Politics


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Bindlestiffs (2012) aka “Kevin Smith’s Bindlestiffs” but not really by Kevin Smith

Clint: 2.6/5 stars, 5.6/10.
Carolyn: 2.6/5 stars, 5.6/10.
Native ratings: 2.4/5 stars Netflix, 4.0/10 IMDB.
First off, this is not actually a Kevin Smith creation. Kevin Smith’s name is not even on the IMDB page. Yet this was billed to as as “Kevin Smith’s Bindlestiffs”. Apparently he ranted and raved about how good this movie is.  I had thought he was one of the producers, but no. The producers are mostly the actors. This is a film made by 3 high school students. It’s not an A movie. It’s not even a B movie. It’s a C movie in quality. For comparison… Clerks was a B movie. I only watch about one C movie a year.

But it still has its moments and value. Three virgins inspired by reading The Catcher In The Rye decide to have their own Holden Caulfield weekend. The weekend ends up very differently for all 3 of the characters. Some jokes are genuinely funny (like the scene where the the elderly homeless woman makes out with one of the characters in the middle of an extended vomiting session), but a lot of stuff falls flat.

This is more like a draft for a real movie later. With the right budget & focus groups (to weed out the jokes that just aren’t funny), these guys could make some seriously good movies later in their career.

But this one isn’t it.

Carolyn adds: “It was slightly entertaining, and slightly funny… It wasn’t particularly well-done, and it didn’t have much of a story to tell… I guess it tried to have a lesson learned, but it seemed to come up short… It was more like a slice of life.  It was definitely no Clerks, but maybe it was trying to go for the same feel as Clerks (as in “a day in the life..”), but came up short.”

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2091243/combined

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012)

Clint/Carolyn/Parthena: 4/5 stars.
Clint/Carolyn: 8/10.
Parthena: 7/10.
Native ratings: Netflix: 3.2/5 stars, IDMB: 6.7/10.

This would have been a 5-star movie if it had kept up with the comedy as strongly in the 2nd hour as it did in the first. But like a lot of romantic comedy movies, the comedy stops dead about halfway through, never to be revived.

It was still a great premise, though… Providing somewhat unique situations. The writer is the same writer as Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist (2008), and while I actually rated this one ever-so-slightly higher… I think I enjoyed Nick & Norah more.

If the 2nd half had stayed as funny and ridiculous as the 1st, this would have blown Nick & Norah away. But it didn’t. Still good though.

This actually reminded me of The Sure Thing with John Cusack.

And oh… VERY DARK. SO DARK FOR A COMEDY. JESUS.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1307068/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Clint: 5/5 stars, 8/10. Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 9/10.

Native rating: 4.5/5 stars, 6.0/10.

Produced in part by Tim Burton, directed by Timur Bekmambetov —  the same director as Night Watch and Day Watch — so he already has experience with awesomely-visual surreal worlds involving vampires. Very good choice. I’m glad this guy is doing English-language movies now.

This was an awesome concept. I pretty much instantly knew from the title alone that I would love this movie.

But then… Even despite all that… It completely blew away my expectations. Way more than I thought, and I already thought I’d love it.

I did not catch on that Abe’s wife was Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.

Anyway… Abe Lincoln was already pretty awesome, and this movie made him even cooler than before. Doesn’t matter if it’s fiction. This stoked simultaneous feelings that no other movie has ever stoked before. Great job!

This also wins the award for “best movie idea produced by manatees” (that’s a South Park Vs. Family Guy reference, in case you missed it).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1611224/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Starship Troopers: Invasion (2012) (anim)

3/5 stars, 7/10 from the both of us.
Native rating: Netflix 3.2/5 stars, IMDB 5.8/10.

A nice coda to the movies & the Roughnecks animated series.

This really opens up possibilities for the story to progress much further than it ever has… But will we ever see anything out of the Starship Troopers franchise again?

After watching all 3 movies, the 40 episodes of the Roughnecks cgi series, and even the shitty anime version — how much more steam can Starship Troopers have?

Time for a reboot?

Hell no, I’d much rather then continue the story further, beyond the realm the books ever went to.

Actually… Instead of making this fucking movie, they should have concluded the final unfinished story arc of the Roughnecks series. In a way, this movie is like spitting in our faces, spitefully saying “we could have finished Rougnecks, but no, fuck you, we’ll make this instead”.

But it’s still better than nothing. And to many, better than Starship Troopers 2 & 3.

But not to us — we LIKED the sequels, especially Starship Troopers 3.

I would like to know more.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2085930/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: The Campaign (2012)

4/5 stars, 8/10 from both of us.
Native rating: 3.5/5 stars Netflix, 6.3/10 IMDB.

Yea, pretty frickin’ funny! Great cast.

The political commentary kind of held the comedy back a bit, but that’s an okay price to pay to add political awesomeness to comedic awesomeness.

After all, it is election season.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1790886/

Controversial semantic History lesson of the day: The word ‘faggot’. A hurtful word, but most of that is based in cultural, not semantic history. Radha had used it enough to cause genuine disturbance with me, so I researched it a bit.

Historically, it means ‘old lady’. It came to mean “you are as weak as an old lady”. (I wonder if this has any relation to the other definition, “a bundle of sticks”, which are generally weak enough to break)

In the UK, boarding school bullies would forcibly sodomize the weaker boys, and they would be “faggots” for being weak enough to be raped. Faggots for being a weak old lady that allowed ‘her’self to be raped.

Now, who do you think the real gay person is in this scenario? The person fighting to not have a penis go in their ass, or the person fighting to get their penis into another person’s ass? That’s the irony of the situation: If anything, the original ‘homophobic’ use of “faggot” was actually used by gay bullies to mock straight rape victims for being as weak as easily-rapable old ladies. Humans are disgusting.

So it’s really not a homophobic word, it’s just become that way, especially in America.

Ironically, when young american kids call other kids this — kids so young they don’t understand sexuality (not sure if that still exists with the internet today; i didn’t know what an orgasm was until middle school) — they are really just using the “generic pejorative” historical definition, because they don’t understand what gay is (at least, pre-internet. Maybe today every 5 year old knows what sodomy is, I don’t know, I hate children and don’t pay attention to them anymore).

So, y’know, calling, say, the police “a bunch of faggots” isn’t saying they are gay. Anyone evolved to the modern point of enlightenment knows there is nothing wrong with being gay, so how is calling someone gay an insult? More gay police would actually be a very positive thing.

It’s saying they are as weak as old women, and that’s why they have to resort to things like tasering schooldchildren and grandmothers and shooting dogs. Because they are weaker than old ladies. Fucking pig thug faggots. Nothing to do with their sexuality. It’s also bound to offend police because the majority of police are homophobic (find me a study that proves otherwise, because i can and did look one up before writing this). And an offended officer is good. Offended officers get mad, make mistakes on video, and occasionally face actual justice. Level-headed officers know how to get away with it.

So again: Fuck the police. If you support them, fuck you. If you think that little girl should have been thrown to the ground of her class, you are a faggot. And not the gay kind, because I wouldn’t give a shit about that. (If I could, I would turn 90% of the male population gay. More women would become available. Gay rights would be solved the next day because men are the ones in power. Win win. Bring on the gay missiles.)

At least we can get off the stupid magazine limit debate? Poor people need to be able to defend themselves from multiple attackers more than the privileged, who can afford 41 ten-round magazines (what this guy had).

Reduce it to 5, he buys 82 instead. Meanwhile, some poor person somewhere dies running out of bullets from multiple attackers.

But even if that person doesn’t run out of bullets and successfully saves his life– him defending himself gets counted as a gun homicide statistic, which gets used as a justification for magazine limits and for why he should be forced to have less bullets for defending himself.

It’s insidiously circular: The cause of saving one’s life is literally used as a reason to make it harder to save one’s life, in this hypothetical (but not that uncommon in human events) situation. Successfully saving your ass counts as a gun death! (more…)

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