VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Clint: 5/5 stars, 8/10. Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 9/10.

Native rating: 4.5/5 stars, 6.0/10.

Produced in part by Tim Burton, directed by Timur Bekmambetov —  the same director as Night Watch and Day Watch — so he already has experience with awesomely-visual surreal worlds involving vampires. Very good choice. I’m glad this guy is doing English-language movies now.

This was an awesome concept. I pretty much instantly knew from the title alone that I would love this movie.

But then… Even despite all that… It completely blew away my expectations. Way more than I thought, and I already thought I’d love it.

I did not catch on that Abe’s wife was Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.

Anyway… Abe Lincoln was already pretty awesome, and this movie made him even cooler than before. Doesn’t matter if it’s fiction. This stoked simultaneous feelings that no other movie has ever stoked before. Great job!

This also wins the award for “best movie idea produced by manatees” (that’s a South Park Vs. Family Guy reference, in case you missed it).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1611224/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

Clint: 3/5 stars, Carolyn: 4/5 stars, both: 7/10.
Native rating: 7.2/10 IMDB, 3.5 stars on Netflix.
So for once, we’re in agreement with the general public.

We’re a sucker for time travel movies, and Aubrey Plaza is awesome in her own way as well… Did you know she’s “like that” in part, possibly, because she had a stroke right before her acting career started? Who knows?

Anyway, because we’re a sucker for time travel movies, this was an obvious choice once I saw a little blurb on it in Rolling Stone magazine.

It turned out to not really be a comedy so much as a romance movie with an interesting sci-fi-based perspective…. But lacking much real sci-fi.

So it was a bit disappointing in that it was kind of a bait and switch into a romance movie with SOME adventure and SOME comedy.

Still interesting, but a few complaints: The agents weren’t really explained/fleshed out as much or as realistically as they could be… And the ending could have maybe had some more exposition. Even the subplot (the paid reporter and his old blonde-turned-redhead squeeze) story didn’t really conclude well enough. . I don’t think that was the end of it — and that kind of annoys me too.

But it was still quite interesting and entertaining. And Aubrey Plaza is awesomely quirky, showing more of a range here than she’s typically been allowed in past roles.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1862079/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Men In Black 3 (2012)

We’re fans of the first 2 movies AND the animated series (which is friggin’ awesome), so of course we’d be watching this!

Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Clint: 4.4/5 stars, 8.4/10. Maybe I should give this 5 stars. It was pretty awesome. I love time travel.
Parthena: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Eli: 4/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: Netflix: 4/5 stars, IMDB 7.0/10.

Carolyn: I’m a sucker for Men In Black, and I enjoyed it immensely.

Parthena: I really really liked the movie, but one tiny thing I noticed- in the beginning, when Agent J went to the young guy in the store to get the time-travel device, the guy shouldn’t have acted surprised to see those weird jelly-fish things on the tvs in the background- he seemed surprised, and said something like, “Oh, yeah, I guess me sending Boris back did change things,”etc.  But if Boris had succeeded in changing the entire timeline, Dude in Store would have no idea that anything had ever been different than the way it currently was-hopefully that makes sense.  Not a huge deal but just a tiny timeline-continuity thing that I noticed. :)

Eli: I really enjoyed it.  Surprising for a third in the series.

Matthew: It was pretty good. The whole time travel thing was confusing to both Julie and I, but those types of situations in movies always seem to be a little hard to follow. Overall it was a good, fun experience. It didn’t really lag or drag on, it was pretty smooth flowing throughout. There were some holes in the plot, like what happened to those motorcycle type things they were riding and the Ford Galaxie that was on fire? How did the bad guy get from the moon to earth? Did he just swim through space? Whatever, it was still fun.

Julie: I liked the movie. I did like the fact that I didn’t have to have seen the first two to figure out what was happening. I really hate when movies in a series require you to have seen all the previous ones to follow the plot.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1409024/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Starship Troopers: Invasion (2012) (anim)

3/5 stars, 7/10 from the both of us.
Native rating: Netflix 3.2/5 stars, IMDB 5.8/10.

A nice coda to the movies & the Roughnecks animated series.

This really opens up possibilities for the story to progress much further than it ever has… But will we ever see anything out of the Starship Troopers franchise again?

After watching all 3 movies, the 40 episodes of the Roughnecks cgi series, and even the shitty anime version — how much more steam can Starship Troopers have?

Time for a reboot?

Hell no, I’d much rather then continue the story further, beyond the realm the books ever went to.

Actually… Instead of making this fucking movie, they should have concluded the final unfinished story arc of the Roughnecks series. In a way, this movie is like spitting in our faces, spitefully saying “we could have finished Rougnecks, but no, fuck you, we’ll make this instead”.

But it’s still better than nothing. And to many, better than Starship Troopers 2 & 3.

But not to us — we LIKED the sequels, especially Starship Troopers 3.

I would like to know more.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2085930/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: The Campaign (2012)

4/5 stars, 8/10 from both of us.
Native rating: 3.5/5 stars Netflix, 6.3/10 IMDB.

Yea, pretty frickin’ funny! Great cast.

The political commentary kind of held the comedy back a bit, but that’s an okay price to pay to add political awesomeness to comedic awesomeness.

After all, it is election season.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1790886/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Dark Shadows (2012)

Clint: 3.4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native rating: 3.5/5 stars, 6.5/10.

I try to catch every Tim Burton (/Johnny Depp/Helena Bonham Carter) movie, and am almost never disappointed.

This wasn’t as much of a comedy as we were expecting (since IMDB lists comedy before fantasy)…but it still had funny moments, and was an interesting story. It helped that we had no concept of the original series… And that it also had a good soundtrack. And Alice Cooper!

Great cast (Eva Green was fucking HOT!) (But then, so was pretty much every female), and the typically-great production values and direction one comes to expect from a Tim Burton film. I’m glad this got the taste of Alice In Wonderland (2010) out of my mouth, because that was the one Burton film that I really found wanting.

Looking forward to Burton’s next film, Frankenweenie, based on his short film from 1984!

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1077368/

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Supernatural Activity (2012)

Carolyn: 2.4/5 stars, 5/10.
Clint: 2.4/5 stars, 5/10 (mostly deferring to Carolyn’s rating here).
Native ratings: 2.4/5 stars Netflix, 2.9/10 IMDB.

Review by Carolyn: This was alright.  It started off slow, and didn’t really pick up that much.  However, it did get slightly more funny near the end, but not enough to redeem itself.  I enjoyed the characterizations, but the execution wasn’t that great.

We both thought of the movie Grave Encounters when they were talking about how the show is faked.  That movie was better than this one.

Speaking of the ending, it was confusing.  Clint tried to ask me to explain it to him.  The ending made about 57% sense to me, and my understanding wasn’t enough to be able to explain it to Clint.  Basically, there was some confusion about  different hairstyles (I’ll just leave it at that…).  I was like “It wasn’t that good, and it didn’t make that much sense.  How am I supposed to explain an ending to a movie that wasn’t that good?”

Clint’s thoughts: I had a rut of movies I didn’t remember very well after watching, and this was one of them. Just not that great. Mildly entertaining at best.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1832516/combined