VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Hunger Games 2: Catching Fire (2013)

Claire: 5/5 stars, 8.9/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 8.9/10.
Native ratings: 4.4/5 stars Netflix, 8.1/10 IMDB.

What can we say that hasn’t been said? This is extremely popular, so it warrants less effort to review. Let’s just say: We fucking loved it. We love this trilogy and are glad it will only be another couple of years before we get to see the end of the story.

However…

However, it wasn’t as good as the first. That’s kind of to be expected with the middle movie of a trilogy.

Beware the abrupt ending. Abrupt ending is abrupt.

This movie really is more of the same, but with differences… Like the 2nd line in a three-line joke.

So some people will undoubtedly complain. I’ve already heard them complain.

I can’t find Claire’s review of the first one, but the ratings we emailed each other for the first one: Ca: 4.6/8.6, Cl: 5/9. So I liked this one better than the first one. I noticed that the average IMDB rating of the first one is 7.3 and the rating for this one is 8.1.

Directed by Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend).
Written by Simon Beaufoy (127 Hours, Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day, The Full Monty) and Michael Arndt (Toy Story 3, Brave).

Based on the book by Suzanne Collins.

Jennifer Lawrence (Mystique in X-Men: First Class) as Katniss Everdeen.
Liam Hemsworth (Triangle, The Expendables 2) as Gale Hawthorne.
Woody Harrelson as Haymitch Abernathy.
Josh Hutcherson (Journey To The Center Of The Earth, Zathura: A Space Adventure, Bridge To Terabithia, Howl’s Moving Castle, American Splendor, 1 ep of Justice League) as Peeta Mellark.
Donald Sutherland as President Snow.
Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games, Miri In Zack And Miri Make A Porno, Fred Claus, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Betty Brant in the Spider-Man movies, Wet Hot American Summer, The Details, Movie 43) as Effie Trinket.
Nelson Ascencio (he’s a writer and various voices on MADtv, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of The Larry Sanders Show) as Flavius.
Lenny Kravitz as Cinna.
Stanley Tucci (Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters, Captain America: The First Avenger, Swing Vote) as Caesar Flickerman.
Wilbur Fitzgerald (Anchorman 2, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, RoboCop 3) as Cray.
Patrick St. Esprit (Super 8) as Commander Thread.
Toby Jones (Dobby’s voice in the Harry Potter movies, Snow White And The Huntsman, Captain America: The First Avenger, Saint Trinian’s 2) as Claudius Templesmith.
Jena Malone (Sucker Punch, Howl’s Moving Castle, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Johanna Mason.
Philip Seymour Hoffman (The Invention Of Lying, The Boat That Rocked aka Pirate Radio, The Big Lebowski, Magnolia, Boogie Nights, Scent Of A Woman, Twister) as Plutarch Heavensbee.
Sam Claflin (Pirates Of The Caribbean 4, Snow White And The Huntsman) as Finnick Odair.

Bruce Bundy as Octavia. I was trying to figure out who she is and whether I should list her, and I was like “Wait, isn’t Bruce a boy’s name?” Then I see her early credits say she was credited as “Brooke Bundy” so then I was wondering if she went through a sex change… Nope, I guess according to her facebook page, there was already a Brooke Bundy so she decided to go with Bruce as a “bold move”. Weird stuff. I still don’t know what character she is in the movie, though.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1951264/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Machete 2: Machete Kills (2013)

Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 8/10.
Claire: Deferring to Carolyn’s rating.
Native ratings: 3.5/5 stars Netflix, 5.9/10 IMDB.

Watched with TwoBeans. However, I fell asleep a lot during the end, so the net effect of the movie was completely lost on me.

I know I laughed a lot.

Fortunately, parts 2 & 3 are a duology (i despise that word!) of sorts, so it won’t be so wasteful to rewatch #2 when #3 comes out.

Directed by Robert Rodriguez (Grindhouse, Planet Terror, Sin City).
Written by Kyle Ward.

Starring Danny Trejo (Breaking Bad, Predators, The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto, Eyeborgs, Fanboys, Smiley Face, The Devil’s Rejects, Anchorman,Trojan War, Enrique on King Of The Hill, Machete in Spy Kids 1-3) as Machete.
Mel Gibson as Voz.
Demian Bichir (Esteban Reyes in Weeds) as Mendez.
Amber Heard (Pineapple Express, Zombieland, The Informers, 1 ep of The Cleveland Show) as Miss San Antonio.
Michelle Rodriguez (Avatar, some Fast & Furious movies, Turbo, Resident Evil 5) as Luz.
Jessica Alba as Sartana (uncredited).
Sofía Vergara (The Three Stooges, The Smurfs, Escape From Planet Earth, 1 ep of The Cleveland Show) as Desdemona.
Charlie Sheen as Mr. President.
Lady Gaga as La Camaleón.
Antonio Banderas (Puss In Boots in The Shrek movies, Zorro in The Legend Of Zorro (2005) and The Mask Of Zorro, Four Rooms, Interview With The Vampire) as El Camaleón 4.
Walton Goggins (Django Unchained, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, House Of 1000 Corpses, The Bourne Identity, The Crow 3, 1 ep of Unsupervised) as El Cameleón 1.
Cuba Gooding Jr. (Don Jon) as El Camaleón 2.
Vanessa Hudgens (Sucker Punch, Spring Breakers, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Cereza.
Tom Savini (Django Unchained, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, 1 ep of Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1, Zack and Miri Make A Porno, Planet Terror, Grindhouse, Dawn Of The Dead, Creepshow, and original Dawn Of The Dead) as Osiris Amanapur.
William Sadler (Freaked, Onion News Empire, Iron Man 3, The Shawshank Redemption, Bill & Ted‘s Bogus Journey, Die Hard 2) as Sheriff Doakes.

It didn’t carry the weight of the first one, but it was still entertaining for what it is.  “Machete don’t tweet.”

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2002718/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Grown Ups 2 (2013)

Clint: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.8/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

Clint’s thoughts: I don’t know why the fuck this became a franchise, but look! They took something not so good and greatly improved upon it. Much better than the original. Less family stuff, and more jokes.

Carolyn’s thoughts:  This was funnier than the original.  It wasn’t made up of them just razzing each other the whole entire time.  The jokes were better and more structured.  It was a pleasant surprise that this was better, as we were expecting a lot worse since sequels generally don’t live up to the originals.  I see they added another writer who had worked on more of Adam Sandler’s older movies, so maybe that contributed to the improvement.

Directed by Dennis Dugan (You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, Happy Gilmore, Big Daddy, Problem Child, Just Go With It, Jack And Jill).  Written by Adam Sandler & Fred Wolf (Without A Paddle, SNL) & Tim Herlihy (SNL, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, The Wedding Singer, The Waterboy, Big Daddy, Little Nicky, Mr. Deeds).  Maybe the addition of that last writer made the difference between how much better this movie was than the first…

Starring the same people from the previous movie:
Adam Sandler as Lenny Feder.
Salma Hayek as Roxanne Chase-Feder.
Chris Rock as Kurt McKenzie.
David Spade as Marcus Higgins.
Rob Schneider as Rob Hilliard.
Steve Buscemi as Wiley.
Kevin James (50 First Dates, uncredited in You Don’t Mess With The Zohan) as Eric Lamonsoff.
Maria Bello (Thank You For Smoking, Coyote Ugly, Shattered) as Sally Lamonsoff.
Maya Rudolph (Saturday Night Live, Shrek 3, Idiocracy, 50 First Dates, Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie, Gattaca, 1 ep of The Simpsons) as Deanne McKenzie.
Ebony Jo-Ann (Kate & Leopold) as Mama Ronzoni.
Colin Quinn (Saturday Night Live, 1 ep of The Larry Sanders Show, 3 Men & A Baby) as Dickie Bailey, the enemy rival.
Tim Meadows (Saturday Night Live, Mean Girls 2, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Coneheads, 5 eps of Bob’s Burgers, 2 eps of The Life & Times Of Tim, 1 ep of The Venture Bros. as Malcolm, the rival black guy.

New faces:
Jon Lovitz as Squats Fitness Janitor.
Taylor Lautner (Jacob from the Twilight movies) Frat Boy Andy (uncredited). He seemed to have a pretty big part for someone who was uncredited…. Oh, someone in the imdb forum said he did this movie for free…
Nick Swardson (Grandma’s Boy, Just Go With It, The House Bunny, Blades Of Glory, Click, 1 ep of The Human Giant) as Nick.
Shaquille O’Neal (the basketball player, Scary Movie 4, Smurfs 2) as Officer Fluzoo.
Alexander Ludwig (The Hunger Games) as Braden, David Spade’s son.
Georgia Engel (Mary Tyler Moore, 14 eps of Everybody Loves Raymond, 4 eps of The Love Boat, 2 eps of The Office, 2 eps of Mork & Mindy, 1 ep of Unsupervised) as Mrs. Lamonsoff, Eric’s mom.
Peter Dante (Just Go With It, Grandma’s Boy, Mr. Deeds, Big Daddy, The Waterboy, Little Nicky, The Wedding Singer, 3 eps of The Larry Sanders Show) as Officer Dante.
Oliver Hudson (100 eps of Rules Of Engagement) as Kyle.
Allen Covert (Soul Patch in Just Go With It, Grandma’s Boy, 50 First Dates, Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, The Wedding Singer, The Waterboy, Airheads) as Hippie Teacher.
Steve Austin (the wrestler, Celebrity Deathmatch) as Tommy Cavanaugh.
Milo Ventimiglia (Peter Petrelli in Heroes, Wolverine in the English version of Wolverine) as Frat Boy Milo.

Missing:
Rob Schneider and his family

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2191701/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation (2013) (watched in 3-D)

JSun: 5/5, 2/10 …. He said it’s his favorite movie of all time, but only rated it 2 out of 10.  A bold choice, indeed. “I said 10!!!” No you didn’t! ;)
Claire: 4/5, 7.6/10
Evan: 4/5, 7/10.
Carolyn: 3/5, 7/10.
Sean: “3-D was 10/10, experience was 10/10″…but it seemed pretty clear that he really hated the movie, hehe.
Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars Netflix, 5.8/10 IMDB.

This movie was utterly fucking ridiculous, but it knew it was being ridiculous.  Watching it with a bunch of friends heightened the enjoyment of this movie, and if we were alone, it probably wouldn’t have been as fun. But isn’t that true about most things?

This, however, was totally over-the-top. Even compared to the first A-Team movie!! And that’s saying a lot!

I have to admit…The first one was better.  But there were certain aspects that this movie pulled off better, like making things comicbook/cartoon-ishly ridiculous.  I certainly would recommend this to anyone who enjoyed G.I. Joe 1.

The 3-D was awesome too; this was one of the first movies we watched with our new Samsung 240Hz 3-D Smart TV.

Directed by Jon M. Chu (some Justin Beiber stuff).

Written by Rhett Reese (Zombieland, Monsters Inc, Cruel Intentions 3) & Paul Wernick (Zombieland).

Starring Dwayne Johnson (The Rock in wrestling, Fast & Furious 6-7, The Mummy Returns, 1 ep o Transformers Prime) as Roadblock.
Jonathan Pryce (Sam Lowry in Brazil, G.I. Joe 1, Pirates Of The Caribbean movies, What A Girl Wants, The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen) as President.
Byung-hun Lee (Red 2, G.I. Joe 1) as Storm Shadow.
Elodie Yung (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo remake) as Jinx, Storm Shadow’s cousin.
Ray Stevenson (Thor, The Three Musketeers, 9 eps of Dexter) as Firefly.
D.J. Cotrona as Flint.
Adrianne Palicki (Red Dawn, 4 eps of Robot Chicken, 4 eps of Titan Maximum, 1 ep of Smallville, 1 ep of Family Guy) as Jaye.
Channing Tatum (Side Effects, This Is The End) as Duke.
Ray Park (Darth Maul in Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Heroes, Fanboys, X-Men, ) as Snake Eyes.
Luke Bracey (225 eps of Home And Away) as Cobra Commander.
Walton Goggins (Django Unchained, Predators, Machete Kills, The Bourne Identity, The Crow 3: Salvation, 1 ep of Unsupervised) as Warden Nigel James.
Arnold Vosloo (Habib Marwan in 17 eps of 24, The Mummy movies, 1 ep of Young Justice) as Zartan.
Joseph Mazzello (The Social Network) as Mouse.
Nick Erickson as President Picture Double.
RZA (A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, Repo Men, Due Date, Funny People) as Blind Master.
Matt Gerald (Avatar, Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines, Magnolia, 2 eps of Dexter) as Havoc.
Douglas M. Griffin (This Is The End, Oldboy remake) as Doctor.
Joe Chrest (Oldboy remake, Red, Ocean’s Thirteen, Clockwatchers) as Chief of Staff.
Bruce Willis as General Joe Colton.
James Carville (Fox News commenter) as James Carville.
Ryan Hansen (Superhero Movie, 1 ep of Childrens Hospital) as Grunt.
DeRay Davis (10 eps of The Boondocks, uncredited in Get Him To The Greek) as Stoop.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1583421/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Porky’s 3: Porky’s Revenge aka Porky’s 3: Revenge (1985)

Claire: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Native ratings: 4.2/10 IMDB.

Porky is back.  I think this is the worst of the 3.  It wasn’t the same writer & director as the previous movies, so that might have hurt it some.  It was still entertaining enough.

Not as good.
More of a sports comedy, with only one main conflict, instead of the 4 or so main conflicts of part #2. Not as much depth.
Not as many pranks.
Wendy Williams is mysteriously not with Peewee anymore; no fucking explanation whatsoever. It’s like the writer who wrote #3 didn’t watch #2.

At least we got a happy ending for Balbreaker, and everybody finally graduated.

The franchise is over! It should be, at this point. Probably should have ended with #2.

Wait, what?! The Ramones song “Do You Wanna Dance?” is a cover?!?!?!

Directed by James Komack (3 eps of Welcome Back, Kotter, 11 eps of Get Smart, 1 ep of Star Trek) (Not Bob Clark, who wrote & directed the first 2).
Written by Ziggy Steinberg (1 ep of It’s Garry Shandling’s Show, 1 ep of Three’s Company, 1 ep of The Bob Newhart Show, 1 ep of The Mary Tyler Moore Show).

Starring some of the same people as the previous movies:
Dan Monahan as Pee Wee.
Wyatt Knight (1 ep of Star Trek: The Next Generation, 1 ep of Family Ties) as Tommy.
Mark Herrier (1 ep of M.A.S.H.) as Billy.
Tony Ganios (Die Hard 2) as Meat.
Kaki Hunter (Just the Way You Are) as Wendy. What did she look like in 2012? http://www.popsafari.com/celeb/8D5301A4-0175-474C-8CC5-8B7572160066
Scott Colomby (Caddyshack, 1 ep of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman, 1 ep of The A-Team) as Brian Schwartz.
Nancy Parsons (Where the Buffalo Roam, Steel Magnolias, 1 ep of Star Trek: The Next Generation) as Balbricker.
Bill Hindman as Coach Goodenough.
Ilse Earl as Mrs. Morris.
Eric Christmas (2 eps of Coach, 1 ep of Seinfeld, 1 ep of Ally McBeal, 1 ep of Roseanne, 1 ep of Mad About You) as Carter.

Return of:
Chuck Mitchell (Better Off Dead) as Porky.

New people:
Rose McVeigh as Miss Webster.
Fred Buch (Commissioner Hurley in Porky’s 2, Caddyshack) as Mr. Dobish. Weird, this guy played a different character in this movie than he did in Porky’s 2.
Wendy Feign as Blossom, Porky’s daughter.
Kim Evenson as Inga.
Heidi Helmer (What Women Want, Beach Balls) as Connie.
Nancy Valen (23 eps of Baywatch, 1 ep of Friends) as Ginger.
Donna Rosea (Revenge Of The Nerds 2: Nerds In Paradise) as Lana.
William Fuller (Eustis the Klan Leader in Porky’s 2) as Gus. Another one who played a different character in Porky’s 2.

Main characters from the previous 2 movies were missing, pretty much with no explanation:
Roger Wilson as Mickey (blonde kid).
Cyril O’Reilly (Airplane!, 1 ep of The X-Files, 1 ep of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 1 ep of M.A.S.H.) as Tim (racist dad guy).

Also missing:

Joseph Runningfox as John Henry.
Bill Wiley (1 ep of The Sarah Silverman Program, 1 ep of Wings, 1 ep of Coach, 1 ep of Punky Brewster, 1 ep of Hart To Hart) as Reverend Flavel.
Edward Winter (14 eps of Herman’s Head, 12 eps of Angry Beavers, 3 eps of Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, 2 eps of The Real Adventures Of Johnny Quest, 1 ep of Duckman, 1 ep of Weird Science, 1 ep of Seinfeld) as Gebhardt.
Cisse Cameron (1 ep of Three’s Company, 1 ep of Laverne & Shirley) as Sandy Le Toi.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089826/combined

Porky’s 2: The Next Day (1983)
Claire: 4.4/5 stars, 8.2/10.
Carolyn: 3.2/5 stars, 7.2/10.
Native ratings: /5 stars Netflix, 4.5/10 IMDB.

Porky’s doesn’t exist, but we’ll still call this movie Porky’s. WTF.

…But anyway, the pranks! OMG, the pranks. It just seems like, in the world of this movie, that in the 1950s there was nothing to do or spend your money on other than pranking your friends and enemies. The pranks were epic.

In some ways, this movie is worse than the original… And yet in some ways, it is better than the original.  Yea, there are things they don’t pull off as well, but they also successfully made a much grander sequel

…And it worked! We [barely] like this one better than the original! Which makes it the best of the 3 Porky’s movies!

The plot was a bit more spread out, with 4 or so subplots–so a lot more was going on. That counted against it for coherence, but for it for interestingness. And all the plots were tied up very well.  More assholes in the movie, yet less violence than the original. This movie gets to say a big fuck you to religion, the KKK, politicians, AND meddling parents. That’s more well-played “fuck you”s than most movies that we watch!
Written & directed by Bob Clark (A Christmas Story).

Some of the same people as the last movie:
Dan Monahan as Pee Wee.
Wyatt Knight (1 ep of Star Trek: The Next Generation, 1 ep of Family Ties) as Tommy.
Mark Herrier (1 ep of M.A.S.H.) as Billy.
Roger Wilson as Mickey.
Cyril O’Reilly (Airplane!, 1 ep of The X-Files, 1 ep of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 1 ep of M.A.S.H.) as Tim. (When I saw his name, I kept thinking of Cyril O’Reily from Oz.
Tony Ganios (Die Hard 2) as Meat.
Kaki Hunter (Just the Way You Are) as Wendy.
Scott Colomby (Caddyshack, 1 ep of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman, 1 ep of The A-Team) as Brian Schwartz.
Nancy Parsons (Where the Buffalo Roam, Steel Magnolias, 1 ep of Star Trek: The Next Generation) as Balbricker.
Bill Hindman as Coach Goodenough.
Ilse Earl as Mrs. Morris.

New people:
Joseph Runningfox as John Henry.
Eric Christmas (2 eps of Coach, 1 ep of Seinfeld, 1 ep of Ally McBeal, 1 ep of Roseanne, 1 ep of Mad About You) as Carter.
Bill Wiley (1 ep of The Sarah Silverman Program, 1 ep of Wings, 1 ep of Coach, 1 ep of Punky Brewster, 1 ep of Hart To Hart) as Reverend Flavel.
Edward Winter (14 eps of Herman’s Head, 12 eps of Angry Beavers, 3 eps of Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, 2 eps of The Real Adventures Of Johnny Quest, 1 ep of Duckman, 1 ep of Weird Science, 1 ep of Seinfeld) as Gebhardt.
Cisse Cameron (1 ep of Three’s Company, 1 ep of Laverne & Shirley) as Sandy Le Toi.

Hehe, from the goofs:

Revealing mistakes

When Gloria fakes her death in the cemetery, she can clearly be seen breathing.

That should be “incorrectly regarded as goofs” because she was faking, and I think her breathing was on purpose.
Missing:
Chuck Mitchell (Better Off Dead) as Porky. No mention of the movie’s namesake.
Kim Cattrall (Dee in Producing Parker, Samantha in Sex And The City, Star Trek 6, Big Trouble In Little China, Police Academy, Mannequin, 2 eps of The Simpsons, 1 ep of Duckman, 1 ep of Rugrats, 1 ep of Dream On,) as Honeywell. (They mentioned she was fired due to her antics from the previous movie)
Boyd Gaines (The Sure Thing, Fame, 1 ep of Frasier, 1 ep of Caroline In The City) as Coach Brackett. (They mentioned he was fired due to his antics from the previous movie)

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086129/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Hangover 3 (2013)

Claire: 3.4/5 stars, 7.2/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 6.0/10 IMDB. (Doesn’t seem to be on Netflix as of the writing of this review.)

This one didn’t have the same formula, and it didn’t pack the same punch as the first two.  It was still pretty funny and enjoyable, but it paled in comparison.

I kind of want to blame some of this on the fans: When Hangover 2 came out, people complained that it was too much like the original. This annoyed me more than my fair share, as all too often people complain about EVERY sequel changing things for the worse. So here we are — the one time they didn’t change things — and Hangover 2 comes out and then people complain that it was too similar! What the fuck!

Well, America, you got what you fucking wanted. A Hangover movie that isn’t like the pre-existing ones. And it’s just not as fucking good. Happy, fuckers?

I may have accidentally rated this lower than it deserves because I’m so disappointed. After #2 being so consistent with #1, I was really hoping #3 would be so as well. Maybe if I could have had my expectations set better…

So anyway, this is still decent. They wrap up a lot of things; they bring back things from the past that the audience never knew existed. Too much of the franchise, however, has been reduced to “Oh look how clueless Zach Galafianakis is!” and “Oh look how much of a crazy asshole Kim Jeong is!” … Most of the other elements of the franchise have withered away.

Good, but a disappointment. Very bittersweet.

Coincidence: Some of this movie takes place at the Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. I just so happened to be drinking alcohol out of a Ceasar’s Palace cup as I watched the movie.

Directed by Todd Phillips (other Hangover movies, Due Date, Starsky & Hutch, Old School). Written by Todd Phillips & Craig Mazin (Superhero Movie, Identity Thief, Scary Movie 3-4).

Starring Bradley Cooper (Limitless, The A-Team, All About Steve, He’s Just Not That Into You, Wet Hot American Summer, Stella Shorts, Wedding Crashers, 6 eps of Nip/Tuck) as Phil.
Ed Helms (Andy from The Office, The Lorax, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, 5 eps of Childrens Hospital, 3 eps of NTSF:SD:SUV, 3 eps of Arrested Development, 1 ep of Ugly Americans) as Stu.
Zach Galifianakis (The Campaign, Tim And Eric‘s Billion Dollar Movie, Tairy Green from Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, Visioneers, Youth In Revolt, It’s Kind f A Funny Story, Dinner For Schmucks, What Happens In Vegas, Stella Shorts, Between Two Ferns, 2 eps of American Dad, 1 ep of Bob’s Burgers) as Alan.
Justin Bartha (National Treasure movies, uncredited in 54) as Doug.
Ken Jeong (Rapture-Palooza, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, Step Brothers, 1 ep of Bob’s Burgers, 1 ep of Mary Shelley’s Frankenhole) as Mr. Chow.
John Goodman as Marshall.
Melissa McCarthy (Identity Thief, This Is 40, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Charlie’s Angels, Go) as Cassie.
Jeffrey Tambor (George Bluth Sr. in Arrested Development, Hank Kingsley in The Larry Sanders Show, Hangover movies, Hellboy, Superhero Movie, EuroTrip, Professor Cakes in China IL, 4 eps of Archer, 2 eps of 3-South) as Sid.
Heather Graham (Twin Peaks, Drugstore Cowboy, Boogie Nights, From Hell, Swingers, Lost In Space, Scream 2, uncredited in Anger Management, 1 ep of Portlandia) as Jade.
Mike Epps (Next Friday, Friday After Next, Dr. Dolittle 2, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Resident Evil: Extinction, uncredited in Hancock, 1 ep of The Boondocks, 1 ep of The Sopranos) as Black Doug.
Sasha Barrese (Let Me In, American Pie, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Tracy.
Jamie Chung (Sucker Punch, Dragonball: Evolution) as Lauren.
Sondra Currie (she’s been around, but we haven’t seen her) as Linda.
Gillian Vigman (Date Night, Step Brothers, All About Steve, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, 14 eps of MADtv) as Stephanie.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1951261/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: National Lampoon presents Dorm Daze 2 (2006)

Clio: 3/5 stars, 6.2/10.  I am unsure what I thought. It was an entertaining mess.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 7.6/10.
Native ratings: 2.7/5 stars Netflix (compared to 3.7 for Dorm Daze 1), 3.7/10 IMDB (compared to 4.4 for Dorm Daze 1).

Carolyn:  I think I liked the first one slightly better, but this one didn’t disappoint.  Dorm Daze 2 seemed to have more structure than Dorm Daze 1, and a more memorable plot, but I think Dorm Daze 1 was more fun. If Dorm Daze 1 was about misunderstandings and plots, Dorm Daze 2 was about capers and a theft.

Clio:  Interesting, I kind of felt like this one had less structure and was more all over the place. But that could easily just be my mood at the time of watching.

Anyway, during Dorm Daze 1, Clio was reminded of The Pink Panther. But it was more subtle in the original. This sequel took that feel even further, actually involving a stolen diamond.

Come to think of it…………. I don’t think there were any Dorms in this movie. And the 3rd movie in this trilogy dropped “Dorm Daze” from the title altogether, so I guess they eventually acknowledged how loosely coupled this so-called “franchise” is.

Still liked it though. Good laughs. Very underrated on IMDB if you are a comedy lover.

It had some of the same characters from Dorm Daze 1, but it didn’t rush through the introductions of the characters as much. They basically rushed through the set up of how they are on a cruise ship doing a school play. Much like a war movie, if you can’t follow a lot of people easily, it may get confusing. Just go with it…

Directed by: David Hillenbrand (Dorm Daze 1, mostly a music developer, we haven’t seen the other 7 things he directed), Scott Hillenbrand (Dorm Daze 1, we haven’t seen the other 7 things he’s directed)
Written by: Worm Miller (Dorm Daze 1, we haven’t seen the other things he’s written), Patrick Casey (Dorm Daze 1, we haven’t seen the other things he’s written)

They had some of the same characters as Dorm Daze 1:
Gable Carr (her career went nowhere) as Rachel.
Patrick Cavanaugh (1 ep of Thundercats (2011), 1 ep of Batman: The Brave And The Bold, 1 ep of Six Feet Under, 1 ep of Frasier) as Pete.
James DeBello (Cabin Fever, Scary Movie 2, Trip in Detroit Rock City, enthusiastic guy in American Pie) as Cliff Richards.
Marieh Delfino (we haven’t seen her in anything) as Gerri Farber.
Tony Denman (Fargo, 2 eps of King Of The Hill) as Newmar.
Danielle Fishel (she was in 147 eps of Boy Meets World, but I didn’t watch that show) as Marla.
Paul Hansen Kim (1 ep of Andy Richter Controls The Universe, 1 ep of 3rd Rock From The Sun) as Wang.
Jennifer Lyons (3 eps of That 70’s Show, Can’t Hardly Wait, 2 eps of Night Stand) as Lynne.
Chris Owen (Sherman from The American Pie movies, suicidal freshman in Van Wilder, A Midsummer’s Night Rave, klepto kid in Can’t Hardly Wait) as Booker McFee.
Patrick Casey as Mike
Worm Miller as Brady.

And some new characters:
Larry Drake (American Pie 2, Dead Air, Johnny Bravo, Green Lantern: First Flight, 2 eps of Justice Leage, 1 ep of Firefly, 1 ep of Six Feet Under, 1 ep of Batman Beyond) as Dean Dryer.
Vida Guerra (Not Another Celebrity Movie) as Violet.
Jeremy Howard (2 eps of Breaking Bad, Men In Black 2, Galaxy Quest) as Eli.
Kip Martin (hmm, he wasn’t Silas from Weeds or Stiffler’s cousin, we haven’t seen his work) as Stukas.
Richard Riehle (Santa Claus in A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, Smiley Face, Extracted, The Beach Party At The Threshold Of Hell, Office Space, Hatchet, Mysterious Skin, Palindromes, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, 1 ep of The Legend Of Korra) as Captain Bunkley.
Nicolas Shake (he’s barely been in anything) as Dante (crazy black dude who poisoned people).
China Shavers (Not Another Teen Movie) as Robin Daniels.
Charles Shaughnessy (4 eps of The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, 4 eps of Duckman, 1 ep of Gargoyles, 1 ep of Jackie Chan Adventures) as Professor Rex Cavendish.
Jasmin St. Claire (actual porno star) as Mrs. Bunkley / Summer Solstice.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0458438/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW:Fright Night 2: New Blood (2013)

Carolyn: That movie was dumb.  The annoying friend was more annoying than funny and he had no redeeming qualities… The vampire wasn’t very hidden, and was just so obvious, and it barely made any sense.  Ugh, this movie was just so stupid.  I rolled my eyes a lot.  I tried to keep my hatred to myself because I could tell Clio was at least liking it more than me and I didn’t want to taint his enjoyment of it, but eventually I couldn’t hold out and I had to express how dumb that movie was.  Stay away.  Don’t bother with this one.

Clio: Stupid, but I don’t expect much from direct-to-video sequels of remakes.  I mean, this movie is so far removed from the original I wasn’t expecting much. The main vampiress was super hot, there were a few moments of comedy, but for the most part it was just an ultra-generic horror with some extra-retarded moments, so retarded they detracted from the movie.

Directed by Eduardo Rodriguez.
Written by Matt Venne.

Starring a bunch of nobodies:
Will Payne as Charley Brewster.
Jaime Murray (1 ep of Childrens Hospital) as Gerri Dandridge.
Sean Power as Peter Vincent, the monster hunter TV show host.
Sacha Parkinson as Amy Peterson, the girlfriend.  She’s got creepy-hot down.
Chris Waller as ‘Evil’ Ed Bates.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2486630/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) [watched in 3-D]

Clio: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Evan: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.2/5 stars Netflix, 4.8/10 IMDB.

Our first-ever 3D movie night, with Clio, Carolyn, Greg, John, Radha, Evan, & Javier. We got together to watch the new Star Trek movie (Star Trek 2 / 12) but it ended up being the first one (Star Trek 1 / 11).  So we had to quickly decide what else to watch, and this was what brought up the least objections.

We thought this was a remake of the original, but it turned out to be a follow up to the original movie.  Clio & I had never seen the original, but it didn’t seem to detract from our experience.  This was entertaining, but it didn’t have that much going for it.  Not much to the story.  We watched it in 3D on our new TV with 5 other people, and that made it more fun.

Directed by John Luessenhop.

Written by Adam Marcus (Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday), Debra Sullivan, and Kirsten Elms.

Starring Alexandra Daddario (Percy Jackson movies, 1 ep of The Sopranos) as Heather Miller.
Dan Yeager as Leatherface.
Trey Songz as Ryan, Heather’s boyfriend.
Scott Eastwood (Gran Torino) as Carl, the young cop.
Tania Raymonde (5 eps of Malcolm In The Middle) as Nikki, Heather’s friend.
Shaun Sipos (The Grudge 2, Final Destination 2, 1 ep of Smallville) as Darryl.
Keram Malicki-Sánchez (Sex And Death 101, 3 eps of The L Word, 4 eps of Garbage Pail Kids, 2 eps of Friday The 13th: The Series, 1 ep of 24) as Kenny, Nikki’s date.
James MacDonald (1 ep of Weeds, 1 ep of 24) as Officer Marvin.
Thom Barry (The Fast And The Furious, Space Jam, Apollo 13, Independence Day, 2 eps of Seinfeld, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of Space Above And Beyond) as Sheriff Hooper.
Paul Rae (1 ep of Malcolm In The Middle) as Burt Hartman.
Richard Riehle (Santa Claus in A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, Smiley Face, Extracted, The Beach Party At The Threshold Of Hell, Office Space, Hatchet, Mysterious Skin, Palindromes, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, Dorm Daze 2, The Man From Earth, 4 eps of The Legend Of Korra, 1 ep of Drunk History) as Farnsworth. He still reminds us of the “I’ll make your bub-bubs bounce” / “this is what I do, I sit on you” guy.
Bill Moseley (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Army Of Darkness, Night Of The Living Dead, Dead Air, The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Grindhouse, The Devil’s Rejects, 8 eps of Carnivale, 5 eps of Holliston) as Drayton Sawyer.
David Born (1 ep of Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!) as Gavin Miller, Heather’s adopted dad.
Sue Rock as Arlene Miller, Heather’s adopted mom.
Ritchie Montgomery (Django Unchained, Looper, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Green Lantern, 1 ep of Carnivale) as Ollie.
Dodie Brown as Loretta Sawyer, Heather’s real mom.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1572315/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: This Is 40 (2012)

Clint: 3.2/5 stars, 7.2/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.5/5 stars Netflix, 6.3/10 IMDB.

Decent, but we thought it would be more of a comedy. It still was, but it was painful and depressing at the same time. This is a spin-off from the movie Knocked Up, with events occurring about a few years later.

This was actually better AND more funny than Knocked Up. But not by very much. A lot of the humor was the cringe-humor of watching somebody have a life that you do not want.  As a married couple who has no interest in having kids, we experienced a great deal of schadenfreude at watching Paul Rudd & Leslie Mann suffer the consequences of their breeding-based decisions.

P.S. I feel like Leslie Mann is getting hotter and hotter. And Carolyn says the same for Paul Rudd.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1758830/combined

 

  • Anna: I took myself to see this one on my 35th birthday. I did not relate to this movie and it kind of annoyed me. I definitely agree with your assessment of the movie and of Leslie Mann. Hawtie. Just another movie about how kids ruin you life. Definitely thought Knocked Up was funnier. Did you see Dan in Real Life? That was another one of those horrible painful depressing movies about people’s lives you don’t want.
  • Clint Dan In Real Life would definitely be my least favorite of the 3 movies mentioned…!!
  • Anna Me too. That movie made me hate myself and others around me.
  • Eve Yay schadenfreude over breeders suffering!
  • Clint: and how

     

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Crow 4: Wicked Prayer (2005)

Clint: 2.4/5 stars, 5/10.
Carolyn: 2.6/5 stars, 5/10.
Native ratings: 3.0/5 stars Netflix, 2.8/10 IMDB (yikes!!).

As expected, this was the worst of the 4 Crow movies. And the differential between 3 & 4 was larger than between 2 & 3 or 1 & 2.

Really bad sound mix. Didn’t understand a lot of dialogue.

The Crow was John Conner in Terminator 2, and Hawk in Detroit Rock City. But this time he looks like a girl (at least once The Crow makeup is put on). Least badass looking Crow ever.

The plot? It’s kind of confusing why we are being shown the things we are shown. Bad direction. Bad writing. Cheesiest Crow movie ever. I mean, we have a Satanic gang whose names are War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death, and who drive around cars with their names airbrush-painted onto them. And Tara Reid is one of them. Damn she’s hot in this, but that’s about the best aspect of the fucking movie!

There are some good actors, but then they are barely in it. Emmanuelle Chriqui (Waiting, Tron:Uprising), Danny Trejo (Machete) & Dennis Hopper (Blue Velvet). And the guy who was to become Satan? Angel from Angel.

But all this could not save this flop of a movie.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0353324

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)

Clint/Carolyn: 4.4/5 stars, 8.4/10.
Native ratings: 3.8/5 stars Netflix, 4.4/10 IMDB (wtf?!).

Wow. Really low IMDB rating compared to Netflix. Just shows the legions of assholes that downvote any sequel or adaptation (or film starring hated actors). Yet, this seems to be better than Paranormal Activity 3…. But not as good as Paranormal 2. Where PA2 went further back in time than PA1, but concluded after the end of PA2; and PA3 took place completely in the past; PA4 takes place several years after the events of PA1/2. In effect, it’s almost like a second chapter to the story, as the only living family member left from the original movies is the baby (now age 6-8 or so).  I was hoping for more Katie, though it is not a Katie-less movie.

Funny thing: Carolyn’s hearing range does not include the high-pitched demon-speech sound. Clint had to tell Carolyn when the demon was speaking. That actually made it creepier.

Anyway, Carolyn in particular thought this installment lacked some of the spookiness of the previous ones…It didn’t give me the same creeped out feeling…Even PA2 caused Carolyn to sleep on our foofsack because she was too scared to be in the bedroom alone without me. This one didn’t.

Also, they barely talked about the witches’ coven… and they didn’t really explain how Hunter ended up being adopted, and who the hell Robbie was (other than a random kid who lived nearby)?  Not many answers.

BTW, the main girl in this movie is 15 and was in Bad Teacher, which we just watched… But I still didn’t recognize her.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2109184/combined

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)

4/5 stars, 8/10 from both of us
3/5 stars, 7/10 was what we gave Kung Fu Panda 1.
Native rating: 4.0/5 stars, 7.4/10. (Netflix guess for us=3.8, which makes sense since we rated the original lower).

We actually liked this more than 1! Fancy that!

I wonder if this has to do with the fact that we watched Kung Fu Panda 1 during our movie-glut of watching 200+ movies in a year.

We stopped doing that, because we eventually learned (by analyzing our numerical ratings) that watching movies more often makes you enjoy them less. The rating disparity could be completely because we are watching movies at a rate of about 90/yr instead of 200/yr (the rate we held up for several years after buying a 52″ tv – I think the honeymoon finally wore off).

Who knows.

But this was good.
And funny.
And entertaining.
And well-animated.

I forgot just how funny the dialog and attitude of these movies were.

I had put this off for a long time. Probably because of how nonplussed we were by episode 1 of the animated series.

But it turns out this is really good!
And you get to learn more backstory about Po (the kung-fu panda).

I’ll have to remember NOT to pass up movie 3 when it comes out. This franchise is better than we remember.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1302011/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Hostel 3 aka Hostel: Part III (2011) (direct to video)

5/5 stars, 8/10 from Clint.
3/5 stars, 7/10 from Carolyn.
Major disparity here.

Native rating: 4.7/10 (vs 5.8,5.4 for first 2 movies), 3.1/5 stars (vs 3.2,3.2).
Netflix guessed 3.9/5 for us. Considering I rated the first 2 Hostel movies 5/5 stars, Netflix really should know better.

I thought this was one of the more sinister Hostel movies. The major spoiler of the movie is WAY more evil than anything that was done in the first two Hostel movies.

I actually think the franchise has been improving with each release, which is contrary to most popular opinion and common sense.

Hostel 2 > Hostel 1, because after seeing the 1, watching 2 is an exercise in extreme paranoia. But after going that route, Hostel 3 is more of an experience in “living large” and making the franchise more grandiouse, with the hell on earth no longer in a 3rd world eastern European country, but in Las Fucking Vegas.

This is also the most unique of the 3 films (due to large similarities between Hostel 1 and Hostel 2).

I am glad that in the IMDB comments I found other people who liked this better than Hostel 1 & 2. It is probably the opinion of a 10% minority, but I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks 3 > 2 > 1.

FREAK ALERT! John Hensley, the fucking idiot son from Nip/Tuck, plays a handicapped person here. Interesting to see him again, if only to be reminded of how much I hated his character on Nip/Tuck. He also has a kind of weird look to him, which lends itself well to playing someone with a physical malady.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1255916

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Sherlock Holmes 2: A Game of Shadows (2011)

MMmmmm, Sherlock Holmes sequel! Yay!

4/5 stars, 8/10 from both of us (whereas the first movie only got 7.6 from Carolyn).

Native rating: 7.5/10, 4.1/5 (guess for us=4.2), so for once we’re in line with most people.

NOOMI RAPACE! THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO! She is in this movie, in an English-speaking role!

This was actually better than the first Sherlock Holmes movie, but only slightly. I reread what Carolyn said to me about the last one, and she said her attention had faltered some during the first one, and that didn’t happen with the 2nd movie.

And that is why this movie gets a slightly higher rating (8.0 vs 7.6).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1515091

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005)

Clint/Carolyn: 8/10.
Clint: 5/5 stars, Carolyn: 4/5 stars.
Native ratings: 3.5/5 Netflix (guess for us=3.4), 6.2/10 IMDB.

What a delightful sequel to Jumanji! And nobody knows about this, because they didn’t call it Jumanji 2! However, it’s basically the exact same movie, but with SPACE instead of JUNGLE. It’s not as dark as Jumanji; a little more lighthearted. But the EXACT SAME FORMULA. This is truly a sequel.

All the Kristen Stewart haters have really missed out on a gem of exploitable screenshots from this movie: Stewart is LITERALLY frozen during a lot of the movie. These could be memes, if someone would just screenshot and capture them.

Directed by Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Elf).
With Dax Sheppart from Without A Paddle, and Tim Robbins as the dad.
And oh, the younger brother in this movie was the kid in the recent Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011) movie, and the older brother was in Journey To The Center Of The Earth (2008) as well as Peeta in The Hunger Games (2012), and Bridge To Terabithia (2007).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0406375/

VIDEO: MOVIES: CARTOONS: REVIEW: The Smurfs 2 (2013) [watched in 3-D]

Clint: 3/5 stars (3/5 for Smurfs 1), 7/10 (6.4/10 for Smurfs 1).
Carolyn: 3.6/5 stars (3/5 for Smurfs 1), 7/10 (6.6/10 for Smurfs 1).
Native ratings: 3.7/5 stars Netflix (3/5 for Smurfs 1), 5.2/10 IMDB (5.4 for Smurfs 1).
For curiosity’s sake: The original 1981 series gets 7.4/10 on IMDB. (I gave it 7/10.)
So anyway–Carolyn, Clint, and Netflix folk all liked the 2nd movie slightly more. The notorious haters at IMDB liked it slightly less.

This had some good smurf action and the 3-D was the best 3-D we’ve seen on our 3-D television since we bought it. I don’t know if it was the way they produced the movie, or the fact that they did HOU 3-D (over-under) instead of SBS 3-D (side-by-side), or if it was a good encode of the movie, but either way — Best 3-D we’ve seen, with the least ghosting (which you always get with active 3-D these days; we are in the infancy of 3-D at home — think VHS.)

That alone made it worth watching for us, but then there’s the fact that Hank Azaria (Moe Szyslak/Chief Wiggum/Apu Nahasapeemapetilon/Superintendent Chalmers/Comic Book Guy/Carl & Lenny/Professor Frink/Cletus) is great as Gargamel. Such a completely unrealistic character to exist in the real, live-action planet earth, and a great casting choice to pick someone with such nuance for funny voices, and such a long career with very little time actually on the screen. He deserves this.

For a kid movie, it didn’t focus on the kid very much. The kid “Blue” (the baby from Smurfs 1) is now at talking/walking age, but was barely in the movie. So that was good for adults like us who aren’t interested in watching kids. Just kids’ shows. ;)

Instead of taking place in New York, this one takes place in Paris, France. Other than that, it is very similar to Smurfs 1, except that they introduce 2 new Gargamel-created smurfs. Apparently they are the babies that showed up later in the 1980s series, but I think I had stopped watching right around when the babies showed up. Carolyn is 2 years younger than me, so she watched it a bit longer and recognized that when they called Vexxy “a sassy lassy” at the end, it was a nod to Sassette Smurf, a baby/younger female who showed up for 2 episodes near the 1990 end run of the original series. Incendentally, I totally forgot about Johan and Peewit/Peewee, and don’t really understand how they factor into the series. I also forgot/never knew that there were alternate Gargamels in the 9th season of the original cartoon. That was 1990. I took a break from cartoons approximately from adolescence until young adulthood (i.e. 13-20) so I might have missed the alternate Gargamels. Damn. I also didn’t know there was a 1965 Smurfs movie!

One bad thing was they seem to have forgotten that when choked, a Smurf is supposed to turn yellow. NOT more blue.

But other than that, it was a generic family adventure. Stupid things that doesn’t make sense sometimes happen, because it is a generic family adventure. It is very clearly something released to make money, and I’m okay with that. The money made gave me a chance to revisit part of my childhood without having to *ACTUALLY WATCH* 1980s quality animation/writing. And while generic-family-blockbuster writing isn’t that much better than 1980’s-children’s-cartoon writing… The movie LOOKED pretty awesome, and LOOKS DO MATTER for movies. Also Jayma Mays (Hero’s waitress girlfriend from Heroes) might just be one of the most adorable females alive. Her and Emma Stone need to have a baby together.

So anwyay…. We were pleasnatly surprised. Not every sequel is better, but if you free your mind and allow yourself to enjoy things… Sometimes it actually works out.

So yeah, we’ll watch The Smurfs 3 in 2016, probably. It’s a prequel.

Directed by Raja Gosnell (Smurfs 1, Home Alone 3).
Written by J. David Stem (Smurfs 1, Shrek 2, 3 eps of Rugrats and the Rugrats movie, 2 eps of Mission Hill), David N. Weiss (Shrek 2, 3 eps of Rugrats and the Rugrats movie, 2 eps of Mission Hill, All Dogs Go To Heaven), Jay Scherick (1 ep of Caroline In The City), David Ronn, and Karey Kirkpatrick (The Spiderwick Chronicles, Charlotte’s Web (2006), The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy).

Neil Patrick Harris as Patrick.
Hank Azaria (The Simpsons, Herman’s Head, Eric in Stressed Eric, The Birdcage, Eddie Brock in the 1990’s Spider-Man, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Year One, Mystery Men, Run Fatboy Run, Grosse Point Blank, 2 eps of Family Guy) as Gargamel.
Brendan Gleeson (Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody in the Harry Potter movies, The Secret Of Kells, In Bruges, Beowulf, The Village, Troy, 28 Days Later, Mission Impossible 2) as Victor.
Jayma Mays (Heroes, Epic Movie, Smiley Face, 1 ep of NTSF:SD:SUV, 1 ep of Six Feet Under) as Grace.
Nancy O’Dell (Scream 2-4, 1 ep of The Simpsons) as Herself.
Mr. Krinkle as Azrael.

And the voice actors:
Katy Perry as Smurfette.
Christina Ricci as Vexy.
Jonathan Winters as Papa Smurf. Did you know he was Grandpa Smurf in the original? There was an R.I.P. in the credits; this was his last film.
J.B. Smoove (Curb Your Enthusiasm, Clear History, Movie 43, The Dictator, Date Night, Mr. Deeds, 12 eps of Saturday Night Live, 4 eps of American Dad, 1 ep of The Simpsons, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Hackus.
George Lopez (118 eps of George Lopez, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm) as Grouchy Smurf.
Anton Yelchin (Chekov in the Star Trek reboot movies, Terminator Salvation, Odd Thomas in Odd Thomas, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of The Life & Times Of Tim) as Clumsy Smurf.
John Oliver (2 eps of Gravity Falls) as Vanity Smurf.
Fred Armisen (Portlandia, Terry in Out There, Eurotrip, Saturday Night Live, he’s also a small part in The Dictator) as Brainy Smurf.
Jeff Foxworthy (Bounty Hunters, The Jeff Foxworthy Show) as Handy Smurf.
Alan Cumming (The Devil in God, The Devil And Bob, John Castaway in Gargoyles: The Goliath Chronicles, Rick & Steve The Happiest Gay Couple In All The World, Nightcrawler in X-Men 2, Garfield, 6 eps of The L Word, 3 eps of Robot Chicken) as Gutsy Smurf.
Gary Basaraba (Fried Green Tomatoes, Charlotte’ Web (2006), 1 ep of Nip/Tuck) as Hefty Smurf.
Adam Wylie (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Jimmy Olsen in Superman/Doomsday, Brainiac in Legion of Super Heroes, American Pie Presents Band Camp, 1 ep of Mad) as Panicky Smurf.
Kenan Thompson (Sit Down Shut Up, Saturday Night Live, All That, Stan Helsing) as Greedy Smurf.
Shaquille O’Neal as Smooth Smurf.
B.J. Novak (The Office, The Internship, Knocked Up, Inglourious Basterds, The Amazing Spider-Man 2) as Baker Smurf.
Paul Reubens (aka Pee-Wee Herman) as Jokey Smurf.
Jimmy Kimmel as Passive-Aggressive Smurf.
John Kassir (Mittens in Eek The Cat, Jack The Giant Slayer, The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy, Cryptkeeper in Tales From The Cryptkeeper and Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight, Buster Bunny in Animaniacs and Tiny Toon Adventures, 2 eps of Adventure Time) as Crazy Smurf.
Tom Kane (Professor Utonium in The Powerpuff Girls, Narrator and Yoda in Star Wars: The Clone Wars, also Yoda in Star Wars: Clone Wars, Wolverine And The X-Men, 10 eps of The Eric Andre Show, The Angry Beavers, 1995 Iron Man-TAS, 6 eps of The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, 5 eps of Robot Chicken, 1 ep of The Legend Of Korra) as Narrator Smurf.
And of course, Frank Welker (Freddy in Scooby Doo, and many many many animal voices in many many many of our favorite cartoons) as Azrael.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2017020/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

Clint: 4.4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 3.8/5 stars Netflix, 6.8/10 IMDB.

Hilarious, but still with a dark edge like the original. But not as dark, and seemingly not as serious.   We missed Nic Cage, though.  We wish he could have been in this.  We got Jim Carrey, though!  Carolyn didn’t recognize him until Clint pointed out who he was. Good makeup. And it’s okay if the makeup doesn’t look realistic, because that’s just comic book aesthetics. It actually opens things up for more creativity, versus the less-creative, more-common goal of making everyone look “realistic”.

But anyway… Super heroes in real life (i.e. *our* version of Earth) is an awesome genre, considering we have hundreds of known *real* costumed heroes in real life.

Written & directed by Jeff Wadlow.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson (he’s going to be Quiksilver in The Avengers: Age of Ultron) as Dave Lizewski / Kick-Ass. Hmm, I guess he didn’t end up being Cyclops in X-Men: First Class
Chloe Grace Moretz (Let Me In, The Amityville Horror, Movie 43, 1 ep of American Dad) as Mindy Macready / Hit-Girl.
Jim Carrey as Colonel Stars and Stripes.
Morris Chestnut (Ryan Nichols in the new V series, Identity Thief, 1 ep of American Dad) as Detective Marcus Williams, who is now the guardian of Hit-Girl.
Clark Duke (Hot Tub Time Machine, Kick-Ass, Sex Drive, Superbad, Clark on the last season of The Office, 5 eps of Robot Chicken) as Marty / Battle Guy.
Augustus Prew as Todd / Ass Kicker.
Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin from Superbad, How To Train Your Dragon, The To-Do List, This Is the End, Kick-Ass, Movie 43, Fright Night, Year One) as Chris D’Amico / The Motherfucker.
John Leguizamo (Ice Age movies, Luigi in Super Mario Brothers, uncredited in Repo Men, 1 ep of American Dad) as Javier, The Motherfucker’s butler.
Donald Faison (Bartik in TRON: Uprising, Can’t Hardly Wait, Clueless (also in the TV series), 8 eps of Robot Chicken, 3 eps of The Boondocks, 1 ep of Adventure Time, 1 ep of Titan Maximum) as Dr. Gravity.
Lyndsy Fonseca (Hot Tub Time Machine, 1 ep of Heroes, 1 ep of Malcolm In The Middle) as Katie Deauxma.
Yancy Butler (Hansel & Gretel Get Baked) as Mrs. D’Amico, The Motherfucker’s mother.
Lindy Booth (Detroit Rock City, Wrong Turn) as Night Bitch.
Benedict Wong (Prometheus, 2 eps of Look Around You) as Mr. Kim.
Andy Nyman (1 ep of Holliston where he apparently plays Axl The Cat) as The Tumor.
Garrett M. Brown (Uncle Buck) as Mr. Lizewski.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1650554/combined