movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: A “treasure protector” history buff has to steal the [highlight for spoilers] Declaration Of Independence from the U.S. government — before the bad guys do.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Government property stolen, damaged.

PEOPLE: Starring Nicholas Cage (who we just saw in Kick-Ass), Diane Kruger (Bridget Von Hammersmark in Inglourious Basterds, Helen from Troy) (she did most of her own stunt work in the car chase scene!), and Justin Bartha (Doug Billings from The Hangover) as the good guys. Bad guys played by Sean Bean (Boromir from Lord Of The Rings, Zeus from Percy Jackson & The Olympians, Silent Hill, Odysseus from Troy, Equilibrium), David Dayan Fisher (3 eps of 24), Stewart Finlay-McLennan, Oleg Taktarov (Predators).

Also with Harvey Keitel, Jon Voight (Transformers, Four Christmases, Zoolander, Deliverance), and a bit part by Christopher Plummer (Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus, 9, General Chang from Star Trek 6, Van Helsing from Dracula 2000, 12 Monkeys, Wolf, Dreamscape).

QUIRKS: A history action-adventure movie. By Disney — so expect them to use a taser where other movies would show one getting shot to death. And expect some corniness. History. Riddles. Mystery. Chase scenes.

The initial cut was 4 hours long. Wow. I wonder what that was like…

Also: Watch carefully: Good guys use Google, bad guys use Yahoo. Funny!

VISUALS: Some neat sets. Treasure.

MORALS: Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reason. Or, more accurately: Sometimes what would be considered the wrong thing is really the right thing.

POLITICS: Freemason/Knights Of The Templar conspiracy!

GOOD STUFF: They made history interesting! I mean, it already is; but it’s very easy to forget that. History typically doesn’t drive an action-adventure movie, unless it’s The Mummy or Raiders Of The Lost Ark. And those movies are really more on the mythology side than the history side.

BAD STUFF: It had a few corny moments. It’s kind of to be expected, what with it being a friggin’ Disney movie and all. The very ending was kinda corny. There was an embarrassing emotional outburst or so. The very idea of a history-driven adventure is automatically a terrible idea as far as some people are concerned.

CONCLUSION: I’m always a bit hesitant with Disney movies, but this movie actually made history interesting. (Of course, history is already interesting, and a lot of the history in this movie is made up. That definitely helped.) If you don’t mind something family-friendly and occasionally corny, this was a decent action-adventure.

Clint: Netflix: 3.6/5 stars (a low 4 stars). IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10. That 7 sure was difficult for her to decide on :) “As interesting as The Da Vinci Code.”

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.9/10, Netflix: 3.8/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.3/5 stars). Netflix seemed to have thought that we wouldn’t like this as much as most people (i.e. the “Disney audience”?) In a sense, they were right, especially with Clint’s 3.6.

RECOMMENDATION: If you like history, and don’t mind family-friendly adventure, this is a decent popcorn flick.

SIMILAR MOVIES: The Da Vinci Code, The Mummy. And of course, National Treasure 2 and 3 (2011).


Ben Gates: If there’s something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action.

Ben Gates: A toast? Yeah. To high treason.

Ben Gates: Of all the ideas that became the United States, there’s a line here that’s at the heart of all the others. “But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and provide new Guards for their future security.”

Riley Poole: Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?

COINCIDENCES: (National Treasure 1, Flapjack #301B:Mayor May Not) 2 videos in a row involving the main characters taking control over important historical documents that founded their nation-state.

Mood: itchy
Music: Atari Teenage Riot – Video Games