VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The FP (2011)

Clio: 4.4/5 stars, 7.6/10.
Carolyn: 3.6/5 stars, 6.6/10.
Native ratings: 2.9/5 stars Netflix, 4.7/10 IMDB.

This movie is perhaps best summarized as Idiocracy meets Rocky meets 8 Mile meets the videogame Dance Dance Revolution.

“In a post apocalyptic future, two rival gangs fight for control of Frazier Park by playing “Beat Beat Revelation”, a deadly version of Dance, Dance, Revolution(tm).”

Yes. An incredibly ridiculous premise. As soon as I read the summary, I KNEW I had to see it. I love Dance Dance Revolution, and I love post apocalypstic futures… Though I gotta say, that part of the summary was mis-leading. It doesn’t look post-apocalyptic. It doesn’t look apocalyptic. It doesn’t look like the future either. People drive around older cars and use payphones. Things are obviously bad, and people talk in a very different, stupider way … But it’s not really made obvious that there was ever any apocalypse. It’s a bit dystopian, that’s all.

But that’s a very minor complaint. This was one of those bad movies that is hilarious. Carolyn was somewhat annoyed at the dialogue, but it was still pretty funny. And they were doing that on purpose. Talking like fucking idiots. So much slang. Like the education system has collapsed and street talk has taken over the world… Yet people are still civilized enough to have Dance Dance Revolution machines at clubs and party spots.

The opening scene had someone dying from DDR.

This was awesome. And so unique and ridiculous. It may as well have been a cartoon. Fuck yeah.

Written & directed by Brandon Trost (mostly a cinematographer and special effects guy) & his brother Jason Trost (Hatchet 3, Crank 2, Scream 2), who played JTro.

Main characters JTRO and Stacy aren’t actors that have been in anything we’ve seen. But other stars included:
Art Hsu (Crank 2, uncredited role in Pirates Of The Caribbean 3) as KCDC.
Clifton Collins Jr. (Crank 2, Star Trek (2009), Traffic, uncredited role in Scott Pilgrim Vs The World) as CC Jam. DID NOT RECOGNIZE HIM.
James DeBello (Detroit Rock City, Dorm Daze, Cabin Fever, Scary Movie 2, American Pie 1) as Beat Box Busta Bill. Recognized him.
Nick Principe (uncredited role in Hatchet 2) as BLT.
Sean Whalen (A Midsummer’s Night Rave, Charlie’s Angels, Hatchet 3, Twister, Waterworld, Men In Black, The Cable Guy, The Bold And The Beautiful) as Stacy‘s Dad.
Dash Mihok (Sex & Death 101, I Am Legend, The Day After Tomorrow, Sleepers) as henchman Cody.
Michael Sandow (usually a camera guy) as henchman Jody.
James Remar (Harry Morgan in Dexter, Django Unchained, X-Men: First Class, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Pineapple Express, Ratatouille, 4 eps of Justice League, The Girl Next Door) as Narrator.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1296373/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: CARTOONS: VIDEO GAMES: REVIEW: Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Carolyn: 4.6/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Native ratings: 4.2/5 stars Netflix, 7.9/10 IMDB.

I defer to Carolyn’s rating for this one. I kept falling asleep. I definitely still followed everything that happened in the movie, but it lost it’s potential for full effect on me. I could tell it was awesome, but I just wasn’t SURE it was awesome. I’m not even going to rate it because I don’t even know how I feel about it.

But hey! Carolyn loved it! A lot of people loved it! I’ll be watching this again someday, 7 years from now.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1772341/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Video Game High School (2012)

Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Clint: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native rating: 7.7/10 IMDB (Not available on Netflix).

First off, this is actually a TV series of short episodes repacked into a movie. It feels way more movie-like than I expected from that description. The episode cuts are not as jarring as one would think; I didn’t notice most of them as being different. If you had told me it was a ┬ámovie from the start, I would have believed it.

So anyway, you could call this an alternate-earth movie, where videogames are everything, and you go to college to get better at video games. And if you lose too many matches, you get expelled for having bad game winning stats. Throw in a romantic angle (a must in any college comedy?), a bully (who’s power comes from his videogame prowess), and you get a pretty interesting movie… If you’re a gamer.

It reminded Carolyn of Todd And The Book Of Evil on a few fronts (high school, crush on girl named Jenny, redhed geekier girl who gets with 2nd friend and may actually be hotter than Jenny), though the subject matter really was nothing like it, and I would say something like the movie John Dies At The End reminds me more of Todd And The Book Of Evil.

Johanna Braddy was in the Avatar:The Last Airbender cartoon and in Paranormal Activity 3.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2170584/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

Clint: 3.4/5 stars, 7.6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 5/10.
Ouch. MAJOR DISPARITY from Clint’s rating. It’s so very rarely 3/10 different with us!

Native rating: 3.9/5 stars, 5.4/10.

I have to admit I barely remember anything about this movie just a few days after watching it, so while it entertained me… It wasn’t anything super spectacular in the story department.

It’s a good thing that they are only planning one more movie in this franchise. It’s run its course, and something to tie it all together is the only way for it to not keep getting worse.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1855325/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

GAMES: Creators of Dwarf Fortress make losing fun

Dwarf Fortress: The most complicated game on the planet. Interview with the creators. Their life sounds kinda cool.

LINK URL: http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2013/apr/06/kitsap-creators-of-dwarf-fortress-make-losing/#axzz2PmsSwwXy

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Joysticks (1983)

7/10 from both of us (IMDB rating is only 3.2/10!). 3/5 stars from Carolyn, 4/5 from Clint (Netflix rating is 2.7/5, with a prediction of 3.0 for us.)

OMFG this was a TOTALLY RIDICULOUS cheesy screwball unrealistic 1980s comedy about a video arcade. Think FOOTLOOSE, but with video games instead of dancing.

Get a chance to see Larry’s always-silent, other-brother-Darryl from the 80’s Newhart sitcom — not just in a speaking role, but also sometimes in drag!

This also stars Uncle Rico from Napoloeon Dynamite, as a video-junkie punk – “KING VIDIOT” – who just wants to hang out at the video arcade with the snobby cool kids. Yes, you heard me right: The snobby cool kids (and topless chicks) all want to hang out at the video game arcade.

NOT UNREALISTIC ENOUGH? Ante up! Dude takes 2 girls back to his private office where he has a strip video game, and they have a threesome while playing the videogame.

Carolyn liked it better than she thought it would. She was resistant to this movie, yet I had to tell her that I observed her laughing and laughing and laughing out loud over and over many many times through the movie — as did I.

This exceeded my low expectations and is actually funnier than a lot of A-movie comedies out there.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085764

opening theme / beginning of movie: