VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Antiviral (2012)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Antiviral (2012)

Claire: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars Netflix, 5.5/10 IMDB.

This is a sci-fi thriller movie about society’s celebrity obsession. What if people were so obsessed with celebrities that we paid money to have their diseases? What if we could have Lindsay Lohan’s alleged herpes, or have the same flu that Lady Gaga had? Human obsession *absolutely* goes this far. With sufficient technology, and a society that would allow a situation like this to develop — the story in this movie is actually pretty goddamn plausible.

And that’s a commentary in and of itself.

This is the very first full-length film written & directed by David Cronenberg‘s son Brandon Cronenberg. So my first thought was: “Expect weird creepy meatiness.”  And yeah. There was definitely some of that.

Courtney Love’s “Celebrity Skin” album will now and forever remind me of this movie. And don’t get me started on the celebrity-endorsed food products, or the “celebrity meat”.

This movie isn’t very exciting. It’s not an action. It’s very cerebral, a “thinking man’s movie”, if you want to use a tired old phrase. The watching-buzz I got from this was not like that of a comedy, action, or drama. It was is more based on thinking of social and moral situations that the technology in this movie created, as well as thinking about how the sentiment required to make this movie possible in real life exists today. It’s a definite commentary with an interesting plot.

And the ending… wow…

Carolyn adds: (SPOILER ALERT): I feel like there should have been more repercussions regarding his job… I mean, the police were investigating the other guy who was doing similar things. The main guy was just able to be sick all of the time, and barely show up for work, and the boss is like, “OK, that other guy is arrested, so you’re the one who is going to get the blood from the celebrity.” Then the blood never gets to the company, the guy barely shows up for work and when he does, he looks like hell, and can barely function. His coworker mentioned that strings were pulled to keep the main guy from being fired, and that was it… it didn’t make any sense. that was only one aspect of the movie, but it bothered me… They never even showed the boss or made any mention of him after the main guy injected the blood and got really sick. Anyway, it was an interesting premise… I agree with you that it could have been executed better.

…

Starring Caleb Landry Jones (Banshee in X-Men: First Class, boy on bike in No Country For Old Men, fraternity guy in The Social Network, 2 eps of Breaking Bad) as Syd March.
Sarah Gadon (Beth rom Total Drama Island) as Hannah Geist.
Douglas Smith (he is going to be in Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters, but we haven’t seen anything else) as Edward Porris.
Joe Pingue (Repo Men, The Boondock Saints, 1 ep of Puppets Who Kill) as Arvid.
Nicholas Campbell (Hank in Naked Lunch, Goon) as Dorian.
Wendy Crewson (8 eps of 24) as Mira Tesser.
Malcolm McDowell (Alex in A Clockwork Orange, Vater Orlaag in Metalocalypse, 9 eps of Heroes.. and the killer of Kirk!) as Dr. Abendroth.
George Tchortov (Goon) as Portland.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2099556/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Once Bitten (1985) [vampires] [Jim Carrey]

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Once Bitten (1985) [vampires] [Jim Carrey]

Clio: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Native ratings: 3.0/5 stars Netflix, 5.1/10 IMDB.

It was a light-hearted 80’s movie, completely agreeing with an IMDB review we had read. It basically stated that this movie was not great, and wouldn’t make you laugh out loud much, but that it was still funny and amusing and worth watching ONCE.

Carolyn had heard of it, but didn’t think she had seen it until the library scene at the end.

Jim Carrey was good in this, but not great. There were definitely hints of Jim Carrey’s later, future greatness. He had a few moments of physical comedy that would later become components of his ongoing wacky shtick. It was interesting to see him pre-fame.

Also: Both famous ex-model Lauren Hutton, and lesser-known Karen Kopins were great women to watch in a movie. A Ginger and a Mary-Anne, if you will… Too bad Kopins stopped acting.

 

• Jeremy: I remember this movie. It was okay, but it was no Earth Girls Are Easy.

   
• Parthena: I think before I saw Vampire’s Kiss I had confused that movie with this one….and was, um, surprised when I realized how dark Vampire’s Kiss was. 

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089730/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Movie 43 (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Movie 43 (2013)

Clio: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Jesse: “That was awesome.”
iDRMRSR: “Oh this was a GREAT flick. I had to shampoo my reclinar after I watched it I crapped my slacks so many times laughing.”
Native ratings: 3.0/5 stars Netflix, only 4.4/10 IMDB.

This movie took me places I’ve never been before. It gets really low ratings becuase it is too ridiculous, disgusting, and low-brow. But if you like the Family Guy/South Park style of humor, IGNORE THE LOW RATINGS and go for this.

It is a series of about 13 interconnected segments. The framing-device part that encapsulates all of the sketches is probably the worst part. The individual segments range from funny to oh-god-make-it-stop awkward to disgusting to ridiculous.

For example, Hugh Jackman goes on a blind date with Kate Winslet, and he has testicles that hang off his neck. The whole segment is about Winslet’s disbelief at Jackman’s neckticles.

There’s also a super hero speed dating segment.

Great movie that totally exceeded all of our expectations.

BTW, another reason to watch this movie? Ensemble cast. Anna Faris (why do you think we watched this?), Emma Stone, Hugh Jackman, Johnny Knoxville, Kate Winslet, Naomi Watts, Kate Bosworth, Elizabeth Banks, Uma Thurman, Leslie Bibb, Kristen Bell, Seth MacFarlane, Patrick Warburton, Liev Schreiber, Gerard Butler, Seann William Scott, Dennis Quaid, J.B. Smoove, Justin Long, Greg Kinnear, Charlie Saxton, Chris Pratt, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe Grace Moretz, Stephen Merchant… and even Snooki.

Even the directors of the segments include Bob Odenkirk (who wrote his segment) and Elizabeth Banks.

This movie is all over the place, and that’s awesome.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1333125/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Warm Bodies (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Warm Bodies (2013)

Clio: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Jess: 3.4/5 stars, 5.9/10.
Native ratings: 4.0/5 stars Netflix, /10 IMDB.

*Another* zombie romance movie? Awesome! But unlike Boy Eats Girl, this one is post-apocalyptic, in a world populated almost exclusively with zombies. Like I Am Legend.

And yet, this movie is completely and wholely about the power of love.

Very good movie. It didn’t get too sappy with the romance part, and the zombies were awesome. There is a surprising amount of comedy. Surprising. And this had a slightly different take on zombie-ism. For instance, with great effort, a zombie can utter word or two. And there were two kinds of zombies: The normal zombies, and the ones that had given up so much hope that they’d peeled their skin off and were basically walking skeletons. These ones were feared even by the normal zombies.

I’d describe the movie math behind this as (I Am Legend * ((Twilight + Romeo & Juliet) / 2)) – teen emo bullshit + Boy Eats Girl… I caught on to the Romeo & Juliette similarties during the balcony scene.

But the fact that I just said Twilight might scare people. However, Teresa Palmer, to me, looks exactly like a blonde Kristin Stewart. And being loved by something that has a natural instinct to devour you is the basic premise of both Twilight and this movie.

But the fact that I just said Twilight might scare people. However, Teresa Palmer, to me, looks exactly like a blonde Kristin Stewart. And being loved by something that has a natural instinct to devour you is the basic premise of both Twilight and this movie.

In the end, you are left with a great message of hope, the power of love, and human triumph over darkness. Can love change the way the entire planet functions? Yes. Yes it can. And I’m not just talking about the movie.

Beware: This is a work of fiction, and makes no attempt to be fully logical. For example, electricity is still working even though society has collapsed. If you’re unable to look past something like that (but somehow able to look past the fact that zombies don’t actually exist), you might want to resolve that mental incongruity prior to watching.

Directed and written by Jonathan Levine. This is his best movie, though The Wackness was also good and profound.
Based on a novel by Isaac Marion.

Nicholas Hoult (Beast in X-Men: First Class, Clash Of The Titans remake) as R the Zombie.
Teresa Palmer (Take Me Home Tonight, The Grudge 2) as the human girl, Julie.
John Malkovichas Julie’s father, Grigio.
Analeigh Tipton (Crazy Stupid Love, The Green Hornet) as Julie’s horney friend, Nora.
Rob Corddry (Hot Tub Time Machine, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, the clown doctor in Childrens Hospital, Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, The Ten) as M.
James Franco’s brother Dave (Superbad, the new 21 Jumpstreet, The Riddler in 2 eps of Young Justice) plays Perry, the original boyfriend.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1588173/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: I Give It a Year (2013)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: I Give It a Year (2013)

I Give It A Year (2013) – Clio: 3/5 stars, 6.4/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6.4/10.
Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars Netflix, 6.0/10 IMDB.

This was most likely selected to be watched because 1) Anna Faris, 2) sounded tolerable. Pleased to say it delivered on both fronts, and even exceeded the average rom-com. This is a *BRITISH* rom-com, so there’s a bit more nuance and class to things (even though 2 of the 4 main characters are USAians).

The beginning half was much funnier than the ending half — like most formulaic rom-coms. INCREDIBLY AWKWARD SCENES. Lots of awkwardness. So awkward.

Things get interesting when we start to realize that instead of the normal a love triangle (or love line segment), this movie gives us a love quadrangle.

Things get even more interesting when you realize that this movie actually has a yin-yang zen balance to it that other rom-coms want — This is as much about ending a bad relationship as it is about starting a good relationship.

The ending was pretty damn unique and awesome for a romantic comedy, and the movie is possibly solely worth watching just for The Climactic Scene That Is The Opposite Of What You’d Think It Would Be, and The Twice As Improbable As Usual Ending Scene.

I’d recommend it if you want to see a “rom-com done right” (not my words).

Directed and written by Dan Mazer (writer of Bruno, 4 eps of Da Ali G Show, Director of 6 eps of Da Ali G Show)

Starring Rafe Spall (Prometheus, Shaun Of The Dead, Grindhouse, Hot Fuzz, Life Of Pi) as the husband Josh.
Rose Byrne (Moira MacTaggert in X-Men: First Class, Get Him To The Greek, 28 Weeks Later, Sunshine, 1 ep of Portlandia) as Josh’s wife, Nat.
Anna Faris as Chloe, the ex-girlfriend.
Simon Baker (Sex And Death 101, L.A. Confidential) as That Corporate Guy Who Would Be Hugh Grant If This Was Another Movie.
Stephen Merchant (Ricky Gervais‘s sidekick) as the Glen Colen the creepy friend.
Minnie Driver (Brooke Shields in the South Park movie, Carlotta in The Phantom Of The Opera) as the friend who hates her husband, Naomi. Damn she’s still got it going on.
Jason Flemyng (Azazel in X-Men: First Class, Hanna, Clash Of The Titans remake, Kick-Ass, Mirrors, Transporter 2, Snatch, Clueless) as Hugh, the husband.
Nigel Planer (Neil from the Young Ones, The Colour Of Magic, Hogfather, Brazil) as someone’s dad.
Jane Asher (she’s been around since the 50’s.) as Diana, main wife’s mom.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2244901/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: National Lampoon presents Dorm Daze 3: Transylmania (2009)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: National Lampoon presents Dorm Daze 3: Transylmania (2009)

Clio: 3.4/5 stars (compared to 3.4 for DD1, 3 for DD2), 7.4/10 (compared to 8 for DD1, 6.2 for DD2).
Carolyn: 4/5 stars (same as other 2), 7.7/10 (compared to 8 for DD1, 7.6 for DD2).
Native ratings: 2.6/5 stars Netflix (compared to 3.7 for DD1, 2.7 for DD2), 3.7/10 IMDB (compared to 4.4 for DD1, 3.7 for DD2).

So it seems that Carolyn & I liked this better than the first movie in the “trilogy”. It’s funny that this is a trilogy, because the movies have little to do with each other. They called the 2nd one Dorm Daze 2 even though it took place on a cruise ship. At least for this one they dropped the “Dorm Daze” from the title, but how would people who liked the first 2 movies know about and find this? The only real way is Movie Connections on IMDB, under the “Followed By” section. Weird.

Dorm Daze 1 was about misunderstandings and plots.  Dorm Daze 2 was about capers and a theft.  Dorm Daze 3 was about vampires.

It had some of the same characters from the other Dorm Daze movies, but this is no longer called Dorm Daze.  It had a recap of the characters and the setup for why they were going to Romania.  And vampires!  Don’t forget vampires.

Directed by: David Hillenbrand (Dorm Daze 1-2, mostly a music developer, we haven’t seen the other 7 things he directed), Scott Hillenbrand (Dorm Daze 1-2, we haven’t seen the other 7 things he’s directed)
Written by: Worm Miller (Dorm Daze 1-2, we haven’t seen the other things he’s written), Patrick Casey (Dorm Daze 1-2, we haven’t seen the other things he’s written)

They had some of the same characters as Dorm Daze 1 and 2:
Oren Skoog (we haven’t seen his work) as Rusty / king vampire Radu.
Jennifer Lyons (3 eps of That 70’s Show, Can’t Hardly Wait, 2 eps of Night Stand) as Lynne.
Tony Denman (Fargo, 2 eps of King Of The Hill) as Newmar.
Patrick Cavanaugh (1 ep of Thundercats (2011), 1 ep of Batman: The Brave And The Bold, 1 ep of Six Feet Under, 1 ep of Frasier) as Pete.
Paul Hansen Kim (1 ep of Andy Richter Controls The Universe, 1 ep of 3rd Rock From The Sun) as Wang.
James DeBello (Cabin Fever, Scary Movie 2, Trip in Detroit Rock City, enthusiastic guy in American Pie) as Cliff Richards.
Patrick Casey as Mike
Worm Miller as Brady.

Some characters were missing with no explanation, but since this is college, one can assume that people drift apart year-to-year. Most notably, Lynne’s counterpart Marla (the “other hot chick” of the 2-hot-chick group in Dorm Daze 1, who became fat in Dorm Daze 2), was absent. Foosball was also not around.

And some new characters:
David Steinberg (Epic Movie, Willow) as Dean Floca. Unfortunately, this was his last movie, as he committed suicide in 2010.
Natalie Garza (1 ep of Dexter, haven’t seen anything else) as twin sister, Lia.
Nicole Garza (1 ep of Dexter, haven’t seen anything else) as twin sister, Danni.
Musetta Vander (The Cell, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Wild Wild West, 1 ep of Frasier, 1 ep of Xena) as Teodora Van Sloan, the vampire hunter. Incredibly sexy. She’s like a slightly younger Catherine Zeta-Jones!
Irena A. Hoffman (Four Christmases) as Draguta Floca, the dean’s daughter.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0936471/combined

 

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Detroit Rock City (1999)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Detroit Rock City (1999)

Clio: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9/10.
Native ratings: 3.9/5 stars Netflix (Netflix is down right now, sorry), 6.6/10 IMDB.

Oh my “Bob” did this movie hold up to a second viewing!!

Carolyn actually had no recollection of it, even though she knew she’s seen it.
Clio had only the vaguest recollection — maybe 5 seconds of total information.

This is pretty much exactly what I want from a comedy movie! It’s just full of awesomeness. The soundtrack, the cast (nexus movie alert! lots of people), the plot, the fact that it deals with “heavy” music, the nostalgic 1970s setting, the crazy capers that happen to them, the girls, the splitting stories that re-converge. This is a fun “night on the town” caper movie! A classic! A must-see!

Suburban high school rockers are on a quest to make sure they get to the Kiss concert in Detroit. I don’t like Kiss, but I respect them for selling out and milking it as much as possible, and would do the exact same thing if I were in their position.

Directed by Adam Rifkin (he wrote & directed National Lampoon’s The Stoned Age).
Written by Carl V. Dupre (he wrote 2 of the direct-to-video Hellraiser movies).

Starring Giuseppe Andrews as Lex (Deputy Winston from Cabin Fever, Pleasantville, Independence Day, Homo Erectus aka The Stoned Age).
James DeBello as Trip (Dorm Daze, Cabin Fever, Scary Movie 2, 100 Girls, enthusiastic guy in American Pie).
Edward Furlong as Hawk (John Connor in Terminator 2, Pecker from Pecker, The Crow in The Crow 4, The Green Hornet).
Sam Huntington as Jam (Fanboys, Jimmy Olsen in Superman Returns, Not Another Teen Movie).
Lin Shaye as Mrs. Bruce, the bitchy mom (Nurse Crotchet in 2012 The Three Stooges, Snakes On A Plane, Dumb And Dumber, Contagion, Kingpin).
Melanie Lynskey as Beth (Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, Becky in The Life & Times Of Tim, The Informant!, Coyote Ugly, But I’m A Cheerleader).
Natasha Lyonne as Christine (American Pie 1/2/Reunion, Kate & Leopold, Scary Movie 2, But I’m A Cheerleader).
I didn’t even notice Emmanuelle Chriqui as Christine’s friend Barbara (Paige in Tron:Uprising, Cheetara in the 2010s Thundercats, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, The Crow 4, Wrong Turn, Waiting 1 & 2). (“Girl #1” was in Wrong Turn too.)
Also Ron Jeremy. Because he just shows up in things. Often enough that I have a screenshot from a movie that includes someone I know (Reverend Morgan Proctor) AND Ron Jeremy. He must get around a lot :)
And Shannon Tweed.
And oh! The cashier? Who wants Dr. Love to come back after saving her? Kristin Booth! I didn’t know who she was until I looked it up… She’s the voice of Parker in the Producing Parker. So frickin’ weird! She was also in Defendor and Young People Fucking.
Speaking of Defendor… One of the priests in this movie was Grandpa Henry in Defendor. The other one was in Slackers and Stripes.
Hehe…Chongo was in Gothika and Resident Evil:Apocalypse.

This movie is just weird. A lot of people were in other things we’ve seen. Maybe we’ve just watched a lot of movies.

“Beefy Jerk #1” was in Seven Psychopaths, which we JUST watched. He was also in The Dictator, Pineapple Express, Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Registered Sex Offender, Superbad.

Beefy Jerk #2!??! Is Bobby ‘Bacala’ Baccalieri from The Sopranos! The guy who kinda took care of Junior. He was also in Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas. I didn’t notice any of this. Just a testament to how much of a nexus this movie is…

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0165710/combined