VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Evil Dead (2013) [Remake]

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Evil Dead (2013) [Remake]

Claire: 3.4/5 stars, 7/10.
Carolyn: 3.1/5 stars, 6/10.
Native ratings: 3.3/5 stars Netflix, 6.5/10 IMDB.

Claire:  Pretty generic horror.   It was rushed. That’s both good and bad. True to the original in being kind of cheesy and not really that scary. Still had tree rape, but perhaps not as disturbingly as the original. It wasn’t that different, to me.

Carolyn:  The original was better.  This one just jumped right into it and barely had any story.  That made it pretty generic, like Claire said.

Directed by Fede Alvarez.  Written by: Fede Alvarez & Rodo Sayagues.

Starring Jane Levy (49 eps of Suburgatory) as Mia, the drug-addict.
Shiloh Fernandez (Deadgirl) as David, her brother.
Lou Taylor Pucci (Fanboys, The Informers) as Eric, the male friend.
Jessica Lucas (Cloverfield) as Olivia, the female friend.
Elizabeth Blackmore as Natalie, David’s girlfriend.
Jim McLarty (The Frighteners, 1 ep of 21 Jump Street, 4 eps of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, 1 ep of Xena: Warrior Princess) as Harold.
Stephen Butterworth (20 eps of Mirror, Mirror; 3 eps of Xena: Warrior Princess, 1 ep of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys) as Toothless Redneck.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1288558/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Immortal (Ad Vitam) (2004)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Immortal (Ad Vitam) (2004)

Claire: 2.4/5 stars, 5.4/10.
Carolyn: 2.6/5 stars, 5.6/10.
Evan: 2.7/5 stars, 5.5/10.
Native ratings: 3.0/5 stars Netflix, 5.9/10 IMDB.

I GOT A NEW TV! And this was the first thing watched on it– A weird animation/live-action mix sci-fi flick taking place in 2095 and dealing with gods, aliens, possession, being raped by a person possessed by a god….. All based on a trilogy of French comic books.

Carolyn: This didn’t live up to our expectations. It was nice to see as the first 3-D movie on our new TV, but it was hard to follow the story. It had a lot going on: Egyptian gods, aliens, genetically altered humans and mutants, escaped prisoners who are being tracked down… It was a lot to keep track of, especially while visually enjoying the 3-D. There was potential, but it didn’t quite get there.

Claire: I didn’t like the movie that much. Visually, it was very awesome, but I still didn’t really like it — Which made it a good choice for my first non-anaglyph 3-D home movie viewing. When you get a new tech setup, you don’t want to dive right in and watch/do your favorite/most-important thing first, because you still want to do system tuning. I’m very glad that the first 3-D movie I watched was NOT one that I enjoyed, because it turns out my TV wasn’t 100% setup correctly (had to turn sharpness down) anyway. I’d much rather have a setup error affect a 2-star movie than a 5-star movie :)

But yea. It was confusing. I wasn’t really sure what the fuck was going on a lot of the time. I didn’t really understand how the side-plots really fit together with the main plot. It was great eye candy, and I sort of digested it that way. The eyes of some of the CGI characters were so 3-dimensionally sunken into their head that it was creepy as fuck! Definitely interesting, and I’m glad I finally watched it, but yeah… Missed potential is the name of the game here.

Evan: I’d agree that it had potential, but their effects needed a lot more polish before I would really consider it any good. If they had made the whole movie animation [instead of a mix of animation and live-action], it might have gotten a better score.

Directed by Enki Bilal. Written by Enki Bilal (comic books “La Foire Aux Immortels” and “La Femme Pie`ge”), Serge Lehman.

Starring Linda Hardy as Jill Bioskop.
Thomas Kretschmann (Hostel 3, 2 eps of 24) as Alcide Nikopol.
Charlotte Rampling (12 eps of Dexter) as Dr. Elma Turner.
Yann Collette as Froebe.
Fre’de’ric Pierrot as John.
Thomas M. Pollard as Horus.
Joe Sheridan as Allgood.
Corinne Jaber as Lily Liang.
Olivier Achard as Checker.
Jerry Di Giacomo as Jack Turner.
Paul Bandey as Dayaks (voice).
Coralie Seyrig as Bastet (voice).
Goran Vejvoda as Anubis (voice).
Barbara Scaff (Heavy Rain) as Jill (voice).
Dominic Gould as John (voice).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0314063/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Slipstream (2007)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Slipstream (2007)

Claire: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Carolyn: 3.4/5 stars, 7.2/10.
Native ratings: 5.0/10 IMDB. NOT available on Netflix. Do not be fooled. They have a movie called Slipstream, but it is not this movie. It is a 1989 movie. This is a 2007 movie. I know nothing about the 1989 one.

Claire: Seriously though… What the fuck just happened?

This only made it to a 3/7 from me because of how psychdelic and trippy it was. The cerebreal movie-within-a-movie thing helped make things very interesting, but it also helped make things very confusing, very lacking of real resolution, and very inconsistent in tone. The tone goes from arthouse to thriller to comedy to confusion… All in all, I don’t think the rewards of the various interesting gimmicks used was equal to the cost and damage done by using those very same gimmicks.

The main reason to see this is to see the only movie ever written or directed by Anthony Hopkins. Ththththththththt. I have a personal connection to the man, because my next-door neighbor was an extra in Silence Of The Lambs.

I like it less and less as my memory of it fades. And it also seems to be a forgettable movie, not because it wasn’t novel, but because there was so much to it. So now my own rating seems high to me.

Carolyn: Not a comedy. Very psychedelic, and barely making any sense. It was very confusing, and the beginning had a lot of quick frame flashes that were distracting, but also intriguing. Unfortunately, it just kind of limped through and barely made any sense. I thought it was intriguing, but I feel like it didn’t quite live up to its potential.

Written, directed, and starring Anthony Hopkins.

Also starring Stella Arroyave (Anthony Hopkins‘ wife) as Gina.
Christian Slater (Heathers, Zoolander, Young Guns 2, 6 eps of Robot Chicken) as Ray / Matt Dobbs / Patrolman #2.
John Turturro (Barton Fink in Barton Fink, Transformers movies, The Big Lebowski, Monkeybone, Mr. Deeds, Anger Management, O Brother Where Art Thou?) as Harvey Brickman.
Michael Clarke Duncan (Kilowog in The Green Lantern-TAS, Kung Fu Panda, Kingpin in Dare Devil, Kingpin in 2 eps of Spider-Man-TAS (2000s), The Scorpion King, 1 ep of Ultimate Spider-Man) as Mort / Phil Henderson / Patrolman.
Camryn Manheim (Scary Movie 3, 4 eps of The L Word, 1 ep of Family Guy, 1 ep of Dilbert) as Barbara, the script director.
Jeffrey Tambor (George Bluth Sr. in Arrested Development, Hank Kingsley in The Larry Sanders Show, Hangover movies, Hellboy, Superhero Movie, EuroTrip, Professor Cakes in China IL, 4 eps of Archer, 2 eps of 3-South) as Geek / Jeffrey / Dr. Geekman.
S. Epatha Merkerson (Black Snake Moan, Terminator 2) as Bonnie.
Fionnula Flanagan (7 eps of Lost, 1 ep of Nip/Tuck, 12 eps of How The West Was Won, 1 ep of Bonanza) as Bette Lustig.
Michael Lerner (Mirror Mirror, When Do We Eat??, Barton Fink) as Big Mikey.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0499570/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: 3 Geezers! (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: 3 Geezers! (2013)

Claire: 2.8/5 stars, 5.6/10.
Carolyn: 2.6/5 stars, 5.6/10.
Native ratings: 2.5/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

This seemed like it could have had potential, and it started out interesting enough being a mockumentary about old people….Old people are very overlooked in comedy, and show business in general, so it offered some less-common situations to form the foundation of various jokes. But, like most mockumentaries that seem to be improvised a lot, it seemed to lose its focus and got a bit scattered and all over the place… and a lot of the jokes fell flat on their face… which maybe could have been like, “Yeah, they’re old people and their jokes sometimes aren’t funny.”, but that’s a lame excuse.  It just seemed to be missing something…

Still a decent amount of laughs, though. The homage to the masturbation scene in Fast Times At Ridgmont High was pretty funny with a 70-year-old sex addict.

Directed by Michelle Schumacher (9 eps of Oz is pretty much the only thing she’s done, this is the only movie she’s directed).  Written by Randle Schumacher and Eric Radzan.

J.K. Simmons (Oz, Tenzin in Legend Of Korra; J. Jonah Jameson in the Spiderman movies, Hulk And The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H., Marvel’s Avengers Assemble, The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Ultimate Spider-Man, and 2 eps of The Simpsons; Juno; I Love You, Man; Jennifer’s Body; 4 eps of The Marvelous Misadventures Of Flapjack) as J Kimball.
Basil Hoffman (he’s been in 1 or 2 eps of a bunch of things including Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Too Close For Comfort, Night Court, CHiPs, Dynasty, Gimme A Break) as Victor, the main old man.
Breckin Meyer (Robot Chicken, Joseph Gribble in King Of The Hill, Titan Maximum, Road Trip, 54, uncredited in Can’t Hardly Wait) as Breckin.
Tim Allen as Tim.
Scott Caan (Ocean’s Eleven movies, Nowhere, Bongwater) as Scott.
Kevin Pollak (1 ep of Childrens Hospital, Wayne’s World 2, A Few Good Men, Willow) as Kevin (Christopher Walken impersonation).
Randy Couture (did stunts in 2 eps of Oz) as Randy.
Sam Raimi as Director.
Lou Beatty Jr. (Van Wilder, Fight Club, Fast & Furious) as Bernard.
Mike O’Malley (28 Days, Deep Impact, 3 eps of Baby Blues) as Mike.
Beverly Polcyn (Not Another Teen Movie, uncredited in Legally Blonde, 1 ep of Malcolm In The Middle) as Ruth, the slutty old lady.
Tony Cummings (8 eps of Another World, 8 eps of Santa Barbara) as Greg.
Pamela Dunlap (1 ep of Frasier, 1 ep of Mad About You) as Mary, the heavier old lady.
Ruth Williamson (6 eps of Nip/Tuck, Psycho Beach Party, the Scotsman’s wife in Samurai Jack, Legally Blonde 2) as Art Instructor.
Courtenay Taylor (Rubber, 14 eps of Regular Show, a bunch of video games) as Lisa, J.’s wife.

Homage to Fast Times At Ridgemont High:

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1825784/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Rapture-Palooza (2013)

Rapture-Palooza (2013)

Claire: 4.6/5 stars, 8.8/10.
Carolyn: 4.4/5 stars, 8.4/10. “Underrated. Funny. Original. Dark yet humorous.”
Native ratings: 2.8/5 stars Netflix, 5.1/10 IMDB.

I found this movie to be very original. It had dark, dark, messed up black humor, but also had a lot of standard humor as well.  Events in the movie were disturbing and funny at the same time. Things got cartoonishly ridiculous, which is always points-positive for a movie.

Anna Kendrick came off as being much younger here than in the Twilight movies. Her acting was interesting, as her character often had to say things her character didn’t believe, so there was a slight air of sarcasm to all of it.

The cast in general was interesting. People from many other things we’ve watched, such as The Office, Childrens Hospital, NTSF:SD:SUV::, Twilight.

Daryl from The Office as the Anti-Christ? That’s one of the more brilliant casting choices here, and the source of a lot of the movie’s humor.

This garnered a very low rating from the public — probably due to all the Christians who automatically downvote anything that makes humor out of religion, plus the fact that comedies always seem to score lower than non-comedies of equal value.  Humor never works for as many people as drama, so I’ve learned not to ignore comedies with low IMDB ratings…and was rewarded by not veto’ing this as a movie to watch. Very glad I did watch it afterall…

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1879032/combined

Directed by Paul Middleditch. Written by Chris Matheson (Bill & Ted‘s Excellent Adventure, 7 eps of Bill & Ted‘s Excellent Adventure, and not much else)

Starring Anna Kendrick (Jessica Stanley in the Twilight movies, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World) as Lindsey. Her face slightly reminds Carolyn of Clint’s sister, Britt.
John Francis Daley (Waiting, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, 115 eps of Bones) as Ben House.
Craig Robinson (Darryl from The Office, LaVar ‘Freight Train’ Brown in The Cleveland Show, Hot Tub Time Machine, Pineapple Express, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Fanboys, Zack And Miri Make A Porno, Shrek Forever After, Miss March, Knocked Up) as Anti-Christ aka Beast.
Rob Corddry (Blake Downs in Childrens Hospital, Hot Tub Time Machine, Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, What Happens In Vegas, Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, The Ten, Blades Of Glory, 1 ep of The Life And Times Of Tim) as Mr. House, Ben’s dad.
Rob Huebel (Owen Maestro in Childrens Hospital, Human Giant, Axe Cop, Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, I Love You Man, Little Fockers, Funny Or Die Presents, 3 eps of The Office, 3 eps of Bob’s Burgers, 1 ep of NTSF:SD:SUV, 1 ep of Michael & Michael Have Issues) as Morgan.
Ken Jeong (Mr. Chow in the Hangover movies, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, Step Brothers, 1 ep of Bob’s Burgers, 1 ep of Mary Shelley’s Frankenhole) as God.
Thomas Lennon (The State, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, What’s Your Number?, The Dark Knight Rises, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, Memento, 2 eps of Bob’s Burgers, 1 ep of Newsreaders) as Mr. Murphy, the neighbor.
Ana Gasteyer (Suburgatory, Robot & Frank, Mean Girls, 2 eps of 3rd Rock From The Sun, 2 eps of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of Just Shoot Me) as Mrs. Lewis, Lindsey’s mom
Tyler Labine (Dale in Tucker And Dale Vs Evil, Zack And Miri Make A Porno, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, Control Alt Delete, 2 eps of Dark Angel) as Shorter Wraith.
Calum Worthy (1 ep of Smallville) as Clark Lewis, Lindsey’s brother.
John Michael Higgins (Mentok The Mindtaker in Harvey Birdman, Evan Almighty, 5 eps of Arrested Development, Attorney At Law, 2 eps of Batman: The Brave And The Bold, 1 ep of The Legend Of Korra, 1 ep of Bob’s Burgers) as Mr. Lewis, Lindsey’s dad.
Paul Scheer (Trent in NTSF:SD:SUV, Hopper in TRON: Uprising, Human Giant, Piranha 3DD, Funny Or Die Presents, Year One, 4 eps of Fat Guy Stuck In Internet, 2 eps of Childrens Hospital, 1 ep of The Sarah Silverman Program, 1 ep of The Life And Times Of Tim, 1 ep of Starveillance) as Security Wraith.

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Colony (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Colony (2013)

Claire: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Evan: 3/5 stars, 6.5/10.
Native ratings: 5.2/10 IMDB. Not available on Netflix.

This was OK, but it could have been better. It started off really strong, and then had a tipping point where you realized it was Just Another Movie(tm).

The ending in particular seemed rushed.  It would have been a sensible ending from a trilogy, and indeed, a trilogy could redeem this… But who would watch it? This just wasn’t that strong.  Maybe if it was longer, they could have fleshed it out more…But as it was, it took forever to build up the scenario, and then it was a really quick gorefest at the end, and then a lack of a real resolution after that.

It leaves you wanting. In a bad way. The ending is 2/5 stars, 3/10. The first third or so of the movie is 4.4/5 stars, 8.6/10. It’s all over the place. It ends up just being Just Another Movie(tm).

Evan adds: I’ve since watched the other movie I was talking about (The Divide from 2011) and it’s much better. Still not great, but definitely better acting, far less stereotyping, and no explicit gore but much darker themes. I would rate 3.5/7.4 only because they completely forget about some things after they are used as a plot device.

Also while I was in movie mode, I watched another movie with a similar premise and a younger Saorise Ronan (from The Host) called City of Ember. This was my favorite of the three, possibly because it was not a horror like the others. This one I would go as high as 4/5, 8.5/10 for it’s good flow, nice characters (has Bill Murray even), fairly well done post-apocalyptic theme.

The others are def worth the watch if you get around to it.

Directed by Jeff Renfroe. Written by Jeff Renfroe, Svet Rouskov, Patrick Tarr, Pascal Trottier.

Starring Kevin Zegers (Frozen, Dawn Of The Dead, Wrong Turn, In The Mouth Of Madness, 1 ep of Smallville) as Sam.
Laurence Fishburne (Morpheus in The Matrix movies, Silver Surfer in Fantastic 4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer, Contagion, Mission Impossible 3, Mystic River, Apocalypse Now) as Briggs.
Bill Paxton (Titanic, Twister, Apollo 13, Stripes, 1 ep of Frasier) as Mason (the douchebag).
Charlotte Sullivan (2 eps of Puppets Who Kill, 1 ep of Smallville) as Kai.
Dru Viergever (Saw 8) as Feral Leader.
Atticus Dean Mitchell (26 eps of My Baby’s A Vampire) as Graydon.
John Tench (2 eps of Friday The 13th: The Series, 1 ep of X-Files) as Viktor.
Lisa Berry (Antiviral, Saw 5) as Nara.
Kimberly-Sue Murray (Mirror Mirror) as Janelle.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1160996/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: It’s Complicated (2009)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: It’s Complicated (2009)

Claire: 4.2/5 stars, 8.2/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 7.6/10.
Native ratings: 3.7/5 stars Netflix, 6.5/10 IMDB.

A romantic comedy, but in this case the emphasis is on the romance: It’s a Romance-Comedy not a Comedy-Romance.

And yet, for some reason I could stand it. It was done very well. Streep and Baldwin had excellent chemistry, which drove a lot of the movie. That alone was surprising (the Baldwin part, not the Streep part). But there was also chemistry between Streep and the “dork horse” suitor played by Steve Martin.

Claire was rooting for Alec Baldwin; Carolyn was rooting for Steve Martin. They kept you guessing until the very, very, very end as to how things resolve. Seriously… You think it’s resolved, and then it’s not… And then you do, and then it’s not. This actually kept things suspenseful.

This was a chick flick, but it was done extremely well compared to the average rom-com.

…And yet there was still comedy. A fair amount of marijuana comedy, and some additional comic relief from John Krasinski (Jim from The Office).  And it didn’t stop mid-movie like with most rom-coms and their goddamn fucking Turning Point(tm). It went pretty consistently. If anything, there was possibly more comedy in the 2nd half than in the 1st half.

So yeah. I don’t go out looking for rom-coms to watch, but I do prefer comedy to all other genres, so I do end up watching these a lot simply to have something funny to watch. And in this case, it exceeded my expectations by actually being pretty good.

Written & directed by Nancy Meyers (wrote Father Of The Bride, Baby Boom, directed What Women Want, wrote & directed The Parent Trap).

Starring Meryl Streep as Jane Adler.
Steve Martin as Adam Schaffer.
Alec Baldwin as Jake Adler.
John Krasinski (Jim from The Office, Smiley Face, Shrek 3, 1 ep of Arrested Development) as Harley.
Lake Bell (Cat from Childrens Hospital, 1 ep of Newsreaders, 1 ep of Robot Chicken, 1 ep of Tron: Uprising) as Agness Adler.
Hunter Parrish (Silas from Weeds, 17 Again, 1 ep of Batman: The Brave And The Bold) as Luke Adler.
Mary Kay Place (Smashed, Youth In Revolt, Being John Malkovich, Girl Interrupted, Shrek Forever After, 6 eps of My So-Called Life, 3 eps of King Of The Hill, 1 ep of The Life & Times Of Tim) as Joanne.
Rita Wilson (Sleepless In Seattle, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of Frasier) as Trisha.
Alexandra Wentworth (Office Space, 1 ep of Seinfeld) as Diane.
Nora Dunn (Pineapple Express, Bruce Almighty, Zoolander) as Sally.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1230414/combined