked Up, The Brothers Solomon, How To Train Your Dragon, Saturday Night Live, Despicable Me, 2 eps of The Simpsons, 1 ep of Drunk History) as Imogene.
Annette Bening (Mars Attacks, American Beauty, Postcards From The Edge) as Zelda, the mom.
Matt Dillon (There’s Something About Mary, Wild Things, Drugstore Cowboy, 1 ep of The Simpsons) as George / The Bousche, the mom’s boyfriend.
Darren Criss (Glee, A Very Potter Senior Year and A Very Potter Sequal [what? a musical Harry Potter? hehehehe], 1 ep of Archer) as Lee, the rentor.
Christopher Fitzgerald as Ralph, the brother.
June Diane Raphael (NTSF:SD:SUV::, Anchorman 2, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Year One, 3 eps of American Dad, 1 ep of Drunk History) as Dara, the fake best friend.
Natasha Lyonne (American Pie movies, Detroit Rock City, Scary Movie 2, Kate & Leopold, 1 ep of NTSF:SD:SUV::) as Allyson.
Bob Balaban (Clockwatchers, 5 eps of Seinfeld) as Maxwell, the father.
Michelle Morgan (1 ep of Kid Notorious) as Georgina.
Brian Petsos as Peter Van Woodsen, the ex-boyfriend.