VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Red 2 (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Red 2 (2013)

Claire: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 3.7/5 stars Netflix, 6.7/10 IMDB.

Carolyn’s thoughts: This was on par with the first one.  Some action, some comedy, some government politics. Mary-Louise Parker‘s character grows and gains experience.

Claire’s thoughts: How do they keep making Helen Mirren look so good when she’s 68 fucking years old?  Yay Hollywood makeup artists? But anyway, I don’t remember the first movie that well. I mostly just remember how much I liked it. And I like this movie pretty much that same amount.  I think maybe this one didn’t feel as comic-book-y as the last one.  And yes, these kinds of movies are a bit formulaic.  But the fact that it stayed funny is kind of what Red movies are: Comedy-Action movies that are over-the-top and unrealistic.

Daniel Hagan’s adds: “Yeah, they’re empty calories – fun to watch but not particularly notable from a cinema viewpoint”

And since we can never get enough comedy at our house — and prefer comedy to action — it’s great to get both at once.

Plus the cast was great. Anthony Hopkins was particularly fun to watch.

Directed by Dean Parisot (Galaxy Quest, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of The Tick live-action series).
Written by Jon Hoeber (Red 1) & Erich Hoeber (Red 1).

Starring some of the same people from the first movie:
Bruce Willis as Frank.
John Malkovich as Marvin.
Mary-Louise Parker (Nancy Botwin from Weeds, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Fried Green Tomatoes) as Sarah.
Helen Mirren (Deep Thought in The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, Georgina Spica in The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover, National Treasure: Book Of Secrets, 1 ep of French & Saunders) as Victoria.
Brian Cox (Captain O’Hagan in Super Troopers, The Campaign, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, X-Men 2: X2, Adaptation, Fantastic Mr. Fox, narrator in The Color Of Magic, The Bourne Identity movies, Troy) as Ivan.

Plus some new people:

Anthony Hopkins (Hannibal Lecter in The Silence Of The Lambs, Odin in the Thor movies, Beowulf, Titus) as Bailey. A great performance.
Byung-hun Lee (G.I. Joe movies) as Han Cho Bai.
Catherine Zeta-Jones (The Mask Of Zorro, Ocean’s 11, Traffic, Rock Of Ages, Side Effects) as Katja.
Neal McDonough (Captain America: The First Avenger, Minority Report, 8 eps of Band Of Brothers) as Jack Horton.
David Thewlis (Remus Lupin in the Harry Potter movies, The Big Lebowski) as The Frog.
Wahab Sheikh (Trance) as Iranian Clerk.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1821694/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Along Came Polly (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Last Days On Mars (2013)

Claire: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.3/5 stars Netflix, 5.9/10 IMDB.

This was your VERY average VERY formulaic VERY generic run-of-the-mill rom-com. Overall it was entertaining, but it was not that wonderfully great. Jennifer Aniston was nice to look at. Ben Stiller was pretty funny, and somewhat awkward. We watched this because Philip Seymour Hoffman was in it and we decided to watch a bunch of his movies that were beneath our radar since he passed away. As a bonus: Hank Azaria, the Simpsons voice of sooo many characters. Always rare to actually see him ON screen. He always seems so delightfully miscast, but that’s really just his cartoony stage presence at work.

Directed and written by John Hamburg (director of 3 eps of Undeclared, 2 eps of Stella, writer of Meet The Parents movies, I Love You Man, Zoolander).

Ben Stiller as Reuben Feffer.
Jennifer Aniston as Polly Prince.
Alec Baldwin as Stan Indursky.
Hank Azaria as Claude.
Missi Pyle (Miss Nobody, Visioneers, Harold & Kumar 2, Pretty Ugly People, Live!, Anchorman 1, Dodgeball, Big Fish, Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Percy Jackson 2, Galaxy Quest, 4 eps of The Sarah Silverman Program, 2 eps of Heroes, 2 eps of American Dad, 1 ep of Family Guy) as Roxanne.
Philip Seymour Hoffman (The Hunger Games 2, The Invention Of Lying, The Boat That Rocked aka Pirate Radio, The Big Lebowski, Magnolia, Boogie Nights, Scent Of A Woman, Twister) as Sandy Lyle.
Debra Messing (Grace from Will & Grace, 2 eps of Seinfeld) as Lisa Kramer.
Nick Jameson (President Yuri Suvarov in 24, Batman: Year One, Eurotrip, Beowulf, Extracted, The Critic, 15 eps of Spider-Man-TAS (1990s), 13 eps of Mission Hill, 6 eps of Star Wars: Clone Wars, 1 ep of Star Wars: The Clone Wars) as Van Lew Executive.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1709143/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Last Days On Mars (2013)

HAPPY NEW YEAR, FUCKERS!

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Last Days On Mars (2013)

Claire: 3.4/5 stars, 7.0/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6.6/10.
Native ratings: 3.1/5 stars Netflix, 5.5/10 IMDB.

Claire’s thoughts: Martian zombies oh my. This was an entertaining movie that straddled the genres of “sci-fi”, “horror”, and “zombie”.  It might have been better if they hadn’t gone the zombie/monster route, but it was interesting nonetheless.

Unfortunately, it feels more sci-fi at the beginning, and more horror at the end.  When the sci-fi decreases and the horror increases, the movie becomes less good.  Less about Mars and more about running away from monsters. Less of the rarer, more difficult, more intellectually complex genre of scifi, and more of the easier, less complex, more generic genre of horror.  I love horror-comedy and scifi-comedy, but scifi-becomes-horror is much worse.

While still a good movie, this could have reached a greater potential.

A better movie that straddles sci-fi, horror, and zombies would be Pandorum. If you are tempted to watch Last Days On Mars – I’d go watch Pandorum instead.

Carolyn’s thoughts: This was alright, but it didn’t leave me feeling all that excited about it.  I give it a slightly-above-generic pass.

Directed by Ruairi Robinson.
Written by Clive Dawson.
Based on a short story by Sydney J. Bounds.

Starring
Liev Schreiber (Victor Creed in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Movie 43, Goon, The Ten, Repo Men, Salt, Kate & Leopold, Scream 2-3) as Vincent Campbell.
Elias Koteas (A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, Let Me In, Defendor, Shutter Island, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, Exotica, Casey Jones in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 & 3) as Charles Brunel.
Romola Garai as Rebecca Lane.
Olivia Williams (Hanna, Moira MacTaggart in X-Men: The Last Stand, The Sixth Sense, 1 ep of Spaced) as Kim Aldrich.
Johnny Harris (Snow White And The Huntsman, Dorian Gray, The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus, Big) as Robert Irwin.
Goran Kostic as Marko Petrovic.
Tom Cullen as Richard Harrington.
Yusra Warsama as Lauren Dalby.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1709143/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Red Dawn (2012) [remake]

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Red Dawn (2012) [remake]

Claire: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 3.8/5 stars Netflix (original got 3.6), 5.5/10 IMDB (original got 6.3).

Carolyn’s thoughts: I had never seen the original, and I didn’t really know what this movie was about.  When we were about to watch it, Claire told me what the original one was about, and she told me about the only scene from the original that she remembered.  I think this was a pretty good action movie.   I asked Claire how it compared to the original, but she doesn’t remember the original.  I think it could have touched more on the political aspect, but it was good as a movie about war.

Claire thoughts: I don’t remember the original, so everything I say is possibly bullshit, but I feel like this one actually touched on the political aspect more than the original. Of course they couldn’t go to it in TOO great detail, because it wouldn’t actually make sense for North Korea to attack us on the ground. It’s one of those things you kinda gotta suspend disbelief of in order to enjoy the movie.
But anyway, this was a good remake. The modern take on things — switching the enemy from Russia to North Korea, incorporating cyberwarfare into the setup, etc — helped revamp the story to be more relevant and enjoyable to people who might not know what it was like to be alive in the 1980’s. I’m all for that.

It’s also great because it shows how just a few people with just a few guns can indeed make a big difference. Gun control proponents often like to make the fallacious appeal to how awesome our army is by saying that it would be impossible to fight the american government with the guns that we have available to us. But the thing is, there are nice assault rifles out there that a lot of people have. And it only takes a few people with a few guns (or bombs) to make a big fucking difference: Just look at how long we’ve been in Iraq and Afghanistan. The number of armed citizens over there is far lower than over here, and we actually tend to have better guns than poorer countries. So yeah. I find the insurgency part of this story far more believable than the idea that we’d ever be attacked like that in the first place.

Regardless of believability, seeing people fight the good fight — for their homes, for their families — really filled me with a lot of patriotic spirit and love of the idea of human hope continuing to exist because it’s always possible for there to be a fight. This movie really embodied the American spirit — the original spirit, not what it is today. I liked that a lot. *patriot tear*

Directed by Dan Bradley (he is usually a stuntman or a second unit director).
Written by: Carl Ellsworth (The Last House On The Left, 2 eps of Xena) and Jeremy Passmore.

Starring Chris Hemsworth (Thor in The Avengers and Thor movies, Star Trek 12: Into Darkness, Snow White And The Huntsman, The Cabin In The Woods) as Jed Eckert.
Josh Peck (Casey Jones in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012), The Wackness, Special, Spun, Ice Age movies, 1 ep of MADtv, 1 ep of Samurai Jack, 1 ep of Family Guy) as Matt Eckert.
Josh Hutcherson (Peeta in The Hunger Games movies, Journey To The Center Of The Earth, Zathura: A Space Adventure, Bridge To Terabithia, Howl’s Moving Castle, American Splendor, 1 ep of Justice League) as Robert Kitner.
Adrianne Palicki (Jaye in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, 4 eps of Robot Chicken, 1 ep of Family Guy) as Toni Walsh.
Isabel Lucas (Daybreakers, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen) as Erica Martin.
Edwin Hodge (The Purge, Dorm Daze 1, Take Me Home Tonight, 1 ep of Heroes) as Danny.
Brett Cullen (The Dark Knight Rises) as Tom Eckert.
Will Yun Lee (The Wolverine, Total Recall remake) as Captain Cho.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Live!) as Tanner.
Fernando Chien (Iron Man 3, The Mummy 3) as Lt. Pak.
Kenneth Choi (Captain America movie, 4 eps of 24, 1 ep of Heroes) as Smith.
Matt Gerald (G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Avatar, Terminator 3) as Hodges.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1234719/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: American Mary (2012)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: American Mary (2012)

Claire: 4.4/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8.4/10.
Native ratings: 3.6/5 stars Netflix, 6.3/10 IMDB.

Well… That movie certainly made me feel uncomfortable and disturbed. A lot.
And sad.
And ashamed of humanity.

This movie is visceral. Casting Ginger from Ginger Snaps was brilliant, but this character was a far more quiet and detached character than Ginger was. Detached, desperate, and alone, American Mary has no sister to riff of of.

Just herself, and a cruel world.
And surgery.
Unlicensed, unauthorized, cash-only surgery.

Things could have gone straightforward, but they actually got fucked up fast.

This movie really feels like Nip/Tuck, perhaps with a tiny pinch of Rules Of Attraction thrown in. I can’t help but think that this movie would the all-time favorite movie of the barber from The Marvelous Misadventures Of Flapjack.

I definitely yelled out in my disturbedness more than once.  I’m amazed that things turned out the way they did.

Carolyn’s thoughts: This was intense and kept you riveted.  There were some confusing parts when it flashed back or forward, or had a dream sequence that could kind of throw you off.  But overall, it was very intense and I really liked it.  It was neat seeing the girl from Ginger Snaps again.

Written & directed by Jen & Sylvia Soska (who played the twins).

Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps movies, Freddy Vs. Jason, 30 Days Of Night: Dark Days, Insomnia, Titanic, 1 ep of Smallville, 1 ep of The L Word) as Mary Mason.
Antonio Cupo (2 eps of Dark Angel, 1 ep of The L Word) as Billy Barker.
Tristan Risk as Beatress Johnson.
David Lovgren (2 eps of Smallville, 2 eps of The L Word) as Dr. Grant.
Paula Lindberg (Iron Man: Armored Adventures, Mobile Suit Gundam 00) as Ruby Realgirl.
Clay St. Thomas (1 ep of the 2009 V series) as Dr. Walsh.
John Emmet Tracy (1 ep of Smallville) as Detective Dolor.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1959332/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Ender’s Game (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Ender’s Game (2013)

Claire: 5/5 stars, 9.4/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Native ratings: 3.9/5 stars Netflix, 7.0/10 IMDB.

It’s weird how certain I was that I would love this movie, given how very little I actually knew (i.e. nothing) about this original story. I just knew that this was a science fiction legend being done as a high budget film, and that it would be very hard to fuck it up enough to make me & Carolyn hate it.

So yes: This movie was awesome! My only real complaint is kind of standard for good books trying to be good movies: It felt a bit rushed. This should have been a 3- to 3.5-hour movie, not a 2-hour movie. If they had done this Lord Of The Rings-style, it would have definitely received a 10/10 from me.

This movie occupies a strange mental space somewhere near The Last Starfighter, but nearer to Starship Troopers. Neat things happen, happen too fast, and leave you wanting more. I’d love for there to be a sequel, given that there were 4 books.

Carolyn’s thoughts: This turned out surprisingly well.  It kept you interested, and it told the story well.  The special effects were awesome, and we ended up watching this “upscaled” from 2-D to 3-D.  Pretty awesome.

Written & Directed by Gavin Hood (director of X-Men Origins: Wolverine).
Based on a book by Orson Scott Card.

Asa Butterfield as Ender Wiggin.
Harrison Ford as Colonel Graff.
Hailee Steinfeld as Petra Arkanian.
Abigail Breslin (Zombieland, Signs) as Valentine Wiggin.
Ben Kingsley (Iron Man 3, The Dictator, Prince Of Persia, The Wackness, A.I., Sneakers) as Mazer Rackham.
Viola Davis (Knight And Day, Kate & Leopold) as Major Gwen Anderson.
Aramis Knight (The Dark Knight Rises, 3 eps of Dexter) as Bean.
Moises Arias (Despicable Me 2, The Secret World Of Arrietty, Astro Boy, Hannah Montana) as Bonzo Madrid.
Jimmy ‘Jax’ Pinchak (Let Me In) as Peter Wiggin.
Nonso Anozie (Conan The Barbarian remake) as Sergeant Dap.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1731141/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Wolverine (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Wolverine (2013)

Claire: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Carolyn: 4.6/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Evan: 4/5 stars.
Native ratings: 3.7/5 stars Netflix, 6.8/10 IMDB.

Watched in 3-D: I’ve noticed it’s really hard for me to rate 3-D movies, because the 3-d distracts me from my normal train of thought. I think some of my being-impressed-with gets transferred from the content of the movie into the spectacle of 3-D.

But hey — I guess I loved this movie, ’cause superhero stuff kicks ass, so i guess that’s 5 stars.  But I was’t orgasming over it, so I guess it’s a low 5 stars, so I guess I agree with Carolyn’s 4.6/5 rating.

Love Marvel. Love mutants. Love the X-Men. Love Wolverine. It’s almost impossible for Marvel to screw up; these movies are barely worth reviewing because they’re incredibly consistent to us.

Carolyn’s thoughts: Entertaining movie about Wolverine and the Mariko story origin. I’m looking forward to the sequel, if it ever comes out.  We love the comic superheros and I’m glad they are continuing to make them into movies.  The 3-D was alright, but didn’t seem as spectacular as it could have been.  Judging from the quality of the mountains at the beginning that Claire noticed, maybe it was converted to 3-D.
Evan: That fake mountain was pretty hilarious. Is it wrong that I like the ninja guy better then Hawkeye? (As a ranger-type character.) The 3-D is always better at your place, so my ratings typically go up a notch when I rewatch stuff there. I’d give wolvy a 4. Not enough action.

Directed by James Mangold (Kate & Leopold, Girl Interrupted, Knight And Day).
Written by Mark Bomback (Fifty Shades Of Grey, Total Recall remake) and Scott Frank (Get Shorty, Minority Report, Dead Again).

Starring Hugh Jackman (X-Men movies, Movie 43, Rise Of The Guardians, Van Helsing, Kate & Leopold) as Logan.
Tao Okamoto as Mariko.
Rila Fukushima as Yukio.
Hiroyuki Sanada (Ring & Ring 2, Speed Racer, 5 eps of Lost) as Shingen.
Svetlana Khodchenkova as Viper.
Brian Tee (1 ep of The Problem Solverz, 1 ep of Sym-Bionic Titan) as Noburo.
Hal Yamanouchi as Yashida.
Will Yun Lee (Total Recall remake) as Harada.
Famke Janssen (The Faculty, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, The Wackness, The Ten, 11 eps of Nip/Tuck) as Jean Grey.
Ian McKellen as Magneto (uncredited).
Patrick Stewart as Charles Xavier (uncredited).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1430132/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The ‘Burbs (1989)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The ‘Burbs (1989)

Claire: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 3.5/5 stars Netflix, 6.8/10 IMDB.

Claire’s thoughts:  This was well-done, and almost reminded me of a Tim Burton feel (but not look) of a movie.

But an even more compelling reason to watch is if you are an American Dad fan. Francine’s voice actress stars in this movie. She’s basically the sexiness of the movie.
Or watch it for Corey Feldman.
Or get lost in IMDB and discover that Brother Theodore was the voice of Gollum in the 1977 Hobbit animated movie…. And get side-tracked watching his David Letterman appearance.

These older movies are charming because everyone’s gone on to do other things. No wait. Just Francine. Everyone else’s career went down the tube. At least she still has her voice on primetime television. Nevermind.

I’m glad I finally got to watch it. It wasn’t super, but it was a good movie.

Carolyn’s thoughts:  I had missed this when it came out.  It was pretty funny, though.  I enjoyed it a lot.

Directed by Joe Dante (Gremlins movies, Explorers, Piranha, Innerspace).
Written by Dana Olsen (Inspector Gadget movie, 2 eps of Laverne & Shirley).

Starring Tom Hanks as Ray Peterson.
Bruce Dern (Django Unchained, 2 eps of Bonanza, 1 ep of King Of The Hill) as Lt. Mark Rumsfield, the ex-soldier neighbor.
Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia in the Star Wars movies, When Harry Met Sally, Scream 3, Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back, A Midsummer Night’s Rave, Fanboys, Cougar Club, 19 eps of Family Guy, 1 ep of Smallville, 1 ep of Weeds) as Carol Peterson, Ray’s wife.
Rick Ducommun (Scary Movie, Groundhog Day, Ghost In The Machine, Loaded Weapon 1, Encino Man, Gremlins 2, Spaceballs, 2 eps of Max Headroom, 2 eps of Garfield & Friends) as Art Weingartner, the crazy neighbor.
Corey Feldman as Ricky Butler, the teenager who likes people-watching.
Wendy Schaal (Francine in American Dad, *batteries not included, Innerspace, 19 eps of Fantasy Island, 3 eps of Six Feet Under, 2 eps of The Love Boat, 1 ep of Friends) as Bonnie Rumsfield, the hot wife.
Henry Gibson (Wedding Crashers, Magnolia, Gremlins 2, Innerspace, 13 eps of The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy, 7 eps of King Of The Hill, 1 ep of Stripperella, 1 ep of Knight Rider, 1 ep of Malcolm In The Middle) as Dr. Werner Klopek, mysterious new neighbor.
Brother Theodore (Gollum in the 1970’s The Hobbit and The Return Of The King animated features, The Last Unicorn) as Uncle Reuben Klopek, mysterious new neighbor.
Courtney Gains (National Lampoon Presents Dorm Daze, Back To The Future, Children Of The Corn) as Hans Klopek, mysterious new neighbor.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096734/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Assault Of The Party Nerds (1989)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Assault Of The Party Nerds (1989)

Claire: 2.4/5 stars, 5.4/10.
Carolyn: 2.4/5 stars, 5.4/10.
Native ratings: 2.4/5 stars Netflix, 3.6/10 IMDB.

A typical 1980s party/sex comedy movie that doesn’t really have too much of a plot.  This is the type of movie that they would have shown on “USA Up All Night!” back in the day.

This movie had some of the worst acting I’ve seen in my life, but since it was a very obvious low-budget b-movie, that was kind of to be expected.

Another complaint: Only 18 actors. It’s unconscionable to have a party movie where scenes of the party only have 2 people on the screen, with only 1 or 2 extras passing by the entire scene. Party movies are supposed to have big parties with tons of people!

The characters were basically: 4 nerds, 3 jocks, 3 girlfriends, 1 frat-legend old-guy, and 3 party hookups.  Only 4 other people in the whole fucking movie!  It would have had a lot more of a party feel if they had used more actors.

Carolyn’s thoughts: It was a very slow buildup. I was wondering when the party happened already. There were a few almost-redeeming moments (mountain of beer cans collapsing and William Tell Overture computer-keyboarding), but otherwise, the movie just fell flat. It didn’t have much else going for it. Oh, no, I can’t believe there’s a sequel.

Claire again: Wow, a sequel. WTF. And it’s rated even lower? Not sure why.

This wasn’t good. But it had good things about it. It wasn’t serious. You get to laugh a few times. Sometimes you’re laughing at the actual jokes in the movie, but most of the time you’re just laughing at how bad the movie is. Either way, laughter is great medicine.

But I could have used more of it.

Directed by, written by and starring Richard Gabai.

Richard Gabai (he’s in a decent amount of movies, but we haven’t seen any of them) as Ritchie.
Richard Rifkin (Hellboy 2, 8 eps of The Pillars Of The Earth) as W.O.L.A. (World’s Oldest Living Active).
Joe Whyte (The Emperor’s New Groove, Chicken Little) as T.K..
Marc Silverberg (1 ep of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and one other movie. Not much at all!) as Scott.
Troy Donahue (Sex Pot) as Sid Witherspoon, the frat-legend old guy.
Michelle Bauer as Muffin.
Linnea Quigley (again, lots of movies, but none that we’ve seen) as Bambi.
Kevin M. Glover as Cliff.
C. Paul Dempsey as Bud.
Robert Mann as Chip.
These people mostly didn’t go anywhere, becuase these people mostly weren’t talented.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096839/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Embrace Of The Vampire (1995)

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Embrace Of The Vampire (1995)

Claire: 2/5 stars, 4.6/10.
Carolyn: 2/5 stars, 5/10.
Native ratings: 2.9/5 stars Netflix, 4.3/10 IMDB.

This was almost a soft-porn. The only real reason to watch this is to see Alyssa Milano’s naked body several times. And frankly, that’s enough to make me not regret watching it.  We get a little Jennifer Tilly sexiness too, but it’s mostly Alyssa Milano. Who’s the boss now?!?

But man.. We almost aborted this 10 minutes in, just based on how bad it felt.

At least, after awhile, a plot made itself evident.

Why the FUCK did they remake this in 2013?  WHYYYYYY?

Carolyn’s thoughts: This wasn’t that great.  It was barely even tolerable.  The border-line soft porn aspect helped a little.  Alyssa Milano is hot as always.

Directed by Anne Goursaud.

Written by Halle Eaton, Nicole Coady and Rick Bitzelberger (10 eps of Undressed).

Alyssa Milano (Who’s The Boss, Charmed, 1 ep of Young Justice) as Charlotte.
Martin Kemp (How To Stop Being A Loser, Can’t Buy Me Love) as Vampire.
Harold Pruett (9 eps of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, 8 eps of Medicine Ball) as Chris.
Jordan Ladd (Hostel 2, Death Proof, Grindhouse, Cabin Fever, Nowhere, 5 eps of Robot Chicken) as Eliza.
Rachel True (Half Baked, Nowhere, 3 eps of Dream On, 1 ep of The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air) as Nicole.
Charlotte Lewis (1 ep of Seinfeld) as Sarah.
Jennifer Tilly (Bonnie Swanson in Family Guy, Monsters Inc., Stuart Little, some Chucky movies, 2 eps of It’s Garry Shandling’s Show, 1 ep of Cheers, 1 ep of Dream On) as Marika.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109723/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Confessions Of A Porn Addict (2008)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Confessions Of A Porn Addict (2008)

Claire: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6.6/10.
Native ratings: 2.3/5 stars Netflix, 5.1/10 IMDB.

This was sitting in our “to watch” pile for awhile. Why? Because Kenny Vs. Spenny is a hilarious show, and we were very curious what Spenny‘s movie about a porn addict would be like.  Then we watched Don Juan and both of us remembered that this movie existed and had been on our pile for years.  So we were also curious how this would compare with Don Juan (answer: Exact same rating from Claire, 0.4/10 higher IMDB rating from Carolyn).

This was slightly better than we expected, because our expectations were extremely low. This was obviously going to be a low-budget, unpolished, possibly-improvised, mockumentary-feeling kinda comedy. It wasn’t necessarily funny most of the time — but it was pretty awkward and cringe-inducing.

Spenny has awkward down pat. He basically just plays himself, since he’s awkward in real life. And it works.

Putting him in a relationship like that? That was pretty awesome. The reconciliation? Easily the most ridiculous reconciliation I’ve ever seen between two characters in any work of fiction that I’ve ever read, watched or listened to in my life. Worth it for that. So worth it.

It’s not great, but it is entertaining — with a few sigular laughs.  A tuesday-night kinda movie.

Directed by Duncan Christie (1 ep of Kenny Vs. Spenny, 1 ep of Single White Spenny)
Written by Spencer Rice (Kenny Vs. Spenny, Single White Spenny) and Duncan Christie.

Starring Spencer Rice as Mark Tobias.
Mark Breslin as Bob.
Lindsey Connell (Cube 2) as Felice.
Michael McMurtry (5 eps of Undergrads) as Marilyn Monroe Impersonator.
Michelle Morgan (1 ep of The L Word) as The Wrong Felice.
Errol Sitahal (Harold & Kumar 1-2) as Video Store Clerk.
Philip Williams (Max Payne, 1 ep of Puppets Who Kill) as Support Group Guy #1 (as Phil Williams).
Cecil Phillips (X-Men 1) as Support Group Guy #4.
Robert Black (porn director) as Himself.
Duncan Christie as Himself.
Kevin Morgan (miscellaneous crew on Kenny Vs. Spenny) as Himself.
Matt Zane (porn director/actor, Robert Black’s cousin) as Himself.
Tom Byron (has been in over 1600 pornos) as Himself.
Lizzy Borden (porn actress) as Herself.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1207648/combined

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT She left him due to his porn addiction and disappered, so he went to a support group for sex addicts, and one of the addicts recognized her from a picture… so he realized she’d gone into porn, but had only made one movie… he tried to find her via porn contacts, but they thought he was a creepy fanboy and tried to assault him.. so then they had to go undercover…when they heard about her bukkake scene, he managed to infiltrate as one of the bukkake-givers, and when it was his turn to cum on her face, that’s when he took off the raincoat and revealed himself, they reuined, and she kissed him with a bunch of loads all over her face.. most awkward relationship reunin EVER SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: After Earth (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: After Earth (2013)

Claire: 3.2/5 stars, 6.8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 7.4/10.
Native ratings: 3.1/5 stars Netflix, 5.0/10 IMDB.

Claire’s thoughts: This wasn’t as good as I hoped.  Interstellar travel, yet we spend our time on earth. Futuristic technology, yet we mostly just see clothes and a sword.  Too much father stuff and not enough aliens stuff.  The moral of fear being optional is a bit too Vulcan for me. I’ll file it under “sacharrine platitudes” right next to “you can be anything you want to be” and “looks don’t matter”.  The kid’s accent is annoying, and why would I want to watch a movie that’s mostly just a kid in the woods anyway? And WHERE’S MY FUCKING TWIST, Shyamalan? Is the twist of this movie that there isn’t a twist???

That’s a lot of bad things I just said, but I still liked the movie. It just wasn’t spectacular. I think these days people have come to expect that from Shyamalan. They should have let him continue with the Avatar movies, goddamnit. The Last Airbender 2 would have been so much better than this.

I still liked it though.

Carolyn’s thoughts: I thought the point of the movie would be to show more of what happened to earth after the humans abandoned it.  They touched on how nature took over, but I thought it would more about that and less about the kid’s relationship with his father. The accent was kind of annoying at first, but then you get used to it.

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan (The Last Airbender, Lady In The Water, The Village, Signs, Unbreakable, The Sixth Sense)
Screenplay written by Gary Whitta (Walking Dead video games) and M. Night Shyamalan.
Story written by Will Smith.

Starring Will Smith’s son Jaden Smith (The Day The Earth Stood Still) as Kitai Raige.
Will Smith (The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, Men In Black movies, Wild Wild West, Independence Day, I Robot, Hancock, Anchorman 2) as Cypher Raige.
Sophie Okonedo (Sithandra in Aeon Flux, Hotel Rwanda, ) as Faia Raige.
Zoe Kravitz (X-Men: First Class, It’s Kind Of A Funny Story) as Senshi Raige.
Glenn Morshower (Aaron Pierce in 24, X-Men: First Class, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, The Men Who Stare At Goats) as Commander Velan.
David Denman (Roy Anderson in The Office, Fanboys, Big Fish) as Private McQuarrie.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1815862/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Last Vegas (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Last Vegas (2013)

Claire: 4.2/5 stars, 8.2/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 3.7/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

This was pretty funny.  Old people decide to go on a Vegas trip for a bachelor party. We had our honeymoon in Vegas, so it always imparts a personal meaning to movies that take place in Vegas.  I gotta say, though, that these guys appeared to have had a better time than us ;) Because movie logic kicks ass. Want the best party ever? Just have a 10 second montage where you’re passing out flyers. Bam! Party appears! Not even Pinkie Pie can manage that!

But there’s actually a lot more to this. Distinct characters with distinct stories. Honestly, if you drink too much while watching this movie, it can actually confuse you! This is described as “Hangover for old people”, but there’s no real hangover or major binge drinking in the movie. Just a bunch of stuff happening, with jokes interspersed.

This is how a party comedy is meant to be, and it’s very refreshing to see it with old people instead of young people.  (Either way, none of them will be MY age.) [40 as of writing this review]

Honestly, I’m surprised they pulled it off.  This entertained, and that’s all I really want from a comedy about a bachelor party in Vegas.

Directed by Jon Turteltaub (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, National Treasure movies).
Written by Dan Fogelman (Crazy Stupid Love).

Starring:
Michael Douglas as Billy.
Robert De Niro as Paddy.
Morgan Freeman as Archie.
Kevin Kline (Mr. Fischoeder in Bob’s Burgers, The Pink Panther (2006)) as Sam.
Mary Steenburgen (Clara Clayton in Back To The Future 3 and the TV series, Four Christmases, Step Brothers, Inland Empire, Elf, 5 eps of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Diana.
Romany Malco (Conrad in Weeds, Darius in Unsupervised, Blades Of Glory, The 40-Year Old Virgin) as Lonnie.
Roger Bart (Harold & Kumar 2, Hostel 2, The Stepford Wives, 1 ep of The Life & Times Of Tim) as Maurice.
Joanna Gleason (Maddy Platter in King Of The Hill, 1 ep of Delocated) as Miriam.
Marla Malcolm (\+1, Road Trip) as Party Guest.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1204975/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Bad Milo (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Bad Milo (2013)

Claire: 4/5 stars, 7.7/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 7.7/10.
Native ratings: 2.8/5 stars Netflix, 5.7/10 IMDB.

Of interest if you like Ken “I want to dip my balls in it” Marino from The State.

This is a comedy-horror, with a lot of ass grossness.  A monster lives in Ken Marino’s ass.

However — for a movie where characters are mildly covered in shit during several scenes — it was surprisingly funny and not that visually gross.

Comedy-horror is a great genre, almost post-modern in its own admission that this wouldn’t really happen, so you’re not actually supposed to be scared, so the whole “horror” genre becomes an oxymoron.  And this movie is moronic, alright…

Funny and entertaining. Absolutely more fun than movies more well-written than this.  A very singular movie. I don’t think I’ll see this story repeated much :)

This could have been a Troma movie… But it’s actually produced better than that.
This could have been a skit from The State… But it’s actually produced better than that.

It was surprising how… legitimate?!?!…And…Cute?!?!?!… this movie could be at times?!?!?! What the fuck, I’m typing that??  Well… I guess that’s kind of part of the joke. The ending is quite what I would have expected. Dare I say it was heartwarming?  Wow.

Directed by Jacob Vaughan.
Written by Jacob Vaughan and Benjamin Hayes.

Starring Ken Marino (The State, Childrens Hospital, Stella, Wet Hot American Summer, Flute Cop in Axe Cop, Wanderlust, In A World, Hoodwinked, 1 ep of The Sarah Silverman Program) as Duncan.
Gillian Jacobs (The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, Hot Tub Time Machine 2, 1 ep of The Venture Bros., 1 ep of Robot Chicken, 1 ep of Aqua Teen Hunger Force) as Sarah, the wife.
Mary Kay Place (Smashed, Youth In Revolt, Being John Malkovich, It’s Complicated, Girl Interrupted, Shrek Forever After, 6 eps of My So-Called Life, 3 eps of King Of The Hill, 1 ep of The Life & Times Of Tim) as Beatrice, the mom.
Claudia Choi (1 ep of Weeds) as Jillian.
Toby Huss (Kahn Souphanousinphone Sr in King Of The Hill, Carnivale, Bedazzled, 4 eps of The Venture Bros., 4 eps of Harvey Birdman, 2 eps of Beavis & Butt-head (2011), 1 ep of NTSF:SD:SUV, 1 ep of Childrens Hospital, 1 ep of Adventure Time, 2 eps of Kung Fu Panda) as Dr. Yeager.
Patrick Warburton (Seinfeld, The Tick, Family Guy, The Venture Bros. Movie 43, Men In Black 2, 3 eps of Archer) as Phil, the boss.
Peter Stormare (Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Small Apartments, The Big Lebowski, Minority Report, Chocolat, 1 ep of Adventure Time) as Highsmith.
Kumail Nanjiani (Michael And Michael Have Issues, 6 eps of Portlandia, 3 eps of Newsreaders, 2 eps of Adventure Time, 1 ep of Drunk History) as Bobbi, the mom’s husband.
Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive in King Of The Hill, Office Space, NewsRadio, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, The Men Who Stare At Goats, Penguin in Batman: The Brave And The Bold, Superman: Unbound, 5 eps of Gravity Falls, 3 eps of The Legend Of Korra, 1 ep of the new Thundercats) as Roger, the dad.
Steve Zissis (1 ep of The Office) as Dr. Yip / Milo.
And as the voice of Ralph — the other turd-monster — we have David Herman (Scruffy from Futurama [as well as Wernstrom], Buckley from King Of The Hill, Mr. Frond from Bob’s Burgers, Idiocracy, Dude Where’s My Car?, Michael Bolton from Office Space, Steve from Brickleberry, Ubuntu from The Goode Family, Uncle Gabby from The Drinky Crow Show, Officer Papermouth from Moral Orel, Roy from Father Of The Pride, 2 eps of 24, MADtv).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2274570/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Back In The Day (2014)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Back In The Day (2014)

Claire: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.2/5 stars Netflix, 4.9/10 IMDB.

A chance to see the yester-stars of TV shows old, namely the “companion” from Firefly’s (Baccarin), and Lex Luther from Smallville (Rosembaum). But in a comedy!

This movie was kind of similar to Grown Ups, where a guy who had moved to Hollywood comes back to his childhood home to hang out with his old friends.  This wasn’t as funny, though.  It had its moments, and it held up enough, but it wasn’t groundbreaking.

There’s no IMDB trivia to explain that this was based on Michael Rosenbaum’s actual childhood friends, but Michael Rosenbaum’s IMDB trivia does mention that he goes back to Indianopolis every year to participate in a whiffleball tournament with his high school friends, and the ending of the movie seems to act like these characters were based on real people.

Anyway, this is a nostalgic movie that meanders all over the place. It’s not that great, other than being a comedy, and comedies are cool. It does have a romantic angle, but it’s still a straight comedy. Romance doesn’t take over the feel of the movie, though it does run the plot at points. But the jokes continue.  They’re not *super*, but they’re still funny.

The movie isn’t very memorable, but when I reviewed it a 2nd time, it was funnier than I had remembered, so there’s that.

Written, directed, and starring Michael Rosenbaum.

Morena Baccarin (the new V series, Firefly, 3 eps of Justice League, 1 ep of Batman: The Brave And The Bold) as Lori.
Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor in Smallville, The Flash in Justice League, Urban Legend, 12 eps of The Zeta Project, 11 eps of Jackie Chan Adventures, 6 eps of Batman Beyond, 1 ep of Batman: The Brave And The Bold) as Jim Owens.
Nick Swardson (Grandma’s Boy, Grown Ups 2, You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, The House Bunny, Blades Of Glory, Click) as Ron Freeman.
Harland Williams (Buckley in Slacker Cats, The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto, Wag The Dog, Dumb & Dumber, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Skunk.
Jay R. Ferguson (1 ep of Weeds) as Mark.
Isaiah Mustafa (The Three Stooges) as T.
Emma Caulfield (Buffy The Vampire Slayer series, TiMER, Beverly Hills 90210, 3 eps of Robot Chicken) as Molly.
Richard Marx as Neighbor. Really? Didn’t notice that.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2246887/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: +1 aka Plus 1 aka Plus One (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: +1 aka Plus 1 aka Plus One (2013)

Claire: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7.4/10.
Native ratings: 3.1/5 stars Netflix, 5.5/10 IMDB.

Parties are fun, but then the weird shit starts happening.  This movie managed to merge a high school reunion party, aliens, clones, and time distortion all into one light-hearted sci-fi thriller.  The party framework makes it feel almost as if it’s a comedy — there’s jokes and funny stuff and everything.

Ultimately, this was entertaining AND interesting. It was hard to know where the plot was going. Hints of the movie Triangle at times.

Also interesting was that the people with violent tendencies who decided to use lethal force were left “incomplete”. The peaceful ones focused on love and/or understanding simply got to become… more? Of course it’s ultimately unclear, but I did find it interesting and I liked that kind of commentary about violent tendencies.

Directed by Dennis Iliadis (The Last House On The Left)
Written by Dennis Iliadis and Bill Gullo.

Starring Rhys Wakefield (The Purge) as David. Claire recognized him instantly as being in The Purge.
Logan Miller (Nova in Ultimate Spider-Man, Would You Rather, 1 ep of Childrens Hospital) as Teddy.
Ashley Hinshaw as Jill.
Natalie Hall (181 eps of All My Children) as Melanie.
Ronald Ogden (1 ep of Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell) as Mike.
Marla Malcolm (Road Trip) as Heather.
Rhoda Griffis (The Hunger Games, Mean Girls 2, Year One, Road Trip) as Mrs. Howard (uncredited).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2395385/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Dark Horse (2011)

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Dark Horse (2011)

Claire: 3.6/5 stars, 7.8/10.
Carolyn: 3.6/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 2.8/5 stars Netflix, 5.9/10 IMDB.

Todd Solondz! One of my 15 favorite directors!

He doesn’t really make movies in genres that I like; he makes movies in genres I don’t like and manages to make them very interesting to me.

His movies are the ultimate in depressing awkwardness, with occasional black comedic effect.  And this movie lived up to that reputation.

Ultimately we have a movie about a main characther who is such a loser that everyone around him would be better off if he was dead. We end up with a very lonely movie.  It kind of makes us think about how detached, lonely, and desperate people really are (it’s more than most people think). We’re all just floating through life, scared, having no idea what we’re doing — and yet, grabbing on to the first person willing to grab back doesn’t magically solve these problems. I’ve learned it all too well myself, and this movie demonstrates it just again. The cold hard existental truth about the meaningless of human contact.

Interesting IMDB trivia: “Estelle Harris, Jason Alexander and Jerry Stiller were hired to do voice overs for the scenes where Mia Farrow and Christopher Walken sit stone-faced watching an unseen TV sitcom. Todd Solondz felt the Costanzas on the TV series Seinfeld were a sitcom version of the family he was depicting, but he couldn’t afford to use audio clips from Seinfeld.”

Written & directed by Todd Solondz (Palidromes; Happiness; Welcome To The Dollhouse; Fear, Anxiety & Depression [my favorite]).

Starring:
Jordan Gelber as Abe.
Selma Blair (Storytelling, Hellboy movies, A Dirty Shame, Cruel Intentions, Can’t Hardly Wait, Legally Blonde, Destiny in 2 eps of Out There, 1 ep of Portlandia) as Miranda.
Mia Farrow as Phyllis.
Christopher Walken as Jackie.
Justin Bartha (Doug in The Hangover movies, National Treasure movies, uncredited in 54) as Richard, the brother.
Aasif Mandvi (The Internship, Movie 43, The Dictator, It’s Kind Of A Funny Story, The Last Airbender, Spider-Man 2, 1 ep of King Of The Hill, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm) as Mahmoud.
Zachary Booth (Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist) as Justin.
Donna Murphy (The Bourne Legacy, The Fountain, Spider-Man 2) as Marie.
Tyler Maynard (there’s also a character called Jiminy in Palindromes) as Jiminy.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1690455/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Purge 1 (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIOEW: The Purge 1 (2013)

Claire: 4.4/5 stars, 8.4/10.
Carolyn: 4.4/5 stars, 8.4/10.
Native ratings: 3.1/5 stars Netflix, 5.5/10 IMDB (seems low, but IMDB is usually low).

What a premise: The government allows all crime to be legal for a period of 12 hours every year.

Carolyn thought it was an interesting commentary on human behavior and preventing crime, but then I had to interject that it was not a commentary on that at all. It was a commentary on using crime prevention as an excuse for class warfare: A phenomenon that is very real and happens in the real world today.  Very often — in the real world — the vaunted public interest of stopping crime or making people safe is used as an excuse to reduce personal liberty. And this is the ultimate example of that.

In that sense, this is a political commentary along the same lines as The Hunger Games, but in a more decentralized, less post-apocalyptic, less futuristic way. The society seems to be a present-day society, whereas Hunger Games seems to be 50-100 years in the future. But the message is the same: Class warfare is entertaining for the upper class, hell for the lower class, and is designed to destroy everyone but the rich.

So the movie had political ramifications for me, regardless of how good it was otherwise. And I liked that.

But I felt it was good, otherwise, as well. There were at least 5 different factions of people — not even counting the conflicting motives of the family. These factions all had their own agendas, and the viewer didn’t always know what they were. This allowed for a lot of small twists and surprises that helped betray one’s expectations and make the movie more interesting and less guessable.

Some people are mad at this movie because not everyone acted rationally. They seem to forget that a movie where everyone acted rationally would generally not be interesting. You need some people to do some stupid things to get everyone into a predicament, so that you can be entertained by the prospect of getting OUT of said predicament. Do I really have to explain this? A horror movie where everyone acted rational would mean, in this case, a movie where everyone locks up their house and nobody goes outside during The Purge. That. Would. Be. Boring. I’m sure there are plenty of horror movies where nobody does anything stupid. It wouldn’t work in this case. So I don’t view that as a valid complaint.

Written & directed by James DeMonaco.

Ethan Hawke (Gattaca, Daybreakers, Reality Bites, Mystery Date, Explorers, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as James Sandin, the dad.
Lena Headey (Dredd, Sarah Conner in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, St. Trinian’s (2007), 300, The Broken, The Brothers Grimm) as Mary Sandin, the wife.
Max Burkholder (Astro Boy, 17 eps of Family Guy, 2 eps of The Cleveland Show, 2 eps of American Dad, 1 ep of The Spectacular Spider-Man) as Charlie Sandin, the son.
Adelaide Kane (she’s in some new Teen Wolf show) as Zoey Sandin, the daughter.
Edwin Hodge (Dorm Daze 1, Take Me Home Tonight, 1 ep of Heroes) as Bloody Stranger.
Rhys Wakefield (+1) as Polite Leader. Claire recognized him instantly a few days later when we watched +1.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2184339/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Violet & Daisy (2011)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Violet & Daisy (2011)

Claire: 3.6/5 stars, 7.4/10.
Carolyn: 3.6/5 stars, 7.4/10.
Native ratings: 6.2/10 IMDB. Doesn’t seem to be on Netflix.

This was interesting and somewhat quirky black comedy about a pair of female underage BFF assassins. However, one is very alpha, while the other (Saoirse Ronan) sort of follows along. There are interesting dynamics between them, and things only get more interesting when they are awarded what turns out to be the most challenging hit of their careers. And not at all for the reasons you would think. Not at all.

It wasn’t that action-packed, but then again, it wasn’t an action movie. It kind of meandered a bit with the cryptic dream sequences, but for once, such an endeavor did not detract from the story. They were short, they were over, and they could be ignored if you chose to.

Watch this for one of James Gandolfini’s last performances before his death. He’s quite a different character from Tony Soprano here.  But also watch this if you are a Saoirse (“Seer-sha”) Ronan fan. That girl keeps growing on us. She’s only 19-20 and we’ve already seen 5 of her movies now.

This has a sort of indie feel to it, in that the plot isn’t as realistic, and the ending/meaning is slightly pretentious. I’m okay with that. We were entertained, and it was interesting, as well as having a lot of laughs. It earns the “comedy” in “action-comedy-crime-drama-thriller”, and comedy deserves to be the 2nd genre mentioned there. Though the comedy does thin out a bit near the end.

Written & directed by Geoffrey Fletcher.

Saoirse Ronan (The Host, Hanna, Byzantium, the voice of Arriety in The Secret World of Arrietty) as Daisy.
Alexis Bledel (Gilmore Girls) as Violet.
Danny Trejo (Breaking Bad, Predators, Harold & Kumar 3, The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto, Eyeborgs, Fanboys, Smiley Face, The Devil’s Rejects, Anchorman,Trojan War, Enrique on King Of The Hill, Machete in Spy Kids 1-3) as Russ. He gets around!
Marianne Jean-Baptiste (The Cell) as Iris.
James Gandolfini (Tony Soprano in The Sopranos, Where The Wild Things Are, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, Get Shorty) as Michael.
John Ventimiglia (Artie Bucco in The Sopranos) as Man #1. Claire recognized him immediately from Sopranos.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1634136/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Hunger Games 2: Catching Fire (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Hunger Games 2: Catching Fire (2013)

Claire: 5/5 stars, 8.9/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 8.9/10.
Native ratings: 4.4/5 stars Netflix, 8.1/10 IMDB.

What can we say that hasn’t been said? This is extremely popular, so it warrants less effort to review. Let’s just say: We fucking loved it. We love this trilogy and are glad it will only be another couple of years before we get to see the end of the story.

However…

However, it wasn’t as good as the first. That’s kind of to be expected with the middle movie of a trilogy.

Beware the abrupt ending. Abrupt ending is abrupt.

This movie really is more of the same, but with differences… Like the 2nd line in a three-line joke.

So some people will undoubtedly complain. I’ve already heard them complain.

I can’t find Claire’s review of the first one, but the ratings we emailed each other for the first one: Ca: 4.6/8.6, Cl: 5/9. So I liked this one better than the first one. I noticed that the average IMDB rating of the first one is 7.3 and the rating for this one is 8.1.

Directed by Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend).
Written by Simon Beaufoy (127 Hours, Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day, The Full Monty) and Michael Arndt (Toy Story 3, Brave).

Based on the book by Suzanne Collins.

Jennifer Lawrence (Mystique in X-Men: First Class) as Katniss Everdeen.
Liam Hemsworth (Triangle, The Expendables 2) as Gale Hawthorne.
Woody Harrelson as Haymitch Abernathy.
Josh Hutcherson (Journey To The Center Of The Earth, Zathura: A Space Adventure, Bridge To Terabithia, Howl’s Moving Castle, American Splendor, 1 ep of Justice League) as Peeta Mellark.
Donald Sutherland as President Snow.
Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games, Miri In Zack And Miri Make A Porno, Fred Claus, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Betty Brant in the Spider-Man movies, Wet Hot American Summer, The Details, Movie 43) as Effie Trinket.
Nelson Ascencio (he’s a writer and various voices on MADtv, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of The Larry Sanders Show) as Flavius.
Lenny Kravitz as Cinna.
Stanley Tucci (Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters, Captain America: The First Avenger, Swing Vote) as Caesar Flickerman.
Wilbur Fitzgerald (Anchorman 2, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, RoboCop 3) as Cray.
Patrick St. Esprit (Super 8) as Commander Thread.
Toby Jones (Dobby’s voice in the Harry Potter movies, Snow White And The Huntsman, Captain America: The First Avenger, Saint Trinian’s 2) as Claudius Templesmith.
Jena Malone (Sucker Punch, Howl’s Moving Castle, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Johanna Mason.
Philip Seymour Hoffman (The Invention Of Lying, The Boat That Rocked aka Pirate Radio, The Big Lebowski, Magnolia, Boogie Nights, Scent Of A Woman, Twister) as Plutarch Heavensbee.
Sam Claflin (Pirates Of The Caribbean 4, Snow White And The Huntsman) as Finnick Odair.

Bruce Bundy as Octavia. I was trying to figure out who she is and whether I should list her, and I was like “Wait, isn’t Bruce a boy’s name?” Then I see her early credits say she was credited as “Brooke Bundy” so then I was wondering if she went through a sex change… Nope, I guess according to her facebook page, there was already a Brooke Bundy so she decided to go with Bruce as a “bold move”. Weird stuff. I still don’t know what character she is in the movie, though.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1951264/combined