A man walks by the newsstand every day, grabs a copy of the paper, and reads the front page. Each day, he grumbles, folds it back up disgustedly, and goes on about his day. This goes on for several years until finally the owner of the news stand asks the question.
“Why do you only read the front page and why do you get so upset?”
“I’m looking to see if someone died.”
“Well the obituaries are further inside.”
“The mother-fucker I’m looking for would be on the front page.”

Sorry… Heard it from John Str____ on Facebook. Had to remember it. This was in response to me saying there should be a web service to monitor obituaries, a DeathWatch of sorts. Useful for timely grave-dancing.

Mood: woooooooooooooooooooooo
Music: Styx – Mr. Roboto