VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Hangover 3 (2013)

Claire: 3.4/5 stars, 7.2/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 6.0/10 IMDB. (Doesn’t seem to be on Netflix as of the writing of this review.)

This one didn’t have the same formula, and it didn’t pack the same punch as the first two.  It was still pretty funny and enjoyable, but it paled in comparison.

I kind of want to blame some of this on the fans: When Hangover 2 came out, people complained that it was too much like the original. This annoyed me more than my fair share, as all too often people complain about EVERY sequel changing things for the worse. So here we are — the one time they didn’t change things — and Hangover 2 comes out and then people complain that it was too similar! What the fuck!

Well, America, you got what you fucking wanted. A Hangover movie that isn’t like the pre-existing ones. And it’s just not as fucking good. Happy, fuckers?

I may have accidentally rated this lower than it deserves because I’m so disappointed. After #2 being so consistent with #1, I was really hoping #3 would be so as well. Maybe if I could have had my expectations set better…

So anyway, this is still decent. They wrap up a lot of things; they bring back things from the past that the audience never knew existed. Too much of the franchise, however, has been reduced to “Oh look how clueless Zach Galafianakis is!” and “Oh look how much of a crazy asshole Kim Jeong is!” … Most of the other elements of the franchise have withered away.

Good, but a disappointment. Very bittersweet.

Coincidence: Some of this movie takes place at the Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. I just so happened to be drinking alcohol out of a Ceasar’s Palace cup as I watched the movie.

Directed by Todd Phillips (other Hangover movies, Due Date, Starsky & Hutch, Old School). Written by Todd Phillips & Craig Mazin (Superhero Movie, Identity Thief, Scary Movie 3-4).

Starring Bradley Cooper (Limitless, The A-Team, All About Steve, He’s Just Not That Into You, Wet Hot American Summer, Stella Shorts, Wedding Crashers, 6 eps of Nip/Tuck) as Phil.
Ed Helms (Andy from The Office, The Lorax, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, 5 eps of Childrens Hospital, 3 eps of NTSF:SD:SUV, 3 eps of Arrested Development, 1 ep of Ugly Americans) as Stu.
Zach Galifianakis (The Campaign, Tim And Eric‘s Billion Dollar Movie, Tairy Green from Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, Visioneers, Youth In Revolt, It’s Kind f A Funny Story, Dinner For Schmucks, What Happens In Vegas, Stella Shorts, Between Two Ferns, 2 eps of American Dad, 1 ep of Bob’s Burgers) as Alan.
Justin Bartha (National Treasure movies, uncredited in 54) as Doug.
Ken Jeong (Rapture-Palooza, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, Step Brothers, 1 ep of Bob’s Burgers, 1 ep of Mary Shelley’s Frankenhole) as Mr. Chow.
John Goodman as Marshall.
Melissa McCarthy (Identity Thief, This Is 40, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Charlie’s Angels, Go) as Cassie.
Jeffrey Tambor (George Bluth Sr. in Arrested Development, Hank Kingsley in The Larry Sanders Show, Hangover movies, Hellboy, Superhero Movie, EuroTrip, Professor Cakes in China IL, 4 eps of Archer, 2 eps of 3-South) as Sid.
Heather Graham (Twin Peaks, Drugstore Cowboy, Boogie Nights, From Hell, Swingers, Lost In Space, Scream 2, uncredited in Anger Management, 1 ep of Portlandia) as Jade.
Mike Epps (Next Friday, Friday After Next, Dr. Dolittle 2, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Resident Evil: Extinction, uncredited in Hancock, 1 ep of The Boondocks, 1 ep of The Sopranos) as Black Doug.
Sasha Barrese (Let Me In, American Pie, 1 ep of Robot Chicken) as Tracy.
Jamie Chung (Sucker Punch, Dragonball: Evolution) as Lauren.
Sondra Currie (she’s been around, but we haven’t seen her) as Linda.
Gillian Vigman (Date Night, Step Brothers, All About Steve, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, 14 eps of MADtv) as Stephanie.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1951261/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Bedazzled (2000)

Claire: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3.6/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.1/5 stars Netflix (1967 original got 3.2/5), 5.8/10 IMDB (1967 original got 6.8/10).

Remake Of Bedazzled (1967), which was originally written by Dudley Moore (Arthur?!?!) and Peter Cook. “Essentially Moore was one of those comedy actors who wrote stuff to launch himself”, adds Walter. “The [original] was kind of slow and dry compared to the newer one.”

Eve C had seen the original, and mentioned that she liked it. “Though it is slow-paced. Some really funny dry bits. Stanley was so-so, but I loved the Devil, and the interplay was good.”  When I asked her if the devil was female in the original, she replied: “No, [he was played by] Peter Cook, a tall Englishman. But Lust was played by a youngish Raquel Welch.”

Hmmm, Welch vs Hurley. A tough choice indeed (But I’d probably go with Hurley).

Anyway, this was a fun and entertaining movie.  Some nice eye candy with Elizabeth Hurley.  A lighthearted plot about the devil giving you 7 wishes. Essentially 6 miniature segments tied together. The movie is utterly predictable, but it’s still a fun romp, with a bit of heart to it — even if it’s utterly cheesy.

BTW, the schoolgirl outfit is actually Elizabeth Hurley’s personal property. Rowrrr!

Directed by Harold Ramis (director of Year One, Groundhog Day, Caddyshack, Analyze This & Analzye That, Multiplicity, 4 eps of The Office). Written by Harold Ramis (writer of Ghostbusters movies, Groundhog Day, Caddyshack, Animal House, Year One, Analyze This & Analyze That), Larry Gelbart (251 eps of M.A.S.H., ), & Peter Tolan (25 eps of The Larry Sanders Show, Analyze This & Analyze That).

Starring Brendan Fraser (The Mummy movies, Journey To The Center Of The Earth, 2 eps of King Of The Hill) as Elliot Richards / Jefe / Mary. Probably one of the most pathetic characters he’s ever played.
Elizabeth Hurley (Austin Powers movies) as The Devil. Smoking fucking hot the entire movie.
Frances O’Connor (A.I.) as Alison Gardner / Nicole Delarusso.

The trio of dudes who were in every scenario:
Orlando Jones (Father Of The Pride, MADtv, Office Space, The Time Machine (2002), Magnolia, 1 ep of Herman’s Head) as Daniel / Dan / Danny / Esteban / Beach Jock / Lamar Garrett / Dr. Ngegitigegitibaba.
Paul Adelstein (111 eps of Private Practice, 1 ep of Harvey Birdman, 1 ep of American Dad) as Bob / Roberto / Beach Jock / Bob Bob (Sportscaster #3).
Toby Huss (Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr. in King Of The Hill, Carnivale, 4 eps of The Venture Bros., 4 eps of Harvey Birdman, 2 eps of Beavis & Butt-head (2011), 1 ep of NTSF:SD:SUV, 1 ep of Childrens Hospital, 2 eps of Kung Fu Panda) as Jerry / Alejandro / Beach Jock / Jerry Turner (Sportscaster #2) / Lance.

Other people:
Brian Doyle-Murray (Captain K’nuckles in The Marvelous Misadventures Of Flapjack, Groundhog Day, Cabin Boy, Wayne’s World, The Three Stooges, Scrooged, Caddyshack, The Goode Family, 17 Again, 7 eps of Motorcity, 3 eps of King Of The Hill, 3 eps of Seinfeld, 1 ep of Tom Goes To The Mayor, 1 ep of Adventure Time, 1 ep of Childrens Hospital) as Priest.
Miriam Shor (Hedwig And The Angry Inch) as Carol / Penthouse Hostess.
Gabriel Casseus (Black Hawk Down, 4 eps of 24) as Elliot’s Cellmate / Angel.
Jeff Doucette (God, The Devil And Bob, 3 eps of 3rd Rock From The Sun, 2 eps of The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy, 1 ep of Weeds, 1 ep of Malcolm In The Middle, 1 ep of Carnivale) as Desk Sergeant.
Aaron Lustig (The Day After Tomorrow, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, 1 ep of Nip/Tuck) as Synedyne Supervisor.
Rudolf Martin (5 eps of 24) as Raoul.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0230030/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Evil Dead (2013) [Remake]

Claire: 3.4/5 stars, 7/10.
Carolyn: 3.1/5 stars, 6/10.
Native ratings: 3.3/5 stars Netflix, 6.5/10 IMDB.

Claire:  Pretty generic horror.   It was rushed. That’s both good and bad. True to the original in being kind of cheesy and not really that scary. Still had tree rape, but perhaps not as disturbingly as the original. It wasn’t that different, to me.

Carolyn:  The original was better.  This one just jumped right into it and barely had any story.  That made it pretty generic, like Claire said.

Directed by Fede Alvarez.  Written by: Fede Alvarez & Rodo Sayagues.

Starring Jane Levy (49 eps of Suburgatory) as Mia, the drug-addict.
Shiloh Fernandez (Deadgirl) as David, her brother.
Lou Taylor Pucci (Fanboys, The Informers) as Eric, the male friend.
Jessica Lucas (Cloverfield) as Olivia, the female friend.
Elizabeth Blackmore as Natalie, David’s girlfriend.
Jim McLarty (The Frighteners, 1 ep of 21 Jump Street, 4 eps of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, 1 ep of Xena: Warrior Princess) as Harold.
Stephen Butterworth (20 eps of Mirror, Mirror; 3 eps of Xena: Warrior Princess, 1 ep of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys) as Toothless Redneck.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1288558/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Immortal (Ad Vitam) (2004)

Claire: 2.4/5 stars, 5.4/10.
Carolyn: 2.6/5 stars, 5.6/10.
Evan: 2.7/5 stars, 5.5/10.
Native ratings: 3.0/5 stars Netflix, 5.9/10 IMDB.

I GOT A NEW TV! And this was the first thing watched on it– A weird animation/live-action mix sci-fi flick taking place in 2095 and dealing with gods, aliens, possession, being raped by a person possessed by a god….. All based on a trilogy of French comic books.

Carolyn: This didn’t live up to our expectations. It was nice to see as the first 3-D movie on our new TV, but it was hard to follow the story. It had a lot going on: Egyptian gods, aliens, genetically altered humans and mutants, escaped prisoners who are being tracked down… It was a lot to keep track of, especially while visually enjoying the 3-D. There was potential, but it didn’t quite get there.

Claire: I didn’t like the movie that much. Visually, it was very awesome, but I still didn’t really like it — Which made it a good choice for my first non-anaglyph 3-D home movie viewing. When you get a new tech setup, you don’t want to dive right in and watch/do your favorite/most-important thing first, because you still want to do system tuning. I’m very glad that the first 3-D movie I watched was NOT one that I enjoyed, because it turns out my TV wasn’t 100% setup correctly (had to turn sharpness down) anyway. I’d much rather have a setup error affect a 2-star movie than a 5-star movie :)

But yea. It was confusing. I wasn’t really sure what the fuck was going on a lot of the time. I didn’t really understand how the side-plots really fit together with the main plot. It was great eye candy, and I sort of digested it that way. The eyes of some of the CGI characters were so 3-dimensionally sunken into their head that it was creepy as fuck! Definitely interesting, and I’m glad I finally watched it, but yeah… Missed potential is the name of the game here.

Evan: I’d agree that it had potential, but their effects needed a lot more polish before I would really consider it any good. If they had made the whole movie animation [instead of a mix of animation and live-action], it might have gotten a better score.

Directed by Enki Bilal. Written by Enki Bilal (comic books “La Foire Aux Immortels” and “La Femme Pie`ge”), Serge Lehman.

Starring Linda Hardy as Jill Bioskop.
Thomas Kretschmann (Hostel 3, 2 eps of 24) as Alcide Nikopol.
Charlotte Rampling (12 eps of Dexter) as Dr. Elma Turner.
Yann Collette as Froebe.
Fre’de’ric Pierrot as John.
Thomas M. Pollard as Horus.
Joe Sheridan as Allgood.
Corinne Jaber as Lily Liang.
Olivier Achard as Checker.
Jerry Di Giacomo as Jack Turner.
Paul Bandey as Dayaks (voice).
Coralie Seyrig as Bastet (voice).
Goran Vejvoda as Anubis (voice).
Barbara Scaff (Heavy Rain) as Jill (voice).
Dominic Gould as John (voice).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0314063/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Slipstream (2007)

Claire: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Carolyn: 3.4/5 stars, 7.2/10.
Native ratings: 5.0/10 IMDB. NOT available on Netflix. Do not be fooled. They have a movie called Slipstream, but it is not this movie. It is a 1989 movie. This is a 2007 movie. I know nothing about the 1989 one.

Claire: Seriously though… What the fuck just happened?

This only made it to a 3/7 from me because of how psychdelic and trippy it was. The cerebreal movie-within-a-movie thing helped make things very interesting, but it also helped make things very confusing, very lacking of real resolution, and very inconsistent in tone. The tone goes from arthouse to thriller to comedy to confusion… All in all, I don’t think the rewards of the various interesting gimmicks used was equal to the cost and damage done by using those very same gimmicks.

The main reason to see this is to see the only movie ever written or directed by Anthony Hopkins. Ththththththththt. I have a personal connection to the man, because my next-door neighbor was an extra in Silence Of The Lambs.

I like it less and less as my memory of it fades. And it also seems to be a forgettable movie, not because it wasn’t novel, but because there was so much to it. So now my own rating seems high to me.

Carolyn: Not a comedy. Very psychedelic, and barely making any sense. It was very confusing, and the beginning had a lot of quick frame flashes that were distracting, but also intriguing. Unfortunately, it just kind of limped through and barely made any sense. I thought it was intriguing, but I feel like it didn’t quite live up to its potential.

Written, directed, and starring Anthony Hopkins.

Also starring Stella Arroyave (Anthony Hopkins‘ wife) as Gina.
Christian Slater (Heathers, Zoolander, Young Guns 2, 6 eps of Robot Chicken) as Ray / Matt Dobbs / Patrolman #2.
John Turturro (Barton Fink in Barton Fink, Transformers movies, The Big Lebowski, Monkeybone, Mr. Deeds, Anger Management, O Brother Where Art Thou?) as Harvey Brickman.
Michael Clarke Duncan (Kilowog in The Green Lantern-TAS, Kung Fu Panda, Kingpin in Dare Devil, Kingpin in 2 eps of Spider-Man-TAS (2000s), The Scorpion King, 1 ep of Ultimate Spider-Man) as Mort / Phil Henderson / Patrolman.
Camryn Manheim (Scary Movie 3, 4 eps of The L Word, 1 ep of Family Guy, 1 ep of Dilbert) as Barbara, the script director.
Jeffrey Tambor (George Bluth Sr. in Arrested Development, Hank Kingsley in The Larry Sanders Show, Hangover movies, Hellboy, Superhero Movie, EuroTrip, Professor Cakes in China IL, 4 eps of Archer, 2 eps of 3-South) as Geek / Jeffrey / Dr. Geekman.
S. Epatha Merkerson (Black Snake Moan, Terminator 2) as Bonnie.
Fionnula Flanagan (7 eps of Lost, 1 ep of Nip/Tuck, 12 eps of How The West Was Won, 1 ep of Bonanza) as Bette Lustig.
Michael Lerner (Mirror Mirror, When Do We Eat??, Barton Fink) as Big Mikey.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0499570/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: 3 Geezers! (2013)

Claire: 2.8/5 stars, 5.6/10.
Carolyn: 2.6/5 stars, 5.6/10.
Native ratings: 2.5/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

This seemed like it could have had potential, and it started out interesting enough being a mockumentary about old people….Old people are very overlooked in comedy, and show business in general, so it offered some less-common situations to form the foundation of various jokes. But, like most mockumentaries that seem to be improvised a lot, it seemed to lose its focus and got a bit scattered and all over the place… and a lot of the jokes fell flat on their face… which maybe could have been like, “Yeah, they’re old people and their jokes sometimes aren’t funny.”, but that’s a lame excuse.  It just seemed to be missing something…

Still a decent amount of laughs, though. The homage to the masturbation scene in Fast Times At Ridgmont High was pretty funny with a 70-year-old sex addict.

Directed by Michelle Schumacher (9 eps of Oz is pretty much the only thing she’s done, this is the only movie she’s directed).  Written by Randle Schumacher and Eric Radzan.

J.K. Simmons (Oz, Tenzin in Legend Of Korra; J. Jonah Jameson in the Spiderman movies, Hulk And The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H., Marvel’s Avengers Assemble, The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Ultimate Spider-Man, and 2 eps of The Simpsons; Juno; I Love You, Man; Jennifer’s Body; 4 eps of The Marvelous Misadventures Of Flapjack) as J Kimball.
Basil Hoffman (he’s been in 1 or 2 eps of a bunch of things including Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Too Close For Comfort, Night Court, CHiPs, Dynasty, Gimme A Break) as Victor, the main old man.
Breckin Meyer (Robot Chicken, Joseph Gribble in King Of The Hill, Titan Maximum, Road Trip, 54, uncredited in Can’t Hardly Wait) as Breckin.
Tim Allen as Tim.
Scott Caan (Ocean’s Eleven movies, Nowhere, Bongwater) as Scott.
Kevin Pollak (1 ep of Childrens Hospital, Wayne’s World 2, A Few Good Men, Willow) as Kevin (Christopher Walken impersonation).
Randy Couture (did stunts in 2 eps of Oz) as Randy.
Sam Raimi as Director.
Lou Beatty Jr. (Van Wilder, Fight Club, Fast & Furious) as Bernard.
Mike O’Malley (28 Days, Deep Impact, 3 eps of Baby Blues) as Mike.
Beverly Polcyn (Not Another Teen Movie, uncredited in Legally Blonde, 1 ep of Malcolm In The Middle) as Ruth, the slutty old lady.
Tony Cummings (8 eps of Another World, 8 eps of Santa Barbara) as Greg.
Pamela Dunlap (1 ep of Frasier, 1 ep of Mad About You) as Mary, the heavier old lady.
Ruth Williamson (6 eps of Nip/Tuck, Psycho Beach Party, the Scotsman’s wife in Samurai Jack, Legally Blonde 2) as Art Instructor.
Courtenay Taylor (Rubber, 14 eps of Regular Show, a bunch of video games) as Lisa, J.’s wife.

Homage to Fast Times At Ridgemont High:

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1825784/combined

Rapture-Palooza (2013)

Claire: 4.6/5 stars, 8.8/10.
Carolyn: 4.4/5 stars, 8.4/10. “Underrated. Funny. Original. Dark yet humorous.”
Native ratings: 2.8/5 stars Netflix, 5.1/10 IMDB.

I found this movie to be very original. It had dark, dark, messed up black humor, but also had a lot of standard humor as well.  Events in the movie were disturbing and funny at the same time. Things got cartoonishly ridiculous, which is always points-positive for a movie.

Anna Kendrick came off as being much younger here than in the Twilight movies. Her acting was interesting, as her character often had to say things her character didn’t believe, so there was a slight air of sarcasm to all of it.

The cast in general was interesting. People from many other things we’ve watched, such as The Office, Childrens Hospital, NTSF:SD:SUV::, Twilight.

Daryl from The Office as the Anti-Christ? That’s one of the more brilliant casting choices here, and the source of a lot of the movie’s humor.

This garnered a very low rating from the public — probably due to all the Christians who automatically downvote anything that makes humor out of religion, plus the fact that comedies always seem to score lower than non-comedies of equal value.  Humor never works for as many people as drama, so I’ve learned not to ignore comedies with low IMDB ratings…and was rewarded by not veto’ing this as a movie to watch. Very glad I did watch it afterall…

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1879032/combined

Directed by Paul Middleditch. Written by Chris Matheson (Bill & Ted‘s Excellent Adventure, 7 eps of Bill & Ted‘s Excellent Adventure, and not much else)

Starring Anna Kendrick (Jessica Stanley in the Twilight movies, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World) as Lindsey. Her face slightly reminds Carolyn of Clint’s sister, Britt.
John Francis Daley (Waiting, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, 115 eps of Bones) as Ben House.
Craig Robinson (Darryl from The Office, LaVar ‘Freight Train’ Brown in The Cleveland Show, Hot Tub Time Machine, Pineapple Express, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Fanboys, Zack And Miri Make A Porno, Shrek Forever After, Miss March, Knocked Up) as Anti-Christ aka Beast.
Rob Corddry (Blake Downs in Childrens Hospital, Hot Tub Time Machine, Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, What Happens In Vegas, Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, The Ten, Blades Of Glory, 1 ep of The Life And Times Of Tim) as Mr. House, Ben’s dad.
Rob Huebel (Owen Maestro in Childrens Hospital, Human Giant, Axe Cop, Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, I Love You Man, Little Fockers, Funny Or Die Presents, 3 eps of The Office, 3 eps of Bob’s Burgers, 1 ep of NTSF:SD:SUV, 1 ep of Michael & Michael Have Issues) as Morgan.
Ken Jeong (Mr. Chow in the Hangover movies, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, Step Brothers, 1 ep of Bob’s Burgers, 1 ep of Mary Shelley’s Frankenhole) as God.
Thomas Lennon (The State, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, What’s Your Number?, The Dark Knight Rises, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, Memento, 2 eps of Bob’s Burgers, 1 ep of Newsreaders) as Mr. Murphy, the neighbor.
Ana Gasteyer (Suburgatory, Robot & Frank, Mean Girls, 2 eps of 3rd Rock From The Sun, 2 eps of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of Just Shoot Me) as Mrs. Lewis, Lindsey’s mom
Tyler Labine (Dale in Tucker And Dale Vs Evil, Zack And Miri Make A Porno, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, Control Alt Delete, 2 eps of Dark Angel) as Shorter Wraith.
Calum Worthy (1 ep of Smallville) as Clark Lewis, Lindsey’s brother.
John Michael Higgins (Mentok The Mindtaker in Harvey Birdman, Evan Almighty, 5 eps of Arrested Development, Attorney At Law, 2 eps of Batman: The Brave And The Bold, 1 ep of The Legend Of Korra, 1 ep of Bob’s Burgers) as Mr. Lewis, Lindsey’s dad.
Paul Scheer (Trent in NTSF:SD:SUV, Hopper in TRON: Uprising, Human Giant, Piranha 3DD, Funny Or Die Presents, Year One, 4 eps of Fat Guy Stuck In Internet, 2 eps of Childrens Hospital, 1 ep of The Sarah Silverman Program, 1 ep of The Life And Times Of Tim, 1 ep of Starveillance) as Security Wraith.

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Colony (2013)

Claire: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Evan: 3/5 stars, 6.5/10.
Native ratings: 5.2/10 IMDB. Not available on Netflix.

This was OK, but it could have been better. It started off really strong, and then had a tipping point where you realized it was Just Another Movie(tm).

The ending in particular seemed rushed.  It would have been a sensible ending from a trilogy, and indeed, a trilogy could redeem this… But who would watch it? This just wasn’t that strong.  Maybe if it was longer, they could have fleshed it out more…But as it was, it took forever to build up the scenario, and then it was a really quick gorefest at the end, and then a lack of a real resolution after that.

It leaves you wanting. In a bad way. The ending is 2/5 stars, 3/10. The first third or so of the movie is 4.4/5 stars, 8.6/10. It’s all over the place. It ends up just being Just Another Movie(tm).

Evan adds: I’ve since watched the other movie I was talking about (The Divide from 2011) and it’s much better. Still not great, but definitely better acting, far less stereotyping, and no explicit gore but much darker themes. I would rate 3.5/7.4 only because they completely forget about some things after they are used as a plot device.

Also while I was in movie mode, I watched another movie with a similar premise and a younger Saorise Ronan (from The Host) called City of Ember. This was my favorite of the three, possibly because it was not a horror like the others. This one I would go as high as 4/5, 8.5/10 for it’s good flow, nice characters (has Bill Murray even), fairly well done post-apocalyptic theme.

The others are def worth the watch if you get around to it.

Directed by Jeff Renfroe. Written by Jeff Renfroe, Svet Rouskov, Patrick Tarr, Pascal Trottier.

Starring Kevin Zegers (Frozen, Dawn Of The Dead, Wrong Turn, In The Mouth Of Madness, 1 ep of Smallville) as Sam.
Laurence Fishburne (Morpheus in The Matrix movies, Silver Surfer in Fantastic 4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer, Contagion, Mission Impossible 3, Mystic River, Apocalypse Now) as Briggs.
Bill Paxton (Titanic, Twister, Apollo 13, Stripes, 1 ep of Frasier) as Mason (the douchebag).
Charlotte Sullivan (2 eps of Puppets Who Kill, 1 ep of Smallville) as Kai.
Dru Viergever (Saw 8) as Feral Leader.
Atticus Dean Mitchell (26 eps of My Baby’s A Vampire) as Graydon.
John Tench (2 eps of Friday The 13th: The Series, 1 ep of X-Files) as Viktor.
Lisa Berry (Antiviral, Saw 5) as Nara.
Kimberly-Sue Murray (Mirror Mirror) as Janelle.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1160996/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: It’s Complicated (2009)

Claire: 4.2/5 stars, 8.2/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 7.6/10.
Native ratings: 3.7/5 stars Netflix, 6.5/10 IMDB.

A romantic comedy, but in this case the emphasis is on the romance: It’s a Romance-Comedy not a Comedy-Romance.

And yet, for some reason I could stand it. It was done very well. Streep and Baldwin had excellent chemistry, which drove a lot of the movie. That alone was surprising (the Baldwin part, not the Streep part). But there was also chemistry between Streep and the “dork horse” suitor played by Steve Martin.

Claire was rooting for Alec Baldwin; Carolyn was rooting for Steve Martin. They kept you guessing until the very, very, very end as to how things resolve. Seriously… You think it’s resolved, and then it’s not… And then you do, and then it’s not. This actually kept things suspenseful.

This was a chick flick, but it was done extremely well compared to the average rom-com.

…And yet there was still comedy. A fair amount of marijuana comedy, and some additional comic relief from John Krasinski (Jim from The Office).  And it didn’t stop mid-movie like with most rom-coms and their goddamn fucking Turning Point(tm). It went pretty consistently. If anything, there was possibly more comedy in the 2nd half than in the 1st half.

So yeah. I don’t go out looking for rom-coms to watch, but I do prefer comedy to all other genres, so I do end up watching these a lot simply to have something funny to watch. And in this case, it exceeded my expectations by actually being pretty good.

Written & directed by Nancy Meyers (wrote Father Of The Bride, Baby Boom, directed What Women Want, wrote & directed The Parent Trap).

Starring Meryl Streep as Jane Adler.
Steve Martin as Adam Schaffer.
Alec Baldwin as Jake Adler.
John Krasinski (Jim from The Office, Smiley Face, Shrek 3, 1 ep of Arrested Development) as Harley.
Lake Bell (Cat from Childrens Hospital, 1 ep of Newsreaders, 1 ep of Robot Chicken, 1 ep of Tron: Uprising) as Agness Adler.
Hunter Parrish (Silas from Weeds, 17 Again, 1 ep of Batman: The Brave And The Bold) as Luke Adler.
Mary Kay Place (Smashed, Youth In Revolt, Being John Malkovich, Girl Interrupted, Shrek Forever After, 6 eps of My So-Called Life, 3 eps of King Of The Hill, 1 ep of The Life & Times Of Tim) as Joanne.
Rita Wilson (Sleepless In Seattle, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of Frasier) as Trisha.
Alexandra Wentworth (Office Space, 1 ep of Seinfeld) as Diane.
Nora Dunn (Pineapple Express, Bruce Almighty, Zoolander) as Sally.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1230414/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Oblivion (2013)

Claire: 4.6/5 stars, 8.8/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Native rating: 7.1/10 IMDB. Don’t see this on Netflix for some reason.

This had a little bit of everything – mankind moving off planet because the planet is inhabitable, Matrixy aspects, “Go out into the radiation zone to find out the truth”, romance, science, plot twists, a long story with several arcs.

Everything comes together, and it was really well-done.  Well worth the 2 hours to fit it all in.

Granted, I did say “I bet there is a twist, and it is either W, X, Y, or Z”, and it was one of the ones I thought… And that is slight points against. But still… This was very, very, very interesting and entertaining.

Directed by Joseph Kosinski (Tron: Legacy, he wrote the Oblivion graphic novel orignal story).  Written by Karl Gajdusek and Michael Arndt (Toy Story 3, Brave).

Starring Tom Cruise as Jack. Morgan Freeman as Beech.
Olga Kurylenko (Seven Psychopaths) as Julia.
Andrea Riseborough as Victoria.
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as Sykes.
Melissa Leo (Patch, 21 Grams, 3 eps of The L Word) as Sally, Mission Control
Zoe Bell (Django Unchained, Gamer, Grindhouse) as Kara.
Jaylen Moore (The Host) as Radio Operator (uncredited).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1483013/combined

VIDEO: Just Go With It (2011)

Claire: 3.3/5 stars, 7.2/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.8/5 stars Netflix, 6.3/10 IMDB.

Claire’s thoughts: It was a pretty funny movie. Nothing super, but high quality for a generic rom-com. Not the peak work of anyone in it, but a good cast nonetheless.  It felt like it was written by NBC sitcom writers, who absolutely loved plots revolving around everyone lying an unrealistic amount. That was points against. But the difference between this and and NBC sitcom is that the joke goes on for about 5.5X as long. Things do start to get predictable and formulaic in act 3 — which is expected in a rom-com — but the movie is almost 2 hours, so the comedy survives as long as a typical comedy movie before it putters out into the inevitable romance-genre ending all rom-coms have.

Carolyn’s thoughts: Entertaining.  Not spectacular.  It was no Click, 50 First Dates, or Wedding Singer, but it was decent.

Directed by Dennis Dugan (You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, Saving Silverman, Big Daddy, Happy Gilmore, also an actor in a shitton of shows & movies).  Written by Allan Loeb (Rock Of Ages) and Timothy Dowling (Role Models, George Lucas In Love).

Starring Adam Sandler as Danny Maccabee, Jennifer Aniston as Katherine Murphy, Nicole Kidman as Devlin Adams, and Kevin Nealon as Adon.
Nick Swardson (Grandma’s Boy, You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, The House Bunny, Blades Of Glory, Click) as Eddie, Danny’s cousin.
Brooklyn Decker as Palmer, the young love interest.
Bailee Madison (1 ep of Holliston) as Maggie / Kiki Dee, Katherine’s daughter.
Griffin Gluck (Sideways, 1 ep of The Office) as Michael / Bart, Katherine’s son.
Dave Matthews (You Don’t Mess With The Zohan) as Ian Maxtone Jones, Devlin’s husband.
Allen Covert (Grandma’s Boy, 50 First Dates, Deuce Bigalow:Male Gigolo, The Wedding Singer, The Waterboy, Airheads) as Soul Patch.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1564367/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Junior (1994)

Claire: 2.8/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars Netflix, 4.4/10 IMDB.

Skylar from Breaking Bad? Larry from the Newhart Show? Tony Soprano’s sister from The Sopranos? Chris from Oz?

We decided to get this after watching Kindergarten Cop.  This was about on par with Kindergarten Cop, but not quite as good (kids are slightly less annoying than babies & pregnancy).  Lighthearted fun.

Claire: “Wasn’t there a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito were twins?”  Carolyn: “Yes, it’s called Twins.”

Directed by Ivan Reitman (also directed Ghostbusters 1-2, Kindergarten Cop, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Stripes)
Written by Kevin Wade (Maid In Manhattan) and Chris Conrad.

Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Dr. Alex Hesse.
Danny DeVito as Dr. Larry Arbogast.
Emma Thompson (Brave, Sybil Trelawney in the Harry Potter movies, Agent O in Men In Black 3, I Am Legend, Dead Again) as Dr. Diana Reddin.
Frank Langella (Frank in Robot & Frank) as Noah Banes.
Pamela Reed (Kindergarten Cop, 3 eps of The Simpsons) as Angela.
Aida Turturro (Janice Soprano in The Sopranos, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm) as Louise.
Christopher Meloni (Chris Keller in Oz, Green Lantern in Green Lantern: First Flight, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, Wet Hot American Summer, Twelve Monkeys, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, 1 ep of Michael & Michael Have Issues) as Mr. Lanzarotta.
Anna Gunn (Skyler White in Breaking Bad) as Casitas Madres receptionist.
James Eckhouse (The Avengers, 1 ep of Nip/Tuck, 1 ep of Batman Beyond) as Ned Sneller.
Tracey Walter (Erin Brockovich, Man On The Moon, Young Guns 2, 2 eps of Justice League) as Janitor with Information (uncredited). Not Larry from The Newhart Show.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110216/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: CARTOONS: REVIEW: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (2013)

Claire: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 8.6/10. “I am a chick and I like cartoons, so I am allowed to love My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.” (Notice how she leaves me in the lurch there?)
Jesse: 3/5 stars, 7/10. “OK, I actually enjoyed that. It was actually constructed in such a way as to be philosophically relevant.”
Native ratings: 4.7/5 stars Netflix, 6.3/10 IMDB.

My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic decided to make a movie about Twilight Sparkle becoming human in a parallel pony world. This actually happened specifically because of bronies, yet they were the ones who backlashed the hardest. Bronies be like, “WTF is this shit!?”, and other bronies be like, “Calm down, maybe it won’t be that bad….” and “Trust the writers…” We were somewhat skeptical ourselves.

Then it comes out, and brace yourself…memes are coming! So many unending memes. We finally got to see it, so now the madness will make sense again. Plus we wanted to be caught up on everything prior to attending Bronycon 2013 (with 8407 other bronies).

Anyway, it was pretty entertaining. I didn’t like how the fighting scenes basically had no fighting in them, relying on deus ex machina tropes to resolve things. I didn’t like how super-convenient the plot was with these kinds of things. But I also accept that this was supposed to be a warm piece about friendship and magic, and that if I’d wanted long and gratuitous fight scenes, I should be watching one of the many animated superhero cartoons I regularly watch. It was a neat exploration of “what if non-human characters became human”, a trope that every non-human animated series should explore for at least one episode. Only this time, we got a whole movie out of it.

Carolyn: It turned out that it wasn’t so bad. It was actually pretty fun. I really enjoyed it.

Directed by Jayson Thiessen.

With the standard My Little Pony crew:

Written by Meghan McCarthy.
Starring Tara Strong (Bubbles from Powerpuff Girls, Toot in Drawn Together, Mary Jane Watson in Ultimate Spider-Man, Sym-Bionic Titan, Wolverine And The X-Men, 20 eps of Family Guy, 4 eps of Clerks-TAS, 4 eps of Gravity Falls) as Twilight Sparkle.
Ashleigh Ball (Allura in Voltron Force, Iron Man: Armored Adventures) as Applejack / Rainbow Dash.
Andrea Libman (1 ep of X-Men: Evolution, a bunch of My Little Pony and Care-Bear stuff) as Pinkie Pie / Fluttershy.
Tabitha St. Germain (12 eps of Aaagh! It’s the Mr. Hell Show!, Olive Oyl in Popeye‘s Voyage: The Quest For Pappy, 7 eps of Iron Man: Armored Adventures, 5 eps of Voltron Force, 8 eps of DragonBall Z, The Legend of Zelda-TAS, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!, ALF-TAS, 1 ep of X-Men: Evolution, other My Little Pony stuff) as Rarity / Princess Luna / Vice Principal Luna / Cup Cake.
Cathy Weseluck (Thor: Tales of Asgard, 2 eps of X-Men: Evolution, DragonBall Z, 1 ep of Aaagh! It’s the Mr. Hell Show!) as Spike.
Rebecca Shoichet (3 eps of Iron Man: Armored Adventures) as Sunset Shimmer / Twilight Sparkle – singing.
Lee Tockar (3 eps of Iron Man: Armored Adventures, 3 eps of Beast Wars, 2 eps of X-Men: Evolution, 1 ep of Wonder Showzen, 1 ep of 2 Stupid Dogs) as Snips.
Nicole Oliver (9 eps of X-Men: Evolution, 9 eps of Aaagh! It’s the Mr. Hell Show!, The Vision of Escaflowne) as Princess Celestia / Principal Celestia / Cheerilee.
Vincent Tong (Daniel in Voltron Force, Iron Man: Armored Adventures) as Flash Sentry.
Britt McKillip (other My Little Pony stuff) as Princess Cadance.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2908228/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Funeral Kings (2012)

Claire: 3.8/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6.6/10.
Jesse: 3.4/5 stars, 7/10 (I think).
Native ratings: 4.1/5 stars Netflix, 6.1/10 IMDB.

SLEEPER ALERT: This movie isn’t well-known at all, so I’d like to point out this might be the only time you see it mentioned.

“Two altar boys decide to play hooky.”

At first that tagline didn’t grab me, but then I had to consider: This is actually a comedy, and not a rom-com. I better watch it, because there aren’t enough good comedies.

I think this movie has some similarities in feel to Stand By Me, but with tons more profanity. Tons more. A lot of profanity. A lot of fucking profanity. These kids curse more than the fucking Sopranos.

…And that’s part of the charm. It’s so authentic that it almost feels unrealistic… But then I remember just how foul-mouthed some kids were when I was in school. It may actually be a bit over-the-top, but it works. You make the movie about those kids that are over-the-top. A movie about normal kids doing normal things would not be entertaining; it would be a documentary.

Anyway… This was good. Things did not go where I expect. The end hit me a bit abruptly, and it helped to have Carolyn the Movie Whisperer explain it to me a bit.

Speaking of Carolyn, her thoughts:

“This was OK. We expected more of a comedy, but we should have remembered that a review on IMDB compared it to Stand By Me. That is a good comparison. Kids being kids and learning how to grow into themselves. How to cope with other kids’ perceptions of you. How kids who are trying to be “cool” may find themselves in bad situations and over their head.”

Here’s a good review: http://www.larry411.com/post/review_pictures_red_carpet_funeral_kings_world_premiere_sxsw_film_festival

Written & directed by Kevin McManus & Matthew McManus.

Starring Dylan Hartigan (The Stepford Wives) as Andy Gilmour.
Alex Maizus as Charlie Waters.
Jordan Puzzo (uncredited in What’s Your Number?) as David Mason.
Kevin Corrigan (Seven Psychopaths, Pineapple Express, Superbad, The Dictator, Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie, Detroit Rock City) as Iggy Vannucci.
Michael Delaney (The Dictator, The Onion Movie, 1 ep of Human Giant, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 7 eps of Upright Citizan’s Brigade) as Brendan Hamilton.
Sarah Baldwin (1 ep of The Office) as Amanda Prescott.

Ian B’s review can be found here.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1951133/combined

P.S. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Trance (2013/I)

Claire: 4.4/5 stars, 8.4/10.
Carolyn: 4.4/5 stars, 8.4/10.
Jesse: Seemed to really like it.
Native ratings: 3.3/5 stars Netflix, 7.0/10 IMDB.

I wasn’t sure about this movie — stealing art? Hypnosis? Not my thing. But then it was pointed out to me by Jesse that this was a Danny Boyle movie. Trainspotting, 127 Hours, Sunshine, 28 Days Later, Slumdog Millionaire…. Completely different movies, and all done very very well (though I didn’t see Slumdog).  I should be watching other Danny Boyle movies! What is Alien Love Triangle? That sounds interesting…

Anyway, this was a good movie.  It kept you on your toes.   I really liked it… I can’t say I loved it, but that’s more because it wasn’t quite my type of movie than because of the movie itself.  But this was a good drama/mystery movie that, when watching, was really hard to guess what was going to happen next.

The hynopsis stuff got somewhat confusing, but that also kept it interesting…  Spoiler talk: Carolyn still doesn’t understand if Franck was hypnotized also…. When the burning car got pushed into the water, why did it flash to Franck waking up in his pool?  She didn’t understand if that was explained ever….  (I never even got to the point of asking that question, oops.)

Regardless… Lots of thrills and twists. Well done, writers.
Also, for the record… Rosario Dawson, full frontal nudity. Even before the full frontal nudity, I was thinking — she’s getting better and better looking as she ages. She is especially hot in this movie.

Starring James McAvoy (Charles Xavier in X-Men: First Class, Mr. Tumnus in The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, 1 ep of Band Of Brothers) as Simon, the protaganist.
Vincent Cassel (Black Swan, Oceans 12 & 13, Renegade aka Blueberry, Monsieur Hood in Shrek 1) as Franck, the antaganist.
Rosario Dawson (Sin City, Clerks 2, Kids, Men In Black 2, Death Proof, Grindhouse, Persephone in Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief, The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto) as Elizabeth, the hypnotist.
Wahab Sheikh (Red 2) as Riz.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1924429/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: CARTOONS: EVIEW: Iron Man: Rise Of Technovore (2013)

Claire: 3.6/5 stars, 7.4/10.
Carolyn: 3.4/5 stars, 7.4/10.
Jesse: ??
Native ratings: 3.0/5 stars Netflix, 5.2/10 IMDB.

An animated Iron Man movie is something to look forward to. Unfortunately, this was very anime-ish, which meant storytelling flaws — like most anime. Things seemed to happen a little too conveniently, with so much of a lack of an explanation for why a situation-solving event would happen that it may as well be a deus ex machina.

You’re probably better off watching the Avengers and Iron Man cartoon series than this… However, this has some blood and death, and is a full length movie, and is starring one of the Walking Dead cast members as The Punisher, who plays a fairly prominent role in this movie. These are some of the good aspects. The first act is the strongest, and the movie gets weaker through the deus ex machina-ish ending.

There is still value in this movie, though.

Directed by Hiroshi Hamazaki. Written by Kengo Kaji.

Starring Norman Reedus (Daryl from The Walking Dead, Boondock Saints movies, Pandorum, Mimic) as Frank Castle / The Punisher.
Matthew Mercer (Tygra in the new Thundercats, Resident Evil: Damnation, some video games such as Soul Calibur 5, Call of Duty, Mortal Kombat 9) as Tony Stark / Iron Man.
Eric Bauza (Lord Stingray in Superjail!, Stimpy in Ren & Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon, 4 eps of Adventure Time, 3 eps of Gravity Falls, 1 ep of Ultimate Spider-Man, 1 ep of Iron Man: Armored Adventures, 1 ep of Black Dynamite-TAS) as Ezekiel Stane / Technovore.
Kate Higgins (Scarlet Witch in Wolverine And The X-Men, Yukio in the Wolverine anime, 1 ep of The Legend Of Korra, Barbie in Barbie: Life In The Dreamhouse) as Pepper Potts.
John Eric Bentley (Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, 3 eps of Tron: Uprising) as Nick Fury.
James C. Mathis III (Black Panther in The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, 4 eps of Star Wars: The Clone Wars) as James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes / War Machine.
Kari Wahlgren (Gladys in The Life & Times Of Tim, Milan in Good Vibes, 14 eps of The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, 5 eps of Gravity Falls, 2 eps of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Tigress in Kung Fu Panda: Legends Of Awesomeness, 5 eps of Sym-Bionic Titan) as Maria Hill.
Clare Grant (5 eps of Mad, 4 eps of Robot Chicken, 3 eps of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 1 ep of Warren The Ape) as Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow.
Troy Baker (Hawkeye in Marvel’s Avengers Assemble, Yellowjacket in The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Loki and Hawkeye in Ultimate Spider-Man, 6 eps of the X-Men anime, and 1 ep of the Wolverine anime) as Clint Barton / Hawkeye / J.A.R.V.I.S..
JB Blanc (Barry Goodman in Breaking Bad, 8 eps of the Wolverine anime, 2 eps of the Iron Man anime, 3 eps of Black Panther, 5 eps of The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes) as Obadiah Stane.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2654124/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: The Big Hit (1998)

Claire: 4.2/5 stars, 8.1/10.
Carolyn: 3.6/5 stars, 7.0/10.
Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars Netflix, 5.9/10 IMDB.

A comedy-crime-romance, with the comedy coming first. It was Carolyn’s first time seeing this movie, but Claire had already seen it in the theater in 1998 when it came out.

The chick they kidnap is China Chow. She is 3/4 Chinese, 1/4 German. Check out her IMDB pictures. Beautiful.

Carolyn says: “It was entertaining. I enjoyed it. The vomit scene was disgusting, but also pretty funny.”

Almost all movie covers and posters at the video rental store are from Troma Entertainment. And that says a bit about this movie’s penchant for the ridiculous. What other movie has ever employed a TraceBuster-Buster-Buster?!

You know what would make people not want to watch this movie? The fact that the screenplay was written by the same writer as the Dragonball:Evolution writer.

But you know why people SHOULD watch this movie? Because it’s ridiculous, funny, and unique. I’m glad I watched this a 2nd time, a treatment the majority of the movies I watch do not receive.

“Is this the movie with the disturbing chicken-feeling scene?” Yes, yes it is.

“Is this the movie with the car chasing the guy… In the middle of the woods?” Yes, yes it is.

People are trying to say this is in the same vein as In Bruges, The Transporter, True Romance, Shoot ‘Em Up, Grosse Point Blank, Demolition Man, Last Action Hero, Face Off, or the A-Team movie. THEY’RE WRONG. This movie is better than 80% of the ones I just listed. And funnier than 100%.

It’s cheesy as hell. It’s “bad” by many measures. But I REALLY REALLY LIKE this movie!

Directed by Kirk Wong (we haven’t seen his other movies, and he mostly does international stuff).
written by Ben Ramsey (Dragonball: Evolution).

Starring Mark Wahlberg (Ted, Date Night, The Happening, I Heart Huckabees, Planet Of The Apes) as Melvin Smiley.
Lou Diamond Phillips (Young Guns, 2 eps of 24, 1 ep of American Dad) as Cisco.
Christina Applegate (Kelly from Married With Children, Veronica in the Anchorman movies, Mars Attacks!, Jesse, Samantha Who?) as Pam Shulman.
Avery Brooks (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 1 ep of Gargoyles) as Paris.
Bokeem Woodbine (The Host, Black Dynamite, Total Recall remake) as Crunch.
Antonio Sabato Jr. (The Three Stooges, 260 eps of The Bold And The Beautiful) as Vince.
China Chow (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, 1 ep of That 70’s Show) as Keiko Nishi.
Lainie Kazan (You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Harry & The Hendersons, Beaches, The Journey Of Natty Gann) as Jeanne Shulman, Pam’s mom.
Elliott Gould (Jack Geller in Friends, Ocean’s Eleven movies, Contagion, 1 ep of The Life & Times Of Tim) as Morton Shulman, Pam’s dad.
Sab Shimono (Uncle in Jackie Chan Adventures, Waterworld, The Shadow, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3, 6 eps of Avatar: The Last Airbender, 3 eps of Samurai Jack, 2 eps of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 1 ep of The Boondocks, 1 ep of Max Headroom) as Jiro Nishi.
Lela Rochon (13 eps of The Wayans Bros.) as Chantel.
Danny Smith (Senior Trip, The Three Stooges, 3 eps of Detentionaire) as Video Store Kid.
Joshua Peace (Interrogation Surveillance Tech in Red) as Lance.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120609/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Red (2010)

4/5 stars, 8/10 from both of us.

This was pretty good. It was more action than comedy, but the comedy was there. Not quite a 100%-serious movie. John Malkovich’s character was the comic relief. Imagine that.

That DC Comics had its name attached to the credits surprised us. We didn’t know this was a comic book movie. That really added to things. And helped explain the feel. Retired CIA operative being forced to go rogue. Respect for your elders. It works, and makes a fun movie. Nothing unique, but fun nonetheless. I’ll watch the sequels.

Directed by Robert Schwentke (The Time Traveler’s Wife).
written by Jon Hoeber (we haven’t seen his other movies) & Erich Hoeber (we haven’t seen his other movies).

Starring Bruce Willis as Frank Moses.
Morgan Freeman as Joe Matheson.
John Malkovich as Marvin Boggs. Originally it was gonna be John C. Reilly!!!
Mary-Louise Parker (Nancy Botwin from Weeds, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Fried Green Tomatoes) as Sarah Ross.
Also Julian McMahon (Christian Troy from Nip/Tuck, Dr. Doom in the Fantastic 4 movies) as vice president Robert Stanton.

Karl Urban (Judge Dredd from Dredd, Bones in the Star Trek reboots, Eomer in the Lord Of The Rings movies, Julius Caesar in Xena: Warrior Princess, 2 eps of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Ghost Ship, The Chronicles Of Riddick, The Bourne Supremacy) as William Cooper, the CIA operative ordered to bring in Frank Moses.
Ernest Borgnine (doorman in The Single Guy, Gattaca, BASEketball, Renegade aka Blueberry, Mermaid Man in Spongebob Squarepants) as Henry, The Records Keeper.
Chris Owens (The Incredible Hulk (2008), 13 eps of The X-Files, additional voices in Saw 6 and Saw 7) as Hanged Man.
Jaqueline Fleming (Harriet Tubman in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter) as Marna.
Jefferson Brown (Silent Hill: Revelation 3D) as Fred.
Audrey Wasilewski (3 eps of Sym-Bionic Titan, 3 eps of Family Guy, Rosie O’Donnell in Queer Duck: The Movie) as Businesswoman.
James Remar (Harry Morgan in Dexter, Django Unchained, Narrator in The FP. X-Men: First Class, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, Pineapple Express, Ratatouille, 4 eps of Justice League, The Girl Next Door) as Gabriel Singer.
Brian Cox (Captain O’Hagan in Super Troopers, The Campaign, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, X-Men 2: X2, Adaptation, Fantastic Mr. Fox, narrator in The Color Of Magic, The Bourne Identity movies, Troy) as Ivan Simonov.
Helen Mirren (Deep Thought in The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, Georgina Spica in The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover, National Treasure: Book Of Secrets, 1 ep of French & Saunders) as Victoria.
Richard Dreyfuss (4 eps of Weeds, Jaws, Close Encounters Of The Third Kind, James And The Giant Peach) as Alexander Dunning.
Rebecca Pidgeon (we haven’t seen her stuff) as Cynthia Wilkes, the CIA boss.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1245526/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: CARTOONS: REVIEW: Superman: Unbound (2013)

Claire: 4.4/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Carolyn: 4.6/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Native ratings: 3.7/5 stars Netflix, 6.4/10 IMDB.

This one was still good, but it didn’t seem as good as the last movies. This wasn’t Bruce Timm’s work.

But it’s still pretty damn good, because we love us some superhero cartoons! Especially ones not made for TV.

That being said… How many times do we have to watch Superman fight off Braniac? It seems to have happened like 5 times now. I’m getting a bit tired of it.

This was still pretty solid, though.

Directed by James Tucker (5 eps of Batman Beyond, 5 eps of Static Shock, 4 eps of Legion Of Super Heroes).
Written by Bob Goodman (Batman: The Dark Knight Returns 1&2, 51 eps of Batman Beyond, 51 eps of Superman, 2 eps of The Batman, 4 eps of Justice League, 8 eps of The Zeta Project)

Matt Bomer (In Time) as Superman / Clark Kent.
Stana Katic (3 eps of 24, 2 eps of Heroes) as Lois Lane.
John Noble (The Dragon Spirit in The Last Airbender movie, 100 eps of Fringe, 3 eps of Transformers Prime, 3 eps of 24) as Brainiac.
Molly C. Quinn (105 eps of Castle, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story) as Supergirl / Kara Zor-El.
Diedrich Bader (Batman in Batman: The Brave And The Bold, Guy Gardner in The Green Lantern-TAS, Kraven The Hunter in Ultimate Spider-Man, 2 eps of Gravity Falls, 3 eps of King Of The Hill) as Steve Lombard.
Jason Beghe (X-Men: First Class, Thelma & Louise, Maid To Order) as Terrorist Leader.
Frances Conroy (the mom from Six Feet Under, The Wicker Man remake) as Ma Kent.
Melissa Disney (Blade in Batman Beyond) as Thara.
Alexander Gould (Shane Botwin from Weeds, 1 ep of The Life & Times Of Tim) as Jimmy Olsen.
Sirena Irwin (Persephone in Striperella, 3 eps of Adventure Time, 80 eps of Spongebob Squarepants, 3 eps of Batman: The Brave And The Bold) as Alura.
Andrea Romano (voice actress casting director) as News Anchor #2 / Superman‘s Ship.
Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive in King Of The Hill, Office Space, NewsRadio, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, The Men Who Stare At Goats, Penguin in Batman: The Brave And The Bold, 4 eps of Gravity Falls, 2 eps of The Legend Of Korra, 1 ep of the new Thundercats) as Zor-El.
Wade Williams (Harvey Dent in Batman: The Dark Knight Returns – Part 1, Black Mask in Batman: Under The Red Hood, The Dark Knight Rises) as Perry White.
Michael-Leon Wooley (Twayne Boneraper in Ugly Americans, 2 eps of Batman: The Brave And The Bold, 1 ep of Delocated) as Ron Troupe.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2617456/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Vampires Anonymous (2003)

Claire: 2.8/5 stars, 5.8/10.
Carolyn: 2.6/5 stars, 5.6/10.
Native ratings: 2.8/5 stars Netflix, 5.1/10 IMDB.

A vampire joins a 12-step program to stop drinking human blood (and use animal blood instead). Good premise…though tainted by the Twilight stigma.

Anyway, this was pretty generic. The one thing it had going for it was that it was a comedy. However, it was only OK, and not that good.
It was somewhat funny, but not that much.
The romance angle of the romantic comedy grew to overtake the comedy, like with most romantic comedies. That’s bad.
But not quite as much as the average rom-com; That’s good.
It wasn’t even widescreen, it was fullscreen!
Lots of booms! The most booms I’ve ever seen in a movie. Also the furthest into the screen I’ve ever seen a boom go in any movie.
Some bad editing.
Bad filmstock.
Sometimes unbelievable plot — even for a movie about vampires.
Still…. It did have laughs. A vampire-loving comedy-completist might want to check this out.

Directed by Michael Keller (he directed some 4 “Expert Insight” things, whatever those are…), written by J.P. Srinivasan (the only thing he’s written) and Michael Keller.

Paul Popowich (1 ep of Dark Angel) as Vic Weller.
Michael Madsen (Mr. Blonde in Reservoir Dogs, Scary Movie 4, Kill Bill: Vol 1, Not Another Not Another Movie, 4 eps of 24, 1 ep of Bob’s Burgers) as Geno.
Nicole Forester (298 eps of Guiding Light, Jack Reacher (action movie like Parker that we haven’t seen)) as Maggie Miller, the love interest.
Judith Scott (1 ep of Frasier, 1 ep of 24) as Christine, the VA moderator.
Carolyn Lawrence (Orel in Moral Orel, Spongebob Squarepants, Resident Evil, 1 ep of Caroline In The City) as Penelope. She must have been the blonde chick from the VA group.
Michelle Stafford (1468 eps of The Young & Restless, and she plays *THAT SAME CHARACTER* from Young & Restless in the movie Parker [WTF]) as Taffeta Munro, the vampire slayer.
John Boyd West (21 Grams) as Jimmy.

So yes. There are 2 women in this movie who were in hundreds of episodes of soaps, and then one 2013 action movie each: Parker and Jack Reacher. What The Fuck.

Another, personal coincidence: The night we watched this movie, Carolyn was reading her book (Discworld#24: The Fifth Elephant) and there was a reformed Vampire who talked about how she was addicted to blood and how she only drank animal blood now. Hmm, from the imdb message boards: “I haven’t seen the film but it sounds exactly like the vampire in Terry Pratchett‘s Discworld novel ‘The Truth’.” Carolyn hasn’t read that one yet. Oh, that is #25, so that will be the next one she reads. Go figure. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0197996/board/flat/4225539

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0197996/combined