I asked my parents about some of the crap that went down at the parties they used to host, and these were their responses:
From Mom:
“Well, I definitely commiserate with you. And yes–we stopped having big parties, at least partially because our “guests” didn’t seem to respect the fact that our home was not a playground. Which actually meant that they didn’t respect us. We sort of-kind of tolerated this for a while but, when we got a little older, we cut down and finally stopped having big, blow-out get-togethers.
Carolyn’s right about our toilet being broken. That happened when we lived in an apartment, but it was still our home. I don’t think anybody ever copped to having broken it. There was another incident when a college friend got drunk and fell through our glass coffee table, totally demolishing it. He paid for the replacement, but our enjoyment of these shindigs was already winding down.
I felt a little deja vu-irritation at those parties Britt and Chuck used to throw. People stamping cigarette butts out on their carpets, breaking furniture, spilling wine all over…there’s a point where having fun becomes disrespectful. And it’s even more unacceptable when the people are 30 plus years old…grow up, jerks.
Anyway, I was really sorry to hear about what happened to you guys. And I think you’re in the right to tell everybody how pissed off you are. They all need to know that destructive behavior is abusive and unacceptable–destroying a friend’s property is like slapping them in the face. Unfortunately, it’s not surprising that nobody has admitted blame. Besides not wanting to accept responsibility, they’re probably also humiliated and embarrassed. I just hope that your reaction makes them realize that they need to behave more courteously in the future. The unfortunate thing is that many of your friends are probably innocent people getting stuck in the middle of all this. But isn’t that always the way?”
From Dad:
“yeah, i think a toilet was broken once — cracked the tank part and I’m thinking it was in our rented apartment so it really cost us.
sometimes you know who did it, sometimes you don’t. its the price you pay for having parties….something will always get fucked up. when we had our Christmas party here in this house, someone left the water running in the sink in the master bath and flooded it —- how hard is it to turn off water????? No one was drunk or anything, and these were mostly our “adult” neighbors, so go figure (though a few of them brought their pre-teen kids (suspects!)). Don’t bother blaming people for the shit they do…if you know who did something, just dont invite them again. [Hard to do when I don’t know. -Clint] Chuck’s friends trashed Britt’s house every party and broke stuff, spilled and left stuff, etc. Chris & Britt haven’t had any problems with guests because they have more responsible friends.
It kinda goes with the territory and the “types” of people you associate with. Not putting you down, just some of your “friends”.
Ask yourself, “are they really friends, or just slobs looking for a place to party and trash?” We’ve been down that road too and simply stopped having large parties.”
I don’t want to be the last person in my family to stop having parties. So if shit does down at a party, guests need to expect to face an investigation without getting pissy about it.
Mood: “You’ll pay to know what you really think.” -Church Of The SubGenius
Music: Kreator – Future Ring
Claire's blog 
January 29, 2009 at 12:59 PM
I am behind your parents 110% percent. I’ve had pretty good luck with the parties we’ve thrown (thank God!) but feel that, as someone who also likes to throw parties, that it *should* be understood by everyone that if you fuck up, you own up.
January 29, 2009 at 1:02 PM
You’ve always been one of the saner people I know. :)
January 29, 2009 at 2:54 PM
I’m sane!
January 29, 2009 at 4:42 PM
Yeah, my stuff always got broken too. Here are just a few of the damages:
-Floating shelf ripped from the wall in my first house, leaving big holes, and breaking everything on it. The person who did it fessed up (we all saw it anyway, ha!) and was very apologetic, which i at least appreciated
-Big dents in the wall in my first house from Chuck and his friends doing drunk headstands against the wall; no apologies.
-A brand new $200+ Ikea bed was completely demolished when a drunk guest slept overnight in it. I have no idea HOW, as someone would basically have had to jump on it repeatedly to crack it like it was; no apology
-Mud tracked all over pristine 12 year old white carpet in the house I’m in now when a guest decided to roll down the hill in my front yard during a rainstorm; no apology. Luckily, I was having wood flooring installed a couple months later.
-Vomit all over the carpet and WALLS in the upstairs hallway of the house I’m in now. When I re-painted months later, I found some small chunks that had been missed; kind of an apology.
-4+ drunk guests played flipcup in my kitchen a couple of years ago, SOAKING the wood floors in sticky beer goo. I’m talking liquid surrounding the island 1/4 deep. I specifically had said flipcup needed to be played outside or in the basement but nobody cared to listen, and wussy me didn’t want to make a scene.
This is just the stuff I remember off the top of my head. I’m sure there’s a lot more. It definitely took some of the enjoyment out of having parties. I specifically noticed that people that didn’t rent/own their own homes were the worst offendors.
January 29, 2009 at 5:50 PM
We fortunately haven’t had any major problems at our parties. A chair broke once, but it wasn’t in good condition to begin with and so that’s completely understandable.
Some may call our parties a bit tame, but oh well. Less clean up and stress for me! I’m happy with the way they turn out, as it is just the right mix of socializing, playing games, eating food/snacks, random antics, and cleaning up afterward. If somebody wants to attend a wild and crazy party, they can go trash someone else’s (preferably their own) place.
January 29, 2009 at 11:06 PM
I’ve never understood the impulse to trash someone’s stuff. I like a little bit of wild mixed into a party, but not the kind that results in either people or property being injured.
@Britt – yeah, it’s amazing how paying for things improves one’s appreciation for respecting property…
January 30, 2009 at 2:42 AM
I agree with Britt and Stacy: it isn’t a matter of age as much as responsibility and empathy–those who rent or own a place of their own are more likely to respect the property of others. But ANY real friend is aware that trashing a house is a selfish, irresponsible, and ungrateful act. Sure, things happen…that’s understandable and even expected, at least to some extent. But there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed–and it sounds like that line was crossed at Clint’s b-day party.
I also saw that line crossed at Britt’s house–so-called “friends” ignoring her wishes (and even her pleas!), treating her home as if it was literally a garbage dump. I’m happy to say that those people will never set foot inside her door again. And her parties are all the better for it!