If you’re reading this — you’re dead!

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] Rob Zombie made an adult-animation movie? And I can watch it in HD? Sweet!

CAROLYN’S ULTRA-SPOILY PLOT SUMMARY: I had to ask Carolyn what the hell happened during this movie the next day….Here was her explanation: [highlight for spoilers] Anyway, the movie was about Dr. Satan was trying to fulfill a prophecy of marrying a bride with the mark on her ass so he’d get all this power. Turns out, he was a geeky nerdy kid from El SuperBeasto’s school. El SuperBeasto was the bully, and his sister (Sheri Moon Zombie) was a cheerleader, and the geeky dr. satan had a huge crush on her. so I think he wanted revenge on El SuperBeasto, but it didn’t work out that way. El SuperBeasto kicked his ass at the end and gave him a wedgie. But Dr. Satan tried to give El SuperBeasto a wedgie but failed miserably.. hehe

PEOPLE: Directed by Rob Zombie.

With Rosario Dawson (Sin City, Clerks 2), Danny Trejo (The Chief from Fanboys, Grindhouse, Smiley Face), Sheri Moon Zombie (House Of 1000 Corpses 1-2, Grindhouse), Paul Giamatti (Larry in the new Three Stooges movie, Shoot ‘Em Up, Lady In The Water, Man On The Moon, Sideways, The Truman Show), Bill Moseley (Grindhouse, Army Of Darkness), Sid Haig (Jackie Brown, Night Of The Living Dead 3-D, The Devil’s Rejects), Dee Wallace (the mom in E.T., Cujo), Cassanda Peterson (Elvira!!!), Geoffrey Lewis (The Devil’s Rejects), John Di Maggio (Bender from Futurama), Brian Posehn (who kicks ass), Laraine Newman (SNL, lesbian Mo from The Goode Family), Harland Williams (Buckley from Slacker Cats, Roscoe P. Coltrane from The Dukes Of Hazzard:The Beginning), Clint Howard (Super Capers, The Waterboy, Barb Wire), Tom Kenny (PowerPuff Girls:The Mayor/The Narrator, Happy from Sit Down Shut Up, Babyface from Batman:The Brave And The Bold, Comic Book:The Movie, Superman:Doomsday, The Penguin from The Batman, Valhallen from The Justice Friends(Dexter’s Lab), Wally from Mission Hill), Charlie Adler (The Red Guy from Cow & Chicken), Jess Harnell (Comic Book:The Movie, Captain Hero from Drawn Together, Sewer Urchin from The Tick:TAS, Secret Squirrel from 2 Stupid Dogs, Ironhide from the new Transformers movies), Rob Paulsen (The Mask from The Mask:TAS), April Winchell (who emailed me once).

QUIRKS: Very chaotic. Mexican wrestling themed good vs. evil. Has some songs. You finally get a good dose of Dr. Satan, who was always mentioned in House Of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects. Literal music videos.

VISUALS: Animated. Animated nudity, even.

SOUNDTRACK: There are some songs. Some funny songs, like “Why’d You Have To Go And Rip Off Carrie?”

BAD STUFF: Viewer error. We were doing shots and wrestling a lot during this. Which is funny, because the movie was about a wrestler and had alcohol consumption as well. If I recall correctly. Which I may not.

CONCLUSION: I really liked this, but we were a bit drunk and didn’t take in all the details, and I actually had no clue what the plot was when it was over. I’ve marked on my calendar to watch this again during Halloween season 2010.

Clint: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10. “It had funny moments, but was pretty chaotic.”
The native public rating for this movie is Netflix: 3.2/5 stars (3.9/5 stars for people who rate like me), IMDB: 6.3/10.

RECOMMENDATION: If you like Rob Zombie, adult cartoons, and horror comedy — then this was made for you.

SIMILAR MOVIES: There’s not much that is similar to this. The Heavy Metal animated movie is at least similar in attitude: Animation with no children-imposed limits.

COINCIDENCES: (Rob Zombie:The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto, National Lampoon’s Going The Distance) 2 movies in the same night with talent shows where they ended up winning by doing a wet t-shirt AND a female unexpectedly receiving oral sex AND fake engagement rings. A TRIPLE COINCIDENCE!!!!

(Rob Zombie:The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto, The Venture Bros. S4E1) 2 videos within a week about Hitler and his German-accent-speaking patsy trying to protect his head/genes/DNA. [This coincidence authored by Carolyn.]

Mood: taco-tastic
Music: Dethklok – The Gears