movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: Cobra has re-activated after many years, and G.I. Joe basically have 24 hours to stop a nefarious plot.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): G.I.s die.

PEOPLE: Charles Adler (The Red Guy from Cow & Chicken, Buster Bunny from Tiny Toons, Low Light in the original G.I. Joe, Silverbolt in Transformers) replaces Chris Latta (Starscream in Transformers, and Mr. Burns in 3 early Simpsons episodes) as Cobra Commander — just like he replaced Chris Latta (R.I.P.) as Starscream in Transformers! But for the most part, just a bunch of cartoon-industry people. Directed by an old storyboard artist from the recent Justice League series…

R.I.P. Chris Latta, original voice of Cobra Commander and Starscream

QUIRKS: Deaaaaath! Real death! No parachutes coming out of planes that just exploded. Hell, they killed over 10 million people in this! Way more realism with the death, but not with everything else.

Still — some badass fight scenes.

A martial arts move that reminds me of Kill Bill 2.

And some major destruction.

VISUALS: A Titmouse production! That is to say, same studio that brought us Metalocalypse, Beavis & Butt-head tripping in the desert in the B&B movie, Guitar Hero cinematics, and Avatar:The Last Airbender (soon to be a live-action film).

Way better animation than the original series.


That’s kind of the point.

POLITICS: Not enough, really. The Black Panther animated series had a lot more relavent politics.

BAD STUFF: It’s only an hour… It’s only a one-time thing… A lot of characters get killed off. Fortunately I didn’t remember any of them anyway. I was always a bit more into Transformers

The bad guys’ aim is no better now than in the 1980s. Two people can stand back to back in the middle of a room where everyone else is trying to shoot them to death, and THRIVE. Even when the enemy has machine guns and they have pistols.

The “Springfield” town was a little bit too contrived. This bothered Carolyn more than Clint. Clint thought “Springfield” was a neat way of saying “Anyville, USA”. Twenty years of The Simpsons kind of drives that home.

The plot was a bit thin at some points. Total deus ex machina at the end…

CONCLUSION: Despite its flaws, this way way better than the original cartoon. DEAAAAAAATH! REAL DEATH! Over 10 million killed!

Clint: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 7.8/10, Netflix: 3.9/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 4.4/5 stars, turned out to be a bit high).

Lord Cyclohexane says: “Warren Ellis is one of my favorite comic book writers, and he did a fantastic job when he wrote G. I. Joe: Resolute. I hope he gets more cartoon contracts, and I really look forward to the adaptation of his “Ocean” which I believe he himself is adapting.”

RECOMMENDATION: If you liked the original G.I. Joe cartoon AND the new G.I. Joe movie (Rise Of The Cobra), then it is a certainty that you’ll like this. However, a lot of people who liked the cheesy old cartoon then whined about the movie. Perhaps they weren’t ready for a live-action adaptation? Perhaps cartoons done in live action are too serious? Maybe some of those people who hated Rise Of The Cobra would still like this animated offering. It’s only an hour!

Quite a few people flat out say this is better than Rise Of The Cobra. I dunno. I like the glitz of some fancy live-action special effects. But I also love cartoons. In the end, I might like the live-action movie better simply because there is more of it.

MOVIE QUOTE: Cobra Commander: And this is how I win the world. This juncture, of course, is usually where the wheels come off. But not this time!

Music: Pink Floyd – Time