VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Rock Of Ages (2012)

Clio: 2.6/5 stars, 5.4/10.
Carolyn: 4.6/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Native ratings: 3.0/5 stars Netflix, 5.8/10 IMDB.

Wow! Carolyn and me rating 2.0/5 stars apart from each other (Netflix), and 2.2/10 apart from each other (IMDB). I think that is a top-1% disagreement level; we’re never this far off from each other!

This movie actually failed to keep me engaged. The plot was so thin that once it became “just people singing songs” with 5 minutes of song to every 30 seconds of plot, I began to grow bored, which then made me tired, which made me fall asleep, which made me have to take a break to wake up just to get through the movie.

A musical needs at least some plot. Not a huge amount. Just something more tangible than what we had here. Repo:The Genetic Opera, Sweeney Todd, Nightmare Before Christmas, the South Park movie, Rocky Horror Picture Show. All of these have more engaging plots. Yes, even Rocky Horror! In the end this was just too random, I didn’t care about the characters enough to care about the movie, and it started to feel like an extended music video of old songs sung by celebrities instead of the original artists. I was waiting for it to be over, and was happy when it was.

Any given moment was kinda awesome, and Tom Cruise was great… The whole cast was… But it was just too devoid of story for me. It was too much. Maybe I would have enjoyed a shorter version (I did watch the extended version, after all). It’s totally out of character for me to say that, though.

Maybe on a different night, with a different mood and body chemistry, I would have enjoyed this more. Dunno if I’ll ever be able to make myself try it again, though. Life’s too short.

Carolyn adds: I enjoyed this movie.  I didn’t love it quite as much as Take Me Home Tonight, but I had fun watching it… They did have a lot of songs, and barely any plot, but it was more the ride than the story for me, I guess.

My mom adds: I saw this on an airplane, a captive audience. I must admit that I lean towards Clio‘s opinion.

Parthena, who recommended this to us (but didn’t rate it high?!) adds:  I would rate this 3/5 stars myself! For all the reasons you listed. Very loose plot…like they couldn’t decide which story to focus on. But some parts made me laugh.

 

People-wise:
Co-written by the writer of Tropic Thunder & Iron Man 2.
The main girl is Julianne Hough (uncredited role in Harry Potter 1, Footloose remake).
Diego Boneta (Mean Girls 2)
Russell Brand (Despicable Me, Get Him To The Greek, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, St. Trinian’s)
Alec Baldwin (Dr. Seuss’ The Cat In The Hat, 5 episodes of Clerks-TAS, Beetlejuice)
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcolm In The Middle, 6 episodes of The Cleveland Show, Jim Gordon in Batman: Year One)
Catherine Zeta-Jones (Ocean’s Twelve, Titanic, The Mask Of Zorro)
Paul Giamatti (John Dies At The End, The Hangover Part II, The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto, Sideways, Man On The Moon, Saving Private Ryan, Lady In The Water)
Kevin Nash (wrestler)
Tom Cruise (Knight And Day, Mission: Impossible, Magnolia, Eyes Wide Shut, Minority Report, Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, Days Of Thunder)
Malin Akerman (Childrens Hospital, The Giant Mechanical Man, Wanderlust, Watchmen, The Brothers Solomon, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle)
Will Forte (5 episodes of Gravity Falls, 5 episodes of American Dad, Saturday Night Live, 19 episodes of The Cleveland Show, Tim And Eric‘s Billion Dollar Movie, Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, Sit Down Shut Up, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, Fanboys, The Brothers Solomon, Clone High
Eli Roth (writer of Cabin Fever, Hostel)
T.J. Miller (Robbie in Gravity Falls, Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, Gulliver’s Travels, How To Train Your Dragon, Get Him To The Greek, Cloverfield
Debbie Gibson
Sebastian Bach (Skid Row)

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1336608/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: MUSIC: Marillion: Brave (1994) (directed by Richard Stanley)

Clint: 3/5 stars, 6/10 (rated against other music videos, not movies in general).
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 2.7/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

Look: Anyone who knows me knows that I am a music giver, not receiver. I hate listening to other peoples’ music, and I hate listening to music I don’t already know. I time my concert arrivals so that I always miss the opening band, and I’m not into seeing live music unless it’s music that I’ve already learned.

But you know what I really fucking love? The movie Hardware. And the great talent of its director Richard Stanley. So when he makes an hour-long video to go with a concept album by a band I once saw on the back of a leather jacket worn by a punk at TJ in 1989…. I fucking watch it, even if I’m not into the experience of that kind of thing.

There aren’t a lot of video versions of concept albums out there. The main ones that I think of are Pink Floyd:The Wall and the Nine Inch Nails:Broken banned movie, and both of those are perfect.

This one was not in th e same league. It was cool, but it was a bit cheesy at times, and really had the feel of late 1980’s music videos. I don’t mind that so much, but this isn’t music that I know and love (like Nine Inch Nails) or grew to later love (like Pink Floyd), so it didn’t have that going for it.

It was interesting. And very sad at the end. And definitely a bit psychedelic, and very artsy–like all of Richard Stanley’s stuff. Not bad, but not necessarily great either.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109331/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

MUSIC VIDEO: Neosignal – Planet Online (Official Video)

This is NOT a band or music I listen to.

This is a video that stands on its own awesomeness — Basically, all of the popular aspects of the internet represented as 1990s toy commercials.

Pretty awesome.

This is great. Some assembly required.

Thanks Alan M!

LINK URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnhPMdIsOBc&feature=youtu.be

MUSIC: Los Colorados – Du Hast (Official Rammstein Cover)

I nominate this the most unlikely Rammstein cover.

LINK URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=a5xSxGhlHfc

MUSIC: Simon & Garfunkel: Sounds Of Silence (Muppets Version)

Too hilarious not to share. It really kicks in after the first verse.

LINK URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=4hZUUmNRpGg

VIDEO: Mazzy Star – Fade Into You (Slowed) Vs. Twin Peaks

Okay… I’ve loved the Mazzy Star song for a long time, and I really fucking love Twin peaks… So why not combine the two, slow down the song so it’s 8 minutes long and sounds sung by a dude, and make the visuals all purple-green with a bunch of trippy datamoshing between Twin Peaks characters and Black Lodge rooms?

Yeah. Kick-ass.

LINK URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBHz8k1jX1c

VIDEO: Mazzy Star – Fade Into You (Slowed) Vs. Twin Peaks

Okay… I’ve loved the Mazzy Star song for a long time, and I really fucking love Twin peaks… So why not combine the two, slow down the song so it’s 8 minutes long and sounds sung by a dude, and make the visuals all purple-green with a bunch of trippy datamoshing between Twin Peaks characters and Black Lodge rooms?

Yeah. Kick-ass.

LINK URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBHz8k1jX1c