CARTOONS: Cartoons That Never Should Have Been: #6: Police Academy – The Animated Series

I’ve been grabbing a lot of episodes of “cartoons that never should have been” lately. Not for watching, but mostly for having. And laughing at. And fast-forwarding through. And getting a feel of how bad they were. I present you with screenshots from “Police Academy:TAS”? (1991) (imdb).

This gem is yet another movie-to-cartoon franchise. It must have not done that well, because there is very little information on it. It must have only lasted one season. There is one glowing review on IMDB by someone who claims it was as funny as the original movie, and that the characters were true-to-character. I suppose anything is possible, but I don’t think I’m willing to actually watch this.

Also scary: The theme song is a rap sung by the Fat Boys. This was 1991, after all.

Here is a cop about to crash through their crest! No donut for you!

You can listen to the theme song here:

Even though the “guy who makes all those sounds” has guest-voiced in American Dad/Family Guy (one of the two) as himself, he did not bother to voice himself in the series. I don’t know why!! He could have had a good career as a voice actor, because he was incredibly talented. His character, however, still pulls the same antics: Whenever the car need a siren, the turn the flashing lights on — but he makes the siren noises.

Considering we are a people only free due to having armed citizenry, it is quite sad that the liberals have made it so that we can’t even show cops using guns in a cartoon. I mean, wouldn’t that be a little more realistic than filling a bazooka up with glue and catching a robber by gluing him to a brick well? Please!

The tough blonde is of course still a character. Here she is lifting up another character with one arm.

This is what the title screen looked like.

Yes, holding up a motorcycle while hang-gliding is possible. Kids: Don’t try this at home. You’d be better off playing with one of the guns they didn’t want to show you earlier! At least with a gun, you might survive. Anybody doing this is a dead man.

Ahhh, the mandatory overly-anthromorphosized animalian companion. NOT played by Frank Welker, becuase this was a big-studio high-profit-margin low-budget production. They used NO big-name voice actors, and it shows. The dog barks are substandard. Anyway, this “dog” attends their Hill Street Blues-style morning meetings, and sits in a chair with the rest of the officers.

And in an unusual twist, we have an officer acting like a dog. They always say “dog bites man isn’t news, but man bites dog is”. Well, “cartoon dog acts like man” is not news, but “cartoon man acts like dog” most certainly is. Unfortunately this was not his character, but was just a one-time phenomenon.

And in the most “24”-like scene in the series, they use their battering-ram-monster-truck (notice the ram’s head) to break into the suspect location — only to find a camera setup. Not quite a “Xanatos Gambit“, but still a bit surprising for a kid’s toon.

Here’s another ridiculous situation… What do you do when a fugitive gets on a roller-coaster? You couldn’t possibly just hang around the exit, could you? Nooo…. You chase it on the roller-coaster, with your monster-truck battering-ram complete with metal ram’s head. I am reminded of Popeye…

As we see below, at the end of any episode it is important that everyone is happy!

Finally, one of the more terrifying aspects of the show: A G.I. Joe-inspired, ‘very special’, “Knowing Is Half The Battle”-type safety tip. These are apparently appended at the end of every episode. This one was all about how it’s real important to know your phone number, so that if you can get lost you can go up to a phone booth (ha ha) and call your parents! Of course in this day in age, I doubt kids could memorize both their parents cellphone numbers AND their home numbers. How many must die before we learn?!?!?!

In terms of voice actors, this show employed a bunch of nobodies. It’s extremely rare that we do not recognize a single name in a cartoon’s voice credits. I double-checked, and none of these actors were from any Police Academy movie. (One did play a waiter in Police Academy, but I don’t think that counts.)

So anyway, the prejudiced verdict (since I haven’t actually watched it) is in: This looks like crap. But then again, you knew that from the title of the blogpost, didn’t you? This series isn’t about good cartoon shows. :) Of course you could watch a 7-minute episode and judge for yourself:

And if that link isn’t working, search for other videos of this cartoon HERE.

For other postings in my series, “Cartoons That Never Should Have Been”, click HERE. Look for a new one every Tuesday and Friday.